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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Scandinavia and the World
Various SATW speculation

  • South Pole is a Penguin
    • Sister America will mistake him for gay.
    • He will become friends with the beer-swilling ghost.

  • Easter Island is a Moai

  • Galapagos Island is a Giant Tortoise

  • Mauritius is a Dodo
    • Mauritius is dead?!

  • Madagascar is a Lemur
    • Mangatsika! Madagascar is Zoboomafoo!

  • There are representations of indigenous peoples (like Native America and Aboriginal Australia)

  • Great Britain Raped Sister Native America and the Modern United States are her children from it (same with Aboriginal Australia)

  • France had an affair with Brother Native America and the Modern Canadas are her children from it

  • France is a Cougar for United States, but mainly to get Great Britain's goat

  • Sister Netherland is a prostitute.

  • Sister America is an Animal Wrongs Activist.

  • There is a White South Africa. He is the love child of Sister England and the Netherlands, and he imposed Apartheid on Black South Africa for decades. This made Black South Africa very sensitive to racism.
    • She's Sister South Africa and her name is Jo'anna
    • She has an uneasy relationship with both her parents.
  • There are representations of every country that has ever existed (like the Confederate states of America)
  • Although some will have retired and will be in the equivalent of an old peoples' home. "Danelaw", the half of England that was once a part of Denmark, lives on still, as Danish-speaking England was reincorporated by Alfred the Great and never died. (yourshire dialect English still has a lot of Danish loan-words).
    • Considering how their personalities have developed, it wouldn't be surprising if instead The American Civil War was yet another instance when (Brother) America went whacko and decided to leave home, only for Sister America to kick him back.
      • Needs some expansion. After the American Revolution, America left home, and Sister America went with him. America was being a Jerk Ass to the African countries, bossing them around and stalking them, and Sister America, while she was rather rude to them too, she didn't approve of America's asshattery. America wanted to be all Achilles in His Tent but Sister America tried smacking some sense into him. The fight quickly escalated, the house nearly burned down, and while America tried to call his father, France, and anyone else, nobody would help him. Canada, however, took Sister America's side.
      • Not the African countries, but African America, a guy England kidnapped to look after his children while he was away birdwatching.
      • Someone did help America: Two Sicilies, who Italy had just kicked out of home. He didn't fight on the frontlines because America had initially mistaken him for Garibaldi and he obviously took offence, and when the place he was keeping order into was captured by Sister America he just said screw it and started making some business. In the meantime, Sister Italy, not having a lot to do while Italy was trying to organize all his new properties, showed up and gave America a few beatings dressed as a New Yorker (Italy would have come personally with Garibaldi, but the latter wanted to command everyone who worked for Sister America and she refused).

  • Hawaii is a Tropical Fish (or a bird endemic to Hawaii) and Alaska is a Moose.
    • Denmark is in consequence deeply afraid of Alaska.

  • The United States are the individual states, and have their own individual personalities; however, only the America siblings really know them, as they mostly keep to themselves. (Explains the difference between state governments and the federal government/mass media.)

  • Brother Mexico is a Jerk With A Heart Of Jerk drug smuggler who Sister America has a crush on and thinks he's just misunderstood.

  • Brazil is either a soccer football soccer nut or a F1 nut.

  • Alsace and Lorraine are twins, and the result of a one night stand between France and Germany; the constant going back and forth of the two between the two countries are a custody battle between the two. France won.
    • Alternatively, they're quadruplets or at least siblings with Palatinate and Saarland. The siblings were divided half-way with Alasce and Lorraine going to France and Saarland and Palatinate going with Germany.
    • Likewise, the Liancourt Islands is the result of a one night stand with South Korea and Sister Japan; but unfortunately for him, they can never agree who should be his official guardian (though South Korea is the one who takes care of him in practice).

  • Freetown Christiania will become Tsundere for Sealand.

  • We'll see Finland with wings at some point, in reference to the Flying Finns.

  • When Germany was divided during the Cold War, Lady Germany was East Germany.

  • England was a neglectful parent to Australia, leading him to act out like America, which pushed England into sending him away. Canada however has a better relationship with England than either America or Australia, because England adopted him and probably didn't neglect him so much. Sealand will likely end up causing as much trouble as Australia and America, and running away to smoke pot with Christiania.

  • Molossia is the most mild-mannered and well behaved of the micronations. Except the time he was Kickassia: that was a rebellious phase that didn't last long.
    • Alternately, Kevin Baugh, the 'president' of Molossia, is Molossia. (This had been suggested before in the Kickassia WMG page as a Hetalia character, but that had been jossed.)

  • Spain and/or Sister Spain is/was a total slut.
    • You come up with a better explanation as to why they have almost an entire continent of kids.
      • They came in, killed all Brother Aztec & Inca nations and married their Sisters. It's quite historically correct, since races are quite mixed in all Latin American countries, but the mix happened after the conquest wars.
      • Argentina and Uruguay's father is Italy and Chile's father is Germany, however.
      • She is a Roman Catholic who believes in having as many children as God allows upon her.
      • Alternately, Modern Spain is the child of Castille and Aragon, who were the ones who were Catholic and had many children. (Wouldn't be too far from actual history...)

  • Portugal is hot for Sister Brazil.

  • South Korea is a Starcraft obsessed computer nerd while his brother North Korea is a paranoid recluse with a god complex.
    • With a tendency for break-dancing.

  • Sister Vatican is a nun. Italy is a Chivalrous Pervert to her.

  • The size of America's muscles is in direct relation to his military spending. This explains why he wasn't that big before the Iraq War.

  • America is a Stalker with a Crush to Cuba. She dated him for a while, but dumped him for Russia. Now she is in a relationship with Venezuela.
    • Who is either her brother, or if all those fanart depicting her as a girl are right, her sister.

  • North Korea is Sister Korea.
    • North Korea is North Korea, but is a girl.

  • Northern Ireland is Sister Ireland.
    • Or possibly Brother Ireland...
      • Jossed as of the print booklet "The British Isles." Ireland and Northern Ireland are identical twins, both male.
    • I saw Northern Ireland as conjoined twins, who absolutely hate each other but cannot be seperated - each is necessary foir the survival of the other. One conjoined twin wears the tricolour, a black beret and sunglasses; the other wears an orange sash and a bowler hat.

  • The Koreas are cousins to the Japans.
    • Not that they will admit it...
    • Alternatively, the Koreas say they're actually their parents, but the Japans say they're distant cousins. China once knew their exact relationship, but forgot.
    • I doubt they're related at all, especially with how Japan treated them. It'd be as bad as saying Nazi Germany is Israel's relative.

  • Taiwan is China's rebellious young son (and Japans' brother), and has been influenced a bit by his siblings. (Just throwing it out)
    • Shouldn't it be the other way around?

  • Sister America will manage to annoy both Sweden and Finland by shipping them together... with Finland as seme.

  • Sweden is secretly some variant of The Chessmaster.

  • Atlantis looks similar to Greece, but wears scuba gear.

  • Sweden came up with Caramelldansen. It was either him or Sister Sweden, and this way is funnier.
    • Sweden was completely wasted when he came up with Caramelldansen. Only Sister Sweden was sober enough at the time to remember it and spread it around, but nobody believed her when she said Sweden did it first, and credit is commonly given to her.
      • And she came up with the Japanese version to get into Sister Japan's pants.

  • Japan was a Hikkikomori at one point, before America eventually forced him to go out and interact with other people. It didn't work quite as America expected.

  • Singapore will be a neat freak that speaks Singlish and is capable of speaking several languages.

  • (related one of the above posts) Finland is also a Badass Driver along with being a Knife Nut and a Cold Sniper.

  • Philippines doesn't wear his/her flag as a shirt but instead uses the ever popular Sun and Stars Design on a white shirt in accordance to Philippine Law.
    • Alternatively he/she will just use a similar pattern to the Philippine Flag just without the stars again in accordance to law.
    • If Philippines is a Mood-Swinger, his/her shirt will be on with the Red on the right and the Blue on the left. (If red is up or is on the right side of the flag, according to Philippine law means that the Nation is at war.)
    • Philippines is weird, period. Also, singing My Way is Serious Business to him/her.

  • Ancient Rome will be either a man in a Toga or a Centurion and has the Biggest family of any of the Characters since most of the Modern Countries as we see them today are his sons/daughters.
    • And he throws the best Toga parties.

  • Greece had/has a horse named Bucephalus and once had blonde hair during his Empire days. (Reference to Alexander the Great)

  • Ancient Egypt is a mummy, either that or has an Egyptian false beard.

  • Brother France is a cowardly Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey, or Kavorka Man taken Up to Eleven.

  • If the characters had normal names, then Brother America's real first name is Sam.
    • Denmark's first name is Niels and Sweden's is Sven.
    • Italy's Italo, France is Marianne, Russia is Ivan and Germany is Fritz.

  • America is a Jerkass because he can't/won't Get laid.

  • Denmark owns either a large house or a boarding house or something, and as he's the landlord, the Faroes, Greenland, Bornholm etc. are his tennants... explains why they live with him and frequently owe him money.
    • Does it really count as Wild Mass Guessing if it's the most obvious and logical interpretation of the canonical info?
    • Does that mean then that several countries other than Denmark (America, England, France, etc.) are all landlords too?

  • The American siblings own a lot of questionably legal weaponry that few other countries would bother touching.
    • And they have a drug problem.

  • Sister Canada is a lot like Sister Norway- she's the Straight Man like her brother, but isn't as prone to being a Cloudcuckoolander. She has never once sat upon Sister America's head.
    • Well, how could she? There's a dog in the way. (Then again, maybe Sister America puts the dog up there to make up for the soul-sucking void left by Sister Canada's absence. She did name it Ottawa, after all.)

  • Roanoke was England's first child. England was, of course, a shitty dad to her too, so when he went out on an errand that took longer than he expected, Roanoke got fed up and ran away, possibly with her boyfriend, Croatoan. Neither one has been really heard from since, except from two of the States, Virginia and North Carolina.

  • Italy's parents are Sardinia and Piedmont.

  • Nazi Germany is still around because of neo-nazis.

  • Germany really got around with the Eastern European sisters. They initally raised Germany's love-children themselves, but after World War II when most of them sided with their father, the Sisters proceeded to force custody of their children onto Germany as a punishment.

  • Possible backstory for Ireland:
    • Ireland and Northern Ireland once dirt broke and had to move in with England for some reason. England got a little attached and wouldn't let them leave. Ireland pulled a Bornholm and fought with England until England let him go. Northern Ireland decided he liked living with England. He's been fighting with Ireland over it ever since.
    • Alternatively, Northern Ireland fell in love with Scotland.

  • Nepal is a Knife Nut England calls when he needs to take care of somebody.

  • Normandy is the lovechild of Denmark and France. When he was younger, he looked up to his father as a role model, who as we all know was at the time...

  • Nazi Germany is Austria's split personality a la Jekyll & Hyde, but Germany gets all the blame for that one time he had a Toxic Friend Influence on him.

  • Mongolia is (or was) the Implacable Man. Everybody prefers to leave him alone minding his own business.

  • In World War II, Germany was Nazi Germany's henchman that he had brainwashed into doing his bidding. After the end of it, Germany was returned to normal and felt guilty over letting himself become brainwashed and over the actions he did while under his influence.
    • That and Italy, France and Poland did their worst to make him feel even more guilty to get back at him for their respective occupations.

  • Italy is paying Denmark and Netherlands to sabotage Germany and Sister Japan's relationship because everyone knows of how badass German and Japanese military were during World War II but only Russia, Germany, America and England knows what he did those rare times he actually fought and Germany, America and England refuse to admit it in public (America could have forgot).
    • England isn't getting any measure of revenge because Italy is embarrassed about those leaks that allowed England to make him look like a fool (that and the leaks were on Germany's side, so the resentment for England is diverted on Germany), while America is spared because he paid for rebuilding Italy's house and buys a lot of Italy's pistols and shotguns.

  • Nazi Germany used to be The Teutonic Knights.

  • Nazi Germany is a demon born of the dark half of Germany's own personality, who once possessed Germany entirely, and is now fully repressed but can occasionally materialise as a ghost/poltergeist/thing when he is invoked by Germany being reminded of him (like here and here). It's because Nazi Germany started as a split personality that Germany still feels guilty about what he did while possessed, because it ultimately came from him and not an outside force.

  • Germany played around with the dark arts. Nazi Germany is a demon who promised Germany all the wealth and power he lost during WWI in exchange for control over Germany's body for a while. Things went downhill from there.

  • Finland will pose as Åland in order to break up Sweden and Åland's relationship so Åland will completely return to his house. All he has to do is style his hair differently, put on some glasses and and shave. As of Three Years we learn the two's relationship isn't as ideal as we thought it was...
    • Why else would he steal Åland's glasses?

  • Canada occasionally has arguments with Quebec, but no one else ever deals with Quebec, leading the other characters to think that Quebec must be Canada's imaginary friend. Brother America saw Quebec once and freaked out thinking he was going crazy for seeing someone else's imaginings.
    • Since several US states border Quebec, maybe America and Canada are the only ones who see Quebec. "Dad" (Britain) has met Quebec, but may not remember her. And we'll never see Quebec in the comic because Denmark doesn't know she exists.

  • King Europe is the son of Italy, France and Germany, and whatever Italy and France did to allow Europe to have two fathers is what really traumatized Germany (Germany believes it's World War II because it makes more sense and managed to convince himself of it).

  • Menorca and Mallorca are England's children with Sister Spain. Their parents divorced a while ago and now live with their mother, but their father still comes to visit every summer. Their parents fight a lot about how they should spell their names.

  • Iceland is single not because he's narcissistic, but because he's ashamed to let anybody see his tiny population.

  • Whatever Nazi Germany did to Germany, that damn flower is trying to do the same thing to Sweden. Let's see if he keeps his soul intact.
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