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Grand Unifying Guesses Assassins Creed
This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Every person who ever died in any work of fiction, ever, was killed by Alta´r. Except the ones who were underwater at the time. They were pushed in by him.
Think about it. The health bar for Assassin's Creed I
is based on how close Desmond is acting to Alta´r historically. Every time you get hit by guards, you become less "synchronised" to Alta´r. This happens every time
Alta´r gets hit, not to mention every time Alta´r is seen by a guard. Since the historical Alta´r would, by the Animus' judging, act identically to himself (obviously), his synchronisation would be perfect all the time. But since your health bar goes down whenever Alta´r gets hit, and Alta´r would be perfectly synched with himself, the historical Alta´r must have never been hit or seen by a guard
, which means that Alta´r is the greatest assassin in history
. It's also fairly obvious that he can move outside the natural laws of reality; how many times has he been able to listen to the monologues of dying templars? Since you get less synchronized and reboot when in water it is also obvious Alta´r never ever went swimming; he probably pushed them in and let them drown (or sabotaged their equipment).
- This proves that the Final Destination movies are what happens when Alta´r gets bored.
- What about all the fictional characters who were clearly killed by other people?
- It only looked like they were killed by other people. Remember, the real Alta´r would never have been seen or detected in any way, so not only we the viewers would be fooled, so would the person who "did the killing" and the person who died.
- So Han didn't shoot first after all!
- Oh, he shot first. It's just that Alta´r killed Greedo before Han's shot got in.
- Wait! Would this not mean that Alta´r personally killed every man on the Death Star within the single instant it took to blow up?
- No, Luke only thought he was the one that made it blow up, Alta´r had already planted a bomb on the core to take it out and Luke just had the luck to fire his torpedo around the same time Alta´r had rigged the bomb to explode.
- This also means the Mr Teatime and The Saint of Killers are really Alta´r, among others. I guess that means Alta´r is a Time Lord, too.
- Possibly, although it's also possible that they are alternate versions of Alta´r, which the Alta´r we know killed. This would mean that Alta´r is The One.
- What about all the people who were killed with Death Notes?
- Writing down the cause of death does not determine how a victim dies, it just tells Alta´r what to make it look like.
- So Deathnotes are actually just Alta´r's hitlists?
- Here, I'll just write "Alta´r. Accident. Attempts to kill the person writing this, and accidentally knifes himself in the face". Let's see if it causes a Reality-Breaking Paradox.
- "Alta- *HURK*" *Death*
- Alta´r/ divided by zero equals Alta´r killing every mathematician in the world, and rewriting the rules...
- If both Death Note deaths and "normal" deaths are really caused by Alta´r then what significance does a human's natural lifespan have?
- Related: The Death Notes are Pieces of Eden, which means the Shinigami are the first Humans, and...I dunno, L's a Templar?
- Well, he does want to create peace at the cost of free will.
- What about the people Kratos killed?
- Alta´r got there first, utilizing the shadow of Kratos's weapons (or Kratos himself) as cover.
- Or maybe he hid under Kratos' preposterous jawline.
- Also, what about all the times where the reason nobody saw Alta´r is because Alta´r wasn't there?
- Alta´r is never 'not there'. Alta´r has encoded himself into the cosmic microwave background of the universe.
- You mean to say that it wasn't the Ninth Doctor who supposedly wiped out both the Time Lords and the Daleks, but Alta´r? Using some totally sweet Arabian Ninja time travel magic?
- Well, as noted above, Alta´r is also a Time Lord, so it's not too surprising that he's got access to time-traveling technology.
- One of the Pieces of Eden controlles time, so Alta´r is a Time Lord in canon. 'Nuff said.
- Wait, that means that Alta´r threw the spear that killed Wash!
- And Book only thought he was shooting down the ship that killed Haven. In reality, Alta´r pinned the blame on the Alliance by killing everyone on that ship, and crashing it by Haven right after he killed everyone there.
- Alternatively, Alta´r only killed the people who stayed dead after all it seems odd that the world's greatest assassin could be foiled by a phoenix down.
- Death probably retroactively hired Alta´r after the Dr. McNinja fiasco. Only time will tell if The Doctor can do the impossible (keeping in mind Kamina himself failed at this task.)
- Pfeh. Alta´r is in league with the McNinjas. Anyone who beats Death earns A-man's grudging respect.
- Ahem. McNinjas = Assassins. They were on the same team all along.
- So that means Sephiroth hired Alta´r to kill Aerith, and after she died, she hired Alta´r do kill Sephiroth?
- It's interesting to note that since nobody stays dead in comics, they must come back to life and usually do so as themselves rather than regenerating (even if they are Time Lords). Thus, the only conclusive death we have is Uncle Ben's; Alta´r must be keeping him in an unescapable prison. Possibly he's stuck in the barriers of reality, and is punching them?
- It's also quite possible that the reason Wolverine never stays dead is because the archangel he fights to come back to life is actually Alta´r and, assassin nonpareil though he is, Alta´r isn't the best of fighters.
- Also because his voice-actor means that Wolverine is Jesus.
- Maybe Alta´r only killed the people that were Killed Off for Real
- So, does this mean Alta´r is God in the Aqua Teen and Demented Cartoon Movie universes?
- Wait! But Alta´r ALSO loses synchronization when he hurts anyone who is neither ostensibly evil, or one of his assassination targets! Which, of course means either he has only killed off all the bad guys in any given work of fiction (still an impressive kill count), or someone is giving him assignments...
- Thusly, if we go by the Trope Pantheons... Spongebob Squarepants is responsible for every non-evil character's death in the known multiverse. Obfuscating Stupidity on a whole 'nother level.
- If that's true, then Scar is responsible for every set of dead parents.
- What happens if Spongebob tells him to kill Chuck Norris?
- In connection with the theory that all voice acted characters are the same person, this explains perfectly why Starscream can never kill Megatron. (That, and it's a kid's show.)
- You only lose synchronization because you're killing people off schedule.
- Once you beat the game, and go back to completed memory blocks, you don't lose synchronization for killing innocents.
- Wait! You also lose synchro with Alta´r in the final battle: when Al Mualim uses the Treasure to blind Alta´r, it's represented by the Synchro bar depleting to deadly levels. This means that the real Alta´r is also completely immune to the Templar Treasure. And, by extension, all forms of mind control/illusion.
- So Alta´r killed Bambi's mother?
- Only if you're suggesting that Bambi's mother is evil. Which, at this point, I would not at all be surprised by.
- Alta´r killed her with the pistol from Assassins Creed II.
- No, I don't think characters who are animals count here. Remember, in Assassins Creed, you aren't even given the option off killing animals. There are animals there, such as the horses, but its impossible for Alta´r to harm them. This means animals are immune to Alta´r, and they just die the normal way.
- Hold on, Connor is able to hunt animals. Perhaps Alta´r only handles the humanoid deaths and regulates animals to his apprentice.
- If you can beat Alta´r at a game of chess, you're removed from The Schedule and can die on your own terms.
- It wasn't Suzaku that killed Lelouch, they got Alta´r to do it. The Code may have rendered him immortal and a botched assassination would've ruined everything they worked for, so they got Alta´r to make sure Lelouch stays dead when he dies. The Code doesn't work against Alta´r.
- Hang on, this brings some new implications for when Lelouch killed Emperor Chuck and Marianne... He geassed Alta´r into doing it ahead of his schedule!
- Not quite. Alta´r is immune to any and all forms of mind control, as stated above. The truth is, Alta´r killed Emperor Chuck and Marianne because it really was their time to go, and tricked Lelouch into thinking he did it by geassing God.
- So it turn out Alta´r shot J.R.
- But if you pinch Wendy's Uctions you can defeat him.
- It's fortunate that nobody dies in Bleach, since Alta´r is dreading having to one day face Zaraki Kenpachi.
- Actually Alta´r is Zaraki's Bankai and so the reason no one realy dies is because he doesn't know how to release it... YET.
- Alta´r fearing anyone? Even if this is Zaraki, this is but a jest. The reason Alta´r doesn't show up there is because they're not on his hit list.
- Uh... he hasn't shown up there because just about everyone in Bleach is Dead to Begin With.
- Hold on, does that mean that Joshua didn't kill Neku, But Alta´r DID?!
- Where does Ezio figure into this? Is Ezio just Alta´r in the future (having gotten amnesia perhaps?) or is he one of Alta´r's apprentices?
- Alta´r, Ezio and Desmond are all the same person, but they play the Identical Grandson to avoid people thinking he's immortal. Not that he can't deal with it, but it's just too much hassle and there are a lot of people to kill.
- If Alta´r, Ezio and Desmond are the same person, and Altair is also a Time Lord, this means that throughout his life Alta´r has not require the use of a SINGLE regeneration since he still looks the same! Compare this to The Doctor who has gone through numerous regenerations already in his nine hundred years life and you can see The Doctor is quite the wuss compared to Alta´r. (Alta´r is at least nine hundred years old too since he was active from the 12th century to the present age)
- Considering Word of God says that one of the pieces of eden controlls time, then yes, Alta´r can be considered a Time Lord - in canon. All he has to do is own it. And we all know that owning is what Alta´r has every morning for breakfast.
- It's not Word Of God- the conference room computer in the first game says it in the email.
- Alta´r grew into his godhood. Young Ezio just has a health bar, not a synchronization bar, meaning he really did get the $#!+ kicked out of him on a regular basis - he was simply too obsessed with his Roaring Rampage of Revenge to die as easily as everyone else, making him just a Badass Normal. But Ezio eventually grows to put Alta´r to shame - 100% synchronization has some insane requirements. He'd regained Alta´r's invisibility and inability to be struck, and gained a form of ESP that allows him to navigate unknown areas like old stomping grounds, can slaughter guards like a One-Man Army, and can pilot Leonardo's inventions like he has a Universal Driver's License.
- Wait, wait, does this mean that Alta´r also killed off all of the Time Lords and the Daleks during the Last Great Time War? The Daleks I can understand, but why the Time Lords too if Alta´r is also a Time Lord himself?
- Well, naturally, he serves a higher power now. One that transcends the notions of race, gender and any concept of good and evil.
- Are you telling me that Alta´r is responsible for every single deaths in killing games like the Hunger Games, Battle Royale and Danganronpa!?
Since Alta´r cannot enter water, people who drown in fiction don't actually die...they're recruited by Davy Jones
- This may possibly be what happens to victims of the Death Note too.
- Which means we all should be VERY scared of Aquaman. Very, very scared.
- However, Ezio can enter water, and depending on how he relates to Alta´r, this fact may or may not be disproved.
- Ezio is the one who kills the targets in the water.
- No, Alta´r is so awesome he doesn't even have to enter the water to kill them. The fact that he looks like he's drowning is just to mess with Desmond and shame him for resorting to such cheap tactics such as swimming.
- Canon: Alta´r swims at the end of Assassin's Creed: Alta´r's Chronicles. Or so they say.
Alta´r cannot travel trough time.
Observe the following facts:
- The Death Notes are merely hitlists for Alta´r
- If the same name is written in two Death Notes, the one which was written earlier will take effect
- However, if the diference in the time of writing between the two is inferior to 0.06 seconds, none will take effect.
The seemingly arbitrary time limit becomes logical when you take Alta´r into acount. Esentially, it takes Alta´r 0.06 seconds to check all existing Death Notes and the go all around the multiverse killing the adequate people. If both Death Notes get written while Alta´r is killing other people, he cannot tell which one came first, and thus kills noone.
So this implies two things: It takes time for Alta´r to move around, and he cannot travel through time, as in that case he could just go check the exact moment of writing.
- Alta´r's constant state of temporal flux has caused the very strings of time to become ever so loose. This has caused time itself to only be measured accurately within 0.06 seconds. Being devoted to his work, Alta´r opts to not risk making a mistake and decides not to act.
Taking into account all of the above, it becomes clear and much more reasonable that rather than actually killing his targets, Alta´r uses other characters or arranges "accidents" and the like to take them out. He's the very idea of taking a life given form. Basically, Alta´r is Death's
His official position is "Death of Everything Else", meaning that anyone who isn't taken out by a Death that appears in the comic is killed by Alta´r. This is why the afterlife is able to function even though the other Deaths never actually collect any souls; Alta´r is picking up the slack.
His weapons are Pieces of Eden
which is why they can transform and stuff.
- So for all this time, Xehanort is actually Alta´r?
Think about it; bird motif, weak to both water and rock(as anybody who has tried to climb a wall while guards are chasing you can attest), immune to ground(assuming you land in hay or grab something on the way down
). He has even been refered to as a legendary
assassin on occasion. The only reason they cut his hidden-flamethrower from the game was because it was too gamebreaker-y.
The following people are supporters of the Assasins
The following people are supporters of the Templars