Synchtube Tropers (Riff on Videos and Movies)

It started out with potential to be a So Bad It's Hilarious movie, but then... it just wasn't. I was laughing in the first 10 minutes or so. But not much after that. A real shame. Even Empire of the Apes fared better somehow! (Enough to get a 2, no less! Wtf?!)

edited 20th May '18 8:33:57 PM by BonsaiForest

As unimaginably stupid as it was, the concluding "sequel hook" as probably the most thoughtless, poorly executed thing I've ever seen: A group of kids, possibly very young teens, are standing around someplace, and then another kid suddenly appears out of nowhere, runs straight up to an astro-zombie mask and machete, and just as quickly dons the mask and readies to attack all the other kids with the machete. The kid doesn't pause to show even a moment of innocent curiosity, as if to suggest he's wondering what these items are (or what they are doing there) and thinking he could play around with them as a goof; he just runs into frame out of nowhere and gets down to being a masked, machete-wielding maniac.

Anyway, what first caught my eye for tonight's movie was a YouTube thumbnail that included a submarine, which I initially interpreted as a sign of this being, well, a submarine movie—that rare subgenre of action/war movies taking place at sea, mostly underwater, and heavily dependent on generating suspense and making viewers claustrophobic (something we haven't touched on in a LONG time, not since The Silent Service, —an anime about the JAPANESE NAVY being given a NUCLEAR SUB and turning rogue to make some sort of defiant statement criticizing American militarism or something or other).

However, what clips I was able to find of this, made this look mostly like a standard, cheap sci-fi shoot-'em-up filmed mostly after hours in some sort of industrial plant, a la Space Mutiny and many, many others.

Then, Wikipedia informs me that this is a time-travel movie (a submarine passes through a time rift in the Bermuda Triangle, naturally, and arrives in a dystopian America 80 years into the future) produced by Roger Corman and starring Jeff Fahey, Jack Coleman, and Bryan Cranston.

And that last sentence just about says it all.

So get ready tonight for Time Under Fire.

edited 21st May '18 9:20:08 AM by SeanMurrayI

Well, going to try different bikes at 6:30 or so. Birthday bike.

Alright, we'll be kicking off with some light entertainment from Cr1TiKaL and, as I had promised last night, the first episode of the late-90's (or was it early-2000's?) Nickelodeon show The Journey of Allen Strange (I suppose it was meant to be something like The Secret World of Alex Mack, but with aliens).

Then, at the top of the coming hour, get ready for Jeff Fahey, Jack Coleman, and Bryan Cranston in Roger Corman's Time Under Fire.

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

Two people voted 🔥. It got ⌚ overall.

Well, tonight's fare is an early-70's British horror flick (not a Hammer film) about a deranged sculptor renowned for making incredibly lifelike bronze sculptures, edging to the brink of artistic success once the art market discovers one of his masterpieces. I sure hope no one learns his secret...

This is Crucible of Terror...

I'm rerunning that John Basedow video from last night's playlist because more people need to see it and know about it. In the meantime, we also go some more surrealist web entertainment from Super Deluxe.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, we're exploring the seedy underbelly of the art world (in a way) in Crucible of Terror.

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

Here's a treat: Nicolas Cage is bitten on the neck by a woman then starts believing he's turning into a vampire. Is he?

Find out later tonight in Vampire's Kiss (Also starring Jennifer Beals, Nic's older brother Marc Coppola as "Joke Guy"— and whose other acting credits, unsurprisingly, include MANY more movies that Nic and his uncle Francis Ford Coppola have been primarily involved with—and somebody called David Hyde Pierce as "Theater Guy")

Tomorrow I go to my nephew's band performance. It's at night, like 6:30pm or so.

And this weekend, for Memorial Day Weekend, I'm on vacation Friday-Monday.

Alright, let's get started more retro TV gaming entertainment on When Games Attack and some other assorted things discovered on YouTube.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, Nicolas Cage stars in Vampire's Kiss.

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

Am I getting THREEWWW TO YEWWWW, ALVA?!

Alright, so I'm gonna be leaving animebadger in charge of things for everybody tonight.

This evening's movie promises some storyline about three estranged friends finding each other again after a decade and... uncovering "one of the key, hidden reasons for the war in Iraq" (I mean, if I'd sit down and think about it, I could probably draw up close to 30 different reasons why the Dubya administration had interests in Iraq, and a lot of them can definitely be pretty crazy, but okay, these fictional characters uncover a "hidden" reason).

Some of the choice YouTube comments on this movie include:

Doesn't that last one leave you hopeful for another Invasion Day ()?

Anyway, here's a kicker... the movie is from 2009 and called Among Thieves, and the only videos, apart from the full length film, that come up on YouTube when I search for that title are all related to the video game Uncharted 2 (also, originally released in 2009). Unfortunately, I don't think these filmmakers had anything close to the money or resources to make anything comparable to the insane spectacle of Uncharted 2... But that's just what I'm gonna be calling on to hype this movie.

If you want to get a real look about this pizza shit movie, I suggest taking a gander at this IMDb entry.

edited 24th May '18 3:58:42 AM by SeanMurrayI

We're gonna be watching a movie that's, apparently, similar to Uncharted 2 (I assume it's a very rough similarity), but before that, we're gonna listen to Marjoe Gortner's MUZAK, then watch some old action-y saturday morning cartoon, followed by our dear friend the Cinema Snob taking the piss out of Turkish Casper, then see why Facebook memes are terrible.

Among Thieves is what we shall be watching, so join us (if you can)! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

~lewattoo ~Noaqiyeum ~FingerPuppet ~ColonelCathcart ~CompletelyNormalGuy ~TAPETRVE ~Rockonman ~MysticEclectic ~Shippudentimes ~SpaceWolf ~MapleSamurai ~Tomodachi

We left the concert early since my nephew's group was done halfway through (the rest was the chorus). And I was here long enough to witness tonight's movie getting    X   .

At the concert, when his group was called to stand up, my nephew dabbed. Everyone else just stood. He has my genes alright - he just had to show off and be different somehow.

edited 24th May '18 9:46:14 PM by BonsaiForest

I suppose it's near-impossible to follow up Vampire's Kiss, huh? Anyway...

Oh, Ho-Oh-HOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo...

We've had something of an impromptu trend this month on Kung Fu Friday with the last two weeks both featuring Godfrey Ho movies... and this week will be no different, as we set up to revisit Commando the Ninja (). Are you ready to witness some hocus pocus?

It's "Horgis Porgis" .

Going on vacation starting tomorrow morning. Also, on June 7, which is a Thursday, I'll be taking a test from work in order to advance to a higher position.

(Luckily, a raise that everybody gets kicks in on July anyway, but still, I'll gladly take even more money if possible!)

Oh, Ho-Oh-HOOOOOOoooooooooooo

Time to kick off Kung Fu Friday with more of Takeshi's Castle and Godfrey Ho shenanigans.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, get ready for EVEN MORE Godfrey Ho shenanigans in Commando the Ninja ().

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

Well, I missed this one the first time we showcased it, but I've been meaning to get around to it, and tonight I'm gonna make that happen.

Here, one Eric Roberts plays an aspiring comic book artist (pitching his work to Stan Lee, in his first-ever movie role) who chances onto a bizarre conspiracy involving an ambulance... that doesn't transport its patients to hospitals. Eric Roberts then decides to personally investigate these disappearances, despite the overt disdain and discouragement for Police Lieutenant James Earl Jones.

This is The Ambulance ()

Alright, we'll settle down with more of C.O.P.S. and When Games Attack.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, Eric Roberts sets out to solve the mystery of The Ambulance.

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

Time for a real treat!

Don't know if you guys ever came across any videos of him already, but in 1996, a documentary was made centered around Troy Hurtubise: an inventor working to perfect a suit of armor for civilian use against grizzly bear attacks. The results are equal parts innovation and SCTV sketch, I swear by my life.

Americans have American Movie. Werner Herzog gives us Grizzly Man. Canada gives us the logical combination: Project Grizzly

I've heard of that one before, but I've never seen it. I'm aware of this clip, though, which I'm pretty sure says it all. Definitely in company with Grizzly Man and American Movie...

Anyway, tonight's feature presentation is... batshit. Downright batshit.

IMDb suggests that this was intended as "a modern-day updating of Dracula" (circa 1998, beating out the bigger Hollywood production of Dracula 2000 by two years, I suppose)... and I'm just gonna leave it there because just the trailer alone defies coherent description.

Strap in for Die Hard Dracula...

So we watched them create a rapper, then we saw them create a rap song... Now we watch the Super Deluxe community create a rap music video.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, there's no telling what we're gonna make of this: Die Hard Dracula!

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

What a plot premise: A motorcycle gang kills an occultist, and the evil spirit the occultist was in the middle of summoning inhabits a damaged motorcycle, which is later bought and restored before setting out to exact vengeance on the gang. And, of course, the possessed motorcycle runs on blood for fuel, because that's what happens when motorcycles get possessed.

This is I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle.

[Insert joke how nineties environmentalists' chants of "blood for oil" was made horribly right]