If life was more like GTA.

What if Real Life was more like Grand Theft Auto (or Saints Row, since it's so close).

• Radio stations would have no apparent FCC regulation.
• Everything important to do would be marked by a glowing area about the size of a person or a car.
• Any car on a parking lot is yours for the taking.
• Radio stations would still have a limited selection, but at least more variety.
• No need to check pulses. If someone dies, money just appears in a bundle floating next to them.
• Every Car Is a Pinto, but getting repairs costs about as much as getting a shirt and a pair of pants.
• If you are white, and not eastern European, you can't swim.

Flout all the speed limits, ignore any red lights and drive as crazy as you like. If the police crash into your car, though, you're the one with an economy ticket to the clink.

Doesn't really matter, though. Even if the police find out about the multiple thefts, arson attacks and murders you've committed, pay a small bribe and you'll be released on the same day.

edited 15th Oct '10 4:06:04 AM by DarkDecapodian

Cause a major collision and run civilians off the road? No problem. But god help you if you so much as ding a police car.

We would be extremely and utterly fucked. Unless you're one of the protagonists.

And America would probably try to invade Europe and China. Eagleland is taken to far, far above eleven in those games.

edited 15th Oct '10 4:16:48 AM by Exploder

Seatbelts would be nonexistent.

*walks up to random car, presses a button, and opens the door, sits inside, and drives off without any hassle whatsoever*

Also, horses would never run out of stamina and we'd be able to make perfect headshots from the saddle. ...Wait.

The way you described it, wouldn't it just be an anarchial society with amazingly advanced GPS systems?

^ Which is pretty much what GTA games are often like.

Every big towns would oddly enough seem to be in the middle of a body of water with no access to any mainland, other than maybe ferries.

It would be far too easy to win at lottery.

Any kind of injury is healable in a few hours at your local hospital for a few bucks and the confiscation of your weapons. Free healthcare!

Free healthcare is balanced by clothes that cost a fortune even at your local thrift store.

Jetpacks work. 'nuff said.

There would be 50 to 100 things to collect in every city.

All bills would be impregnated with chemiluminescent inks, so that they glowed like fragments of Kryptonite. Muggings would become more commonplace as a result.

^^ Doesn't that sound a little like geocaching?

Well, only without GPS coordinates in the games?

edited 15th Oct '10 1:21:40 PM by Litis

Got in trouble for lots of felonies from murder to arson to jaywalking? Don't worry, just go get your car washed - the police won't be able to recognize you with that new shine, even if they see you go in.

edited 15th Oct '10 1:24:50 PM by KnownUnknown

^ We've already seen that one. Besides, it's such an obvious one. Try to be a least somewhat original.

RC cars and helicopters would not sell very well. At all.

No kids.

Body armour would let me survive a shotgun blast from close range. Hot Dogs and Burgers would let me heal broken legs. Water would let me survive falls from hundreds of metres.

We've already seen that one. Besides, it's such an obvious one. Try to be a least somewhat original.

Get the stick out your ass DQZ. I'm not going to pander to what you think is original, I'm going to say things that I found funny in the games.

And, on that note:

Every business would not only be crooked, but will be run by some sort of mentally disturbed nutball who happens to have a minor/major crime ring behind them.

All the rappers will be untalented or posers. Oh... wait...

edited 15th Oct '10 4:14:22 PM by KnownUnknown

"Water would let me survive falls from hundreds of metres."

Unless you are white and from Western Europe.

You could easily trick the police into running off buildings, one right after another.

This post was THUMPED by the baseball bat of staying on topic.

edited 16th Oct '10 2:36:05 AM by DragonQuestZ

All you would need is twenty minutes on a treadmill to lose dozens of pounds of fat.

Don't tell me that calling on the unoriginality of that is a stick up there.

^ It's not. Your dickish way of saying so, however, is.

You can't fault people for having similar reactions to the same things. Perhaps I should have looked through all the responses to see if it was a popular one, yeah, but that's still no excuse for you to be an asshole on something that's really Just for Fun.

edited 15th Oct '10 4:21:09 PM by KnownUnknown

This post was THUMPED by the baseball bat of staying on topic.

edited 16th Oct '10 2:35:44 AM by DragonQuestZ

If life was like Grand Theft Auto, I would crash into the ocean every ten minutes because I cannot maintain a moderate cruising speed. I just seem to accelerate out of control.

OOOOOOCCEEEEAAAAN!