Recap / Tales From The Crypt S 5 E 5 People Who Live In Brass Hearses

People Who Live in Brass Hearses

I scream, you scream...

Crypt Keeper: (dressed as a football player and in a huddle with skeletal players; skeletal cheerleaders stand behind him and recite a cheer along with him) Chop 'em to the left! Chop 'em to the right! Chop 'em every chance you get! Fright, fright, fright! (to his teammates) All right, creeps. It's fourth and ghoul. They're probably expecting us to run a ghost pattern, so let’s run a scream pass instead. (cackles) Of course, I could pull out a few other surprises from my playbook, like tonight's tale. It's about a couple of brothers who are planning a little high scaring of their own, in a nasty bit of offense I call: People Who Live in Brass Hearses.

Billy DeLuca (Bill Paxton), an ex-con fresh out of San Quentin after serving two years for embezzlement, recruits his mentally-challenged and slow-witted younger brother Virgil (Brad Dourif) for a job to complete. Billy used to be a vendor for a major ice cream company, selling to the neighborhood kids until a co-worker, Earl Byrd (Michael Lerner), caught him stealing company funds and turned him in to the police. As such, Billy tells Virgil that the pair are going to rob the ice cream company's warehouse blind.

On the day of the robbery, Virgil allows Billy to sneak inside the warehouse as the manager, Ms. Grafungar (Lainie Kazan), meets Earl to restock his truck. Billy decides to kill Earl as an extra helping of revenge, as well as empty his truck's cash box as a bonus. While Billy plans, Virgil slips into Ms. Grafungar's office and gruesomely stabs her over and over with a cargo hook, angered at her constant degradation of him and Billy. When she tries to crawl out of the office and alert someone, Billy is forced to fatally impale her through the head with the hook and drag her out of sight. Having not heard the commotion and getting impatient, Earl drives away, leaving the DeLuca brothers with a fresh corpse and nothing to show for their botched robbery, as Grafungar locked the warehouse's safe before Virgil attacked her and she was the only person who knew the combination.

Deciding that their job shouldn't be a total loss, the brothers drive to Earl's house and ultimately hold him at gunpoint. The horrified Earl claims that he wasn't the one who had the idea to turn Billy in and prepares to tell him and Virgil where his profits are, but Virgil impulsively kills Earl with a shotgun blast, knocking him back through a doorway. As Virgil and the angered Billy start searching the house for the ice cream money, Billy soon discovers a huge stash of bills disguised to look like ice cream boxes in a deep freezer, revealing that Earl had been an even bigger embezzler than Billy was. Billy suddenly gets his lower leg shot off from beyond the doorway where Earl fell. The culprit is revealed to be Earl's crazed conjoined twin brother, fused to his brother's corpse at the spine. The brother reveals that he's already killed Virgil via strangulation with the doorway curtains, then proceeds to beat Billy to death with the blunt end of the shotgun. Sometime later, Earl's twin is shown to have taken over his brother's route and his now-defaced truck, while still attached to Earl's decaying corpse.

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Tropes:

• Actor Allusion:
  • As he and Billy arrive at Earl's house, Virgil can be heard letting out Chucky's distinctive cackle.
  • Virgil also shows very visible signs of being mentally unwell, as Brad Dourif has played a mental patient before.
• An Arm and a Leg: Earl's twin blasts half of Billy's leg off with his own shotgun.
• Attack Hello: Billy makes his return to the warehouse by greeting his former co-worker Cooter, and does so by punching him in the face, breaking his nose in the process.
• Artifact Title: The title refers to how, in the original comic, Mr. Byrd drives a curtained hearse into town to conceal his conjoined twin from the judgmental public.
• Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Even though he keeps snapping at Virgil to stay focused, Billy truly loves his brother and apologizes whenever he gets angry with him.
• Backup Twin: Earl's twin takes over his brother's job and his truck when Virgil kills him. Given that the twin's corpse is still stuck to him, that won't be true for long.
• The Bad Guy Wins: Technically, both bad guys win. Earl's brother manages to get away with embezzling the ice cream money and killing Virgil and Billy, but Earl himself is killed when Virgil shoots him with a shotgun. Since Earl and his brother are Conjoined Twins, Earl's decaying corpse will spell doom for his twin as well, meaning that in the end, Billy did get the revenge he sought.
• Bad Humor Truck: The ice cream truck that Earl drives. His twin brother turns out to have been an even bigger embezzler than Billy, who Earl reported to the police for the same crime. At the end of the episode, his twin, who's killed the DeLuca brothers, takes it over and heavily defaces it.
• Berserk Button:
  • Virgil shows a degree of awareness about the fact that he's mentally disabled, and doesn't take kindly to people calling him a "stupid idiot". If it's Billy, he either cowers, storms away, or argues back. If it's somebody else, he won't hesitate to bloodily kill them.
  • He also doesn't take kindly to people insulting his big brother, such as Ms. Grafungar, who meets the sharp end of a cargo hook.
• Big Brother Instinct / Big Brother Mentor / Big Brother Worship: All three tropes are present in Billy and Virgil's relationship. Billy teaches his little brother about his plan to rob the ice cream warehouse, and Virgil eagerly pays attention to what Billy has to say, idolizing his older brother despite how often he smacks him around. Despite him rebuking his brother for his constant screwups, Billy genuinely treasures Virgil and apologizes when he blows up at him, since they're the only family they have.
• Bookends: The episode begins and ends with someone reading a "Jesse James vs. Predator" comic book.
• Boom, Headshot!: Virgil kills Earl in this way, even though Billy needed Earl to tell them where his money was.
• Brains and Brawn: Billy is the competent planner, while Virgil is the strength-fueled murderer.
• Bury Your Disabled: Earl's twin kills Virgil by strangling him with a curtain rope, regardless of the fact that he's mentally disabled.
• The Cameo: Raushan Hammond, who played Thudbutt, plays Danny, the kid who mouths off to Earl (and his twin) at different points in the episode.
• Cold Cash: Earl's brother is revealed to have hidden a massive amount of cash he stole from the ice cream warehouse in a freezer, the bills themselves stuffed inside empty ice cream boxes.
• Conjoined Twins: Billy thinks that Virgil killed Earl, who, unbeknownst to them, was actually conjoined to a twin brother at the spine. In the end, the twin continues to drive the truck, Earl's decaying corpse still attached.
• Cordon Bleugh Chef: As Ms. Grafungar flirts with Earl, she claims that she knows how to make a mean "potato chip and green bean casserole".
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Billy and Virgil genuinely care about each other, despite their own tendencies to be overly-aggressive and screw up the plan.
• Everyone Has Standards: As Affably Evil as Earl is, treating everyone with politeness, he draws the line at Ms. Grafungar's shameless flirting with him, especially since her flirting reveals that she has... interesting tastes, such as the fact that she bought a lavender pantsuit and knows how to make a mean "potato chip and green bean casserole".
• "Everyone Dies" Ending: It's not shown in the traditional way, but Billy and Virgil have been killed by Earl's twin brother after they killed Earl himself. The twin is soon to die as well, given that he's still attached to his brother's rotting corpse.
• Eviler than Thou: Earl's twin turns out to be an even worse embezzler than Billy, the man who Earl himself sold out to the police for the very same crime. The twin also wastes little time in killing the mentally-challenged Virgil and Billy himself when they find out the truth.
• Evil Twin: Earl is revealed to have an evil conjoined twin fused to his ass, who embezzled way more cash from the ice cream warehouse than Billy did.
• Expy: Billy and Virgil are basically expies of Gilbert and Arnie, as noted below.
• Foreshadowing:
  • Take a look at the scene where Earl entertains the kids with Little Willie. Notice how his lips never move as he supposedly voices the puppet?
  • Billy also happens to notice a hefty pile of bills in Earl's cash box, hinting at the reveal of his twin brother being an even bigger embezzler.
  • At the climax, Earl suddenly moves as if something is pulling him backwards as the DeLucas confront him.
• Friend to All Children: Earl loves giving ice cream to kids and entertaining them with his hand puppet, Little Willie, even presenting Billy's confrontation with him in a gentle way so the kids don't get upset. When Earl's twin takes over at the end, the kids don't seem to hold him with that much respect anymore, with the feeling being mutual on the twin's part.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: Billy has a feisty temper, usually blowing up at Virgil and smacking him around. He quickly calms himself down and apologizes to his brother when this happens, saying that he never means to get angry with him.
  • He also nearly punches Danny right in the face for calling him a "butthead", before he comes to his senses and calms down in front of Earl and the other children.
• Hated by All: Billy tells his little brother that the pair of them are seen as lowlifes and losers by everyone in town, and he aims to rob the ice cream warehouse as a way to give them all the finger.
• Hate Sink: Ms. Grafungar, Billy and Virgil's former/current boss. She screams nearly every line of dialogue she has and ruthlessly insults all her employees, especially the ex-con Billy and the mentally-challenged Virgil, who she actively discriminates against. The only exception to her abuse is Earl, who she shamelessly flirts with.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: Billy and Virgil bring a shotgun with them to kill Earl when they make a backup plan to rob his house. Unfortunately for Billy, he meets his end through the same shotgun, since Early's twin bludgeons Billy to death with it after blowing his lower leg off.
• Homage: The episode is a dark homage to What's Eating Gilbert Grape (which premiered the same year), since it features a man trying to take care of his mentally-disabled brother and keep him focused so they can accomplish their goals. Unlike Gilbert and Arnie, who were decent people, Billy and Virgil are criminals who are looking to rob an ice cream warehouse.
• Horrible Housing: Billy and Virgil's apartment is filled with leftover food containers and other kinds of junk, making it look more like a safehouse than an apartment. Given that Billy is an ex-con, this was likely the intention.
• Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: Billy is an ex-con who shamelessly intends to rob the warehouse he used to work in blind, but at the same time, he's treated as a complete joke by everyone around him and has to put up with a mentally challenged brother who, as much as he loves him, ruins every step of his plan along the way.
• I Warned You: Earl's twin tells Billy this after noting that he just couldn't stop sticking his nose where it didn't belong.
• The Load: As much as Billy loves him, the mentally-challenged Virgil does nothing but cause setbacks for Billy's plan throughout the episode, mainly by senselessly killing people who possess confidential information.
• Mean Boss: Ms. Grafungar, who ruthlessly insults every single one of her employees. She's especially callous of the DeLuca brothers, mocking Billy for being a thief and Virgil for being mentally-challenged. Virgil admits that he hates her to the point of wanting to "hurt her", which, to him, means "stab with a metal hook over and over".
• Mental Handicap, Moral Deficiency: The mentally challenged and childlike Virgil is a vicious murderer who takes great joy in gruesomely killing people, even if his killing sprees ruin his brother's plan. In fairness, he does apologize to Billy when he kills someone when he wasn't supposed to.
• Mouthy Kid: Danny, one of the children who visits Earl's truck, has quite the mouth on him, hurling insults at people who get in his way, as well as just for fun. When he does this to Billy, the ex-con almost cold cocks him.
• Nice Guy: Earl is a good-hearted ice cream man with a strong fondness for kids. His twin brother, on the other hand...
• No Indoor Voice: Ms. Grafungar, to illustrate what a loathed nuisance she is.
• N-Word Privileges: Billy utterly blows up at Virgil in the climax, calling him a "retard" after he kills Earl before he can tell them where his money is.
• Percussive Maintenance: In the opening scene, Billy is seen smacking the TV set so he Virgil can watch cartoons.
• Perverse Puppet: Averted with Earl's hand puppet, Little Willie. The puppet itself is harmless, but the man who supplies its voice is the exact opposite.
• Pet the Dog: Billy truly loves his mentally-challenged brother, and never means to be so abusive to him, comforting the poor guy when he gets upset. There's even one scene early in the episode where, after causing Virgil to drop his ice cream, Billy gives Virgil his own ice cream to make up for it.
• Pistol-Whipping: Earl's twin kills Billy by bludgeoning the thief with his own shotgun.
• The Plan: Billy forms one to rob the ice cream warehouse he used to work at, and he goes over the steps again and again with Virgil (who still works there) to make sure that he understands what he needs to do. Unfortunately, the plan falls apart when Virgil impulsively kills Ms. Grafungar, the distraction costing Billy the chance to nab Earl's cash box. Virgil didn't even open the safe before he killed Ms. G, insisting that Billy was the one to open it.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: Ms. Grafungar isn't an outright villain, but she's blatantly prejudiced against Virgil for being mentally-disabled, calling him a "stupid idiot".
• Pre-Mortem One-Liner: Earl's twin gives Billy one, just before he kills him.
  Billy: Go to hell, you freak!
  Earl's Twin: (in a deathly quiet whisper) You first.
• Psychopathic Manchild: Virgil has the mental capacity of a little boy, spending his time reading comic books and watching cartoons. Despite this, he's also a bloodthirsty murder who loves killing people, particularly those who offend him and his brother.
• Pyrrhic Victory: The trope goes both ways.
  • On one hand, Billy got his revenge, but he didn't live long enough to enjoy it.
  • On the other hand, Earl's twin may have avenged his brother's death, but since they're Conjoined Twins and he's carrying literal dead weight on his back, his days are numbered.
• Shout-Out:
  • The comic book that Virgil reads in the opening scene of the episode is called "Jesse James vs. Predator." This also doubles as an Actor Allusion since Bill Paxton, who plays Billy, previously faced off against a Predator in Predator 2, and would go on to play Jesse's brother Frank in Frank and Jesse, which would be released the year after this episode aired (Virgil even compares himself and Billy to Frank and Jesse themselves).
  • Virgil later tells Billy that he and Cooter talked about whether Darth Vader, Robocop, or The Munsters would win in a fight against each other.
  • In the opening scene, the DeLuca brothers are seen watching Jerky Turkey on their TV.
• Stealing from the Till: Two years ago, Billy was fired and arrested for embezzling funds from the ice cream warehouse. During their robbery of Earl's house, Billy and Virgil discover that Earl's conjoined twin had embezzled a metric ton more cash than Billy.
• Strange Minds Think Alike: At the end of the episode, Earl's twin is seen reading the same comic book Virgil was reading at the beginning.
• Talking to the Dead: Earl's twin tells his brother's rotting corpse how Danny just said they suck/smell.
• Tattooed Crook: Billy has various tattoos on his arms and chest, illustrating that he's a thief who's done two years in jail.
• Time for Plan B: After Virgil blows his and Billy's chance to rob the ice cream warehouse, Billy moves onto a backup plan: heading over to Earl's house and stealing the contents of his cash box.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Billy really likes butter, to the point where he eats a whole stick of it straight from the fridge as a snack. He also loves anything that's made with butter, ordering butterscotch ice cream from Earl's truck after being told that he doesn't have butternut, butter brickle, or buttermilk on the flavor list. As he leaves with his ice cream, he gives a stick of butter to Danny, the wiseass boy who insulted him earlier.
• Twin Switch: Earl's evil twin brother takes over the ice cream truck after Virgil kills Earl himself.
• Ventriloquism: Earl's puppet act to the children has shades of this, especially while Little Willie tells a joke to the kids as Earl drinks a frozen fruit drink.
• Villain with Good Publicity: Despite being attached to a criminal twin brother, Earl is beloved by the neighborhood children for his jolly attitude and tasty frozen treats. After Earl is killed and his twin takes over the truck, the relationship that the kids had with him sours considerably.
• Villain Protagonist: Billy, the embezzler and ex-con who aims to get revenge on the ice cream man who turned him into the police.
• "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: As seen at the end of the episode, and described by the Crypt Keeper, Earl's brother stayed in the ice cream business and actually did pretty well.
• Would Hurt a Child: Billy almost punches Danny, a smartass kid, right in the face for calling him a butthead, but he manages to control himself at the last second.

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Crypt Keeper: (still in his team huddle) Shame about Billy and Virgil, but you know what they say, kiddies: Two deads are better than one! (snickers) And as for Byrd, he stayed in the ice cream business, and did very well. Everyone loves Ben and Scary's! (cackles) Well, I gotta get back to my practice. Next week, we're playing the Washington Dread-skins. (to his teammates) 45! 22! 33! Hut! Hut! Hut! (accidentally rips off one of the players' hands) You idiot! I didn't call for a handoff! (cackles)