Is not actually from Lyniezia
You are hereby banned from being within 1000ft of anything that even looks like a computer as you obviously can't be trusted with them. No internets for you.
I cross the road on a red crossing light when there is absolutely no traffic about.note
edited 28th Feb '15 6:02:59 AM by TheLyniezian
You may have looked both ways, but have you looked up? A helicopter crashes on your head.
I never returned that book to the library.
"No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me!" ~ Sonic The Hedgehog, Sonic Colours
The book police throw you into the secret dungeon beneath the library and lock you up there for all eternity.
I plan on releasing spoilers for an upcoming movie.
edited 28th Feb '15 10:58:28 AM by IchigoMontoya
The movie is cancelled and the fans lynch you.
I took that nerd's lunch money.
"No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me!" ~ Sonic The Hedgehog, Sonic Colours
INSTANT DEATH.
Setting someone up at a date.
"Just as planned."
An eternal date with Nurgle, lord of the flies.
I buy somebody the wrong sort of coffee.
"Did you expect somebody else?"They pour the hot coffee it into your eyes.
I downloaded a song.
"No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me!" ~ Sonic The Hedgehog, Sonic Colours
The King Without a Kingdom
It was pirated. Good luck with jail, bud.
I got gum on my shoe.
It's been 3000 years…
BURN!
I do the safety dance.
Tief girl with eartude
You are infected with boneitus.
I speak Latin in a pretentious manner.
TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
my current job
The words are a phrase punishable by death.
I eat some goldfish distractingly.
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
The King Without a Kingdom
You are the first victim of the Pirahna Apocalypse.
I stepped on a spider.
It's been 3000 years…
Now Peter Parker will never become Spider-Man.
I unfriended someone on Facebook.
All of your mutual friends unfriend you and they remove all their likes on your posts. Apparently this is a big deal to today's youth.
I left a comment containing constructive criticism on a video from a popular youtuber.
"No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me!" ~ Sonic The Hedgehog, Sonic Colours
Said youtuber murders you.
I committed suicide.
You are barred from the afterlife, meaning you fail to die.
I traveled back in time and accidentally killed an important historical figure.
The fact that only 140 characters are allowed here is honestly so disappointing to me.
You end up creating a time paradox.
I cheat on a test.
You cut your fingers on the exam paper and bleed to death.
I created a time paradox.
my current job
Now the multiverse doesn't exist anymore, and you don't either.
I played solitaire.
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Shadow of Legends
You shall be forever alone.
I Kick the Dog.
edited 28th Feb '15 5:54:44 PM by MicoolTNT
"We can handle what is true, for we are already living it."
The Dog Bites Back, hard. Right where it hurts.
I win a round of poker.
The casino sick the Mafia on you.
I somehow managed to burn down the White House. Despite it being made of, y'know, not burnable things.
The fact that only 140 characters are allowed here is honestly so disappointing to me.
The King Without a Kingdom
That's not innocuous at all. I guess you get executed on sight directly afterwards?
I released a Pokemon by accident.
It's been 3000 years…
It comes back and mauls you.
I read horrible fanfiction.
you have to handwrite every single document (newspaper articles included) in connection to that incident. AND IF IT DOESN'T LOOK LOKE MASCHINETYPED YOU HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN! FOR ALL OF THEM!
I accidentally blew up your PC