History Awesome / TheColbertReport

'''Stephen:''' [[ArmorPiercingQuestion What are the Ten Commandments?]]

'''Stephen:''' What are the Ten Commandments?\\

* December 15th: Not only did Nat Geo Wild agree to host Stephen's Serious Classy Republican Debate, but they even created an amazing promo for it. And then AnimalPlanet ALSO agreed to host it! [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/404470/december-15-2011/stephen-colbert-s-south-carolina-serious--classy-republican-debate---network-battle Let the battle begin!]]

* May 2nd: The day after OsamaBinLaden was killed, Colbert made what is probably the best quote about the fact that [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing there was so much rejoicing over the news]]: "I hope I am never again this happy over the death of another human being."

* October 1st: After Colbert ran a segment highlighting the many, ''many'' problems with [[BillOReilly Bill O'Reilly's]] plan to assemble [[PrivateMilitaryContractors a private military force]] to fight ISIL, Papa Bear responded on his own show, saying that Stephen "has no [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud bleeping]] clue" how to fight the jihad. Stephen's response:

* June 23rd: How did Stephen Colbert get notoriously private and interview-averse [[TheWhiteStripes Jack White]] to relax during their interview? Have a Catholic trivia contest. [[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/24/jack-white-stephen-colbert_n_884052.html It has to be seen to be believed]].

* February 8th: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/264042/february-08-2010/sarah-palin-uses-a-hand-o-prompter In response to Sarah Palin defending Rush Limbaugh's use of "effing retard" as satire:]] ''"SARAH PALIN IS A FUCKING RETARD."'' [[BadAss Stephen]] said it right into the camera. ''Hell'' yeah.

'''Stephen:''' That is a good question. Can you think of [[AmericanChurches any better building]] to put the Ten Commandments in than in a public building?\\

* When Stephen interviewed [[Wiki/{{Conservapedia}} Andrew Schlafly]], he got his revenge on [[Wiki/RationalWiki Assfly]] taking his name out of his revision of the Bible by accusing him of inventing his own truth. We all knew it was true long before he said it, but the fact that Stephen said it to his face, [[RefugeInAudacity while still pretending to support him]], has to count for something.

* December 11th: Stephen's surprise guest, promoting ''Film/TheHobbitTheBattleOfTheFiveArmies'', turns out to be... [[InstantAwesomeJustAddDragons the Dragon Smaug!]] Maybe you thought it would be Creator/BenedictCumberbatch, but, no, when Stephen Colbert said his guest was Smaug, he meant Smaug of the Lonely Mountain, Last of Morgoth's Firedrakes, chiefest and greatest of calamaties. They actually animated a gigantic CGI dragon poking his head into the studio to talk to Stephen!

* November 8th: The [[TropeNamer Trope Naming]] "The Wørd" segment for "INeedAFreakingDrink". [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/77985/november-08-2006/the-word---sigh Carried entirely by Stephen's physical acting and expressions]] and the segments trademark right screen text.

* October 30th: The Word-[[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/182364/october-30-2006/the-word---shameless Shameless]].

* June 14th: One of the show's early "Better Know a District" interviews, before anyone knew who he was, was with [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/70730/june-14-2006/better-know-a-district---georgia-s-8th---lynn-westmoreland Republican Congressman Lynn Westmoreland]], who had done virtually nothing during his time in office except try to get the Ten Commandments displayed in federal government buildings.[[note]]While reading the following, keep in mind that Stephen Colbert (the real one) is a practicing Roman Catholic who ''teaches Sunday School''. The chances that he ''can't'' recite the Ten Commandments from memory are somewhere just north of absolute zero.[[/note]]

* October 17th: In the pilot episode, Stephen establishes and defines the word "Truthiness" (defining reality by what feels in your gut like it should be true, rather than what is actually true.), which went on to become a runaway hit, starting with getting chosen as the American Dialect Society's Word of the Year for 2005.

* The show's origin. After struggling to find a show to follow ''Series/TheDailyShow'' (''Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn'', ''Weekend at the DL'', etc.), the producers of TDS pitched an idea: Stephen Colbert parodying Bill O'Reilly. That one phrase got the head of Creator/ComedyCentral to OK the show for a two month run. ''Without ever filming a pilot''.
** The show's origin dates even before that: the concept started as a series of fake promos on The Daily Show, before they decided to make it into an actual show.

** Yes, because regardless of whether the person that invited him knew that Colbert plays a character or not, they got far more than they bargained for. The event was a roast, they got pure unadulterated arson. Note how Bush laughed at the guy before Colbert, but wasn't laughing once Stephen launched his act. In fact, you could tell the Bush supporters in the room from his dissidents by who was laughing and who wasn't- and given who the event was for, most of them were supporters, but Stephen stayed true to the end, and yet all he did was point out the truth in a humorous tone to the man in charge of the country. That takes gorram brass balls.

* June 14th: One of the show's early "Better Know a District" interviews, before anyone knew who he was, was with [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/70730/june-14-2006/better-know-a-district---georgia-s-8th---lynn-westmoreland Republican Congressman Lynn Westmoreland]], who had done virtually nothing during his time in office except try to get the Ten Commandments displayed in federal government buildings.

* August 28: In "The Word: Acid Flashback", Stephen [[SomeAnvilsNeedToBeDropped drops an anvil]] about how [[TwoDecadesBehind America's obsession with moral battles from the 1960s is blinding them from the problems of the present day]].
-->'''Stephen:''' We stick with these 40-year-old battles because they are comfortable and familiar. We know how to take sides in these arguments, besides if we didn't we'd have to address the problems of the present and who wants to do that? Those things are monsters! ([[TakeThat Created in Cheney's lab]]) So let us keep fighting the culture wars of our grandparents, never mind that 50 percent of today's Americans weren't even born when these arguments mattered. (Less Hanoi Hilton, more Paris Hilton) They are still relevant today, the 60s are a political gift that keeps on giving because they are wounds our country can never heal. (As long as we keep picking at it)

* November 18th: [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/256441/november-18-2009/the-word---grand-old-pity-party Calling]] Sarah Palin's autobiography "a steaming pile of shit," then calling [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/256442/november-18-2009/threatdown---quetzalcoatl--santa-claus---canadian-groin-kickers Quetzalcoatl]] a pussy & refusing to apologize:

* In [[HouseOfCardsUS House of Cards]] Season 3, Stephen Colbert interviews [[spoiler: President]] Underwood. He also repeatedly mocks him, his project, and makes him look like a fool. Frank Underwood is a man who has destroyed, [[spoiler: and killed,]] people for lesser offenses. Stephen Colbert got away with it, while in front of millions.

-->'''Stephen:''' That's outrageous. Bill O'Reilly has to do his own bleeping? Come on, Rupert Murdoch, spring for the bleep machine! I've got one here, look: Bill O'Reilly is a f[[SoundEffectBleep **]]king egomaniac.

* October 17th: In the pilot episode, Stephen creates and defines the word "Truthiness" (defining reality by what feels in your gut like it should be true, rather than what is actually true.), which went on to become a runaway hit, starting with getting chosen as the American Dialect Society's Word of the Year for 2005.

-->'''Colbert''': Now, I know there are some polls out there saying [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush this man]] has a 32 percent approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality'. And reality has a well-known liberal bias. Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's two-thirds empty. There's still some liquid in that glass, is my point. But I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash.

-->'''Colbert''': To be here at the same table with my hero: George-Double-[[StealthPun you bush]]...

-->'''Colbert:''' Why was that important to you?\\

'''Colbert:''' I'm with you.\\

'''Colbert:''' That is a good question. Can you think of [[AmericanChurches any better building]] to put the Ten Commandments in than in a public building?\\

'''Colbert:''' What are the Ten Commandments?\\

'''Colbert:''' Mm-hmm.\\

'''Colbert:''' Yes, please. ''[puts up his hands with his fists closed]''\\

'''Colbert:''' Congressman, thank you for taking time away from keeping the Sabbath day holy[[note]](the fourth Commandment)[[/note]] to talk to me.\\

'''Colbert''': "If you're an act, then what am I?"

-->Colbert: To look at that ad and not feel for the man (Michael J. Fox), you'd have to be a [[RushLimbaugh cold, heartless sociopath]].

-->'''Colbert''': "It's time for another installment of ''Hail To The Cheese'': Stephen Colbert's Nacho Cheese Doritos 2008 Presidential Campaign...Coverage!"

-->'''Colbert''': "And if you wish to see my portrait, then go to the National Portrait Gallery, take the stairs to the second floor, then go to the bathroom!"

-->'''Colbert''': "And that hospital administrator was James T. Colbert, who had recently sired an heir - who would later grow up to become the greatest American alive."

* January 11th: How about this: a poll taken among South Carolina Republican voters placed Stephen at a whoping ''5%'' of the vote. A full percentage point above Jon Huntsman. '''''AND HE IS NOT EVEN RUNNING!!!''''' Maybe.
** And from that, the entire first act of his January 12, 2012 show the next day, where he transfers control of his Super Pac to Jon Stewart so he'll be free to run for president, and the two of them flaunting how closely they work together, what good friends they are and how they can communicate through their TV shows, and thus can slip through legal loopholes forbidding presidential candidates and super pacs from directly coordinating their plans. Also a CrowningMomentOfFunny, awesome because, as Stephen demonstrated shortly before bringing out Stewart, this is pretty much how real life super pacs work.

--->'''Stephen:''' The pundits have asked, is this all some joke? And I say, if they are calling being allowed to form a super PAC and collecting unlimited, untraceable amounts of money from individuals, unions, and corporations, and spending that money on political ads and for personal enrichment, and then surrendering that super PAC to one of my closest friends while I explore a run for office -- if that is a joke, then they are saying our entire campaign finance system is a joke!

* April 17th: Stephen does a parody of country star BradPaisley's controversial song, "Accidental Racist", titled "Oopsie-Daisy Homophobe", with ''[[AlanCumming Alan Freaking Cumming]]'' doing the LLCoolJ rap verse.

* October 4th: Colbert takes a couple whose wedding was ruined by the Government Shutdown shutting down national monuments, and ''marries them on TV.'' Even better are the celebrities involved: Smokey the Bear, Mandy Patinkin, and Broadway singer Audra [=McDonald=] singing a cover of White Wedding.
* November 13th: Stephen tears apart journalist Richard Cohen who wrote that [[UnfortunateImplications "interracial families can trigger a gag reflex in people with 'conventional views.'"]] while writing about NYC mayor-elect Bill [=DiBlasio=] and his interracial family.

** Then Colbert puts this fact to use when he defends the design of the crossguard lightsaber seen in the Force Awakens teaser trailer.

** The same congressman made headlines during the 2008 presidential election for describing BarackObama and his wife Michelle as [[UnfortunateImplications "uppity."]] On September 5, 2008, [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/180282/september-05-2008/better-know-a-district---lynn-westmoreland-update Colbert responded]] on the show by calling him a [[CrowningMomentOfFunny "stupid cracker"]] and replaying the BKAD segment.