Seance
Who's really getting swindled here?
(a door reading "Crypt Keeper Investigations - No Headstone Left Unturned" is seen)
Crypt Keeper: (in voiceover; speaking in a private eye voice) It was another one of those hot L.A. days. Things were about to get interesting... when she walked in. (the door opens to reveal him dressed in a fedora and trench coat and sitting at a desk) Her name was Samantha, and she was beautiful. A regular corpus delecti with a great chest... cavity, that is. Something in her socket said "Beware." Must've been the way she said "hello" to me. (to Samantha) So, sweetheart. You say your husband's been cheating on you with another ghoul? That it? Well, I'll be glad to hear your story, but first, I've got a tawdry tale of my own to tell. It's about a couple of scam artists who want to make a killing, providing they don't kill each other first. I call it: Seance.
Allison Peters and Benjamin Poloski (Cathy Moriarty and Ben Cross) are a pair of con artists who have spent years working together in the hopes of making a big score. Things between them are strained at this point since Benny grew a heart, something that a swindler is worthless with, so they're preparing to pull off their last job together before they go their separate ways. The job in question has the pair planning to swindle wealthy tycoon Prescott Chalmers (John Vernon) out of his fortune with an elaborate ruse about a long-lost dead uncle, with Benny playing the lawyer of said uncle and Allison playing a long-lost cousin of Prescott. Prescott ultimately discovers the ruse, and is accidentally killed by a faulty elevator while the pair are too busy arguing to stop it. Allison and Benny then meet Prescott's blind and highly-spiritual wife Dorothy (Ellen Crawford), who gives them a backup plan for obtaining the money: pretending to be spiritual advisors and holding a mock séance to convince Dorothy to give them her husband's fortune. Little are the pair aware that there are grave consequences for toying with the powers that be.
Tropes:
- Asshole Victim:
- Allison meets a grisly end for her nefarious ways, particularly trying to con the blind Dorothy Chalmers, whose husband she let die, out of her rightful fortune.
- Benny also dies for his role in Allison's capers, but in his case, the trope is downplayed, since he's portrayed more sympathetically than her and really did intend on going straight.
- Bait-and-Switch:
- The trope is directly addressed by Prescott's ghost when he takes Benny's place, proceeding to show that the briefcase he holds has not only the money, but Benny's severed head.
- The opening scene has Allison playing the spiritual advisor and asking Prescott's ghost to appear. Nothing happens, prompting her to call for Benny and revealing that they're a pair of con artists rehearsing a mock séance.
- Bank Robbery: Allison and Benny's scheme has them informing Prescott that his uncle Albert Peters, who was supposedly thought to have died in a train derailment as a child, actually stole $200,000 from a bank, spent 20 years in jail, started a new business and a family after his release, and put the stolen money (inflated to $3 million in the present day) in an account listed under an assumed name so he could pass it on to any of his surviving relatives.
- Beat Still, My Heart: The episode ends with Allison's heart shown to be still beating after Prescott's ghost rips it out of her body.
- Bittersweet Ending: Prescott ends up dead, but he comes back from the grave to save his wife's new inheritance and kill the sociopathic con woman partly responsible for his dilemma.
- Benny, who genuinely wanted to turn his life around, is unfortunately killed in the process.
- Blackmail: While Allison has sex with Prescott, she has Benny hiding in the closet to take pictures of them in the act, just in case the con doesn't go through. Though the pictures were to be used for exposing Chalmers' infidelity, it's revealed that his wife is blind, so it never would've worked.
- Break the Haughty: Allison, when she sees what's in the briefcase and who exactly is wearing the cloak.
- Cassandra Truth: Madame Leona warns Allison and Benny that the spirits are not to be toyed with. Allison responds by knocking her out with a Pistol Whip before keeping the mock séance going.
- Catchphrase: Allison has "Jesus Christ in a cardigan sweater!", which she utters when pissed off. It's also the last thing she says before she dies.
- Cold Ham: Allison keeps her cold and blunt attitude for the whole episode, unless she's aggravated enough.
- Cruel and Unusual Death: After coming back as a ghost, Prescott plunges his hand into Allison's chest and pulls her still-beating heart out as she lays dying.
- Deadpan Snarker: For all his nice guy "wanna go legit" attitude, Benny keeps pelting Allison with one zinger after another.Allison: Piece of cake. I can imitate her.
Benny: Yeah? See if you can imitate a dame with scruples. - The Dog Bites Back: Prescott, the man who Allison and Benny were working to fleece for all he's got and watched as he died, returns from beyond the grave to exact bloody revenge on both of them.
- Dramatic Unmask: When Prescott pulls back the hood he was using as his ghost "costume".
- Due to the Dead: After Prescott dies, Benny insists on showing some respect for him, scolding Allison for not doing so. He also givesDorothy her late husband's cane as a show of respect.
- Dull Surprise: This is Prescott's default emotion, even when he realizes that he's being swindled and blackmailed with incriminating photos by a pair of hustlers.
- Elevator Failure: A malfunctioning elevator kills Prescott by crushing him. Before it does that, it's above his floor, so he steps into the shaft without looking and plummets right to the bottom.
- "Eureka!" Moment: After revealing that she's blind, Dorothy announces that she's going to see Madame Leona to contact her husband's ghost and ask him what to do with the money she's inherited. Allison and Benny look towards each other in satisfaction (well, satisfactory for Allison, anyway).
- Everyone Has Standards: Ever since he gained his conscience, Benny has been having serious misgivings over his and Allison's way of life, wanting to quit the con jobs and go straight. Allison's nonchalantly letting an innocent man die, then trying to bilk the man's blind widow out of her inheritance, are only a couple of reasons why Benny can't wait to get this job over with and turn his life around. The same can be said for Madame Leona, who rebukes their plans for her as disgusting.
- Evil Sounds Deep: The utterly villainous Allison has a rather deep voice for someone as attractive as herself.
- Exact Words: As he looks over the blackmail photos Benny took of him and Allison, Prescott remarks, "My wife will never see these." Allison and Benny don't know the meaning of this until they meet Dorothy at the police station, where it's revealed that she's blind.
- Failed a Spot Check: Prescott's death partially comes from when he steps into an elevator shaft and plummets to the bottom, not even noticing that the elevator was missing.
- Fatal Flaw: For Allison, it's her greed. Not only does it drive her to commit horrible deeds, but it also keeps her from knowing when to quit. At the police station, Benny advocates that they be on their best behavior just so they can walk away, but seeing Dorothy with the suitcase full of her hubby's money prompts Allison to embark on the scheme that brings about her own death.
- Femme Fatale: Allison is a textbook example, being an attractive and manipulative woman who doesn't care who she has to screw or kill to get what she wants.
- Flashback: The episode starts before the mock séance that leads to Allison and Benny gruesomely dying. As Benny reminisces on how things came to this, the episode flashes back a week earlier, showing how things got this way.
- Foreshadowing:
- When Benny climbs into his hiding spot before the séance, it suddenly shakes. Sounding a bit different, "Benny" claims to have slipped, then refers to Allison as "beautiful", which we soon see is how Prescott described her upon their first meeting.
- As he enters the office, Prescott apologizes for being late, saying that the elevator is broken. Later on, he absentmindedly steps into the shaft when the car is several floors above him, just before it crushes him to death.
- Gilligan Cut: As soon as Dorothy tells Allison and Benny that she's meeting Madame Leona, the duo share a look of respective anticipation and fear. Cut to Madame Leona tied up and warning the duo that the spirit world is nothing to screw with before being pistol-whipped unconscious.
- Gone Horribly Right: After tying up and knocking out Madame Leona, Allison pretends to be her to conjure a fake séance, with Benny pretending to be the spirit of Prescott to fool Dorothy into giving them her newfound money. Unfortunately, her pretending actually manages to bring the real Prescott back from the dead, allowing him to get revenge on Allison and Benny.
- How We Got Here: The episode starts just before the mock séance that leads to Allison and Benny's deaths. As Benny's voice reflects on how things came to this, the episode flashes back to a week earlier, showing just how things came to this.
- I Warned You: Madame Leona warns Allison and Benny of the dangers that come with messing with the spirit world. Allison merely pistol whips her and pays for it. Big time.
- Kissing Cousins: Allison pretends to be a distant cousin of Prescott, and later seduces him as part of her and Benny's plot to gain his fortune. Prescott even notes the trope as she goes in for the kill.
- Meaningful Echo: After violently ripping Allison's heart out of her chest, Prescott reminds her, "You ain't got no heart!"
- The Millstone: Benny. Ever since he gained a conscience, the worst thing for a con artist to have, he's bungled a few jobs that he and Allison have pulled in the past. He manages to mess up their con to get Prescott's money by absentmindedly singing the song Allison and Prescott were making love to (since he was hiding in the closet to snap incriminating photos of them), allowing Prescott to realize he's being conned.
- Murder by Inaction: Prescott dies after he falls down an elevator shaft and is crushed by the malfunctioning elevator. Allison watches him fall and sees the car coming, but she doesn't do a thing to stop it. Granted, that's partially because she was in the middle of a huge argument with Benny at the time, who tries to stop the elevator himself, but fails.
- Nice Guy: Benny. Once a successful scam artist, he recently grew a heart and had a pretty big change in attitude. The only reason he agrees to swindle Prescott and put on the fake séance with Allison, who he can no longer stand working with, is because this will be the last time they'll work together. Tragically, Prescott's ghost beheads him, even though he really did want to go straight.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: The Crypt Keeper's private eye voice has hefty shades of Humphrey Bogart.
- Noir Episode: The Crypt Keeper's framing segments play this to the hilt, since he dresses and acts like a private investigator talking to a client. The episode proper plays it less so, though it does use a lot of noir tropes, such as Allison being a Femme Fatale who seduces Prescott and is quite content to kill.
- Not-So-Phony Psychic: Madame Leona, Dorothy Chalmers' spiritual advisor, is dismissed by Allison as running a con, but it turns out that she and her operation are legit.
- Off with His Head!: What Prescott's ghost does to Benny, shoving his head into the briefcase to show Allison.
- One Last Job: It's stated that Benny and Allison's scam on Prescott will be the last con they pull off as a team, with Allison promising that they'll go their separate ways after it's done.
- Our Ghosts Are Different: Prescott's ghost looks just as he died: mangled and bloody.
- Pistol Whip: Allison does this to Madame Leona, who warns her and Benny not to toy with the powers that be.
- Posthumous Narration: Benny's voice is heard wondering how exactly he got into this mess after Prescott's ghost kills him, which sets off the plot chronologically.
- Skewed Priorities: After Prescott falls down the elevator shaft, Benny wants Allison to find a way to help him, but Allison tears into him for blowing their opportunity to get his money. The pair's resulting argument keeps them from discovering that the elevator car has started moving. Benny tries in vain to stop it, but it promptly crushes poor Prescott.
- The Sociopath: Allison isn't afraid to kill, assault, or detain whoever's in her way to get what she wants. She lets Prescott die after he accidentally falls down the elevator shaft and watches as he's crushed by the malfunctioning elevator. She is then willing to con his blind wife Dorothy out of her newly-inherited money by having Benny dress as her husband's spirit and telling her to give Allison the money. Ever since he grew his conscience, Benny can't stand the way she runs things, outright telling her that she "ain't got no heart." Madame Leona, tied up by the purely evil woman, even tells her that she wears her wickedness like an overcoat.
- Spooky Séance: Benny and Allison end up holding a phony séance to fool Dorothy out of her newly-inherited riches. They get what's coming to them when the séance turns into the real thing.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Benny and Allison used to make a solid team in the past, but their partnership became strained after the former grew a conscience. He's regularly expressing reservations about what they do for a living and botched a couple of jobs in the past, which leaves Allison constantly berating him, while he's just as quick to yell at her for going too far. Their scam on Prescott is stated to be the last time they're working together before heading their separate ways, and as such, Benny can't wait to get it over with.
- Tempting Fate:
- Despite the fact that she pulls a gun on him, Prescott openly doubts that Allison is capable of murder. While she doesn't kill him directly (thanks in large part to Benny's interference), she doesn't bat an eye over leaving him to be crushed by the faulty elevator.
- Once he and Allison are allowed to leave the police station, Benny says that he's leaving town, telling Allison that he'll see her in the next life. Come the end of the episode, that's just what happens.
- This Is Gonna Suck: Allison's face dons this expression when Benny starts reciting the song she and Chalmers were making love to in front of him.
- This Is Unforgivable!: Ahead of their con job regarding Dorothy, Benny feels that neither he nor Allison deserve to walk away after a lifetime of swindling. Prescott's ghost certainly agrees.
- Together in Death: In the end, the Crypt Keeper muses that Benny and Allison will probably get together now, given that they're both dead.
- Token Good Teammate: Benny used to be a pretty effective con artist when he worked with Allison, but he recently grew a heart and started having second thoughts about his line of work, telling Allison that neither of them deserve to walk away free for the lifetime of swindling they've done. Despite the fact that he's aching to go straight, Chalmers still tears his head off.
- Understatement: When Prescott reveals himself to Allison and shows off his mangled face, Dorothy asks what's going on. Her frightened servant remarks that Prescott is looking a bit peaked.
- Wham Shot: When the person who appears to be Benny opens the briefcase... revealing the real Benny's severed head.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Allison's biggest fear is dying broke. She even reminds Benny of a recurring nightmare where she ends up doing just that in a place called "Monkey Island", which, according to her, is the place in the afterlife where all the "loser cons" end up. Combined with her own sociopathy and greed, this is why she just can't walk away from a possible score.
Crypt Keeper: (in his private eye voice) Well, maybe Al and Benny will finally get together now. After all, two deads are better than one! As for Sam, it turned out she was right. Her husband was cheating on her, with a zombie he'd met on a business trip... out to the ghost. In the end, I decided to let Sam handle things her own way. (the camera zooms out to reveal a dead woman on the desk, with a skeleton dressed as a woman looming over the body with a knife) Go ahead... slay it again, Sam! (the skeleton stabs the body; he cackles)
