Into Oblivion
Looks are deceiving—it's actually the most powerful computer known to man!
The ability to make yourself tiny. With no way to change back.
please call me "XionKuriyama" or some variation, thanks! | What is the good deed that you can do right now?
You can transform your form in any way you want ... but only one way. Choose wisely!
The ability to flip a coin without touching it.
Dread Pirate Captain
You can silently manipulate coin tosses this way. Quite handy for when there are big things that's going to be decided by a coin flip. Like the opening of a Super Bowl match!
The power to make electromagnetic waves visible to anyone.
Don't stop, just proceed, 'cause this is what you need-proceed, just proceed, 'cause this is what you need!
Lovely Legilimens
Now we can tell exactly where the radiation is coming from.
The ability to shed your skin like a snake.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
Jer gets all the girls
Shedding your skin allows you to also shed any minor injuries you've sustained, as well as rashes or the like.
The power to instantly know how to pronounce any written word
Everybody's all "Jerry's old and feeble" till they see him run down a skyscraper and hijack a helicopter mid-flight.
Too old for this
Along with knowing what it means, making you an omniglot (only for written words, but that includes dead languages nobody deciphered yet).
The ability to avoid sweating.
Whatever your favourite work is, there is a Vocal Minority that considers it the Worst. Whatever. Ever!.
You can survive higher temperatures than physically possible. Pools of magma are no problem.
The ability to drink several gallons of liquid at once.
Mario's not the only Wonder here.
Along with the ability to piss it all at an intense pressure similar to those waterjet cutting machines. No villain nor toilet is safe from you. 
The ability to enter Hammerspace without the ability to leave it.
These two may literally be more bark than bite, but they are no less tenacious than everyone else.
The Camp Crystal Lake Slasher
You can take anyone with you. It doesn't matter if it's as small as an atom or as big as a planet.
The ability to grow flowers on any surface.
Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.
The World's Least Powerful Man
Pretty and expensive flowers. Need a boquet for your significant other? Boom! A dozen roses just like that.
The ability to have a debilitating headache
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Too old for this
And share it with as many people as you want anywhere in the world.
The power to instantly dry the clothes you are wearing.
Whatever your favourite work is, there is a Vocal Minority that considers it the Worst. Whatever. Ever!.
Fly Air Madeline
You can absorb the moisture from any fabric to hydrate yourself.
The power to click links on a forum.
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
Mario's not the only Wonder here.
Along with the ability to conjure a Holographic Terminal on demand! This is synced to the computer you have at home essentially making this ability a laptop with the power and modularity of a desktop.
Weather Manipulation, but only the humidity.
edited 7th Jul '15 6:53:09 PM by aNinjaWithAIDS
These two may literally be more bark than bite, but they are no less tenacious than everyone else.
Fly Air Madeline
You can make it rain anywhere you want. Anything from drizzles to heavy rainstorms is possible.
The power to make foods 1% spicier.
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
Joyful angel
Can cause a distraction when your enemy is eating food while chasing you.
the ability to steal clothes of the opposite gender instantly.
"How can I bring joy when I now know we are bringing misery to thousands of innocent people?"
Jer gets all the girls
You can do this from a distance too, providing many opportunities for distraction if you are ever attacked
The power to never make a typo
Everybody's all "Jerry's old and feeble" till they see him run down a skyscraper and hijack a helicopter mid-flight.
Joyful angel
Never have to worry about grammar Nazis ever again.
the ability to always be wrong.
"How can I bring joy when I now know we are bringing misery to thousands of innocent people?"
The Zangoose nobody likes
You could say that you are completely poor, and suddenly get millions of dollars.
The ability to turn into a strip of bacon.
edited 16th Jul '15 8:29:15 AM by Thepenguinking2
"That is hard to argue or agree with." ~Penny
Turn into a strip of bacon.
Get eaten, chewed.
Revert to fully intact form and explode out of enemy's body.
The power to call someone a "Fool!"
Too old for this
And instantly turn this person into a Fool (jester), with the associated costume and behaviour.
The power to make anybody watching you yawn when you do.
Whatever your favourite work is, there is a Vocal Minority that considers it the Worst. Whatever. Ever!.
Dread Pirate Captain
You can disrupt the focus of whoever yawns with you. Subtle, but in a fight you can interrupt your opponent by timing your yawns right, giving you a chance to counterattack. May also be good for dismissing awkward conversations.
The power to memorize and perfectly sing any song you have heard.
Don't stop, just proceed, 'cause this is what you need-proceed, just proceed, 'cause this is what you need!
The Camp Crystal Lake Slasher
Everyone who hears your voice is effected by the music in some way, either through nerfs, disabilities, or buffs (depending on the ally/enemy).
The ability to fly at 1 mile per hour.
Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.
Spooky Scary Boneheaded Man
.... relative to orbital velocity. Have fun with that. Also, you're flying.
The power to become... a box. With a lid. And locks.
"The Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with." -rikalous
Joyful angel
A effective way of hiding away from your enemies.
the ability to see backwards an hour ago.
"How can I bring joy when I now know we are bringing misery to thousands of innocent people?"
...And get nutrients from sunlight and water which stay with you when you transform back.
The ability to touch any computer and turn it into a PC/XT.
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"