Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

Yup, anvils can be useful. Two daggers, some rope, and an anvil can turn what was supposed to be a challenging fight that drained our resources into a Mook Horror Show.

An in-universe one, this time. From a game of Warhammer 40,000 Black Crusade:

Never allowed to command on a warp vessel again. When the warp sends you to the war-torn sector days early, ahead of the fleet, so you have to make an emergency jump back OUT to avoid being shot down, a demon invades, stops the engine, the captain commits suicide, the navigator's head nearly explodes twice, the ship crashes into a warp reef, gets sent across the sector, dilutes time to make it seem like it's taking months, but still, after all that, delivers you to the destination exactly on time with the rest of the fleet you left with, so no one believes you, maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.

I wish I could impose rules on other party members. Because my current campaign has a party member that needs to be told she is no longer allowed to drug other party members during dungeon crawls.

No matter how badly we need to be able to use that mirror, or open those bags.

edited 24th May '12 11:15:15 PM by Enlong

I desire context.

Right, so, we had followed this threatening letter to a mysterious house in a slum district, yeah? (In-chracter, I had made the argument that whoever it was knew where we lived, so it was better to face his jab than wait for a knife while we slept)

It quickly turned into one of those freaky "ahaha, you have no idea what's real" dungeons. Anyway, in one room was a plate of food and several cups. One of our guys went to it first, while the other person and I held back. We decided not to do anything with that after he started seeing stuff. We went back to the foyer, and a copy of the guy who ate the food stepped out of the mirror, and briefly fought us before fading. (I may have embellished ab it with the quick quip). So, we get to another room, and there's a suspicious pitcher of red liquid on a desk. The other sober member of the party demands that the other guy be the one to drink it, because he's already started taking the drugs in this mansion. So of course, he starts seeing stuff again and finding illusionary(?) pitchers of the stuff that keeps him hooked throughout the dungeon crawl.

So, after some shenanigans end with us blindfolding the drugged guy so he can't see any more of the stuff, we come across these weird bags. Of course, the blindfolded guy tears one open because he can't see the warning, and I get shot full of some sort of demonic darkness stuff. It was a heck of a day.

So, the only remaining sober member of our party insists that we keep opening them. I mean, it turns out that was the only way forward, since we opened the first one, but she was rather insistent on drugging the rest of us once all the shenanigans started.

I think her character was disgruntled that we didn't give her any time to come up with an excuse to go off and talk to her secret spy informant before we went off to investigate the place.

And this wasn't the last time we would end up having to make one guy the designated druggie, either.

edited 24th May '12 11:18:10 PM by Enlong

Aquire poison immumity. As soon as conveinient.

I am never allowed to play a Chaos Monk again. The combination of poison immunity and disease immunity is far too dangerous in my hands.

Never again am I allowed to play an alcohol-fueled Dwarf wrestler.

When told to "go help the border outpost against drow raids" this does not mean to start by stabbing the drow party member before we leave headquarters.

Upon seeing a temple of Helm converted over to worship Lloth, it is considered bad form to turn to the cleric of Helm and say, "I don't see a difference."

Not allowed to let the pyromaniac set fire to a grain silo as a distraction.

This includes offering to set the fire in their place.

My entire party is now banned from using diarrhea inducing poison on every enemy possible.

It proved to be far too much of a game breaker.

Evil necromancer character not allowed to reenact Cannibal Corpse album covers with allies or enemies.

I'm never allowed to play a character that speaks French.

Any particular reason?

Because I studied French for eight years, and I can do a reasonable approximation of a Parisian accent (it's good enough that native French speakers can't tell I'm American, but not good enough for them to be fooled into thinking I'm from Paris). And I will prove how good I am at it if given the opportunity.

The problem, of course, is that I'm the only French speaker in my group, and I can do the accent thick enough that the other players can't always tell what I'm trying to say in English. (Note that this also becomes an excuse to do the French knights routine from Monty Python And The Holy Grail, which also goes against the "don't derail the session with too many Monty Python quotes" rule that my group has.)

This rule was made in my group back in 1998, when it was discovered my Quebecois Bone Gnawer resulted in my character being hated well beyond what you'd expect, even given that he was a) a Quebecois in a game that took place in the United States, and b) the Omega Wolf in Werewolf The Apocalypse.

edited 7th Jun '12 12:46:43 PM by 32_Footsteps

Not allowed to give everyone Latin mottoes.

Even if Da Mihi Res totally fits the rogue.

"Gimme it" would be a more natural translation, but yes.

edited 7th Jun '12 11:16:46 PM by Muramasan13

"Give the thing to me"?

I think you mean "meum"...

edited 9th Jun '12 5:03:10 PM by MasterInferno

Tuum Est Meum, my friend, Tuum Est Meum.

"What's yours is mine."

edited 11th Jun '12 7:11:59 PM by Azreal341

Ah, yes, French. Had a wonderful scene go wrong because of that. GM was very proud of his French skills and dropped it into conversations all the time, so I, playing a Frenchman, rehearsed a scene in French beforehand and he turned out unwilling to rp it in French. Unfortunately translating directly into English lost some details and I had to go back over it later and clarify that one vital tu was a vous.

Also, on the subject of pyromania, I am strongly discouraged from burning down a house to see if anyone's hiding in it. We didn't have time for a proper search.

In other news, GURPS: Flesh to Stone -> Earth to Air -> Gust of Wind.

Especially not on the Big Bad's corpse, "just to make sure".

These are for my party's necromancer (in my RL game, not the one online):

Not allowed to keep a hostile, malevolent animated skull as a pet.

Threatening to kill someone and summon their spirit to watch you rape their corpse is okay. Following through with it is not.

There is no spell whose material components include 38 trained gophers.

Was this a very clever use of Polymorph spells? Because if I had 38 trained gophers, I'd have real fun combining them with a couple polymorph spells to bring a new meaning to the phrase "death from below."

Or enlarge them and use their tunnels to structurally destabilize a castle.

No, I was just throwing the idea around.

My Heavy Metal Bard does not know the spell "Summon Groupies."