No
"What's the password?"
"Open this Fucking door!"
"...Alright, you're good. Sorry about that."
"The government at least managed to keep the riverboats running. If the right business folk bribed the right government folk, sometimes they'd even run on time."
-Narration from my (rather ignorant) yandere protagonist
-Narration from the same protagonist after finding out who her crush really is and then being brought home to her mother by him
edited 7th Sep '13 3:28:54 PM by DeviousRecital
What should I put here?
Mage bashing, why is it so fun?
I write stuff sometimes. I also sometimes make youtube videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/majormarks
They/Them
The mousy looking woman in the black dress opposite her quakes a little, and then slowly rights her posture, "I am sick of you, Liana." All of a sudden, burning pain in Liana's head. She collapses on the ground, her brain feeling like it was boiling.
"You constantly talk down to people, using your high position like a bludgeon. Well, you picked on the wrong person today." The pain escalates until it feels like ice picks cracking Liana's skull open. She screams, but none can hear her, "I-I might not be as beautiful a girl, or as alluring, or as rich, but I do have one thing you don't."
Liana can only scream now, and suddenly vomits as the pain sluices down through her neck and then quickly down to her toes. Megala quakes, but remains steady, "I-I'm a Forsworn Lord, just as much as Gabbie and Sam, and I command respect. I can be a million times meaner than you can, Liana. Lets compare; you bully, talk down to, and isolate. I spy on and destroy nations. I think I win in the evil department."
Liana realizes her fatal error. She had underestimated her new allies, and overestimated her own position, "P-Please...not t-that."
Megala looks away from her dismissively, "Yes, that. From now on, Liana of House Midrune, you revere me. Y-You never talk down to or bully anyone ever again. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"
Liana struggles one last time, as she feels Megala's magic squirming in her brain, deleting her individuality, destroying the woman she once was. One last scream, and then, "Mistress, your orders?"
"Clean up this mess. With your fancy dress." Megala walks off, allowing herself a small smile.
Here we have ex-social outcast Megala from an RP I am participating in, and she's a villain, granted, but she takes down and demolishes the Alpha Bitch who was dabbling in dark magic to get her own petty, very mean spirited revenge. Given what this libby was doing before, this is Laser-Guided Karma.
I really, really liked writing this.
edited 9th Sep '13 7:12:30 PM by NickTheSwing
Zzzzzzzzzz
That's quite good, Nick. One problem, though: you're swapping tenses during it. Sometimes something happened (past tense), and other times, even in the same sentence, it happens (present tense).
...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.
I corrected the tense issues.
Gotta say, even though its a manipulative Spymaster doing it, with hints of And I Must Scream, Liana is just so horrible and she brought this on herself so much, it ends up Laser-Guided Karma.
They/Them
Ithaqua explaining to Loki why he prefer eating people in his natural form.
edited 9th Sep '13 9:50:20 PM by DarkbloodCarnagefang
Note to self: Pick less edgy username next time.
The future of warfare in UC.
"Then put on some clothes, because I remember the image of you in your-dammit. I'm sorry. That was unfair. But please do put on clothes. This is all too screwed up to work with."
For the funny Forsworn Lord, here's Ashlau Dimodeus trying to attack some knights.
The pretty youth thought over The Plan Lincifa and Sam told him; Kidnap the Prince. Ransom him to his father. Set a meeting for the exchange. Kill both of them at the meeting. Simple as...simple as...simple as simple could be.
"I just need to magickify them." He watched the knights walking past with the Prince at the center of their formation. Ashlau was immediately angered. The blond was exactly the same as Ashlau's old tormentors, those who he tracked down and had thrown in his dungeons before he was sealed. Big. Muscular. Carried himself with confidence.
Mind muddled with anger, Ashlau stalked forward with what he thought to be cat-like tread. The knights, due to the inexperienced attempt at skulking, immediately knew something was up, and were ready.
Ashlau leaped into action with a half-way sort of almost attempt at a half-hearted valiant warcry, "Come with Forsworn Lord Ashlau Dimodeus, you...you...you...big dumb doodoo head! Or face my sorcerous fury!" The knights proceeded to draw their swords around him, having arranged themselves in a circle around the would be assailant.
Dimodeus gulped, he had some ways out of this. He was certain. He had gotten out of worse sticky moments. There was that time Selmira almost tortured him by accident. It was surely accident. Surely. And he got out of that.
The Prince chuckled, "Big dumb doodoo head? What are you, seven?"
Ashlau whimpered, "...S-Seven hundred..."
edited 9th Sep '13 11:35:32 PM by NickTheSwing
That one made me cackle. Did he at least LOOK 7 years old? ![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Got another one;
edit: This had better grammar in my head. Oh vey.
"Hmmmm. Levitithan is smaller than the legends indicted. Radar indicates it's only a mere thirty kilometres long."
"Only."
"Yes...?"
"Only. Only thirty kilometres."
"That's what I sa-"
"Leviathan. Is Only. A Mere. Thirty. Kilometres. Long."
"What are yo-"
"THOSE CONCEPTS SHOULD NOT GO TOGETHER!!!"
edited 10th Sep '13 5:09:16 AM by doorhandle
The future of warfare in UC.
Old one, work was abandoned, but the main character is having a semi-rage-against-the-heavens moment about the number of wingmen he's lost.
“Fuck.” Richard’s voice was deadpan regardless, but he fought his controls, forcing his Taurus to come about and holding it steady in the face of a scrambled fly-by-wire system that really didn’t want to do so. Not this one, dammit! Not this one! He didn't see the white-painted monstrosity as such at that moment. It was everything, every disaster, everything responsible for three lost flights and six lost wingmen and a reputation as a walking jinx who got everyone killed. He toggled to missiles and was relieved to hear the solid tone of a lock, the infrared search and track still worked apparently. His thumb jammed down on the launch button hard enough to crack the plastic. "This one goes home, you son of a bitch."
"How do I look?"
"Like you're going to rip out my spine, beat me to death with it, and skewer me on it for some rotisserie-style meat."
"Perfect."
"The reason that humans are everywhere, all over the galaxy, is that once, several interregna ago, there was this old man with a long white beard, who told them to march out and hump like nympho bunnies. (No, I don't know what 'bunnies' are, but I presume they're much inclined to humping.)" Riu-Anna Taryas-Daughter, felinoid pirate.
Edit: I've inserted an incorrect hyphen in her last name (you're not supposed to use hypens in felinoid matronyms!) to stop the forum system treating it as a link.
edited 21st Sep '13 11:50:47 PM by Peter34
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
You can enclose words in [= and =] to prevent that.
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
Having a capital in the middle of the name is a little odd, JohnSon, AnderSon kind of odd.
edited 22nd Sep '13 5:41:15 AM by m8e
What should I put here?
John-Son as in Son-of-John could work nicely, though.
I write stuff sometimes. I also sometimes make youtube videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/majormarks
Street Writing Man
"I'm not in the truth business," I said, "I'm in the facts business. If it's truth you want, First Methodist is three blocks down the road."
~Amber Eckart explains her business model to a client in Naming the Hangmen
If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
Instrument of Destruction and Rebirth
"If I ever see you acting like that again, I'll punch your teeth out so hard that you'll be able to chew with your arse!"
"Yeah! And then I'll kick your arse so hard you'll be able to chew with your...mouth. Shit."
Bímíd ag troid le chéile, bímíd ag beo le chéile.
The capital D (or S) is a felinoid tradition, to indicate that it's a matronym or a patronym, and not a human-style "lineage-indicating" last name. I figure they mostly use matronyms (there's a trope for that, I believe), but many have switched to human-style last names, depending on how much they've assimilated into human cultures.
"What are you? A psychopath?"
"No I'm a sociopath. There's a difference."
Or
"If you'll excuse me I'll be on the john."
*everyone looks at her confused*
"What? No, not that Jon."
I haven't actually written this yet, but I did have this one line I quite liked: "Sacrifices have to be made for our convictions; I merely sacrificed those who did not agree with mine."
Shamshalg Shows What Kind of Villain He Is:
Shamshalg: "I think we should kill him and his uncle's entire family."
Mercenary: "Why? He's just a messenger!"
Shamshalg: "Because they look like purple monkey baskets of orange apples. That is as good as incest and fetishizing airships in my book!"
Merc: "...Sir? Are you okay?"
Sham': "I've never been okay. I've been so un-okay I've been excellent!"
"Anyone know if there's any way to treat a burned stomach lining?"