Awesome Funny Heartwarming Main NightmareFuel TearJerker Trivia WMG Website YMMV
" Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box". Don't click that. Really.
I was expecting something mild.
Mother of God. That's terrible. I only read halfway into the article, and I already knew was it was about.
" God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule", in particular the closing paragraph:
"Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent, standing quietly at the podium for several moments. Then, witnesses reported, God's shoulders began to shake, and He wept."
This one was written in response to the September 11 attacks, making it even more poignant.
Combined with You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: " New Mommy A Lot Prettier"
For animal lovers: Last of 2008 Christmas Puppies Euthanized, Marking Start of Spring
US Commemorates 9/11 By Toasting Stable Afghan Government. If only that was real...
"Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake," also written in response to 9/11. It reflects the reactions of a lot of people that day very accurately.
"I baked a cake," said Pearson, shrugging her shoulders and forcing a smile as she unveiled the dessert in the Overstreet household later that evening. "I made it into a flag."
Pearson and the Overstreets stared at the cake in silence for nearly a minute, until Cassie hugged Pearson.
"It's beautiful," Cassie said. "The cake is beautiful."
"Blissful Ignorance Commemorated on Annual 9/10 Anniversary." Holy shit.
"Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients."
"Son, It's Time We Have A Talk About Where Babies Go."
"Best Part Of Gay 12-Year-Oldís Day Half Hour Spent Eating Lunch Alone On Staircase."
"NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything."
This one hurts even more after the Sandy Hook school shooting in Connecticut.
"'You Will Die Someday And It Will Be Sad,' All Man Thinking During Dinner With Parents"
"18-Year-Old Fighting In Afghanistan Has 9/11 Explained To Him By Older Soldier"
"Fuck Everything, Nation Reports" A response to the December 2012 Connecticut school shooting. A rare occasion when Cluster F-Bomb can be used emotionally. You can tell that whoever wrote it, wasn't in a funny mood.
"All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer". Hoo boy...
"Ask An Auctioneer Revealing He Was Molested as a Child."
"Afghanistan War Veteran Solemnly Recalls Seeing Entire Platoon Murdered By Undiagnosed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." It takes a minute to hit you.
"Holy Shit, I Just Realized People Want To Kill My Dad." Written from the perspective of Sasha Obama, who has, more likely than not, realized this already.
" This What World Like Now", written after the bombings in Boston.
" ĎI Donít Know Who I Am Anymore, Little Buddy!í Says Mother In Midst Of Nervous Breakdown"
" Child Who Just Lost Balloon Begins Lifelong Battle With Depression"
"No, the balloon," said Tremont, who as an adult will work with his physician and several psychiatrists to find a suitable combination of anxiolytic and psychotropic medicines to quell the diseaseís debilitating symptoms, ultimately turning into an over-medicated and unresponsive husk. "It's flying away."
"Come back," added the toddler who will never feel entirely happy or normal again.
" Children Of All Ages Delighted By Enslavement Of Topsy The Elephant
" Awkward New International Student Saw His Entire Family Murdered In The Congo" straddles a line between this and just plain horrifying.
" If You Think You Can Talk To Your Mother Like That, Then Youíve Paid Attention To The Way Iíve Subtly Degraded Her For Years"
" Bullied Eighth-Grader Incorrectly Thought Classmates Would Leave Him Alone During Field Trip To 9/11 Memorial" The ending, however, is a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
" Ugly Girl Killed"
Also from the post 9-11 issues: " Arab-American Third Grader Returns from Recess Crying, Saying He Didn't Kill Anyone."
" As Much As I Hated Putting My Dog to Sleep..."
In the wake of Nelson Mandela's death. Nelson Mandela Becomes First Politician To Be Missed
" Generous Military Sends $800 In Disability To Man Who Wakes Up Screaming Every Night."
Kid With Rough Home Life Gives Mickey Extra Long Hug