Recap / The Nostalgia Critic S 9 E 9

Release: May 3, 2016

Film: Blade

Tagline: It’s the overlooked classic that made comic book movies cool again, but does it hold up as well as it did back then?

This review contains examples of:

• Actor Allusion: The Critic immediately follows his introduction of Blade's actor Wesley Snipes with a clip of the "Phoenix!/Penis!" mondegreen from Demolition Man, where he plays Simon Phoenix.
• Borrowed Catchphrase: The Critic says "symbolism" with less enthusiasm after a shot lingers on a bat figure.
• Captain Oblivious: The Critic acts out a bit where Deacon Frost plots against Blade, while ignoring the "mother of my enemy who he doesn't know is still alive and on my side". He then seemingly has a "Eureka!" Moment... only for him to declare, "I love Oreos!" and starts gobbling some up.
• Cold Opening: The review opens with a sketch where executives from Marvel and DC Comics decide on the kind of tone their entertainment venues will take on following the success of Blade and the failure of DC's Steel. When one of the Marvel executives brings up their comic book plans, the others dismiss them.
• Cowboy BeBop at His Computer: The Critic briefly points out that the movie is one of many comic book movies that are ignored by people that think Deadpool is the first comic book movie with an R-rating. ^{For those curious} The real first one was the 1989 version of The Punisher and the first to hit mainstream success was The Crow (1994), the latter being among the posters shown during this bit.
• Darker and Edgier: Marvel's original plan with their comic movies and TV shows after Blade became a big hit.
• Designated Love Interest: invoked The Critic is actually shocked at the aversion of this trope, as Karen and Blade don't end up as a pair at the end.
• Dull Surprise: The Critic mocks the scene where Blade finds Whistler's body by having the same reaction to other sad scenes.
• Fight Scene Failure: The Critic points out a scene where Dragonetti slapping Frost in the library has his hand not even coming close to his face.
• Fix Fic: After the above aversion of the "Designated Love Interest" trope, the Critic tells Tumblr to rewrite the ending so Blade and Karen get together and have 20 kids with 20 different sexual identities.
• Follow the Leader/Hypocritical Humor: The execs at DC let Marvel have Netflix not only because they think nothing will kill cable, but also because they don't want to copy Marvel.
• Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: NC points out that Karen hits everything except the vampires she's aiming at.
• It Will Never Catch On: How DC feels about Netflix taking over cable.
• Lighter and Softer: DC's plan involving their movies.
• Narm: NC considers Blade fist pumping after staking Quinn to the wall to be this compared to how he acts for the rest of the movie.
• Never Bring A Knife To A Gunfight: NC mocks the one vampire dual wielding swords what happens when you charge at a man carrying a shotgun.
• No One Could Survive That!: The girl getting thrown through the hot dog cart should have been dead before Blade rescues her, making NC think she's a vampire too.
• Parody Commercial: The two halves of the review are divided with an advertisement for "Davides-Goyer Tension Headache" pills promoted by Malcolm.
• Profiling: How NC jokes about Officer Krieger being in Karen's apartment.
  Critic: I heard you were black, so you're under arrest for something.
• Shout-Out: The fight with Blade and Frost has a Ninja Gaiden HUD appear on the screen. Also when Blade finishes off Frost with the serum, NC cries out KANEDAAAAA!!
• Show, Don't Tell: The Critic complains over such moments as Karen making a vampire cure and Frost's gang finding Blade's hideout, both offscreen.
• Subverted Catchphrase: Combined with additional mockery of Blade's Pre-Mortem One-Liner:
  Critic: I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and some Fruit By The Foots are always a few inches short.
• Unusually Uninteresting Sight: The Critic mocks how the people walking on the street don't react to Blade slamming a cop into a car.
  • There's also the opening bloodbath scene where he says blood raining from the sprinklers and people with fangs would be everyday things at a goth club.
  • Another scene like that involves Blade rescuing the girl Frost throws through a hot dog cart and into the path of a bus that Blade rescues.
• What the Hell, Hero?: NC gives this to the internet for people forgetting that Blade was an R-rated comic book movie long before Deadpool (2016) came around.

---

"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill."