The ability to win any fight as long as I dance during the fight. Considering I have two left feet, I can't see myself being able to use it well.
edited 19th Sep '12 9:19:21 AM by Anomalocaris20
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Hey, nobody said that you had to dance well you can basically to the Macarena and beat someone up.
BA-A-A-A-A-A-A!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
edited 19th Sep '12 7:10:27 PM by Somedude1337
The ability to form a bow and arrow out of the elements.
Currently I would suck epicly at it (although the elements aspect is awesome). After a few dozen years of practice though... Avatar Gale.
OH YES!!
My ability is size manipulation, which means that I can make anything grow or shrink. I am going to have a lot of fun with this... KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!
First, I shrink my enemies and torture/kill them slowly. Then, I become taller(5'6"). Next comes shrinking my sister to a more reasonable height(4'9", I'll let her max out at 5'2"). Finally, I make everything I don't need shrink, things that I need but are too small grow, and just messing with reality.
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
Sorceress Bookwench
The ability to generate and morph fierce energy into any shape desired.
Well, that's pretty useful. Lightsabers on command.
Everything happens for a reason. The reason is a chaotic intersection of chance and the laws of physics.
OH YES!!
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
I just had an idea... what if we combined our powers? Giant lightsabers!
Do it.
Alright, where's that archery supply store? I know I saw it around here somewhere... here we go!
Sorceress Bookwench
Combine a few of these things, we get giant energy arrows shot from bows made of fire. I wasn't aware such a level of awesomness was possible.
Everything happens for a reason. The reason is a chaotic intersection of chance and the laws of physics.
same old me
I have gained the ability to shoot any type of bullet from my body! Ahahahahaha!
And now I want shoot... that bird! Fucker pooped on my windshield earlier. BANG.
mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean
OH YES!!
Giant flaming lightsaber bullets that have arrowheads on them?
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
Digital Analogy
My power is HEART
Which means being able to manipulate my circulatory system. Faking an aneurysm? Bam! Descending to hibernation? Easy! Boosting my neural and muscular performance by enchanced oxygen transmission? Done!
Do I get the Required Secondary Powers of extra durable heart and blood vessels?
In porto perse vitulus est.
OH YES!!
I hope so, for your own sake.
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)Alright, let's see... Too big, too small, not my draw weight, perfect! Hey fuzz ball. *readies bow* bleat this.
AAAAAAAARGH! Fire! It Burns!! *dives into a fountain*
OH YES!!
-facepalm- Do you want me to shrink them, or wait until someone with mind control comes in?
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
My power is crocodile tears: I fake sadness or distress, and then the sympathy others feel towards me is absorbed and released in the form of a powerful berserker rage!
...This seems like it would be problematic if I'm facing an evildoer who doesn't actually care about others. Or if they know about my power.
"We're home, Chewie." Nah. Animal control's already here, so I'll just make a break for it
Welcome to the Leuge of Useless Superpowers. I'm The Hero, Anom's The Lancer, and I hereby declare you The Big Guy.
Hello!
My power is the ability to bond with someone else! (One other person, and when the two are together, incredible power is had, but if either bonded dies, the other'll die in a chain reaction.)
I think I can make excellent use of this. I hope the bond person isn't fragile though, or I'm in for a quick death.
"If you have any beefs with Santa, do remember to SETTLE IT IN SMASH!" Quote by Edveed
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Thanks for the welcome! 
Personally I'd peg myself more as The Smart Guy (especially given my distaste for physical activity), but hey, you da boss. Big Guy it is. *arms self with sledgehammer*
edited 6th Nov '12 4:27:24 PM by Zarek
"We're home, Chewie."
OH YES!!
I thought I was The Big Guy... literally.
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
It would technically make more sense, in terms of the trope itself, for you to be the Big Guy. How about I go with the Smart Guy, then? As long as I can keep the hammer.
"We're home, Chewie." This is the leuge of USELESS superpowers Landorkus, I'm afraid you'll have to find another group and be awesome instead.
I meant mechanicly speaking, your powers are more suited to being the big guy. Then again, my powers are more suited to the smart guy, and I haven't exactly been acting like one.
EDIT: NE Sgamer, can you provide a link to your powers? I'm trying to see if you qualify for our team.
edited 12th Nov '12 8:44:38 AM by Somedude1337
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Good point. Forgot about the whole berserker rage thing.
Hey, do we get vehicles? I mean, every superhero that can't fly or teleport or move faster than sound has to have some sort of vehicle to get around. Batman has the Batmobile, the Fantastic Four have that jet (I think). So...what would be the most appropriate form of transport for a team of our (very low) caliber? A giant bumper car? A mobile home? Or should we each get individual vehicles that can combine into a very unintimidating Voltron?
"We're home, Chewie."I was kinda joking about the whole "League" thing, but I suppose we could use my dad's truck. We shall call it the Pick-Up of Justice.
OH YES!!
But... I wanna stay! Nobody would ever let me on their team anyway... I'm useless on my own. I'm not awesome, I'm a failure and a sack of poop.
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
One fateful day, (namely today) a a mysterious forum game appears, granting all who reply strange and fantastic abilities. The post itself was simple, a short narrative, and the following sentences:
Click this link
to get superpowers. Post what you'd do with them.
Who will reply? Who will gain fantastic powers? What comes next? Stay tuned and find out!
—- Meanwhile, at Troperville Mall
The ability to summon super vampiric sheep
Awesome! * tries it out*
Wait... What did it say about controlling them?
Oh, Crap!
edited 19th Sep '12 9:28:08 AM by Somedude1337