Your Mondegreens

"I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot the refugee"

I held onto that one until I heard the actual lyric on a Simpsons episode

This is something I read rather than heard but: I misread the shirts kids wore for P.E as "psyched" rather than "phys-ed" and thought it meant they were psyched about P.E

Ed Sheeran's "Thinking Out Loud" has been played a lot on the station we pipe in at work lately. The first time I thought I heard the line "I'll be loving you until 1970", which would be weird, unless the song was supposed to be set sometime in the past, when 1970 would be a distant time away. Then I thought I heard "I'll be loving you until you turn 17", which is just kind of creepy. Finally, I realized I had it half-right both times, and it was "I'll be loving you until you turn 70".

I always heard "Jai Ho", from the song of the same name, as "Tally Ho!" for some reason.

Yet another one of those "I was playing video games with my mom and one of us misheard something game-related" posts.

Saying something about "breeding that Turtwig with Egg moves"^note for people who aren't Pokemon fans, it means causing a turtle-like creature to have a rather strange family tree which contains members of other species that can do cool things, thereby causing the turtle-like creature to inherit the capacity to do those cool things is fine and all if the other person understands it. And, you know, doesn't mishear "Egg moves" as "egg noodles".

I'm not trying to make a Grass-type Pokémon fuck pasta.

I misheard "Weep not for roads untraveled" from Linkin Park's "Roads Untravelled" as "We are the roads untravelled".

I thought Mark Morrison's Return Of The Mack was saying "We turn it up again"

Also thought Men At Work Safety Dance was not saying "We can act real rude and totally removed and I can act like an imbecile" but "We can act real rude and totally removed like an African imbecile" and I was shocked they would put that in a song because it seemed really racist

A line from Blake Shelton's "Mine Would Be You": "What's your guilty pleasure, your old go-to?"

What both my sister and I heard: "What's your guilty pleasure, your old gold tooth?"

I noticed in many (maybe most) cases the part I mishear is the same as the title and once I know the title I get it right. One inversion is Garbage I Think I'm Paranoid. While it is said in the chorus I misheard it as "I think about the words" for a long time.

edited 22nd Feb '15 11:52:34 AM by Bootlebat

I thought on Chumbawumba- Tubthumping they were not saying "I get knocked down, but I get up again" but "I hate No Doubt, but I get over it"

edited 25th Feb '15 5:13:58 PM by Bootlebat

I thought on Right Said Fred I'm Too Sexy he was saying "I'm a martyr (instead of model) you know what I mean" I guess some people would consider it sexy if you were willing to suffer for your beliefs

Bananarama's cover of "Venus":

"She's got it / Yeah baby she's got it..."

That's nice, but what is "it"?

"I'm your penis / I'm on fire / OH DESIRE"

...Oh. Herpes.

("I'm your Venus / I'm your fire / Your desire", for the record.)

edited 7th Mar '15 2:11:00 AM by Pyrite

You've got the wrong men. Although I'm reminded of an old joke about the two bands touring together as Men Without Work.

edited 7th Mar '15 6:55:58 PM by MikeK

Men At Work are the "Down Under" guys, right?

Yep.

Vance Joy's "Riptide", which I know because I keep hearing it on the work radio station: The opening line is "I was scared of dentists and the dark", but I initially thought he was singing about being scared of "dentists in the dark". It's not that big of a difference, but I had this amusing mental image of someone being afraid that a dentist would sneak up on them in the dark and start operating on them.

edited 4th Apr '15 10:21:51 PM by MikeK

Am I the only one who hears "....battle every gay...." when he sings "....battle every day...." here?

edited 4th Apr '15 10:35:32 PM by BaconManiac5000

Apparently I have many Mondegreen moments when others are playing songs near me.

Girlfriend told me it was "This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race" and not "Lucy Lucy is a goddamn mobster."

So I was watching the final boss of Xenoblade on Youtube.

I somehow heard "You are all doomed" as "You are all Noobs!"

edited 5th Apr '15 5:30:33 PM by LinkToTheFuture

Back when that one song was still huge, I heard "Gangnam" as "Gundam".

In George Ezra's "Budapest" the way he sings makes "I'd leave it all" sound like "I'd be the door" to me.

Don't Matter by Akon: Oh yes we gonna fight —> Oh lesbian rights

"A Beautiful Thread for the Beautiful Game" —-> "A Beautiful Thread for Beautiful People"

I think you want the "I Read That As" thread for that.