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Really, some articles go a little further than you'd expect.
" Blood...Blood Everywhere".
" Residents of Indiana Join Together to Form Collective Consciousness".
" CDC Officials Announce Free Ice Cream For Everyone, Delicious Tasty Ice Cream, And Also There Is An Ebola Outbreak". Body Horror, and Mood Whiplash and Gorn are the least you can say about it. And in unrelated news, about 90 to 95% of you will die.
" Children Of All Ages Delighted By Enslavement Of Topsy The Elephant". Also And I Must Scream.
" If It's Any Consolation, Your Daughter Probably Died Almost Immediately Of Sheer Terror". Uh, you probably shouldn't read that one. Unless, you know, you didn't plan on sleeping tonight or anything like that.
" Interim Apple Chief Under Fire After Unveiling Grotesque New MacBook". When they said "grotesque", they weren't messing around. It makes you wonder why someone would be creepy enough to invent such a thing that is sentient.
" Kidnapped Boy Found Safe, Imagines Kidnapped Boy". Jeez.
" Mother Teresa Sent To Hell In Wacky Afterlife Mix-Up".
" Neverland Ranch Investigators Discovers Corpse Of Real Michael Jackson".
" No Parent Should Ever Have To Bury His Child Alive". Holee-shit.
In The Know: " Should We Do More To Reduce Violence In Our Dreams?"
" There Was Definitely A Point During That Stoning Where We All Thought, 'Is This Weird?'"
" Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck", specifically the description of how the victim, who was not Glenn Beck, died. Don't read it if you want to sleep tonight.
" Abusive Father Can't Wait To See The Art He's Inspiring His Kids To Create"
" Scientists: 'Look, One-Third Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This?'"
" Detectives Overlooked Casey Anthony's 'I Killed My Daughter AMA' On Reddit"
The later episodes of are increasingly disturbing.
Sex House The Fetus Terrible mentioned in " Kate Middleton: Cut This Monster Out of Me". Closely followed by " Royal Family Releases Kate Middleton Ultrasound Image".
" In Stunning Change Of Character, Bill Belichick Adopts Half-Dozen Dogs From Humane Society" and its ghoulish sequel.
"World Now Down To 5 Stories That Are Inspirational", written in the immediate wake of Real Life double amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius murdering his girlfriend, is drenched in horrific cynicism about human nature — anything good anyone does will inevitably be negated by their failings or turn out to mask a horrible truth.
Romney's Terrifying Google Search History Leaked.
Ear Of Genetically Modified Corn Begs For Death.
Life's too short to get hung up on the mysterious circumstances of your wife's death.
Eight of the Hottest Celebs Without Their Flesh!
Bricks Goddamned Everywhere, Reports Psychotic Study
The Onion Reviews 'Gravity.'
" Grisly Remains of 15 Hobbits Discovered in Peter Jackson's Attic"
"Furthermore, sources said the body of one hobbit, who investigators have yet to identify, was discovered skinned from head to toe and hung by the ankles from a 4-foot-high ceiling beam."
" New Marijuana Study Says Everyone Knows You're High And You'll Likely Be Stoned Forever" is an innocuous, decent satire the first time through, but on subsequent replays, the video deliberately invokes Mushroom Samba for various effects. The worst of these include:
In the Onion book "Our Dumb World" the page for the Democratic Republic of the Congo is pretty much the book's own Despair Event Horizon given how nightmarish everything about its recent history and current status is, and the few jokes made are exceedingly bleak and depressed, but this line in particular is just horrifying...