Murder the Maniac

(OK, since my Blood Reserve didn't get filled, I'm guessing something interrupted my drinking... OOC: it was the ARBITRARY DAMAGE LIMITER - cough cough, sorry... getting back in character now...)

Forgetting to drink the Maniac's blood, I distractedly observe as the loose eyeball takes the damage of Hydraloonie's boot instead. So, the Maniac can't be damaged as long as that eye is still rolling around? Dang, I'll have to postpone my drink. I holler, "All right, everyone who isn't looting the Maniac or helping me keep him knocked out, GET THAT EYE!!!"

With that, I re-bite the Maniac and inject a second dose of sedatives through my fangs. In case this isn't obvious, I'm using this stuff faster than I can make it...

edited 28th Feb '18 4:21:29 PM by Miss_Desperado

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

I travel back in time to kill the eye before i stomp on the maniac. If i don't kill the eyeball the first time, I keep doing it til the eye dies (for real)

Progress has it's stepping stones.

Forgetting to drink the Maniac's blood, I distractedly observe... Owww, now I have a temporal backlash headache from watching Hydraloonie... uh, was I going to say something? I bite my own tongue and empty my entire reserve of painkillers into it. Until those fang-glands refill, my Vampire Bites Suck.

With that, I re-bite the Maniac and inject a second dose of sedatives through my fangs. In case this isn't obvious, I'm using this stuff faster than I can make it...

edited 28th Feb '18 4:27:03 PM by Miss_Desperado

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

I look down at what remains of my body. Remains seems to be the keyword there. Maybe I should throw some heavy quotes around ""body"" too. It's, uh... not looking good.

I start trying to gather up my corpse, fail, and give up, posses the nearest fan from my previous venture and use his body to gather all my blood, organs and bones into a bucket. I have him put the bucket down, have him transfer all his money to my bank account and drop his body in a volcano.

Welp. I guess this is what it's come down to: My ""body in the bucket"", some cash and my eternal soul... my eternal soul... that I currently owe to AC...

shit

Between omegaPsi's blood trail and Yet Another Guy's exploded body, there's enough blood spilled on the ground — where it's too late to drink it — to automatically switch my sight to Vein-o-Vision. The salty iron scent of blood is thick in the air, but I'm not hungry enough to lose control to a feeding frenzy.

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

"Uh, yes. I'm your new daddy. What's your name, my daughter?"

Update XX (20) - List of Titles: Many appendaged God...

Ruler of the Mindless, Master of Edge(d weapons), Darker Messiah, Part-time Anti-Christ, Duke of the seventh circle, God Emperor of the Sunken Realm, Patron Saint to the Eyeless, Third of the Goblin Kings, Shogun of the Dishonorable, Monarch of the Painted Lands, Ύγε νερδ, Key to the Primal Chaos, Guardian of the Sleepless, Father of Roaches, Progenitor of the End, Harbinger of Flames, Feeler of the Bern, Offspring of Giants, Lord of Pride, Child of the Eldritch, The First Warlock, Breaker of Spirits, King of the Accursed, Sower of Nightmares, Reaper of Fear, Commander of the Abyssal Legions, The Silencer, Heir of Lies, Father of Truth, Oppressor of many, Liberator of more, Plane-roamer, Nemesis of The Righteous, Deicidal Maniac, Origin of Logic, Spawn of Darkness, The Eighth Deadly Sin, Horseman of Death, The Final Tormentor, True Pandemonium, Drinker of the Void, Emptiness Incarnate, Conqueror of the Nth dimension, Lucifer’s role model, The Psychopath’s Muse, Inventor of Terror, actor, musician, activist.

---

You dig further, this time finding one Mysterious Key! Engraved on the key are four symbols, one corresponding to each suit in a game of cards. It's a lot larger than a normal key, about ten times so. Additionally, as if to add insult to injury, the key itself is made of a quite heavy metal, meaning that you have to hold it with both of your hands to prevent it from dropping on the ground. You better not forget that you have it, it's probably gonna be useful sometime later.

Unfortunately for you, the Battlefield is located on 13th AVE as mentioned multiple times above. If you haven't noticed, it has the number 13 in it. Not only that, but it's also located in Manhattan in real life. Manhattan is in New York. New Yorkers and Brooklyners are known for their accent. You know who else has a New York accent? That's right, Frank Reynolds, a character in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia played by Danny De Vito. Danny De Vito is also known as the Trash Man. New York and the U.S.A. in general is known for having a lot of trash. Coincidence? Yes, in fact, it is a coincidence, because saying it isn't a coincidence is stupid.

Unit 13 takes 13 damage! Pretty unlucky, eh? "WHAT? THAT... THAT MAKES NO SENSE!! YOU KNOW WHAT?! ENOUGH OF THIS!" Unit 13 yells at you and Spalthos, preparing a devastating attack. In one turn, Spalthos will definitely be doomed, so you have to try and do something to protect him even more.

The Brainiac sends you yet another transmission, this time in a much more urgent voice than before. "H-hello?! AC! Yes, good, it worked! Okay, this is surprising, even to me, but it seems that I can only get a clear connection to you through my dimension. I don't know what this means, but I can just feel that dimension enough to see it very slightly, and yes, I have attempted it in the Maniac's realm, and it doesn't seem to work. Perhaps there's some sort of distance between dimensions? Some are closer than others? ...Hm. That wouldn't make a lot of sense, though. Oh well. I will contact you later!" he tells you, his voice clearer now that he can get a stable transmission in.

"NO! I THOUGHT I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!!! SO... JUST... SHUT UP!!!" she yells, running at you at full speed, preparing to tear you apart, raising her hatchet up and preparing to lower it into your face. However, at the last moment, something clicks in her head and she stops right in time to spare you. "Heh... hehahehahehaheheh...?! D-d-did you just say that...? Heh... Hahahahah!" she appears to be blushing greatly, and takes a moment to breathe in and breathe out to stop the laughing. "S-sorry... I just... Uhm... Got sorta nervous..." she giggles, taking a second or two to process what just occurred. "You? Want to go out with me? I've... never been asked out before... I was pretty keen on killing you, actually, b-but I mean, this really nice too! Don't get me wrong! Sigh... You know, why not? I don't usually date my enemies- Well, I don't usually date anyone, but... I think I can make an exception this time...? Yeah. Why not! Why not?" she says, quieter than usual, grinning widely. She snaps her fingers, and a table with two chairs appears before both of you. "So... uhm... Ask me anything, I guess!" she awkwardly tells you.

"   Flight it is, then!   " the Devil grins, and you suddenly feel excruciating pain. "   Oh, don't worry, uhm, it's only temporary!   " he reassures you, and fortunately, he wasn't lying. In about half a minute, you soar a centimeter off the ground, and continue levitating! In return, the Devil takes the Maniac's soul. "   Oh, and thanks for actually doing a deal with me. Here's a coupon! Next time, you can get one power for the price of two. I know, it's a great deal!   " he laughs, vanishing into the ground. Well. That just happened.

Unfortunately, you can't sap blood while injecting sedatives into the Maniac. And it seems he's gonna wake up any second now, he seems to be twisting and turning in his sleep, so you're gonna need some other trick to keep him down next time. This seems to work for now, though. The Maniac is knocked out for one more turn!

You travel back in time - and it fortunately works - damaging the eye again and again through time shenanigans! Eventually, the eye just explodes, allowing you travel back into the present. However, while the Maniac is still knocked out and the eye is dead, it seems you still didn't stomp on him, and his health remains the same. Weird, isn't it? It seems like his health bar is unaffected by changes in the timeline, and sort of exists as a constant outside of them. Sort of like players don't really get their actions affected by time travel either because it isn't true time travel, but just a watered down version of it. Nevertheless, at least you killed the eye, so you can stomp on the Maniac safely now. Well, if nothing gets in your way, that is.

I'll just assume that the last portion was supposed to be in either one of your posts and you forgot to delete it from either here or there after you moved it, thus creating two of the same thing. It sort of messed me up for a minute, I thought I was going insane, hah.

Anyway, I guess you do that, then. No point in narrating it, it's basically going to be the same thing you said in your post but phrased differently.

Souls aren't eternal, pal, you can get more of them! Well, uhm, maybe...? I'm not sure about your current predicament. Are you, like, a spare soul? Or a ghost? Is that different from a soul? Are you a ghost with a soul? Do you need a body to have a soul? Do bodies have both souls and ghosts? And do both actually exist in bodies or just start existing when they're about to be modified, whether it be getting sucked out or the like, to make it easier for everyone to grasp? Because honestly, it's seeming like it's all of these things and none at the same time, and of all people, I should know which one it is.

Anyway, at least you can rejoice knowing that you can possess people now! Besides, you haven't tried hitting anyone - maybe it'll actually work? Who knows how this fucking universe works.

Obviously, Vein-O-Vision isn't complete without having a very keen sense of smell that tracks blood. Using it, you can clearly feel the scent of omegaPsi through the blood on the floor, meaning that he's still somewhere in 13th AVE! That bastard, he could be hiding anywhere! Due to the ever-shifting nature of the Battlefield, its nigh impossible to actually find him by looking for him, but there's always another way. Mmm... His blood is just so fresh and juicy!

"Oh, that's wonderful!" she smiles, putting her hands behind her back and hopping up and down. "My name is a secret, you know? My old daddy told me not to tell it to anybody! But I think I could tell it to you! You seem like you're a nice person, Mr. Dungkaka!" she giggles, as you lean in to hear her say it. "I want to tell you that..." she begins, and you lean in even closer as she curls her hand over your ear. "You're dead, bitch!" she laughs uncontrollably, pulling out something from behind her back and shoving it straight in your nether region. Before you have time to react, you realize that it's a 1000 degree knife, and you're currently on the other end of its never-ending fiery fury. Of course, you don't actually get hurt, but she sort of thinks you are. It still hurts a lot.

---

Five souls in total! Current soul outliers: Hydraloonie (0), Yet Another Guy (0), Tales of Under(-1), Dungkaka 1801 (-2). Everyone else has 1. Souls are currently being used for killing purposes.

The Maniac is currently knocked out for one more turn! Try to keep him down to acquire more loot or damage him. It gets increasingly harder to keep him down for longer.

It seems that rat, omegaPsi, is hiding somewhere in the Battlefield! You could do that, or attempt to damage the Maniac. I can't promise you'll land a hit, but the eye is gone and he's knocked out, which should make it easier to hit him.

---

The Good-ish Guys (emphasis on "ish")

The Fucking, PHD (in kicking ass): ??? HP. Eldritch abomination.

The Brainiac: 130/150 HP. Un-humiliated.

Spalthos: 2.7/12 HP. FLEX TAPE'd! Criminal! Insane defense and strength.

Miss_Desperado: 20/20 HP. 88/100 Blood Reserve.

The Maniac's Cast of Outcasts

Rolling Eye: DEAD!.

Unit 13: 37/50 HP. Tentatively on the Maniac's side, but mostly against Spalthos.

The Maniac: 137/150 HP. Missing both hands and both eyes! Out cold.

Cross-Dimensional Rift (Don't mess with this part if you aren't alphaChi)

alphaChi: 3/20 HP. Stuck in a not-so-horrible place! On a date with ???.

???: ??? HP. On a date with alphaChi.

edited 20th Jun '18 9:35:32 AM by TrickleJest

   Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.   

"i shall dub you the key of suites." i then use said heavy key to attack the maniac, because i don't want him to have the advantage next update when i'm in mid-looting.

Here's a Godmodder. Please Kill him before he fucks up everything. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=15527074470A62989200

I warp space to reach into spalthos' bowl of defence and protection, and attach a small device. Then, I go play another game. I grab a magical fishing rod and cast a bunch of cantrips at a wall, turning it into a very smooth, crack-free wall made entirely of cooked green been paste. I then swim down a river, and eventually find a lake, before casting my line. I reeeeel in the line, with my fishing ability magically boosted by 10% per cantrip earlier, which is good, because I, well, kinda suck at fishing... but hey, its buffed to high purgatorys, so I still catch some weird cross between a shark, an eel, and a pufferfish, which I then stick another device to. Lastly, I build a veeeeery special timer. as soon Unit 13 Starts their action, the timer finishes, by shear not-coincidence-because-nothing-is-ever-a-coincidence, And activates the device, swapping the locations of spalthos and the pufferarkeel, meaning the attack on spalthos fails, and unit 13 may or may not be under attack by a pufferarkeel. which may or may not be under a magical equivalent of steroids which technically aren't steroids.

edited 3rd Mar '18 11:36:47 AM by Steffan

I travel back in time and bring the maniac to the dinosaur era, but i get stuck there so i time travel forward and bring everyone else (including what remains of the rolling eye) their

Progress has it's stepping stones.

I growl, "Hydraloonie, stop messing with time! I had plans to track down omegaPsi!"

And yet, despite having said that, omegaPsi's blood trail is nowhere near as attention-grabbing as the Maniac's close proximity and audible heartbeat. This time I press my fingers into the major blood vessels on either side of the Maniac's windpipe, squeezing the vessels (but not the windpipe) shut in a modified sleeper hold. Still in Vein-o-Vision, I stare mesmerized at the disrupted blood flow, and absentmindedly use my other hand to bring his wrist to my fangs for a drink... (my bite is probably gonna be sloppy, I'm not used to drinking from wrists)

(OOC: editing for immersive details)

edited 2nd Mar '18 9:09:04 PM by Miss_Desperado

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

i tuck the key of suites into my hat and look at Hydroloonie "kid, Leave the time travel to the professionals. also don't bring us along with you."

Here's a Godmodder. Please Kill him before he fucks up everything. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=15527074470A62989200

I realize my mistake and bring everyone back with me (To 2018), and a T-rex, yeah i'm bringing back a t-rex too. Maybe i'll get some(4 to be precise) Gigantoraptors as well

edited 2nd Mar '18 8:01:47 PM by Hydraloonie

Progress has it's stepping stones.

I need a body, and fast! I possess the nearest wearer of any merch that belongs to me. This should buy me some time to get another soul to pay off my debts.

I have my host (whomst I shall name AC for now, for no particular reason) pick up my bucket. i also have him walk up to the Maniac and loot him for some loot.

Usually, parading a bucketful of blood and bits of body in front of a vampire is asking for trouble, but with the Maniac's wrist still in my mouth, Yet Another Guy is safe from having his bucket raided this time.

edited 3rd Mar '18 10:18:34 PM by Miss_Desperado

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

I fly to the local library and look for old books about the occult so I can teach myself magic.

Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.

"Uhm, I'm not really sure what to ask, I barely even know you! I mean from what i've seen, you like killing your enemies and sleeping, but i'm sure you're more than that. I want to know what's beneath the surface, i want to know the real you! I want to know everything about you! How did you become who you are now, what are your future goals? Tell me anything you want!"

In the meantime i'll conjure up a waiter to bring us the menu.

I prepare the Holy Hand Grenade of Antimony. I count, one, two, three, and then proceed to throw it at The Maniac.

"DIO is the ultimate being! The being of the future! Dare you not to rival me!"

Update XXI (21) - Holy Grenade

I still can't believe Python, the programming language, is named after Monty Python, and not a literal snake.

---

The Key of Suites is charged full-speed at the Maniac- However, instead of clobbering him over the head, the key slips inside of him! The Maniac glows a bright orange color, before his chest violently rips open, a piece of paper emerging from it and fluttering straight into your confused, yet excited, hands. Before doing anything, the paper itself kindly asks you to read it out loud to the rest of the players, so that is what you shall do.

"Hey there! It seems that, whoever you are, you have managed to find a Key of Suites! Let me tell you what it is. These special keys, designed by yours truly, the Maniac, have the peculiar ability to open anything! Yes, anything, even things that could normally not be opened, such as rocks, trees, even living beings! Of course, you know that last part, as you have already used it to open me. Obviously, the keys will be consumed upon usage, because, come on, how else am I going to sell them? Luckily enough, there will be more to come by... uh... maybe. Oh, and before this message self-explodes, I have to tell you that I'm impressed that you've managed to knock me out! Yeah, you've heard me, I know I'm knocked out. There's just no other way you could've actually opened me, the key is heavy enough for me to avoid it, and if I were dead, which I don't believe I even can be, it simply wouldn't work. And by the way, this entire paper was rigged. It's heat-sensitive, so I already know that you're holding it, and I've already triggered a self-protection system to guard me while I get up. Good luck!"

Suddenly, before your very eyes, the paper erupts into ashes. A countdown starts, ready to cover the Maniac in some sort of protection.

I'll allow it! Unit 13 readies yet another attack, this time shooting what seems to be a gaseous version of the grease out of his fingers. "AND NOW, PERISH, FOUL BEAST!!!" he yells, as the deadly gas flies out. However, right as it is about hit Spalthos, a Puffararkeel takes its place, whatever that is. The gas barely damages it, as it is designed to only hit drug-abusers and not bystanders. However, it still annoys the creature slightly, causing it to lash out at Unit 13 and deal 10 damage before it is dealt with. "NGHH... GRHHHH... I... I GIVE UP!" Unit 13 yells out, stomping away. "'YOU WIN THIS TIME, CREATURE OF THE SEAS! BUT I WILL BE BACK! YOU SEE, MY NAME IS UNIT 13, SO THERE ARE OBVIOUSLY AT LEAST TWELVE MORE POWERFUL VERSIONS OF ME! HAH! YEAH! I'M DEFINITELY NOT BLUFFING!" he shouts at Spalthos, entering a wormhole back into the government facility that it emerged from. Welp. That just happened.

I know I'm being an annoying cunt, but I sorta feel like this is my job now, after trying to teach a player in my last game how to properly use articles. No, this isn't an insult to your intelligence, but rather an opportunity to learn more, if you will? Anyway, it's simple, repeat after me: There means "in a position/place, to a position/place, or to a position/place". Such as, for example, "we want to go over there". Their means "relating to people or things that were previously mentioned", such as "Bob and Alice have many socks. These socks are their socks." Lastly, they're is very easy, it means "they are", so for example, "Bob and Alice are fun. They're also nice." I don't blame you for this, to be honest, many people mix them up, and it's probably just a mistake because you were typing too quickly, but it's still pretty simple.

Anyway, you do that, bringing everyone to the era of the dinosaurs!

Well, you drink the Maniac's blood! Fair enough. Your blood reserve is filled up, yet, it doesn't seem like he's taking any damage from it.

Trickle Jest fondly regards this post.

You bring everyone back, I guess. With you are four gigantoraptors and one T-Rex! To be honest, dinosaurs would seem really cool, but compared to eldritch abominations, reality-bending Maniacs and a blob-fish on steroids they can't help but feel sorta jealous. Oh well. Maybe they'll be reborn as dragons in their next lives.

Heeeeey, are you doing something sneaky? I like sneaky!

Anyway, you loot the Maniac, finding one glass shard. The shard whispers something enigmatic to you, which you can only make out to be "This is the key. 1Q. QA. AZ. Z1. Don't forget me." before it jumps up into your host's forehead, boring itself into the skull and then the brain. Somehow, no blood was spilled.

Trickle Jest spookily regards this post.

You fly to the only library on 13th AVE, seeing as the game prevents you from going elsewhere. Unsurprisingly, it's owned by the Maniac. Hey, at least it has some books! Oh. Oh wait. ...Sigh. Of course. They're all auto-biographies of the Maniac. Would you like to read a chapter anyway? They all have stupid names anyway. Choose one, I guess, and I'll type it up for you next update.

Chapter I: Birth of the Future Lord of the Universe. Chapter II: Extraordinary Abilities; Extraordinary Opportunities! Chapter III: The School of the Ones Like Me... Chapter IV: But None of Them Were Truly as Powerful. Chapter V: I'm Popular with the Popular Kids! Chapter VI: Betrayal. Bloodshed. Basically a Bunch of Bullshit. Chapter VII: Tiresome. Chapter VIII: Finally, They Know I'm the True Lord of this World! Chapter VIIII: i dont know how roman numerals work Chapter X: Murder the Maniac!

"Oh. Uhm. Nobody has asked me questions like that before! Haha, oh wow, it's a little surprising. Well, actually, there's a lot of things I like! There's. Errrr. Heheh. Excuse me for a moment, I... I have to use the... toi-....... bathroom....?" she laughs awkwardly, pouncing up and running off into a bathroom that she has just created. Welp. That didn't go well. The Fucking approaches you, being the extra-dimensional waiter that he is, and gives you the menu. It consists of only one dish, "special tentacles in even more special sauce". Can this get any worse?

Can't argue with that. One damage!

---

Five souls in total! Current soul outliers: Hydraloonie (0), Yet Another Guy (0), Tales of Under(-1), Dungkaka 1801 (-2). Everyone else has 1. Souls are currently being used for killing purposes.

As the countdown ticks down, the Maniac's hair grows at an alarming speed. A coat consisting fully of hair covers the Maniac as he rises up into the skies! Luckily, he's still knocked out, but his hair seemed to have grown a mind of its own! Damn, when will you ever get to hit him?!

---

The Good-ish Guys (emphasis on "ish")

The Fucking, PHD (in kicking ass): ??? HP. Extra-dimensional! Appears anywhere, I guess.

The Brainiac: 130/150 HP. Un-humiliated.

Spalthos: 2.7/12 HP. FLEX TAPE'd! Criminal! Insane defense and strength.

Miss_Desperado: 20/20 HP. 100/100 Blood Reserve.

Horde of Dinosaurs: 15/15 HP x5. That makes 75 HP in total, by the way.

The Maniac's Cast of Outcasts

Unit 13: GONE?

Hair Suit: 1,000,000/1,000,000 HP. The real ultimate defense! Uhm... Wait, what?!

The Maniac: 136/150 HP. Missing both hands and both eyes! Covered in his own hair. Yikes.

Cross-Dimensional Rift (Don't mess with this part if you aren't alphaChi)

alphaChi: 3/20 HP. Stuck in a not-so-horrible place! On a date with ???.

???: ??? HP. On a date with alphaChi.

edited 20th Jun '18 9:36:33 AM by TrickleJest

   Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.   

"NGHH... GRHHHH... I... I GIVE UP!" Unit 13 yells out, stomping away. "'YOU WIN THIS TIME, CREATURE OF THE SEAS! BUT I WILL BE BACK! YOU SEE, MY NAME IS UNIT 13, SO THERE ARE OBVIOUSLY AT LEAST TWELVE MORE POWERFUL VERSIONS OF ME! HAH! YEAH! I'M DEFINITELY NOT BLUFFING!"' Hah, I spot your bluff! and not just because of how suspiciously specific the denial is! If your name is unit 13, you are the 13th unit. if units are not of equal strength, unit number one would be the prototype, 2 would be stronger, etcetra. therefor, Unit 13 was likely the strongest unit in the corps. Regardless. First, I give Spalthos another steroid (he's already been hunted for the ones earlier, why not keep going), to increase his health regeneration. Secondly, I take this matter to court. I don't know this country this is, but since the one google choose as an example was the US, I shall argue from the perspective of the US court system. firstly, this is what steroids are: <spoiler>What are steroids? Steroids are drugs that mimic certain natural hormones in the body that regulate and control how the body works and develops. There are two main groups of natural steroids - anabolic steroids and corticosteroids. It is the anabolic steroids that tend to be misused, mainly because they are similar to the male hormone testosterone and they can improve endurance and performance and stimulate muscle growth.

Some people take the anabolic steroids to help build muscles or to try and look more ‘manly’. Other people take them to improve how they perform at sports, such as sprinting and cycling.

The key effects of anabolic steroids include:

They may help sports players train harder and longer. If taken alongside a strenuous exercise regime, they may help with faster recovery times and with the building up of muscle mass. They can make some users feel paranoid, irritable, aggressive or even violent, and they can cause dramatic mood swings. They can sometimes cause unwanted changes in appearance. </spoiler> The following is how the law applies to them: <strong>Anabolic steroids are Class C drugs to be sold only by pharmacists with a doctor's prescription. It's legal to possess or import steroids as long as they're for personal use. Importation or exportation of steroids for personal use can only be carried out in person. Importation or exportation of steroids for personal use using postal, courier or freight services is illegal. Possession or importing with intent to supply (which includes giving them to friends) is illegal and could lead to 14 years in prison and an unlimited fine.</strong> Many sporting organisations have banned the use of certain steroids. These organisations carry out tests for the banned steroids. If someone tests positive they can be disqualified from competing for certain periods of time, or even banned for life. (how does bolds?) I didn't buy the steroids; I conjured them from a chunk of iron via Equivalent Exchange modified magic. so, It's fine for me to not have interacted with a pharmacist. I did not create them for the intent of supplying for others- I was planning to use them in the distant future if I was ever mortally wounded. when I created spalthos, it was unplanned, and I knew I wanted to protect him. before the thought had finished being thought I'd already fed him the steroids! it was too late. however, I at no point had both intent and possession. Oh, and just now, I believe saving someone's life is more important then avoiding steroid use, and spalthos has a mere 2.7/12 HP! he could get hit by a stray rock and die at any minute. his long term physical it is not worth the risk of death now.

I travel back in time, get some armour. And i make the dinosaurs wear it.

Progress has it's stepping stones.

I raise a Fascinating Eyebrow at the glass shard jumping into the ghost-possessed person's forehead, then I hear Def Revenge's countdown on the Holy Hand Grenade of Antimony. Oh, Crap! More Friendly Fire! Despite scrambling off my perch on the Maniac's chest and sprinting for cover, I'm not quite out of range when the Holy Hand Grenade explodes, so it knocks me down in a Prat Fall. Fortunately, since holiness is a Restraining Bolt instead of a damaging force in my case, instead of snarling and writhing in rage and agony, I cheerily wave at Def Revenge and call, "I'm Okay!"

Now, please excuse me while I wait out the excessive goody-two-shoes-ness that's preventing me from brainstorming my next battle move...

edited 5th Mar '18 3:33:24 PM by Miss_Desperado

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

I choose to read chapter 5.

Progress has it's stepping stones.

as the paper disintegrates in my hands, i look the maniacs knocked out body. "FUCK!" i then try to set up an attack that will strike the maniac after the protection goes away.

Here's a Godmodder. Please Kill him before he fucks up everything. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=15527074470A62989200

I miss my chance to jump back on and ride the Maniac's sudden levitation. Also, some of my gambits have been thrown in disarray - oh well, plans don't usually survive contact with the enemy anyway. I glare up at the hairy Maniac as I concoct an Indy Ploy. Did he just spontaneously mutate into a half-mouse? Following this wild guess, I transform into a bat, pass the Maniac in gaining altitude, and drop the half-mouse traps onto him. Whether my guess is right or wrong, at least this method is more likely to get the traps on him than my original plan of trying to trick him into stepping on them would have been.

From the same cartoon-hyperspace pocket where I was keeping the half-mouse traps and my own Shapeshifter Baggage flesh, I pull out a stray anvil and drop that on the Maniac for good measure.

My echolocation draws my attention to the wild dinosaurs Right Behind Me as well as Hydraloonie's insane attempts to put armor on wild dinosaurs. Faced with this emergency, and considering how much hair is in the way now, I cancel my plan to strangle the Maniac. I return to the ground and revert to human shape just in time to see Hydraloonie suddenly run off to the library.

Ancient ancestral instincts cause me to Freeze as I evaluate how much attention the dinosaurs are paying to me. Based on that, I gotta decide whether to go to Fight or Flight.

edited 5th Mar '18 4:09:01 PM by Miss_Desperado

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.