Accepted. I could do with a mount...

• Escort my party to Crystal Lake campsite and work security. There's a cockamame` local legend about the place being haunted, and my lady friend won't come with us if we don't have a bodyguard.

Reward: 100 EXP, 1300 gold, Hockey Mask of Fear X1, Coveralls X1, Machette of Terror X1

edited 30th Jun '15 7:03:14 PM by dvorak

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

An escort mission? Unless this chick has holy fucksplosion powers or summat, euuuuugh no.

20 Bear Asses

I need you to get me twenty bear asses. Don't ask why, just do it.

Completion requirements:

• Bear Ass (20)

Rewards: +500 gold, +10000 EXP, +200 Favor: Creepy Stranger You Met On the Street

i think i mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart

Have the bear asses from when I last posted that quest.

• The local haunted castle has spewed forth a legion of the Undead. Take this enchanted whip and slay the evil that lurks within.
• Bullwhip of Righteousness

Reward: 100 EXP, 1000 gold, Leather Armor X1, Vampire Lord's Ring X1

edited 2nd Jul '15 12:09:39 AM by dvorak

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

I fear I must decline, my last name has no mont in it, Bel or otherwise.

Shiny Emeralds Part II: Swelling the Hoard

I require ever more emeralds and I shall pay very well for a large delivery of them.

• Collect 8 emeralds

Rewards: +2000XP, +30000 Reputation: Laithelryn, Sapphire Necklace (+2 Will, +1 Dexterity)

edited 29th Nov '15 3:58:48 AM by Laithelryn

To the mines! Hi-ho! Hi-ho!...

• Play my forum game.

Reward: Incendiary Blaster X1, Batteries X8, 130 EXP.

edited 8th Jul '15 10:58:09 PM by dvorak

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

You have no given me a link so sadly I must decline.

Shiny Emeralds Part III: The Icy Lake

I have received word that a wooden box containing shiny emeralds has fallen into the nearby lake. Will you brave its freezing depths and return them to me?

• Collect the case of emeralds
• Decide the fate of the emeralds
  • Give the emeralds to Laithelryn
  • Keep the lake's bounty for yourself
  • Search for the original owner of the emeralds

Rewards: Laithelryn's Favour: +4000XP, +80000 Reputation: Laithelryn, Sapphire Brooch (+5 Will, +20 Cold Resistance)
Rewards: Frozen Profit: +4000XP,-2000000 Reputation:Laithelryn, 20x Emeralds
Rewards: Emeralds Returned: +4000XP,-10000 Reputation:Laithelryn, +100000 Reputation: Icy Mines, +50000 Reputation: Authorities

edited 29th Nov '15 3:58:38 AM by Laithelryn

Sure thing; here's your box of pretty rocks.

• Dat icy lake gabe be a cold. Ged be some chicken soub. *ACHOO!*

Reward: 100 EXP.

edited 21st Aug '15 8:00:18 PM by dvorak

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

Yeah, sure, whatever...

Think of the Children!

Help me put on this puppet show for the Kids. Otherwise I'm out of a job.

Rewards: +100 With Dingo Walley Faction, +20$

Accepted. As much as I hate kids, I can't just let someone lose their job.

• Play my forum game.

• Reward: Incendiary Blaster X1, Batteries X12, 384 EXP

edited 21st Aug '15 8:55:55 PM by dvorak

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

Nah. Bit tied up in another one.

All Drummers Are Animals

• Quest: Fill in for the usual drummer today.
• Reward: A new hammer, 5000 GPs, and a new shirt for your character.

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.

Sure. Its not like anyone will notice I can't play drums...

• Here's a baseball bat. See ya.
• Reward:-100 Relationship: Old Man Hicks, -80 Gold, Karma +100

edited 13th Oct '15 1:11:22 PM by dvorak

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

...I'll pass.

Caffeine high!

Chug these red bulls and prepare to liven up the atmosphere.

Rewards: +100 bladder control, permanent +1 constitution.

TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer

This should prove most interesting. I accept!

Shiny Silver Teapots

I have recently repaired my teapot and replaced my old tea strainer. Would you like some tea?

• Drink a cup of tea.
• Sit through Laithelryn's ever so exciting story about their silver teapot and how the acquired it.

Rewards: +40XP, +210 Reputation: Laithelryn, Refreshed Buff (+5 Will, +5 Vitality) (Lasts for two hours.)

edited 29th Nov '15 3:58:23 AM by Laithelryn

Yes person who looks suspiciously akin to me, I would love some tea!

Shiny Emeralds Part IV: The Silver Forest and the Dusky Chest

I have located another stash of emeralds! This time they are... vert special... emeralds. They lie within a dark coloured chest hidden in a clearing deep in the Silver Forest. The clearing can be identified for the river that courses through the forest has a stream part from it nearby, this steam flows into the clearing where it fills the Pool of Eventide.

• Retrieve the chest from deep within the forest
• Determine the fate of the mysterious cargo
  • Deliver the chest to Laithelryn
  • Abandon the chest
  • Open the chest

Rewards: Passing of Dusk: +4000XP, +80000 Reputation:Laithelryn, Key to Veirsaran, 1200 Gold, Silverthistle Vestments (+7 Agility, +7 Potency)
Rewards: Fading of Splendor: +9000XP, Mark of the Dawn (+10 Strength, + 5 Constitution)
Rewards: Emeralds of Eventide: +2000XP, -200000 Reputation:Laithelryn, 8x Emerald of Eventide, Duskwood Chest

edited 29th Nov '15 4:00:30 AM by Laithelryn

I accept. You sure do like emeralds...

• My AC is broken. Now, this is a very special air conditioner; due to a skin condition I *need* the temperature below freezing. I need you to get me the parts because I can't leave my room.

Reward: 300 Gold (150 for the part, 150 for you) +100 Reputation: Dvorak

edited 27th Dec '15 12:51:25 PM by dvorak

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

Sure, just give me some scrap.

Avatar Deathmatch!

Defeat my avatar with your avatar, if you can!

Rewards: 20000 EXP, 5 new avatars.

My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!

I'm unable to. Barash is going to be destroyed.

---

Death to the Assimilator Cult!

Tear the masks off the Shy Gals and hide them so no one will be ever endangered by them.

Reward: 80000 XP, 1552 Gold, Volcanic Sword

edited 19th Nov '16 11:19:17 AM by arcada188

I am the most suitable partner for Gaia. I have some bad news. You will not make it to Eden. This is the end of your journey.

There's only a few of them left - but those gals freak me out anyways so no thanks.

Please

Kill me.

Rewards: +10 EXP, +5 gold, +infinite Favor: Ghost of Afterwards

edited 19th Nov '16 11:27:09 AM by Afterwards

she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster

No. If you feel that way, things will only get better.

Random Events Plot

Assassinate the king of the crocodiles, then defeat King Kong in armwrestling! Then go to the hospital.

Rewards: A new arm, bragging rights.

My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!

No thanks.

---

Hasher in Hindsight

Requirement: Decrypt the MD5 hash

7180D718675D2DCAB466C73F2233EC79 Your reward is Miki Sayaka

Reward: Exactly What It Says on the Tin

the answer is: Your reward is Miki Sayaka

edited 19th Nov '16 7:00:16 PM by Mhazard

No. Seems hard.

Shypocalpyse Turn all humans into Shy Gals

Rewards:100,000,000 XP and a Shy Gal elite mask.

Now known as Cyber Controller

No thank you! I won't be responsible for that!

What the Hell, Hero?

Slay 100 peasants!

Reward: A card to carry, A deeper voice, a black cape.

My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!

I'll do it.

---

Magical Life

Find a schoolgirl and turn her into a Magical Girl.

Reward: the aforementioned Magical Girl is yours.

edited 19th Nov '16 7:02:32 PM by Mhazard

Er.

I think I'm good.

Bragging Rights.

I demand that you must journey to the most dangerous places on earth and bring back proof of survival, like animals from the region, etc.

That sounds too dangerous and time consuming; nothing is worth that much.

Bring me the entire atmosphere of Dark Aether in a glass sphere no more than 1 m in diameter.

How unfortunate that you are attempting to deceive me.