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Suspiciously Specific Denial: Real L Ife
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial is very common in people who have been arrested, and the trope is so firmly established that people may assume you're lying even when you're not. Which is why it is safer to use your right to remain silent until a lawyer can advise you further. When they warn you that anything you say can be used against you in court, they really mean it.
    • Sadly, all of the above is true in countries where they don't warn you about your right and "everything you say..." (France, for example).
    • Amusingly, Miranda Rights are a case of Suspiciously Specific Statement: when they say "everything you say can be used against you" not only do they really mean it, they mean it absolutely literally: anything you say can be used against you. But never for you. Any disculpatory comment you might make cannot be used in court, even if it's cast iron proof that you didn't do it somehow it'll fall under hearsay and be dismissed by the prosecution.
      • Or, more technically, statements made by the defendant cannot be entered into evidence by the defense. Doing so could allow the defendant to testify on his own behalf without being sworn in or facing cross-examination; i.e., it's hearsay. On the other hand, a very strong case can often be made that a defendant's statement upon arrest is an "excited utterance" and therefore excepted from the rule against hearsay.
    • Some people like to subvert this trope as an act of protest against what they view to be unjust searches, by (for instance) telling a police officer that they have permission to search their entire car, except for their glove box. The intent of this is to arouse suspicion and frustrate the officer without giving them real probable cause for a search.
    • A particularly horrific criminal example of this trope from John Straffen, a British murderer. The first thing he said to the police when arrested for the third murder he committed was "I did not kill the little girl on the bicycle."
    • On some real life cop show a cop just walks up to some guy and he starts yelling: "Hey man, I didn't steal these shoes!"
  • Many children do this at first when they are lying.
  • After he was famously headbutted by Zinedine Zidane at the 2006 World Cup final, Marco Materazzi was confronted with Zidane's claim of having insulted his mother and sister. Materazzi responded by denying that he said anything about Zidane's mother. Thanks for the clarification, Marco...
  • US homebrewer folklore holds that during Prohibition, when the popularity of canned malt extract and fruit concentrates shot through the roof for some reason, such products regularly carried "warning" labels describing what not to do with the sweet syrups and a packet of yeast in order to prevent the production of a batch of beer or wine (curiously, while recipes abounded, mailed out under the table by maltsters and vineyards like hardcore porn, the actual labels don't seem to show up much on GIS).
    • Currently seen with legal highs in the UK, which can't be sold as recreational drugs. As such, they're sold as plant food, bath salts, cleaning solutions, and so forth, with "warnings" such as "ingestion may cause euphoria".
    • In the same line, American 'head shops' will sell "water pipes" and similar as "tobacco smoking accessories." This is a legal fiction to protect the store.
    • This was also used to sell birth-control and medical abortion products, especially by mail, under packages that claimed they had other purposes (sometimes they actually did, as harming a fetus is a possible side effect of many drugs, even now) but "should not be taken by pregnant women."
  • The 15th century book Malleus Maleficarum ("Hammer of Witches") is a handbook written to help Inquisitors spot witches. The descriptions of witchcraft were so detailed that the book caused some people to take up witchcraft (or at least the kind described in the book). The book also claims that witchcraft does not exist. It also claims that denial of witchcraft is a mark of a witch.
  • O.J. Simpson: If I Did It. The Goldman family seized all profits for the book and released statements saying that they considered it a confession (the later covers notably print the "If" part of the title in such a small font size that it reads like "I did it" in all but high close-ups, which is followed by the mention of a "He Did It" commentary further down the cover). Interestingly, even if Simpson did confess, he could not be tried again due to "double jeopardy" lawsnote . The only way his conviction could ever have been challenged is if someone could prove he or his lawyers bribed or threatened the jury to throw the verdict.
  • If you weren't aware of the context, a claim by a British military spokesman that "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area" might be disconcerting.
  • "There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never! They are not in Baghdad. They are not in control of any airport. I tell you this. It is all a lie. They lie. It is a Hollywood movie. You do not believe them. They're not even within 100 miles of Baghdad. They are not in any place. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion ... they are trying to sell to the others an illusion. ...at Saddam Airport? Now that's just silly!"
    • Veered into Implausible Deniability as the invasion continued. At one point he specifically denied that American tanks were anywhere near the area, when said tanks were visible in the background, no more than a couple hundred yards away from where he held the press conference.
  • Company Denies its Robots Feed on the Dead.
    • POMPANO BEACH, Fla.Ė In response to rumors circulating the internet on sites such as Fox News.com, FastCompany.com and CNET News about a "flesh eating" robot project, Cyclone Power Technologies Inc. and Robotic Technology Inc. would like to set the record straight: This robot is strictly vegetarian.
      • The Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot, or EATR, a prototype military recon robot was designed to fuel itself in the wild by burning biomass for power. Cue Fridge Logic about the kind of "biomass" that you're likely to find lying around in a war zone, and you've got some serious nightmare fuel. Then top it off with the statement from the company a few days later: "We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission."
  • The FBI does its own take on this trope
    • The FBI does not have the original plans for Tesla's Death Ray. In fact, those have been seized by the alien property office.
    Since 1943, we have told a consistent story to all who have asked.
    • Okaaay . . .
  • This[1] faq posted as part of North Korea's official website. 10 through 18 especially
  • Ted Haggard: "I've never said that I'm perfect, but I haven't had sex with a man in Denver."
  • When a corporation registers, it has to state the nature of its business. To allow for expansion, some simply use some variation of "any lawful activity," which sounds an awful lot like this, and sometimes is.
    • First you start out with the legal stuff, then you diversify.
  • This gem, from a 1932 Nazi paper denying they were planning to overthrow the government:
    The next lie aimed against the Nazis will probably be that the Nazis are preparing a march on Switzerland to hang all speculators who fled from Germany and betrayed the German nation!
    • That is true, Switzerland was their only neighbor they didn't invade. note 
  • There are no giant man-eating alligators living in the sewers under New York. Really. They are not eight feet long, they do not have big teeth, and they do not eat homeless people and the garbage that washes down storm drains.
  • George W. Bush, when asked about Cocaine use, replied "I could have passed the [FBI] background check on the standards applied on the most stringent conditions when my dad was president of the United States — a 15-year period", as opposed to Bill Clinton, when asked about an affair with Gennifer Flowers, responded by simply saying "she's lying" without referring to what she was lying about.
  • Anti-spammers are not members of The Lumber Cartel, which is not a secret society to advance the use of tree-made paper for advertising instead of email, its members do not hang out in the Usenet newsgroup news.admin.net-abuse.email, and they certainly never use this trope when referring to the Lumber Cartel.
  • On The Other Wiki, it's been a Running Gag almost since day one that "There Is No Cabal". Generally, the people saying that are presumed to be part of the non-existent Cabal that they're denying the existence of.
  • A billboard advertisement on train stations in the Netherlands says (roughly translated): "Youcom, the telecom provider that won't scam you."
  • "No one has the intention of erecting a wall!" ("Niemand hat die Absicht, eine Mauer zu errichten!") was uttered by General Secretary Walter Ulbricht of the Communist Party of the GDR on June 15 1961 in an international press conference. The subject of the conference was the Berlin sector border, but no one had mentioned anything about putting up a wall on that border before. Two months later, guess what happened!.
  • Conservapedia used to assure you that none of its contributors has mental problems. But that page is gone, so apparently they gave up.
  • As seen on The Daily Show's "This Week in God" segment from the CEO of the NASCAR Dianetics car team: "Dianetics has allowed me to be happy in my life... There was one source to all my problems. It wasn't a million answers, it wasn't a million different possibilities. It wasn't mommy, it wasn't daddy, it wasn't what my twin brother did to me when we were six." Cut to Rob Corddry's horrified reaction.
    "I don't want to do this story anymore. Please, God, make it go away!"
  • The CAPalert.com website used to have the following disclaimer:
    NOT associated with Landover or Westboro Baptist in any way.
  • A few years ago there was an ad on TV in America for a product that quickly applied plastic straps. The idea was that if you had a loose collection of unwieldy items, sticks for example, you could use this product to quickly tie them up into an easy-to-carry bundle. The commercial gave some examples of other possible uses for the product, including "law enforcement", accompanied by an image of a man using the product to bind another man's hands behind his back. A reporter from the Chicago Tribune called the company to ask if they were trying to encourage this kind of use from the product. A spokesperson for the company responded, "We do not endorse or encourage that particular use of the product by anybody who is not a police officer. And I do not torture cats." No one had mentioned cats before then...
  • The contraceptive pill used to be illegal for contraceptive use. It was, however, allowed to regulate heavy periods and other things (such as correcting endometriosis). Some doctors and some women would invoke this trope to prescribe/get a prescription.
    • Similarly, many media outlets won't let commercials and ads for condoms actually say why most people use condoms, to avoid complaints from people opposed to any form of contraception. But hey, they're great for preventing transmission of communicable disease or infection!
    • Likewise, before the Food and Drug Administration was around to regulate medicine, pills were sold to cure headaches, with the disclaimer "for married women": Warning: May cause miscarriage.
  • I leave aside those times in which Cicero used this very technique to mention the disgraces of his enemies' private affairs and then claim the moral high ground by not dwelling on them; indeed, I pass them by and readily allow silence upon them lest such a suspiciously specific denial should be seen to have been used or, what is worse, that he was not called out on it.
  • Greene's a new face in politics, and he don't show porno to college chicks...
  • This can be a great way to discreetly insult people if you can't get away with doing it blatantly (and if they hopefully deserve it).
  • Christine O'Donnell: "I'm not a witch."
    • Some background: She had earlier admitted to dabbling in witchcraft when she was in high school. Still, it seems a bit silly to go on national TV just to assure people that you aren't a witch anymore.
  • Any nation with 'Democratic Republic' in its name. Funny, the countries that definitely aren't oppressive dictatorships don't seem to do that...
  • This strip of Our Valued Customers, which collect real comments from guests at a comic book shop.
  • The Chinese idiom which literally means "there is no silver buried here" refers to this trope. The origin story is that someone who wanted to make sure no one could find his silver made a sign on top of where he buried it, and you can guess what happened later.
    • The quote in question is "There aren't 300 taels of silver buried here." Tradition also has that the thief put up another sign that says "Wong from nextdoor didn't steal it". The guy took Wong to court, except the judge wasn't too bright, so he took the denials literally and ruled for Wong. Yeah.
      • This was referenced in the MMORPG Perfect World, which is partially based on Chinese mythology. At about level 20, when you first get to Archosaur, there's someone in the western district whose money has been stolen. You need to find it for him. In a small clearing nearby, you find a sign saying... "Wong didn't steal." It's pretty easy to figure out where to go from there. (Here's a hint: you go talk to Wong.)
  • Failblog now has a whole tag because so many Suspiciously Specific instructions have been found. Can be viewed here.
    • Oddly Specific used to be its own site before just being a tag.
  • During World War II, British commander Claude Auchinleck wrote a letter to his commanders saying of how the troops were so afraid of Rommel that they were attributing him with superpowers. After several sentences saying how silly these things were, Auchinleck ended the letter with "I am not jealous of Rommel." Sure he wasn't.
  • Almost averted in the tale of the Youth Communication Award. A teenager comes to the front door selling magazine subscriptions for patients at St. Jude Children's Hospital and a chance at a communications scholarship for himself. The fuzzy fine print on the receipt: "No verbal agreement recognized. SYN, Inc. is a for profit company who's (sic) agents are not affiliated with any military, local school, or hospital." Lesson learned.
  • The correction at the end of this New York Times article: "No cows, smuggled or otherwise, ever fell from a plane into a Japanese fishing rig."
  • Articles in the magazine 2600 have disclaimers that they're only for educational purposes, and clearly not for scamming phone companies or hacking into computers.
  • In an impromptu press conference in 1983, Baltimore Colts owner Bob Irsay ranted against accusations that he was about to move the team out of Baltimore. He angrily denied that he was moving the team to Phoenix or Memphis. There was a third rumor which Irsay pointedly never mentioned: Indianapolis. The Colts moved to Indy four months after Irsay's statements.
  • Tim Pawlenty is definitely not gay.
  • On May 19, Atlus sent out a fake June 23, 1999 newsletter to Atlus Faithful. One of the things there is "This Week in News: Absolutely no new games releasing today in Japan"
  • Congressman Anthony Weiner ran right into this trope while trying to wheedle out of a sex scandal involving sending explicit pictures of himself to women through Twitter. Every single statement he made just dug him in deeper and deeper and deeper...Really, he should have known better.
  • Capcom would like you to know that Keiji Inafune leaving had absolutely nothing at all to do with the decision to cancel Mega Man Legends 3.
  • The China Incident. Which the Japanese government quite clearly stated was not a war at all, but rather a border clash that had gotten out of hand. An Incident. Not a war.
  • Any investment scheme that has a section of its sales pitch devoted to "why this is not a pyramid scheme" probably is. Or maybe they are truthful that it isn't a pyramid because it's a Ponzi scheme.
  • In the 70's, Tennessee Governor Ray Blanton said, right out of the blue, on a live TV interview, "I haven't sold a single pardon." Granted he was tipsy, but still...
  • Any email that states "This is not spam" most likely is spam. Same goes for anything claiming to be not a pyramid scheme, 419 scam or similar.
  • In the same way, if a religious group says, "We are not a cult," you may want to do some more research on them before you join.
  • "I worked with Stephen Harper for five years and never once did he, in that time, eat a baby." Hmmm...
  • Any classified job ad that says said job is genuine and legal, or anything similar. Heck, some job companies use this to describe what they're about.
    • Similarly, some "work from home" businesses in the US will tell prospective employees why they have "ethical objections" to registering with the Better Business Bureau - the fact that the BBB would object to the way the companies (mis)treat their employees has nothing to do with it.
  • The website of Hepzibah House (a religious boarding school in Indiana) reassuringly informs parents that none of their students say they experienced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Can't possibly think where CNN might have got that idea....
  • The Global Times, a Chinese newspaper and government mouthpiece, released this headline after China refused to extend the visa of Melissa Chan, an Al-Jazeera correspondent in Beijing: "Chan case not a sign of growing tensions with journalists". Phew! That is so good to know.
  • After a rash of incidents involving cannibalism and/or face-eating, an agency spokesman for the Center for Disease Control stated, "CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)."
  • A certain brand of potato chips (X-tra, sold at least in Finland) have "not produced in Poland, but in Germany" written as their country of origin in the bag.
  • Iran is doing this right now with its nuclear program. They repeatedly claim that their nuclear research is for peaceful energy purposes...but at the same time they won't let any United Nations inspectors into the country to make sure, and are now threatening war with Israel and the US just because Israel is getting ready for war should Iran go too far. You would think that if they weren't using their nuclear program to make missiles, they wouldn't be that jittery.
  • Ten minutes into this interview, Paula Broadwell, author of All In: The Education of David Petraeus, says, apropos of nothing else whatsoever, "I'm not in love with David Petraeus!" Eight months later, it came out that she had been having an affair with him.
  • NASA has declared that the world will not end in December 21, 2012.
    • At least we know they were telling the truth... now. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
  • The interchange between an anchorman and anchorwoman, available here at about 6:30.
    Anchorman: Were you spanked much as a child?
    Anchorwoman: As a child? No.
  • Jimmy Savile said that he didn't have a computer at home, because he didn't want anyone to think he was downloading child porn. Now, why should anyone think that....
  • The Swedish military's recruitment letters of the spring 2013. First paragraph reads as follows (translated) We do not know what you have done today, we do not know what you like to do with your spare time, what your interests are and we do not know what you think is important in life.
  • During the leadup to its activation, spokespeople for the Large Hadron Collider assured the public there was only a very, very small chance they would create a black hole which would destroy the Earth. Funny, guys.
  • This house we're selling is NOT haunted.
  • The Citadel, a planned, libertarian gated community in Idaho with heavy emphasis on Patriotism, Gun ownership and survivalism. Among the FAQ's on their website is "Are You a Bunch of Wackos/Cultists/Racists..etc.?".
  • Senator Rand Paul told an Iowa reporter that he hasn't decided whether to run for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016, but "I am traveling to a lot of states that just coincidentally have early primaries."
  • US Congresswoman Michele Bachmann of Minnesota declares, in May 2013, she won't be seeking reelection in 2014. Her statement reads, ďThis decision was not impacted in any way by the recent inquiries into the activities of my former presidential campaign or my former presidential staff.Ē
  • The NSA is not spying on Americans.
    • In a similar vein, Microsoft, Google, Apple, Facebook and Yahoo absolutely do not give the government backdoor access to their servers. Certainly not without a warrant.
      • This was absolutely true; the NSA just was eavesdropping on them via the people they rented their wire from. When Google engineers were informed of this by The Guardian, they were less than thrilled.
  • I have no problem with the scouts decision to keep the ban on gay scout leaders, but allow gay young men to participate in scouting. Oh, and being gay is not a sin!
    I have no problem with this. While I would have voted against it, if a majority of scouts want that, that is fine with me. Their institution is allowed to evolve as they see fit...
    My son will not be in the scouts. While I have no problem with the scouts allowing in self-identified gay youths, and I believe churches should welcome in gays, I do not believe an organization that works to foster morality and strong character in young men can continue to do so while allowing in young men who identify as gay if the homosexual act is to still be considered a sin.
    To be sure, being gay is not a sin. All of us have temptations. But to act on that temptation and engage in sin, is sinful.
    I am not worried about my children becoming gay. I do not worry about them interacting with and having gay friends. I have gay friends. But I do worry about a society that does not recognize homosexual practice as sin..
    The Boy Scouts of America now begin the winding down of their ability to serve as a moral beacon teaching clear Judeo-Christian morality and while I donít have a problem with them doing it, I do choose now to opt out of considering supporting the Boy Scouts of America.
    • People who qualify a comment about how good a member of the same gender looks with "no homo". Well-satirized by The Lonely Island.
  • More Weird Things Customers Say In Bookshops describes a customer at Ripping Yarns asking for a picture book for her daughter, saying she thinks the writer was E.L. James. When the bookseller delicately explains what E.L. James actually wrote, the flustered customer blurts out "I don't know why that name came into my head! I've never read those books! Never!"
  • We swear this isn't tap water. Honest.
  • UKIP, a UK political party which is seen as on the edge of the mainstream right-wing (and deeply resents being compared to the fascist British National Party, which has actual Neo-Nazis among its most prominent members) often describes itself as a "libertarian, non-racist party". Some people haven't found this as reassuring as UKIP may have hoped.
  • Toronto mayor Rob Ford produced a gem during a city council meeting after he admitted smoking crack "in one of [his] drunken stupors": "I've said it would never happen again, and it has never happened again at Air Canada Centre." The council voted to relieve him of his mayoral powers. Which was the most they could do, because there's no provision for impeachment of the Toronto mayor.
  • "I'm not a racist, but [racist remark]."
    • "I'm not a prude, but [person expresses prudish opinion]."
    • "I don't believe in censorship, but [person advocates censoring something]."
    • "[person says mean thing] I mean that in a nice way, though."
    • Anyone who's worked in customer service long enough has probably heard some variation of "I don't mean to take it out on you," in the midst of a diatribe by a customer over something that the customer service rep didn't do and has no control over.
  • Some of the "Radio Yerevan" jokes from the Soviet era, meant as a parody of a question-and-answer format apparently used on Armenian radio at the time (and often made fun of Communism) went a bit like this for example:
    Q. What is chaos? A. Sorry, we don't answer economic questions.
  • "Attention! This is not a sales call!"
  • In response to internet rumors that his strikingly youthful appearance is caused by being a vampire, singer Pharrell Williams told a reporter, "Iím willing to go on record as saying that I donít drink peopleís blood." Which, as some news reports jokingly pointed out, is exactly what a vampire would say.
  • The official names for the 1989 US military invasion of Panama (Operation Just Cause) and its aftermath (Operation Promote Liberty) had a whiff of this trope, since the invasion had a cool reception from the international community.
  • A warrant canary is a sign by which an organization informs its users that it has not received a secret government subpoena (like a sticker saying "The FBI has not been here", as illustrated in the Wikipedia article). This happens because if the organization actually did receive a secret subpoena, it would be forbidden by law from disclosing this fact, but it still can inform its users of such an event in a roundabout way: by removing the sign.
Western AnimationSuspiciously Specific Denial    

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