WMG: Dan Vs.
Dan has an English degreeHe knows his Shakespeare very well. He has a habit of correcting people's grammar. Plus he doesn't seem to have a job.
Dan is part NeanderthalNote his sharp teeth, short stature and aversion to vegetables. Neanderthals were almost exclusively carnivores, and their short stature was a result of adaptation to cold climates. This also explains his rather pale skin.
At one point, Dan will try to get revenge on an entire continent.And of course, it would be for an INCREDIBLY dumb reason.
Dan once worked as a school bus driver.This is what made him Madden Into Misanthropy. Alternatively...
Dan once worked for the United States Postal Service.You don't see it?
- Must be like the Ishihara test.
Dan lives a sad and pathetic life.He lives in a miserable hotel. He gets his best friend to help, but he is already married. It sucks to be Dan, and so he takes his anger out on everything else.
- ... I thought that was flat-out stated...
- Agreed. I mean, Chris and Elise kept questioning why someone would want to steal Dan's identity and live life as Dan. Imposter Dan says the only reason he stole Dan's life as opposed to someone else is because it would be easy due to Dan's lack of friends. It's not really a WMG at this point.
- ... I thought that was flat-out stated...
Elise was the one who smashed in the window of Dan's car in "New Mexico."After learning of Dan's quests for revenge, she framed New Mexico for messing with Dan's car, knowing he would want to take a trip down there. That way she could just "tag along," and get her revenge without seeming as crazy as Dan.
- Alternate theory: The person(s) who keeps messing with Dan's car is a random person Dan's been a jerk too. Be it someone he pushed out of the way while walking down the street or someone he cut pass because said person was driving too slow.
Dan is Karkat.He's short, angry all the time, and always yelling.
- Don't forget that both are fastidious about spelling and grammar.
Dan isn't gay, or is at least bisexualWhy? Because it'd be a funny subversion where the seemingly gay friend isn't completely in the closet and just hasn't had much luck with women at the moment.
- The fact that he tries to go on an actual date with an actual woman in "The Barber" seems to confirm this, as well as his short-lived relationship with Hortense in "Burgerphile".
- Maybe he's not even either, but a biromantic asexual? He doesn't seem as interested in anyone's looks as he does their personalities, though he notices whether someone looks good or not, and he may have been trolling or disliking gooey-ness, but in Vs The Gym would suggest he's very grossed out by Chris's mention of impressing Elise in the way I think you know what I mean, he also wasn't too fond to hear about Peggy.
Dan isn't gay, but he thinks that Chris secretly is.His having Chris say he loves him wasn't wishful thinking. He honestly thought that's the kind of thing Chris would have said and wanted his impression to be as accurate as possible. That's why Dan's own response was awkward and uncomfortable.
- That's probably why Chris wore a pink speedo in the beach episode.
Ted will be the Big Bad of either the series finale or the season 1 finale.
Dan is somewhere on the Membrane family tree.Dib and Professor Membrane inherited his hair color, while Gaz inherited his attitude, temper, and...volume level.
Alternatively, Dan's descendants will marry Chris's descendants and they'll be the ancestors of the Membranes.All of the Membranes have intelligence not unlike Elise (even Gaz is amazingly adept at technological things) and Gaz and Elise have the same hair color. In addition to that, Gaz also has some of Dan's traits, as noted in the previous guess. Granted, given how unlikely it is that he would get close to anyone other than Chris, it might actually be the descendants of Dan's relatives rather than of Dan himself.
- Or, the darker version of this theory is that Dan and Elise had a short-lived affair (note how chummy they became in the Washington episode) and the Membranes were descended from the resulting child.
- Alternatively (and the more in-character than the version above), Elise never cheats on Chris. She sees that Dan's intellect could be put to potential use in the future, so she takes a sample of his DNA to clone him. However, she also combines it with her own chromesomes, hoping that the resulting test-tube baby will inherit her more down-to-earth nature.
Dan is related to EliseThis is implied in the episode "Family Thanksgiving." Elise's mother wants Dan's special deviled egg recipe because they taste just like the ones her mother used to make, before taking the recipe to her grave. Dan later says that he "stole the recipe from (his) grandmother on her deathbed." Draw your own conclusions.
One of Dan's descendants (or relatives' descendants) goes on to found the Angry Marines.Dan's always angry. ALL THE TIME. One would assume it runs in the family.
- Considering that Primarchs are somewhat modified clones of the Emperor it would have to be by adoption
Dan has some sort of mental disorder.In "George Washington," Elise remarks that hanging out with Dan is like hanging out with a big kid. Also, Dan doesn't seem to have a job, or any friends outside of Chris. This seems to hint at a disorder, some form of autism, maybe.
- Chris has mentioned that Dan has other friends they just can't put up with him like Chris can.
- Whatever his deal is, it's definitely not a form of autism. His behavior doesn't match the diagnostic criteria. He does, however, have many symptoms of: Paranoid Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, and even some very early schizophrenia symptoms to boot, all mixed in with an over-the-top desire for revenge and the ability to pull these schemes off.
At some point, Elise will invent a machine that will enable Mr. Mumbles to talk...and he'll be voiced by Bill Kopp.Hey, the guy's already involved with the show, and it's not like he's never played a cartoon cat before.
- Mr. Mumbles has been stated to be a girl. But, I guess that doesn't completely rule the chance of it out...
Dan's last name is Kataiser.They look similar, and Dan would have reason to be paranoid at everything after nearly dying at least twice. They just managed to rebuild civilisation really quickly by the time he got older.
Ted is Dan's Freudian Excuse.Ted committed a crime. Dan knows it and testified against him, but Ted got off due to lack of evidence. The crime was was so evil and so horrible that the fact that he got away with it made Dan bitter and disillusioned with the legal system (and eventually all aspects of society), thus making him into the man he is today. This is also why Ted is on his list. Nobody other than Dan even believes that Ted is guilty, thus making their comments about him emotionally low key. If Ted ever actually shows up, he'll be a jarring Knight of Cerebus in a similar vein to The Lich on Adventure Time.
Dan and the Hills are somehow related.In the episode, Master of Puppets, Bobby did the exact same kind of skyward scream ("Date Niiiight!!!"). Another similarity: Bobby is Camp Straight while Dan is Ambiguously Gay. And you could argue that he has Cotton's temper.
Ted is the one who chopped the tree down in the Vs Washington episode.He may be stalking Dan, and personally setting up several of the more unexplainable instances that have occured.
Ted is DanNot Dan Dan, Imposter Dan. Dan knew that Ted was an identity thief, but decided to keep his enemies close. Of course, this is Dan, so Ted eventually got far enough away that he could come back.
Ted was a girl.Not just any girl, but Dan's first girlfriend. This little tale takes place before Dan was the Dan we know today, even before he knew Chris. This takes place in highschool. Teddy and Dan were juniors (That's important later) and had been going out for since mid-sophomore year. Just before the end of junior year, Teddy broke up with Dan and started going out with one of Dan's friends. Dan had to watch them all of senior year, and grew very cold. His other friends left him, seeing what he was becoming, and Dan went on alone. Dan met Chris in college, and, when asked about his other friends, said that he had a friend named Ted. Chris never met Teddy or as we know him, Ted. Dan has always had Ted on his revenge list, In fact, Ted was the first name on the list. Dan will eventually take his vengeance on the girl that scorned him, but that episode won't happen for a very long time.
- Ted's a weird name for a girl, though... Maybe Dan's been the way he is all his life, and Ted was also bitter about life after going through it as a girl named Ted, and they sort of bonded over their mutual loathing of everything. Of course, a relationship like that would be doomed to failure simply because there was just no way for the two of them to avoid pissing each other off, and eventually it reached a breaking point.
- Actually, Ted is just a tomboyish nickname for Theodaora
Dan is the reincarnation of Napoleon BonaparteHe is short and angry at the world for no particular reason. All he needs is a Cap'n Crunch hat and he's set.
Dan is part Native American.The reason he is able to afford his rent and food is because the money gets for being a registered part of the tribe.
Dan and Elise are cousins.Think about it. Elise's mom said Dan's deviled eggs taste like her mother's and that she's dead. Dan got the recipe from his grandma on her death bed. I don't think either of their families is close knit, so it makes sense.
- Well actually Elise's mom said her grandmother but probaly the same thing.
Dan is/was Skipper Dan.He's clearly familiar with Shakespeare, and his anger towards the world could easily be caused by one too many soul-crushing days as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride, adrift on a (possibly artificial) lake with nothing but annoying tourists and his own crushed dreams.
Dan is secretly an English teacher.As mentioned above, Dan does have an English degree, and he does get money from an ATM in "The Bank", so maybe he picked up some sort of job without telling anybody, possibly due to paranoia. He could just be constantly fired due to anger issues, but somehow keeps finding a job, which explains why he'll be broke one minute ("I want my money back!" "That was MY money."), and be able to afford an apartment, cat food, etc.
- More likely is that he's drawing unemployment, or that he has some other form of income (family money of some kind? I'd pay him to stay away from reunions... ).
- It seems likely that he lives off of some sort of prior major income (lawsuit, inheritance, etc) and is just incredibly cheap.
- Alternatively, maybe he just does a bunch of odd jobs all over the place, including substitute teaching. Would explain why sometimes he has no money to speak of but can still afford such a big apartment and food, as well as a bit of his obsession with proper English.
Chris will completely snap in a future episodeAnd it won't be pretty. AT ALL.
- I can TOTALLY see that: Instead of Dan swearing revenge on something, Chris swears revenge on Dan. Or, Chris snaps and Dan has to spend the episode taking him down so he doesn't nuke the moon or something.
- Elise's parents may appear in this episode, and they take a liking into his sudden change in attitude. Don will even ignore Colby.
Elise will get A Day in the LimelightShe'll need to get revenge on someone/something as part of a mission, and enlist Dan's help.
Hortense will reappearThe episode will be a non-stop Heartwarming Moment.
- Oooh ... so close.
Dan's parents will appear and they will be evilThey will be a Knight of Cerebus and bring about the darkest episode in the series.
- They may appear in the same episode with Elise's parents.
- With the hints that have been given about Dan's upbringing, any stories the family has about each other can't be too pretty.
Dan is Squee CasilTo begin with, this could easily be the same universe as Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. The wolfman exists, every bizarre conspiracy is real, and rule of funny is a law of nature. Besides, both series take place in the same geographic area. The way I figure it, Squee grew up nasty and prone to lashing out at random people/things partly because of Nny’s influence, and partly because of snapping under the stress of being born a karmic punching bag. He’s short because his parents never fed him properly, and the horrific childhood that scarred that therapist was Squee’s normal life. He shies away from killing, though, because who wants to be too much like as horrifyingly (if amusingly) miserable as Nny? I can’t explain the name change—might be a nickname from college, might be the result of a hilarious anecdote involving the legal system.
Dan will end up with HortenseEverything he said about Jeremiah Burger at the end will come true.
- The problem is that Dan, being Dan, wouldn't know what to do with her once he had her.
Everyone that Dan faced will do a Villain Team-Up against Dan.Extra points if Dan doesn't remember and/or they yell DAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
- The dinosaur did this, so it's possible.
- So did the ghost of George Washington.
- And Dr. Pullum.
- Imposter Dan will be the leader.
Dan was once a librarian.Re-watching the episode "Dan Vs. Mall Santa" his resume also lists "Library services".
- Don't forget his patchwork of knowledge and hatred of everyone and everything.
- It would explain his love of Shakespeare too.
- Ah, but could a former librarian possibly be as unfamiliar with the Dewey Decimal System as Dan was in "New Mexico"?
- Well, this is Dan we're talking about here.
Dan's name was inspired by Danny Greene.Danny Greene was an Irish mobster who lived in Cleveland who had a particular skill at explosives and attaching them to cars. With Dan's affection toward his car and one of his first things to use for ventures in revenge being explosives, its an interesting theory on how the creators of the show choose the name.
- This has been Jossed. Dan and Chris are named after the creators of the show, Dan Mandel and Chris Pearson.
- Actually, it's only been HALF-Jossed. While Chris' last name HAS been confirmed to be Pearson in "Animal Shelter", Dan's last name has YET to be revealed.
Imposter Dan will only appear in one episode each season.And each would be getting revenge on Dan in various ways. Jossed for season three.
Dan used to be a psychiatrist.After hearing so many of people's problems, he decided he hates everything and everyone.
Dan constantly ropes Chris into these plots to get Elise to divorce him.But not so he can be with Chris. It's actually Elise that he's after.
For once, Dan will go under a Tranquil Fury in his revenge.It shows deep down, Dan really does care for Chris, and to Elise to an lesser extent.Perhaps, when the two gets in danger, and instead of exploding. Dan simply gets his head in the gear.
The series finale will have Dan vow revenge on humanity as a whole.It could end in either a Heartwarming Moment or a Tear Jerker.
- Probably jossed as the series is most likely cancelled.
Elise knew Dr. Pullem was a Super Villain.It's been shown a few times that Elise works for some shadowy government spy outfit. It's entirely plausible that this organization had developed a dossier on Dr. Pullem, but didn't have the evidence to move against him. Elise, seeing that Dr. Pullem was Dan's dentist, and that Dan had a convenient grudge against him, lied about Pullem drilling a new cavity in Dan's mouth. This gave Dan the fuel he needed to really get after Pullem, and take down his supervillainy. A little bit of Magnificent Bastardry, and Elise kills two birds with one stone; helps Dan get his revenge, and puts an indirect stop to Pullem's schemes.
Ted is Dan's son.Because of that actor from Cheers.
Dan met Chris through Elise.Not actually my idea, but I read this somewhere and thought it was interesting. Dan was close to Elise prior to meeting Chris, and is bitter at her for marrying him since he views marriage as a "commodity". He attempted to stop the wedding, but wound up becoming best friends with Chris through all the shenanigans. This explains why Dan and Elise have so much tension, and yet at the same time Elise is more tolerant (and occasionally affectionate) of him then someone else who doesn't have a history with him.
- It's pretty clear from Dan's comments that he knew Chris prior to his marriage and that he views Elise as an interloper. Elise puts up with Dan for Chris' sake.
- Officially jossed as of "High School Reunion". Dan and Chris went to school together, and Elise entered the picture later.
Dan is Jacknife or related to him.They both have misanthropic qualities, they both aren't above committing felonies, they have a nearly IDENTICAL growl, they even look similar!
Dan was stalked by Slender Man as a child, and he may still be hanging around, we as people he isn't stalking just can't see him.It would certainly explain his paranoia, anger, and just general distrust of every little thing in his life. Except for Chris, the people being stalked by the Slender Man always have one close buddy, in some way. And why he was so against getting a pet until he actually saw Mr. Mumbles. And is so protective of her. What with Slender Man leaving dead animals, even pets, for his victims to find.
Dan is Grunkle Stan's SonThey both do Skyward Screams. And Grunkle Stan evidently thinks that "Avenge Me, Kids" is an okay direction for a child. Also, they seem to have similar disregards for the law, and growing up in Gravity Falls would go pretty far towards explaining Dan's conspiratorial World view.
Dan is a representation of Chris' repressed anger.Chris always lets people walk all over him. Dan was created years ago as a way of venting his frustrations. Dan does what Chris wishes he could do. Or, they will do an episode where Chris accidentally ends up in a mental institution where the doctors think Dan is made up.
The Imposter was put into the witness protection program when he was very young.And ever since then, he didn't know who he is truly was; It felt like most of his life was a lie. So in an attempt to try to be happy, he became an identity thief, so he could find a life that worked for him and who he wanted to be.
The Imposter is the one who hired all of Dan's other enemies to torment him, and is secretly the Big Bad of the show.Considering that the Imposter is Dan's possibly most hated enemy.
Elise's employers need Dan.The only reason Elise put's up with Dan is because his cockamamy revenge schemes to take down major criminals or prevent major disasters from time to time. Elise is there to provoke Dan into chasing certain bad guys, or to keep him from causing periphery damage, but more or less Dan is super-valuable to the quasi-government agency because he does their job without pay.
Dan is on a Mission from God, but he doesn't know. (Not consciously at least.)Dan exists in a Crapsack World, but some higher power is using Dan to keep the world from becoming even worse. That's why weird things keep getting attracted to Dan. Why so many of the people who set Dan off really do deserve what they get. Why Dan's revenge schemes against seemingly-mundane organizations keep uncovering evil conspiracies. Why Dan so rarely faces consequences (at least, consequences more serious than an annoyance) for his actions. On an unconscious level, Dan may have some inkling of what's really up. In "Vs. The Lemonade Stand Gang", when goading Chris into destroying one of the gang members' bikes, he declares that Chris has become an avatar of Nemesis, the goddess of retribution. That line could be an example of the typical paranoid nonsense Dan regularly spouts—or it could be an example of the typical paranoid but actually true nonsense Dan regularly spouts.
Dan caused Y2KIt says so in his resume in The Mall Santa.
Dan is Chris' Only Friend too......because of his friendship with Dan. It is possible that Dan could be hanging out with Chris so much that people don't want to hang out with him so they can avoid Dan. Or maybe Dan's revenge plots eat up so much of Chris' time that he has no time to meet new people. Or Dan gets mad at them for some reason and ropes Chris into the revenge scheme, causing them to dislike him. In "The High School Reunion", Elise even states that she wants him to mingle with his former classmates so he can make friends that aren't Dan. It also shown that Chris was unpopular in high school. While Dan was popular though it is still possible that Chris was unpopular during high school, only because Dan out-shined him.
- So unpopular that none of his old classmates even remember him.
Dan is a descendant of Everett True.He has his ancestor's explosive and vengeful ways, though instead of contenting himself with savage beatings, Dan pursues elaborate plots of retribution against people who cross him.
Dan has/hadAn unspeakable childhood, during which he did unspeakable things to get by. Though it takes a bit of dark thinking to wonder just what would put the best psychologist in their area into such a frenzy.
Dan is still in his teen yearsI'm still on the first season, so I may be wrong, but I haven't heard his actual age mentioned at yet other than that he's an adult when it comes to crimes-and even that could be incorrect as it hasn't been hinted at much either. Maybe the savant side of him got him to skip enough grades to be on the same level as Chris, or, though he seems too responsible to let his grades fall through so much, maybe Chris was held back. A younger age than most people perceive him as coupled with what sounds like a pretty messed up self raising("I didn't learn to tie my shoes until I was twelve! Can you imagine how that feels? No one taught me!") could explain why he acts so childishly-I know plenty of people even at ages like 28 who act like that, not to mention someone still genuinely in their teens.
- Not the case, I'm afraid. Dan is confirmed to be 27, and a flashback in S3 confirms that Dan and Chris were children at the same time.
Dan is lying whenHe uses that cool, calm tone, at least most of the time. Take notice how many times he sounds extremely calm specifically while lying, even though he sometimes sells himself out on purpose, it would be very good cover, considering it's a lot harder to sound angry lying than it is to sound calm, and that he normally states actual facts in the exact same tone.