Murder the Maniac

alphaChi Since: Dec, 2017

#101: Feb 10th 2018 at 11:09:51 AM

i thought you were supposed to be... Smart? well... here we are... i know you tore up all your plans, but i assumed you didn't tear up your brain. anyways, don't do dumb things like attacking the main villain of the goddamn universe, unless i ask you too. i realise you're eager to kill the bastard, and really, so am i, but the universe literally revolves around him. haven't you noticed that he seems to spin around very slowly? that's the universe revolving while he's stationary.

here take a healing potion which i always had, you can't prove otherwise.

this is the plan: use your magic fucking powers to break the cage my double is kept in, idk how. don't kill him though. leave the maniac to me and the other lads for now. meanwhile ILL KILL THAT FUCKING HAND. i don't even remember why i have this grudge but i have it and THAT HAND IS MINE ALONE TO KILL.

I use my cool and good powers to freeze the hand i'll then smack it with a baseballl bat repeatedly until it's powdered. once that happens i snort up the handpowder to hopefully get some of the maniacs essence.

also that orb thing i placed in elseworld changes into a giant statue of my crushing all of the players under my foot. it's functions remain the same.

YetAnotherGuy oracle of... from south-east of the middle of nowhere Since: Feb, 2018 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA

oracle of...

#102: Feb 12th 2018 at 8:09:06 AM

thump goes the random red-wood door sitting alone on the battlefield

thump thump thump, it goes

bleat goes the goatcat as it's slammed against the door

who thought that was a good idea? whomst the f[redacted]th knows

KABLAM goes the f[redacted]ing door as it fucking explodes

catgoat guts and door splinters fly everywhere as the person responsible for smashing the poor sin against nature against the wooden anatopism slides across the battlefield. He stops, eventually, and turns to face the fourth wall. He points right at Trickle and starts screeching at him in a mysterious language (translated for convenience).

"HAH! You thought you could get rid of me that easily? What, one death chamber, infinite doors, eldritch horrors, catgoats and somehow I'm supposed to be stopped by that? You know me, Trickle. You know it takes more then that to stop me."

He then proceeds to stumble over to the Maniac and attempt to murder him an a manner destined to fail due to the lack of any effort or creativity whatsoever. We all have a good time laughing at the continuation of the ever-classic running joke. The players, the entities, the dictators, even the maniac all start laughing uncontrollably, providing the perfect opening for someone to murder the Maniac. So I do that.

edited 12th Feb '18 8:10:29 AM by YetAnotherGuy

TrickleJest Merry Meritocrat from the middle of somewhere Since: Jul, 2017 Relationship Status: Mu

Merry Meritocrat

#103: Feb 13th 2018 at 10:49:26 AM

Update XV (15) - Very Very Very Very Mildly Popular

And the "cool thing" is still not out. Wheeee.

We have officially reached over a hundred posts! This means that this game is very very very very mildly popular. Expect something cool related to the game coming out soon. And if you know me, you'll know that "soon" could mean anywhere between "tomorrow" and "never". Probably leaning towards the latter.

Talesof Under: I ask if we get last resort points like in DLE.

DLE? What's DLE?

Steffan: I tell the brainiac that - my autocorrect says I'm spelling his name wrong and I'm to lazy to check how to spell it so scratch that instead of talking to the brainiac I use my last resort point that probably doesn't exist to create a blobfish. a blobfish with a dojo. and a shield. and the ability to breath air. and I name him spalthos. and we will be friends forever. note that I don't actually use a lasRsrtPnt on it. because those probably don't exist.

For 0.000005 seconds, the exact moment you finished your post, Last Resort Points started to exist and quickly vanished back to the abyss. Unfortunately, since you indicated that you're not using said point, even if it exists, you don't actually get to use it and it disappears before you can do anything, rendering your post null and void.

Hydraloonie: I steal Not The Maniac 666's soul and use it to heal the brainiac

Woah. That was sudden.

Not The Maniac 666: wait why would you do that, stop please i was just trying to help you and teach you how the game works stop stop i don't want to get my soul sucked please don't-

After a minute of sucking sounds, Not The Maniac 666's soul is sucked and in your possession! Turns out he was really not the Maniac, and just some random guy who liked to explain how the game works to people. Unfortunately, since he isn't an actual player, his soul isn't an actual soul and can't be used to achieve things. You basically just have a semi-useless soul on your hands now. Maybe you can get creative and try to use it for something, although it probably can't do anything cool.

alphaChi: i thought you were supposed to be... Smart? well... here we are... i know you tore up all your plans, but i assumed you didn't tear up your brain. anyways, don't do dumb things like attacking the main villain of the goddamn universe, unless i ask you too. i realise you're eager to kill the bastard, and really, so am i, but the universe literally revolves around him. haven't you noticed that he seems to spin around very slowly? that's the universe revolving while he's stationary. here take a healing potion which i always had, you can't prove otherwise. this is the plan: use your magic fucking powers to break the cage my double is kept in, idk how. don't kill him though. leave the maniac to me and the other lads for now. meanwhile ILL KILL THAT FUCKING HAND. i don't even remember why i have this grudge but i have it and THAT HAND IS MINE ALONE TO KILL. I use my cool and good powers to freeze the hand i'll then smack it with a baseballl bat repeatedly until it's powdered. once that happens i snort up the handpowder to hopefully get some of the maniacs essence. also that orb thing i placed in elseworld changes into a giant statue of my crushing all of the players under my foot. it's functions remain the same.

"Uh. Sure." the Brainiac nods, trying to get up, before he realizes the Maniac is still keeping his knife-hand to the Brainiac's throat. "You will release me." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "No." the Brainiac says. "Yes." the Maniac says. "Hah! You said yes! Now you have to release me!" the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "Yes." the Brainiac says. "No." the Maniac says. "No." the Brainiac says. "Yes." the Maniac says. "Hah! You said yes! Now you have to release me!" the Brainiac says. "Okay." the Maniac says.

Using his powers of evolution, the Brainiac kicks omegaPsi's cage with his human legs, opening it. "Wait, I could've done that the whole time. Why the fuck didn't I try that." omegaPsi exclaims, walking out of the cage. "Wait a second. You can't go anywhere. You're being taken hostage." the Brainiac yells, grabbing omegaPsi, who just sort of seems to be used to this thing at this point.

In other news, you crush up the Maniac's hand and turn it into dust, sniffing it. It doesn't really... seem to have the Maniac's essence in it. Odd, isn't it? Something's definitely off here. Haven't you noticed that he only seems to have taken nine damage despite not having any arms and missing an eye? Hm...

Yet Another Guy: thump goes the random red-wood door sitting alone on the battlefield thump thump thump, it goes bleat goes the goatcat as it's slammed against the door who thought that was a good idea? whomst the f[redacted]th knows KABLAM goes the f[redacted]ing door as it fucking explodes catgoat guts and door splinters fly everywhere as the person responsible for smashing the poor sin against nature against the wooden anatopism slides across the battlefield. He stops, eventually, and turns to face the fourth wall. He points right at Trickle and starts screeching at him in a mysterious language (translated for convenience). "HAH! You thought you could get rid of me that easily? What, one death chamber, infinite doors, eldritch horrors, catgoats and somehow I'm supposed to be stopped by that? You know me, Trickle. You know it takes more then that to stop me." He then proceeds to stumble over to the Maniac and attempt to murder him an a manner destined to fail due to the lack of any effort or creativity whatsoever. We all have a good time laughing at the continuation of the ever-classic running joke. The players, the entities, the dictators, even the maniac all start laughing uncontrollably, providing the perfect opening for someone to murder the Maniac. So I do that.

Welcome to Destroy Lord English 2! Wait, shit, I forgot that I don't know what DLE is. *Whistles nonchalantly.*

Congratulations, you have managed to hit the Maniac and deal one damage! One damage is still a lot, but I'm sure you know that. The second of the Maniac's eyes falls out, rolling on the ground. This makes ten points of damage, over a hundred posts, and two months of my life gone!

Five souls in total! Current soul outliers: Tales of Under(-1), Dungkaka 1801 (-1), alphaChi (-2). Everyone else has 1. Souls are currently being used for killing purposes.

Expect something cool "soon". Also, voting is now mandatory. If you don't vote, you get soul sucked. Is this a bluff? Yeah. But vote anyway, you fucking dummies.

Candidates

The Maniac - 0 Votes - Vote for him if you want to get a Stand! Yes, the one from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. He's giving off free Stands. It's probably a scam. It's actually just a lemonade stand, most likely. Maybe you don't want him to become the president, because even if being a Stand user is cool and all, the game will probably be ten times harder. Then again, it's probably just rigged in his favor anyway.

Singular Spades - 0 Votes - Vote for him if you like Reptilians! Who doesn't? They control Earth anyway, not like it makes a huge difference, just sorta... makes it more official. But who doesn't like Reptilians, right?

alphaChi - 3 Votes - In his own words - "i will also offer you souls, but instead of only one i will offer you the amount of souls KJU ha divided by the number of players, with the remainder going to my government to pay for all expenses." Vote for him if you want. Uhm. Shit to go up to 11. I don't know in what department. Shenanigans, probably.

The Good-ish Guys (emphasis on "ish")

Jake from Pizza Hutt: FU/CK HP. Probably not Harry Potter. Pseudo-fucked off from the Battlefield!

The Fucking, PHD (in kicking ass): ??? HP. Eldritch abomination. ~n3rd_d4sh, are you alive?

alphaChi: 9/20 HP. Totally bewildered. Empowered by the covenant! Maybe probably sorta has some other powers.

The Brainiac: 130/150 HP. Un-humiliated.

omegaPsi: 20/20 HP. Captured by the Brainiac.

The Maniac's Cast of Outcasts

Sentient Hand: DEAD!

Rolling Eye: 10/10 HP. Maniac's eye. Always watching!

The Maniac: 140/150 HP. Missing both hands and both eyes!

edited 20th Jun '18 9:28:34 AM by TrickleJest

Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.

alphaChi Since: Dec, 2017

#104: Feb 13th 2018 at 11:48:01 AM

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the foot has died. I'm sure this body part too is devoid of any mania at this point. nothing i can use. although the feeling that i'm feeling normal may be the drugs talking. hand is one hell of a drug. but if i really am sober and that's not justa hallucination, i feel one of two things will happen: either the maniac has planned this all along and is actually shedding himself of body parts to transcend his mortal coil and become god, or it's just kinda dumb and he'll regrow his body parts at some point for shits and giggles. i mean, this is the fever dream of some random dude in an insane asylum after all...

"What dude?" You ask? well i do not know either, and even if i did i wouldn't want to spoil anything for yall. maybe that dude is me, i do not seem sane at this point in time! maybe it's the new guy forever rambling about strange hybrid animals or something, i didn't bother to actually read his action, tbh. or maybe this is in the mind of some 13 y/o twat on the internet. but most likely this is just a stupid game on the internets and we are all the person in the asylum.

but back to the vision sphere, i stuff it in the maniacs eye socket again, hoping it will reabsorb its essence and then i stab it. over and over.

Back to important matters. i talked about the possibilities of meeting up with my alt self a while back. (1. omegaPsi will join me alongside with the brainiac and we'll become some kickass crime(fighting?) squad! 2. once me and my other half touch we will fuse and become much more powerful. a variation on this idea is that we'll annihilate eachother when we touch because anti-matter rules, but then we'll just be transformed into pure energy and i'll reform into a better fused version. 3. the last possibility is that the bastard won't join me, if that's the case i murder him and craft myself a doublesoul with his and my soul. ) so i'd like to know which option happens now thx.

Steffan Since: Feb, 2018

#105: Feb 13th 2018 at 2:39:35 PM

Ah-ah-ah. I said "note that I don't actually use a lasRsrtPnt on it. because those probably don't exist." Now, I'm sure you interpreted it as Last Resort Point, but lasRsrtPnt is a single word, no spaces, doesn't have any o's, is missing a t, missing a e, and missing an I. using a simpler algorithm, it becomes clear that lasRsrtPnt is entirely different from last resort point. and indeed, there is no reason whatsoever to believe [lasRsrtPnt]s exists, as no players had mentioned them, there aren't any English words involved, I've never heard of such a concept before. So since I didn't say I wasn't using a Last resort point, I did use the Last Resort Point during that minuscule fraction of a second it existed for. Good thing my actions occur instantaneously if not directly stated otherwise and I already know nobody interfered with the action since it already happened!

edited 13th Feb '18 2:40:20 PM by Steffan

n3rd_d4sh plant from Parts Unknown Since: Oct, 2014 Relationship Status: Gone fishin'

plant

#106: Feb 13th 2018 at 4:18:38 PM

Sorry it's been a while, just kind of busy in a Discord server and forgot about TV Tropes.

Regardless, the stage turns pitch black and I appear with a candlelit table and two chairs, as I tell the Murderer "Let's have a heart to heart talk." and offer him to take the other seat. The fucking would be our waiter.

edited 13th Feb '18 7:14:04 PM by n3rd_d4sh

" I'm the princess! Everyone has to do what I say!"

SingularSpades Since: Dec, 2017

#107: Feb 14th 2018 at 8:07:32 AM

The Reptilian shrugs and then votes for alphaChi. It really doesn't make a difference for who is in control of the puppet government, besides, free souls are free souls. The phrase Comrade Collar© is also now copyrighted belonging to the Reptilian World Government, expect them to show up soon.

ООК: Иьм фине, алсо привате мессагинг ехистс.

medievalParadox Just some guy from any device that can get onto the internet Since: Dec, 2017 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free

Just some guy

#108: Feb 14th 2018 at 5:20:11 PM

i drop into the area and look around, not really knowing what's going on only there are some people fighting and an election being held. i decide to vote for more shenanigans, or alphaChi, if we're talking about voting for a person.

Here's a Godmodder. Please Kill him before he fucks up everything. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=15527074470A62989200

YetAnotherGuy oracle of... from south-east of the middle of nowhere Since: Feb, 2018 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA

oracle of...

#109: Feb 16th 2018 at 1:16:57 PM

I take the no-longer-sentient hand, and jab all its finger's into the rolling eye one by one.

Hydraloonie Hydraloonie from The northwestern Krusty Burger Since: May, 2017 Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Hydraloonie

#110: Feb 16th 2018 at 4:00:15 PM

I bring back Not The Maniac 666 and say, go kill someone.

Progress has it's stepping stones.

TrickleJest Merry Meritocrat from the middle of somewhere Since: Jul, 2017 Relationship Status: Mu

Merry Meritocrat

#111: Feb 18th 2018 at 9:51:30 AM

Update XVI (16) - Avid Problem Sleuth Fans are Welcome Anytime

Wink wonk.

alphaChi: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A watching orb! i have one of them too! first they were in my eye sockets then in my hands then in my socks then in my sockets again! I want to stab it! Multiple times! Over and over and and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and and over. the foot has died. I'm sure this body part too is devoid of any mania at this point. nothing i can use. although the feeling that i'm feeling normal may be the drugs talking. hand is one hell of a drug. but if i really am sober and that's not justa hallucination, i feel one of two things will happen: either the maniac has planned this all along and is actually shedding himself of body parts to transcend his mortal coil and become god, or it's just kinda dumb and he'll regrow his body parts at some point for shits and giggles. i mean, this is the fever dream of some random dude in an insane asylum after all... "What dude?" You ask? well i do not know either, and even if i did i wouldn't want to spoil anything for yall. maybe that dude is me, i do not seem sane at this point in time! maybe it's the new guy forever rambling about strange hybrid animals or something, i didn't bother to actually read his action, tbh. or maybe this is in the mind of some 13 y/o twat on the internet. but most likely this is just a stupid game on the internets and we are all the person in the asylum. but back to the vision sphere, i stuff it in the maniacs eye socket again, hoping it will reabsorb its essence and then i stab it. over and over. Back to important matters. i talked about the possibilities of meeting up with my alt self a while back. (1. omegaPsi will join me alongside with the brainiac and we'll become some kickass crime(fighting?) squad! 2. once me and my other half touch we will fuse and become much more powerful. a variation on this idea is that we'll annihilate eachother when we touch because anti-matter rules, but then we'll just be transformed into pure energy and i'll reform into a better fused version. 3. the last possibility is that the bastard won't join me, if that's the case i murder him and craft myself a doublesoul with his and my soul. ) so i'd like to know which option happens now thx.

You attempt to grab the Maniac's eye, only that it slips away before you can! It seems to be coated with some sort of slimey liquid, preventing anyone from actually touching it. As well as that, unfortunately for you, the liquid protects it against any "status effects", and by that I mean that it can't be set on fire or frozen. It almost seems like it's pretty much built to work against your power-set! Also, don't underestimate my abilities to SUBVERT your EXPECTATIONS! Trust me, it's neither of the things you've mentioned, and it's practically impossible to guess because of how convoluted and bullshit-ey it is.

Anyway, you then decide to approach omegaPsi, analyzing him. After all, he got here somehow, so he must have some sort of ability. You decide to ask him how he got here. "Well, uhm, I signed this contract thing with the Brainiac. I just really wanted to get out of there no matter what it took, you know, he was making players rage-quit left and right and I was tired of it all. So, I signed it, and, and- I.... don't even remember. There was a flash, some sort of explosion, maybe, ugh... It's all a blur." he says, stuttering and pausing every few seconds. Wow, it's gonna be impossible to get anything out of him if he doesn't even remember anything. "Actually, I believe I may be able to help you with that," the Brainiac begins, "Of course, I have been keeping track of everyone, analyzing them and storing all of the information in my memory bank. As far as I know, he was always like this, having trouble recalling things and generally being confused. Unfortunately, when he successfully teleported to this dimension, you warped to my Battlefield, so I didn't exactly have a lot of time to assess the situation. I haven't observed him enough to come to a hypothesis either, but from what I can tell, he either suffers from a condition or... Hm. I don't want to limit myself to one possibility - of course, there's always the alternative that he's pretending - but I seriously doubt it. He doesn't seem like he's capable of it."

Steffan: Ah-ah-ah. I said "note that I don't actually use a lasRsrtPnt on it. because those probably don't exist." Now, I'm sure you interpreted it as Last Resort Point, but lasRsrtPnt is a single word, no spaces, doesn't have any o's, is missing a t, missing a e, and missing an I. using a simpler algorithm, it becomes clear that lasRsrtPnt is entirely different from last resort point. and indeed, there is no reason whatsoever to believe [lasRsrtPnt]s exists, as no players had mentioned them, there aren't any English words involved, I've never heard of such a concept before. So since I didn't say I wasn't using a Last resort point, I did use the Last Resort Point during that minuscule fraction of a second it existed for. Good thing my actions occur instantaneously if not directly stated otherwise and I already know nobody interfered with the action since it already happened!

I'll allow it! Spalthos the Blobfish is, uhm, summoned. Do what you want with it.

Sorry it's been a while, just kind of busy in a Discord server and forgot about TV Tropes. Regardless, the stage turns pitch black and I appear with a candlelit table and two chairs, as I tell the Murderer "Let's have a heart to heart talk." and offer him to take the other seat. The fucking would be our waiter.

It's all good, don't worry. Besides, if you're not interested, you can just say so and quit, I'm not gonna try to forcefully keep anyone here or anything. That's the Maniac's job.

Incredible art skills.

Singular Spades: The Reptilian shrugs and then votes for alphaChi. It really doesn't make a difference for who is in control of the puppet government, besides, free souls are free souls. The phrase Comrade Collar© is also now copyrighted belonging to the Reptilian World Government, expect them to show up soon. ООК: Иьм фине, алсо привате мессагинг ехистс.

Vote registered for alphaChi! I would draw a sketch of the ©mrade ©llar but I've already completed my daily- Err... weekly drawing above. Maybe next time, but you know how "maybe" my maybes are.

medievalParadox: i drop into the area and look around, not really knowing what's going on only there are some people fighting and an election being held. i decide to vote for more shenanigans, or alphaChi, if we're talking about voting for a person.

Welcome to "Oh Hey, You Like Problem Sleuth? I Like Problem Sleuth Too! Do You Want To Be Friends? No? Well, That Sucks, Cause I've Already Bought Both Of Us A Ticket To Absolute Hell And They Don't Do Refunds: The Game!" Also known as Murder the Maniac.

Nobody really knows what's happening. There's a Maniac, he's taken ten damage thus far, you gotta try to kill him and his henchmen, but also be creative because otherwise he can sorta just reality-bend you away or whatever the fuck he does. Anyway, vote for alphaChi registered! Expect to see your soul... sometime.

Yet Another Guy: I take the no-longer-sentient hand, and jab all its finger's into the rolling eye one by one.

Unfortunately, the hand has literally been disintegrated, but you have your own hand! You slowly insert it into the eye, and it seems to squish and pop... Regenerating with one less health! This is going to be really annoying.

Hydraloonie: I bring back Not The Maniac 666 and say, go kill someone.

You attempt to bring back Not The Maniac 666, however, it doesn't seem to work. Instead, you feel compelled to focus really hard on when you sucked out his soul-

SHWOOMP!!

Not The Maniac 666: wait why would you do that, stop please i was just trying to help you and teach you how the game works stop stop i don't want to get my soul sucked please don't suck my soul!

Uhm. You appear to have been brought back in time to the moment when you were going to steal Not The Maniac 666's soul.

Not The Maniac 666: uhm... hello? you changed your mind...?

This time around, you end up not sucking his soul, whether it be out of confusion or generally just trying out what'd happen. Once your mind is set on the fact that you aren't going to suck his soul...

SCROOMP!!

You warp back into current time. It seems you have undone your soul-sucking of Not The Maniac 666, whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Which means that you have basically become the version of you that continued talking to him.

Not The Maniac 666: so, as i was saying, my favorite method to kill my victims is what i like to call the "double switch-a-roo pull out roll in and tuck" method

What the fuck were you two talking about?!

Five souls in total! Current soul outliers: Hydraloonie (0), Tales of Under(-1), Dungkaka 1801 (-1). Everyone else has 1. Souls are currently being used for killing purposes.

Elections end in two turns!

Candidates

alphaChi - 5 Votes - In his own words - "i will also offer you souls, but instead of only one i will offer you the amount of souls KJU ha divided by the number of players, with the remainder going to my government to pay for all expenses." Vote for him if you want. Uhm. Shit to go up to 11. I don't know in what department. Shenanigans, probably.

The Good-ish Guys (emphasis on "ish")

Jake from Pizza Hutt: FU/CK HP. Probably not u/spez. Pseudo-fucked off from the Battlefield!

The Fucking, PHD (in kicking ass): ??? HP. Eldritch abomination.

alphaChi: 9/20 HP. Totally bewildered. Empowered by the covenant! Maybe probably sorta has some other powers.

The Brainiac: 130/150 HP. Un-humiliated.

omegaPsi: 20/20 HP. Captured by the Brainiac.

The Maniac's Cast of Outcasts

Rolling Eye: 9/10 HP. Maniac's eye. Always watching!

The Maniac: 140/150 HP. Missing both hands and both eyes!

edited 20th Jun '18 9:29:47 AM by TrickleJest

Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.

TalesofUnder Not Sherlock Holmes from 1900s England Since: May, 2017 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!

Not Sherlock Holmes

#112: Feb 18th 2018 at 10:10:27 AM

I take the soul counter and devour it, gaining my soul back. I then spill a ton of water everywhere, then take some pills that turn me into a Primarina. Then, I use a water type move on the rolling eye, because water hurts when it gets in your eyes, man.

“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”

YetAnotherGuy oracle of... from south-east of the middle of nowhere Since: Feb, 2018 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA

oracle of...

#113: Feb 18th 2018 at 10:22:00 AM

Well shit, um, killing this eye looks as if its to be much harder than I first thought it would be. Welp, fight fire with fire, as I always say!

I tear out one of my own eye, spit all over it and toss it at the Maniac's Rolling Eye. I push 'im forwards, grab me some popcorn and watch 'em fight. Hell, I even start selling tickets to what is certain to be the most epic battle of the century!

alphaChi Since: Dec, 2017

#114: Feb 18th 2018 at 10:25:36 AM

hmmmmmm..... i sense a pattern here. of all alternate versions i have seen there seems to be a strong one and a smart one. i'm double plus strong and also rather smart, so what's up with that. on the other hand, would i even know if i was dumb? oh fuck, i'm the dumb one aren't i. omegapsi must have some genius level intellect, and he must also be planning to kill me with an elaborate trap, because that's what smart people do. i won't let that happen.

with those thoughts in mind i stab through omegapsi, while shouting: "IF YOU'RE SO SMART GO FUCKING CURE YOURSELF YOU MEDICAL DEGREE aND MULTIPLE PHD HAVING BASTARD!"

i then tell the braniac to go kill the eye.

Steffan Since: Feb, 2018

#115: Feb 18th 2018 at 10:33:33 AM

Spalthos the Blobfish! He lives! this time I won't do anything dumb, like sacrifice his life force to learn an ability called "the sevem swamps techicality" or whatever. Instead, I make sure he doesn't die by grabbing a role of FLEX TAPE and taping a shield to his head, both of his elbows, and each of his feet. he is so protected! that's gotta be, like, another whole bunch of shield!

Hydraloonie Hydraloonie from The northwestern Krusty Burger Since: May, 2017 Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Hydraloonie

#116: Feb 18th 2018 at 11:10:20 AM

I fuse with Not The Maniac 666 and we become Not Hydraloonie 667

edited 18th Feb '18 11:10:43 AM by Hydraloonie

Progress has it's stepping stones.

medievalParadox Just some guy from any device that can get onto the internet Since: Dec, 2017 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free

Just some guy

#117: Feb 19th 2018 at 5:09:22 PM

I do the obvious thing to do and pepper spray the eye to get rid of the slime, and then i pepper spray it again to blind, and or burn it.

edited 20th Feb '18 7:18:31 AM by medievalParadox

Here's a Godmodder. Please Kill him before he fucks up everything. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=15527074470A62989200

Miss_Desperado https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YD2i1FzUYA from somewhere getting rained on by Puget Sound Since: Sep, 2016 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YD2i1FzUYA

#118: Feb 20th 2018 at 11:44:22 PM

90/100 Blood Reserve

At the voting booth, I vote for Singular Spades, getting a paper cut on my thumb in the process. Ouch, darn wood-pulp! I hiss quietly in frustration and regenerate (two-for-one exchange from my Blood Reserve to my health points - won't work on a Wooden Stake).

88/100 Blood Reserve

I give a wide berth to the pepper-spraying troper, there's no way I'm gonna attack that eyeball (s)he's after as long as there's pepper spray (it's worse than garlic) in the immediate vicinity.

Observing that the Maniac's eye sockets are empty, I quietly sneak up on the Maniac and pounce, attempting Kiss of the Vampire (one-for-one conversion of target's health points to my blood reserve points for a neat bite, or two-for-one conversion for a sloppy bite, both options have the possibility of inflicting Jizzed in My Pants on the target). Hopefully this will distract him long enough for someone else to get a hit in.

edited 20th Feb '18 11:45:30 PM by Miss_Desperado

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

vjoi from The South. Since: Feb, 2016 Relationship Status: Mu

#119: Feb 21st 2018 at 3:58:01 AM

forgot about this, sorry.

I teach myself to be able to be as coordinated in my cat form as my human form, once i succeeded in that task i decide to blast the maniac with pepper spray for funsies.

edited 22nd Feb '18 10:18:21 AM by vjoi

Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.

SingularSpades Since: Dec, 2017

#120: Feb 21st 2018 at 12:36:18 PM

The Reptilian, noting the kind gesture of Vampire's pittance vote for it nods respectfully. "Thank you kindly." It then tail whips the Maniac in his hopefully distracted state. Either way getting smacked by a tail isn't fun, unless he's into that which in that case one should take damage for embarrassment.

edited 21st Feb '18 12:36:35 PM by SingularSpades

Miss_Desperado https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YD2i1FzUYA from somewhere getting rained on by Puget Sound Since: Sep, 2016 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YD2i1FzUYA

#121: Feb 21st 2018 at 12:40:04 PM

Oh great, I'm too close to the Maniac, vjoi's gonna pepper-spray me too. This Is Gonna Suck.

Edit: ninja'd by Singular Spades

edited 21st Feb '18 12:42:07 PM by Miss_Desperado

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

TrickleJest Merry Meritocrat from the middle of somewhere Since: Jul, 2017 Relationship Status: Mu

Merry Meritocrat

#122: Feb 22nd 2018 at 2:51:40 AM

Hey! We have a discord server now. And by "we" I mean "me". Update's coming later today!

Here's the link: https://discord.gg/MaJdybn.

Edit: Just to clarify, the game still stays here. The server is just for talking about random stuff when you feel like it. Doesn't have to be about the game, just anything.

edited 22nd Feb '18 10:19:35 AM by TrickleJest

Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.

Miss_Desperado https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YD2i1FzUYA from somewhere getting rained on by Puget Sound Since: Sep, 2016 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YD2i1FzUYA

#123: Feb 22nd 2018 at 10:31:41 AM

OOC: I chatted with Trickle Jest on Discord, and to relay what he said, the game won't be moving to Discord. Hopefully that will forestall any confusion.

Edit: Ninja'd

edited 22nd Feb '18 10:32:46 AM by Miss_Desperado

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

TrickleJest Merry Meritocrat from the middle of somewhere Since: Jul, 2017 Relationship Status: Mu

Merry Meritocrat

#124: Feb 22nd 2018 at 11:21:40 AM

Update XVII (17) - The President of the United States of Your Mom

Very classy, I know.

Talesof Under: I take the soul counter and devour it, gaining my soul back. I then spill a ton of water everywhere, then take some pills that turn me into a Primarina. Then, I use a water type move on the rolling eye, because water hurts when it gets in your eyes, man.

Listen, if you keep trying to steal souls, you aren't gonna get your soul back! This should be easy enough considering that only sinners get their souls sucked, which should mean using common sense that to get your soul back you simply have to not sin. And theft is a sin, my guy. Nevertheless, you do devour something, although it isn't a soul - instead, it's a sole. That gives you a pretty bad tummy ache, as consuming leather usually isn't such a good idea, which combined with pills create a rather ugly combination.

Luckily, being your pal, the Maniac steps up to help. "Hey, hey, what's all the commotion? You can simply use the Murder the Maniac-patented restroom™! Free of charge! It's simply located... Uhm..." he squints, pointing at something that's located very, very, very far away. The restroom seems to be obscured by a series of giant dinosaurian abominations, all wielding hacksaws of some variety, which are in turn obscured by a giant castle filled to the brim with booby traps and unnecessarily long boss-fights, which is in turn obscured by a giant impenetrable wall created out of ancient meteorite rocks with a small hole underneath it that hosts a slumbering orc demon, which is turn obscured by an ice cream stand, which is turn obscured by a school for amateur reality warpers, which is in turn obscured by Gk'noknix, an age-old valley that is simultaneously a plateau, which is turn obscured by what appears to be a giant perpetual Macy's Thanksgiving Parade that loops endlessly with maniacal and corrupted versions of different characters tailored to fit your very own childhood experience (or in this case, ruin it), which is obscured by the Maniac's finger pointing at all of it. "Do you still need to use the restroom, or...?" he snickers.

Water does burn your eyes, however, the eye is impervious to burn like I've mentioned prior! How is a water-type attack a fire-type? Well. Uh. Never mind. One damage.

Yet Another Guy: Well shit, um, killing this eye looks as if its to be much harder than I first thought it would be. Welp, fight fire with fire, as I always say! I tear out one of my own eye, spit all over it and toss it at the Maniac's Rolling Eye. I push 'im forwards, grab me some popcorn and watch 'em fight. Hell, I even start selling tickets to what is certain to be the most epic battle of the century!

Wow, that's pretty disgusting. I love it! The battle is on. You make a Kickstarter for it, you know, to fund everything that's needed, and you alsopost a trailer of it on You Tube, just to tease it a little, and then... Woah! The tickets sell like wildfire! It's the battle of the century! Everyone's talking about it, even those talk show hosts that seem to only talk about Trump's presidency! Which is pretty weird considering the president is Bilstic Vengance and has never actually been Donald Trump, or rather, it used to be Mr. Vengance. It's probably gonna be alphaChi at this point.

Anyway, it gets so absurd that suddenly you're pumping out books and movies about it and the battle hasn't even happened! Oddly enough, despite the fact that the funds for the battle have raised quintuple the amount first set in under 24 hours, which should mean that it's running 5x better than you would've thought, you keep being tempted to postpone it. Of course, there's movie production that you have to attend every now and then - and merch, too, the fans love merchandise! You have mugs, t-shirts, posters, and suddenly... you just don't really feel like doing the battle anymore. And yet there's no way to tell the fans, after all, they'd be furious! They already paid for it, after all. Even if you got a truckload of cash from it, you don't really think ripping out your eyeball is a good eye anymore.

So you just drop all of your cash on the eyeball and set it on fire. Technically, as the eye is impervious to fire it doesn't actually damage it, but you do it just for good measure. And also because you feel tainted by your past mistakes, so you fake your own funeral and drop the project altogether, never telling the fans what happened. They still cry to this day. One damage!

alphaChi: hmmmmmm..... i sense a pattern here. of all alternate versions i have seen there seems to be a strong one and a smart one. i'm double plus strong and also rather smart, so what's up with that. on the other hand, would i even know if i was dumb? oh fuck, i'm the dumb one aren't i. omegapsi must have some genius level intellect, and he must also be planning to kill me with an elaborate trap, because that's what smart people do. i won't let that happen. with those thoughts in mind i stab through omegapsi, while shouting: "IF YOU'RE SO SMART GO FUCKING CURE YOURSELF YOU MEDICAL DEGREE aND MULTIPLE PHD HAVING BASTARD!" i then tell the braniac to go kill the eye.

You stab omegaPsi, having chosen your path! Huh. That was easy. Turns out he's dead. Hm... It's almost as if... It was... Too easy. Heh. There's nothing to worry about. He's dead! He's dead. He's... dead? Or... is it all an elaborate trap...? Has he already replaced his body with a mechanical counterpart, sporting fake blood and all?! Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. He could be anywhere! He could be underground, waiting to impale you with a five meter long javelin! He could even be the Brainiac! He could even be... you?! Oh my god, no, no, there's no way! There's... Huh... Wh-... What is this feeling? Nausea? No... It's something a lot... Worse... Something... Familiar.

POP!

You suddenly find yourself in what seems to be... Holy fuck. NO. NOT THIS AGAIN. You know this feeling all too well. It isn't nausea, it's the twisted feeling of... of... being sent to another dimension...?! This time, however, you don't feel any heat and nothing is certainly freezing, it seems that it wasn't your powers that activated now, but someone else's. And you know exactly whose it is. Nevertheless, the feeling of nausea-esque horror sticks around for a bit longer now, and you really can't make out where you are. It doesn't look like either of the Battlefields, in fact, it just looks completely original. Needless to say, you have absolutely no idea what's going on or where you are. Looking around, this place eerily feels like both Battlefields, yet looks nothing like them.

"Zzzzzz... No sleep... Zzzzzz... All these... Zzzzz... P-p-players...." you hear a voice from behind you, snoring. As you approach it, you find a rather odd-looking figure slumbering on the ground, wearing a sleeping mask. The person's spiky electric-yellow hair seems to extend beyond their head, and messy bangs seem to cover a good portion of their face even more than the sleeping mask itself. Next to the figure is a lonely sock containing something. Perhaps the most absurd thing of all is that you can't seem to zap away back to any of the two dimensions you were in, as if you're somewhere... disconnected. This seems awfully familiar.

Steffan: Spalthos the Blobfish! He lives! this time I won't do anything dumb, like sacrifice his life force to learn an ability called "the sevem swamps techicality" or whatever. Instead, I make sure he doesn't die by grabbing a role of FLEX TAPE and taping a shield to his head, both of his elbows, and each of his feet. he is so protected! that's gotta be, like, another whole bunch of shield!

Ah, I see you are a man of culture as well. Nothing in this world can protect better than FLEX TAPE! Spalthos is sure to not die now. Despite that, the shields and the awesomeness of FLEX TAPE sure seem to be weighing him down to a point where he can't really move.

Hydraloonie: I fuse with Not The Maniac 666 and we become Not Hydraloonie 667

Fusion complete! Once again, you aren't too sure what you'll gain from this, but it's bound to be interesting. You can now talk to Not The Maniac 666 inside your head instead of online.

I do the obvious thing to do and pepper spray the eye to get rid of the slime, and then i pepper spray it again to blind, and or burn it.

Unfortunately, it's impervious to status effects, and that sorta includes pepper spray-ness as well. Nevertheless, you simply give up and throw the can at it, dealing one point of damage to the eye.

The noise from the moon impacting the battlefield disturbs my vampiric slumber and I peek out the window to watch from a distance. As the rest of the chaos unfolds, I discard my crucifix necklace Restraining Bolt, chug the blood-bank's weekly doorstop delivery, apply sunscreen so I don't get de-powered in the sunlight, and leave my home behind me. 90/100 Blood Reserve At the voting booth, I vote for Singular Spades, getting a paper cut on my thumb in the process. Ouch, darn wood-pulp! I hiss quietly in frustration and regenerate (two-for-one exchange from my Blood Reserve to my health points - won't work on a Wooden Stake). 88/100 Blood Reserve I give a wide berth to the pepper-spraying troper, there's no way I'm gonna attack that eyeball (s)he's after as long as there's pepper spray (it's worse than garlic) in the immediate vicinity. Observing that the Maniac's eye sockets are empty, I quietly sneak up on the Maniac and pounce, attempting Kiss of the Vampire (one-for-one conversion of target's health points to my blood reserve points for a neat bite, or two-for-one conversion for a sloppy bite, both options have the possibility of inflicting Jizzed in My Pants on the target). Hopefully this will distract him long enough for someone else to get a hit in.

Welcome to Murderer the Murderer! I feel like something's off with that...

As is customary with all players, I'll give you 20 HP. Vote for Singular Spades registered. You manage to distract the Maniac despite the fact that you don't actually hit, he seems to be particularly evasive. Although, he's actually impervious to having jizzed in his pants, considering he isn't actually wearing any.

vjoi: forgot about this, sorry. I teach myself to be able to be as coordinated in my cat form as my human form, once i succeeded in that task i decide to blast the maniac with pepper spray for funsies.

Nah, it's all good, you don't have to play if you lose interest.

Anyway, you're now as coordinated in your cat form! You also blast the Maniac with pepper spray, which he oddly enough seems to enjoy. I mean, he is a freak after all, so he eats it all up.

Singular Spades: The Reptilian, noting the kind gesture of Vampire's pittance vote for it nods respectfully. "Thank you kindly." It then tail whips the Maniac in his hopefully distracted state. Either way getting smacked by a tail isn't fun, unless he's into that which in that case one should take damage for embarrassment.

One damage to the Maniac! Cooperation is something that I can appreciate, even if it wasn't very advanced.

I mean, the Maniac is into all of "that", no matter what "that" is. Nevertheless, it still inflicts pain on him, because masochists can still die and stuff even if they relish it (although I've yet to meet a masochist that'd enjoy the feeling of death).

Oh great, I'm too close to the Maniac, vjoi's gonna pepper-spray me too. This Is Gonna Suck. Edit: ninja'd by Singular Spades

Fortunately for you, the Maniac ate the pepper spray! You get spared this time, but of course, don't expect this to happen a lot.

No events this time. I'm a little busy and also working on the secret project. Pop into the Discord server if you have time!

Five souls in total! Current soul outliers: Hydraloonie (0), Tales of Under(-1), Dungkaka 1801 (-1). Everyone else has 1. Souls are currently being used for killing purposes.

Elections end in two turns!

Candidates

Singular Spades - 1 Vote - Vote for him if you like Reptilians! Who doesn't? They control Earth anyway, not like it makes a huge difference, just sorta... makes it more official. But who doesn't like Reptilians, right?

The Good-ish Guys (emphasis on "ish")

Jake from Pizza Hutt: FU/CK HP. Probably not Alex Jones. Pseudo-fucked off from the Battlefield!

The Fucking, PHD (in kicking ass): ??? HP. Eldritch abomination.

Not on the Battlefield: alphaChi: 9/20 HP. Totally bewildered. Empowered by the covenant! Maybe probably sorta has some other powers.

The Brainiac: 130/150 HP. Un-humiliated.

omegaPsi: DEAD?

Spalthos: 12/12 HP. FLEX TAPE'd! Can't move, unfortunately.

Miss_Desperado: 20/20 HP. (Shh... I'll format all the Blood Reserve stuff next time. Wink wonk.)

The Maniac's Cast of Outcasts

Rolling Eye: 6/10 HP. Maniac's eye. Always watching!

The Maniac: 139/150 HP. Missing both hands and both eyes!

edited 20th Jun '18 9:30:53 AM by TrickleJest

Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.

Miss_Desperado https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YD2i1FzUYA from somewhere getting rained on by Puget Sound Since: Sep, 2016 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YD2i1FzUYA

#125: Feb 22nd 2018 at 12:01:21 PM

How did I not notice the Maniac has no pants? Eh, no matter, they probably can't fit over all that groin protection anyway.

I hiss at vjoi (for being careless with the pepper spray) and retreat. Then I go over to Spalthos and start tweaking the armor to restore mobility. (Anyone's welcome to help me...)

If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.

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