Do you want kids?

Of course something that can be undone should be easier to do than something that cannot, especially when the latter is a far more invasive and dangerous procedure. What a stupid thing to say. It's a much larger decision and people do tend to make serious decisions based on emotion and regret them later; look at the whole 'credit crunch' thing, for example. Something as life-changing as that should be hard to do.

The fact that you've got the hump about it is no reason to open up the possibility of large numbers of women potentially ruining their lives based on a rash decision.

Of course, I have no emotional investment in this topic, so it's a lot easier for me to see why the doctors are right in this case.

edited 23rd Sep '14 4:33:59 AM by InverurieJones

Sod that for a game of tiddlywinks. What about women who wind up looking after a kid for 18 or more years, when they had wanted to get tied... but hit hurdle after hurdle? Yes, they may well love their children: the problem is... were they really in a financial or medical position to manage as well as they would have wanted? What of the knock-on effect on the children, both conceived after mother's wish to have no more, or those before?

What of them? Those're pretty sodding life-changing things going on, right there. <_<

edited 23rd Sep '14 4:41:22 AM by Euodiachloris

There is no shortage of non-surgical methods of contraception. What was wrong with using one of those?

They don't always work.

When I conceived my son I was on the pill, had been for 3 years, and were using condoms.

For my miscarriage, I had the 10 year IUD implanted in January. I was pregnant in March.

I have known other women who cannot take specific medications due to health complications. Not everyone can get an IUD.

And guess what, all of this is ultimately irrelevant because a woman shouldn't have to justify herself. If she doesn't want children, she doesn't want children. That's no body's business but hers.

It all rounds up to choice. The surgery is classified as an elective surgery. Like vasectomy. A face lift. And all those other fancy names for aesthetical surgeries whose names I forget about because I am a rampaging idiot.

Yes. Maybe the woman will grow to regret having that surgery done. Yes. Maybe the woman will grow to never regret having done the surgery. But the consequences are for her to suffer, not for the doctor to decide. If the government, or professional guilds, were the ones who decided which products or services were sold or not simply based on "You might regret it", they wouldn't sell alcohol, now, would they?

Do I want kids? Yeah, if you grill them first. Can't stand them cold.

How could you possibly joke about that? You don't grill white meats!

I don't know, I guess I want kids. But hardly now.

Still I don't want to leave it too late. Being male takes some of the pressure off both socially and biologically but you don't want to be getting a hip replacement when you're meant to be to throwing a ball around with your five old :/

^^that's a understandable viewpoint but I maintain that doctors have the right to say no if they don't think they're acting in their patient's interest and wider social concerns simply should not come in to that it. But I feel that's a debate that best by taken to another thread.

My thoughts on the serious issue here:

Any irreversible medical procedure - be it for men or women - should be "hard" (for want of a better term) to get. That doesn't however, mean denying it entirely - to me that means there is a clear legal and medical process, which does not take an unreasonable amount of time, that leads from expressing an interest in the procedure to performance. That process must be designed by the competent authorities in good faith and to ensure that everyone who elects for the procedure is of sound mind and legally competent to have it. This, to me, is key. From the way Gabrael describes it, the bureaucratic hoops she has had to jump through for her vasectomy are not put there to ensure that; they're there to conform to a particular societal vision of female behavior. She has every right to be angry about it, because its stupid.

edited 26th Sep '14 4:58:14 PM by Achaemenid

I'd still like kids, hopefully before my 40s since I'd rather not be entering old age as my hypothetical children are entering college.

From someone whose parents had her in their 40s, that really does suck. When I should be worrying about my grandparents' old people problems, I'm instead worrying about my parents' old people problems. I mean, my dad fell and broke his hip this week. I'm 31, and my dad fell two feet to the ground and broke his hip. It's kinda surreal!

On the other hand, they're incredibly financially stable, so... pros and cons to late children...?

edited 27th Sep '14 9:33:35 AM by Bur

Well I suppose the one up shot of relationship age discrepancies is both parents have youth as well as experienced.

My best friend irl has parents who had him at a really late age, specially compared to his sister. Basically the way it works out is that his parents are more like his grandparents and his sister is more like his mother to him.

It is a tad bizarre. But then again, so is he.

I'd love kids, however, with my behavior, I'm afraid I just won't be a good parent so it's for the better if I don't have them.

I would like kids, but given that I'm 22 and have never even had a boyfriend, it's probably going to be a while.

Ultimately I think it'll depend on who I end up with and what the circumstances are.

Sorry to bump an old topic but I had this thought and I got to write it down. I do not want any kids yet as I still have stuff to work on. I might be selfish, childish and immature but I realize even if I did have kids I wouldn't be able to know what to do. I still need to go back to school and go to college again, I still want to experience new things and I still want to play more video games. I would make a good uncle but I am not ready parenthood yet. Maybe one day I would think about it.

I could actually understand that without the translations.

Anyway, it's been really cold and snowy, and that sucks.

I don't want kids, however I would love it if my brother had kids or stepkids and I got to have nieces and/or nephews. Kids I could visit with now and then and knit things for and love, without having to worry about parenting them myself. I don't think I'm a good parent to anything more complex than my cat.

Nooope. And the next time someone tells me "it will complete your life" or "you will regret it when you are older". Folks, I am 36 here. I am pretty sure that I've definitely made my mind up on this, with probably less than 8 years before menopause, if the other women in my family are any indication.

Generally I tell people if they push too much I am sterile (half-true, it'll be difficult, not to mention expensive, but not impossible for me to have kids) and that shuts them up. I weirdly get this the most from women my age or just slightly younger, who seem to think I am in my 20s for some reason.

Nah. I like spending a little time with kids, but having one around all the time and actually being responsible for them? Hell no.

edited 22nd May '15 3:45:35 AM by Cozzer

Highly doubt it. It's a multitude of things. I don't want to contribute to overpopulation or bring someone into a world that very well could go to shit, there are several things that run in my family that tend to make lives a hell of a lot harder and less enjoyable (depression and autism), and I just generally don't think that I'll ever be capable of giving a child everything that they would need to be a healthy, functional adult. I don't want to be the parent that creates a need for years of therapy and I know that that WILL be the end result if I have kids at any point in the foreseeable future, biological or adopted.

I myself didn't want any because I wasn't sure of how capable I'd be of caring for one. My mental state is the biggest reason there, but I have adopted a niece and she's proven to me I can.

While I will have another coming, that'll be my all.

It's unlikely I'd ever give birth except with a transwoman if she felt she wanted one, but adoption is enough for me given the circumstances behind both.

Although I do want children, a Manchild like me certainly isn't ready for them yet.

No, in fact I'm trying to find a free way to sterilize myself.

Is it just me, or did most of the people came to this thread just to say they want no kids? Is it that people who want kids in the future aren't as interested in discussing that subject? I'm not trying to judge anyone about their preference, I'm just making an observation.

Despite growing up with three annoying younger siblings, and struggling with constant anxiety about everything, for some reason I think old-fashioned, my ideal goal is to start a nuclear family. I guess I just want to be a normal member of society, which I am decidedly not right now.

I think that's the case, they know what they want someday and they might not feel the need to discuss it except with whoever might be the other parent of their child/children.

Me, I'm still very anti-ever having children and my girlfriend is too. So that's not likely to change anytime soon.

edited 28th May '15 11:33:39 PM by DamascaRamza