Rational Twilight: Luminosity

Thanks, didn't think of that.

Is it just me, but shouldn't the other vampires see Demeteri as obsessing over an imaginary friend?

The luminous version werks fine

"Is it just me, but shouldn't the other vampires see Demeteri as obsessing over an imaginary friend?"

Nope. Allirea isn't invisible or concealed or otherwise *not there* to anyone's eyes. She just doesn't matter. Demetri just has a really obscure hobby that nobody else cares about :)

I love Brooke. I know she's brainwashed and that her cheerfulness is all a facade, but she's adorable all the same. "Welcome to our happy little police force!"

Also, DANG. "Snipsnip" indeed.

Allirea's power strikes me as more of a Somebody Else's Problem field. She makes herself seem too unimportant to care about.

edited 3rd Dec '10 6:47:51 AM by Maridee

This chapter was the most disturbing by far. I expected to meet a reformed chelseaed person. I didn't expect to be introduced to the entire freaking family.

When Eddie died, it was a Darkest Hour. But this is really a Despair Event Horizon. ONE HUNDRED FREAKING WOLVES? If the endgame involves ending the Volturi's rule... Only the Author Can Save Them Now...

Empty Quiver, man, Empty Quiver.

You mean the "nukes" are Bella and whoever that unimportant girl was?

There aren't a hundred wolves! Fewer than half the folks living in the village are activated wolves. The rest are imprints and puppies.

Perhaps a diagram might help. As an excuse, have the characters draw it as part of a battle plan. Either side may have reasons to do this.

I'm thinking of writing up a massive character list; will that help?

^^^^No, by "nukes" I mean Atomic Hate. Deus ex Nukina. Steal a nuke, steal nuclear material and memorize a library of physics books. Deploy against Volterra. I mean, they eat enough people that it's probably worth it unless you think you can beat them in under a decade, which seems unlikely. Maybe a large conventional explosive.

Of course, now they have hostages. But does Bella know that? And does that count as a Sadistic Choice if she does?

Edit; A character page couldn't hurt.

Edit Edit; I can see your point about what's her name, but everyone seems to forget that she ever existed. I guess she's that unimportant. I wonder if he gets teased about his silly hobby.

Edit edit edit; Hah, autocorrect keeps changing Bella's name. 'Again we see, Mrs. Cullen; there is nothing that you posses that I cannot take from you.'…Deploy the Ark of the Covenant?

edited 3rd Dec '10 11:42:17 AM by DrRockopolis

Maridee: I love Brooke. I know she's brainwashed and that her cheerfulness is all a facade, but she's adorable all the same. "Welcome to our happy little police force!"

Brooke was just incredibly creepy to me, in some very specific ways.

And...poor Elspeth :( Her Loyalty's been countered, and she didn't even get to 8. Uh, years old.

I'm way behind.

"My dear," said Aro after half a minute, assuming an almost avuncular smile, "I said you could have Gianna, and have her you may. If that is the use for her that suits you, far be it from me to deny you." Like I was a four-year-old who'd gotten a nice toy and only wanted to play with the box it came in.

What's a vuncular?

Avuncular: resembling a uncle in kindness or indulgence

You learn something new every day.

This guy is a source of Cross-Popping Veins...

Chapter 13: Villager

Weeeee!!! New chapter!

...

...

Before reading, I have one question.

This isn't going to turn into a The Prisoner Shout-Out, is it?

Now that was creepy. Especially thinking about "Chelsea makes it easy".

>"The Prisoner Shout Out"

I've never seen the show. Any shoutouts are accidental.

edited 5th Dec '10 6:18:50 PM by Alicorn

Chapter 14: Sharer

edited 7th Dec '10 8:08:10 PM by Alicorn

"What do you think I should do specifically?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. That's why I'm going to borrow Edward's power and have Chelsea there, and let you know how it goes while you experiment," Addy replied.

"Okay."

creeeeeeeeepy.... "It's okay, my father's probably a heap on the floor somewhere, no big deal..."

"Mine," she told me. "I'm very curious about what just happened, Elspeth; why don't we go settle somewhere comfortable, in your room, and try again?"

...

Edited, because I am occasionally an idiot.

edited 8th Dec '10 3:59:32 PM by Maridee

FFFFFFF-

Alicorn,take a bow - you're bloody terrifying.