Household Improvised Weapons

Any ideas? Most of what I can come up with involve kitchen implements or maintenance, both of which are out of reach.

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable

If you know what's not available for some reason, tell us. It will make brainstorming what is available easier. Where is the character in the house? why is the kitchen unaccessible?

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

Stapler. Metal ruler. Shampoo bottles. Cans. Dictionaries. Textbooks. Mops/swiffers. Porcelain plates and cups for throwing. Lamps. Soap for accuracy.

edited 29th Sep '10 4:53:49 PM by A_H_R

New User Handle

A chair (countless wrestling matches). Pen or pencil (River Tam Sessions featured a pen for this). Telephone (True Lies had this I think). Flashlight (cops tend to hold their light up over their shoulder, so it can make an improvised baton). Letter opener. Broom.

edited 29th Sep '10 4:59:50 PM by pvtnum11

Happiness is zero-gee with a sinus cold.

The most dangerous things in a given household are the microwave and stove/water heater/other gas-run applicance. Since I can't think of a good way to weaponize a microwave, the best bet for a character aiming to kill would be to mess with the gas pipes and cause a methane explosion like in the Bourne Supremacy.

As for a melee, anything harder than a human fist and easy to swing could work as a sort of club. Lamps, books, chairs, cups, bottles. Televisions could be dropped from upper storeys. Anything glass that was smashed through would hurt a lot. Not to mention pens, forks, brooms and knives. Most of all though, the walls themselves. A house is more clustered than a boxing ring and sometimes, people pinned against a wall can't escape. Beat them into it, hold them back against it, it always gives the upper hand.

Oooh, and golf clubs. Tiny point filled with a lot of force=OWWY!

Hair spray + lighter.

i. hear. a. sound.

Boiling water, stripped electrical wires (a bit difficult to prepare), doors, tip-able furniture, metal water bottles, baseball bats, fluorescent light bulbs, clothes iron, a master lock, any firearms that might be around, laptop, mirror, glass shards, nails, hammer, cordless power saw, cordless power drill, regular saw, and that's all I got.

But most of all, the element of surprise that can come from being familiar with your surroundings. With most of this stuff, surprise is everything.

Wow this thread is strangely disturbing. Also it makes me think of the game Manhunt.

Look, you can't make me speak in a logical, coherent, intelligent bananna.

Anything light can be thrown as a distraction.

Books can be used to bludgeon.

Tools such as hammers or even an axe.

A light dumbbell.

This is this.

If you take a look, evrything can be weaponized somehow (with varyin efectiveness) Got a bathroom cleaner or a Pesticide can nearby? Spray them into the enemy's eyes. How about trowing kitchen utensils? Choke soebody with a pillow or sheet? Why not. Threaten your agressor with a toothbrush then proceed to viciously brush your teeth? Ehhhh, i think that would fail.

Also, Anything in a spray can can make a good explosive.

edited 29th Sep '10 7:40:49 PM by heartlessmushroom

In an improvised fight, nothing beats the good old fashioned baseball bat.

Computer mice, headphones, wired game controllers, wired telephones, transformers - in short anything with a wire can become a potential garrote. Of special note is the Wiimote, attach the Nunchuck accessory and it looks like it could be a perfectly serviceable garrote (and less useful flail).

Also, an old style "block" transformer could be used as a flail.

Glass bottles. Screw breaking them, just clobber your opponent with them. Ditto for anything made of glass.

Doors, walls tables, counters? Slam your opponent into them.

Socks? Fill them with coins, batteries, sand etc. and use them like a flail.

Madrugada: Yes, in retrospect I should have been more specific.

There are several fights in various areas, but the two I'm thinking about most begin in my main character's bedroom and someone else's parlor/living room. In both cases additional rooms are out of reach, and in any case my protagonist isn't sure where the maintenance tools are kept most of the time.

I should also add that I'm more interested in things you might pick up to carry with you if you have up to a minute's warning beforehand - I'm well aware that anything can be used as a weapon in an emergency.

Bury it and rig it to snap shut and activate when someone steps into it by mistake. Or reaches inside to get something out.

Current suggestions I like:

•  ^{Actual weapons that someone might be likely to have}
  ^{Pocket knife, knuckleguard, pepper spray}
•  ^{Decor/Personal}
  ^{Fireplace poker, candlestick, handmirror, lampstand, flagpole, letter opener, umbrella, pen/pencil, fluorescent lights, dumbbell, metal ruler, earbud wires, weighted sock, hard bottle,}
•  ^Outdoors
  ^{Woodaxe, flashlight, machete, propane, lighter fluid, tent stake and hammer}
•  ^Sports
  ^{Baseball bat, golf club, croquet mallet}
•  ^{Kitchen/Bathroom}
  ^{Cleaver, skewer, rolling pin, ladle?, frying pan, cleaner spray/insecticide, hairspray and lighter, clothes iron}
•  ^Maintenance
  ^{Mallet, sledgehammer, crowbar, claw hammer, screwdriver, wrench, t-square, drill, chain or cable, shovel, rake, hoe, trowel, averruncator, hacksaw, clamp, ramset nailgun. There's also a hammer tacker that gets used as a torture device.}

edited 29th Sep '10 10:56:02 PM by Noaqiyeum

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable

Shoes with hard heels; high heels are particularly effective.

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

Ooh, good thought!

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable

A pen or mechanical pencil works when you have nothing else.

This is this.

^ Car keys work better.

^ I have a knife on my keychain. (and a little flashlight - don't go anywhere without a light!)

Happiness is zero-gee with a sinus cold.

Hmm...[takes a stroll around the apartment]

Blunt Objects: Silver-plated hand mirror, Big stripper boots with really heavy stacked heel (what? It was for a halloween costume), ceramic dragon, hardcover copy of War And Peace, Maglite.

Stabby Objects: Stilettos, tweezers, exacto knife

Weaponized Objects: Boiled linseed oil. Can—no shit—"cause spontaneous combustion." I DID NOT KNOW THAT.

Screaming along at mach .2 with my hair on fire.

Within reaching distance of me, right now, as I sit at the computer desk:

• Telephone (cordless handset)
• Bronze statue of a dragon; heavy (somewhere around 1.5 to 2 pounds), hard, lots of pointy bits, nice shape for swinging.
• cup full of chopsticks, pens, pencils, paintbrushes.
• full glass bottle of Frappuchino
• empty wineglass
• large glass paperweight
• can of compressed air
• can of butane
• steel nailfile
• pair of utility scissors

Elsewhere in the room:

• Broom
• package of venetian blinds
• hammer
• wooden coat hangers
• desk lamp
• small fire extinguisher
• briefcase
• several big, heavy, thick, hardcover books.

edited 30th Sep '10 10:22:09 PM by Madrugada

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

What I have near me:

• One athletic stopwatch.
• One baseball.
• One baseball bat.
• Several pens.
• One near empty dry cat food dish.
• One portable electric fan.
• One copy of Stephen Hawking's A Brief History Of Time. (Tenth anniversary edition)
• One Phillips head screwdriver.
• Assorted rocks from near Pueblo Reservoir (including one piece of aggregate aka nature's concrete.)

I might not be the best example, but:

• A kukri in my upper desk drawer.
• Assorted pocketknives and a tanto.
• Heavy textbooks and a variety of other possible bludgeons.
• Pens and other writing utensils.
• A weird hammer-type contraction along with my knives. It's got a chisel on the other end, too.

This is this.

Near me: -A lot of books -Power cord for the laptop -My jogging pants -My pair of slippers -This laptop -Some suitcases

Within the room: -Two pens -My jacket -My body spray -More books -A speaker -My uncle's shoes -A hacksaw -My sister's piss-pot -My school shoes -The altar in the room -Candles for the body spray -My rosary -My brother's guitar

The Southpaw has no brakes!

Stuff near me: (within a meter from my position and excluding overly expensive and likely too impractical objects)

• Phone
• Chair
• Stainless steel swords
• Footstool
• LEGO
• Hundreds of pencils
• Metal ruler
• Some cans
• An encyclopedia about weapons
• Parasol
• Few dozen clothes hangers
• Hat rack
• Electric fan
• Belts
• Metal pencil case
• Flyswatter
• Lightbox
• Wooden shield
• A wooden box
• A tin box
• Picture frames

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.

I think solid-body electric guitars would make quite handy clubs when needed, especially the Fender Telecaster.

Has ADD, plays World of Tanks, thinks up crazy ideas like children making spaceships for Hitler. Occasionally writes them down.

1. Wireless jammer. Just remove the shielding and turn it on. An unshielded microwave would probably be dangerous to sensitive equipment - pacemakers, brain pacemakers and other such. 2. Explosives. See Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This? under entries for Oh, Crap!, Stuff Blowing Up. Deodorant cans apparently work.

edited 1st Oct '10 2:47:23 PM by TheFifthHorseman