Dig That Cat... He's Real Gone
At a carnival sideshow, the barker/owner (Robert Wuhl) presents "Ulric the Undying" (Joe Pantoliano), a performer who will be Buried Alive for 12 hours. After he is buried, Ulric speaks to the viewers, noting that he'll die, but won't stay dead.
Ulric then flashes back to when his career first started, back when he was a homeless bum sleeping in a cardboard box. A Mad Scientist, Dr. Emil Manfred (Gustav Vintas), approaches the slumbering Ulric and pays him a large sum of money to take part in an experimental surgery. Dr. Manfred explains how he discovered that cats possess a unique gland in their brains which gives them their infamous nine lives, and intends to surgically graft one of these glands into a human subject's brain to give them limited immortality. Ulric awakens from the operation to find it was a complete success, albeit at the expense of a cat's life. As a final test, Manfred shoots and kills Ulric, who revives almost instantly and becomes convinced that he's been given the opportunity to cheat death.
Needing more funds for his research, Manfred persuades Ulric to join the local sideshow and turn over a portion of his earnings to him. During his first show, he is submerged in a tank of water for a full hour, reviving after initially sitting motionless for a few minutes once the tank is drained. The spectacle draws the attention of a showgirl named Coralee (Kathleen York), and the two begin a relationship, with Coralee assisting Ulric in his next show - death by hanging.
Deciding that he no longer wants to split the take with the doctor, Ulric crashes his car while driving Manfred across town, killing both of them. Ulric comes back to life and avoids suspicion, but his next show (an electrocution) is a close call, as he revives only as coroners are about to embalm him. In the show after this, Ulric sets himself up as a target for customers to shoot in the heart with a crossbow at $1,000 per shot. He gets an arrow through the heart and dies, but arranges for Coralee to bribe the police so she can keep his body long enough for him to revive.
Sometime later, Coralee stabs Ulric to death and flees with all his money, and once he revives, the incensed Ulric blackmails the barker into letting him have all the profits from his last show, the live burial shown at the start of the episode. Once in the coffin, Ulric reflects on his career as "the Undying", thinking that this show will set him up for life and wishing that Manfred's cat didn't have to die in order to make it possible.
Then, in a harrowing realization, he remembers that the cat's death used up one of its nine lives - leaving him with only EIGHT after the gland transplant. Having died a combined seven times (shooting, drowning, hanging, car crash, electrocution, crossbow, stabbing), he is down to his last life and will not revive this time. He frantically pounds on the coffin's lid and screams to be let out, but no one can hear him. A pair of workers claim to hear something, but they write it off as a stray cat as Ulric suffocates to death. After his death, a stray cat is shown sitting on Ulric's makeshift grave.
Tropes:
- Abusive Parents: A father at the carnival tries to goad his son into shooting Ulric when he clearly doesn't want to. When he fumbles the shot, the dad accuses the son of missing on purpose and rebukes him for being a softie.
- Adaptational Nice Guy: In the show, Dr. Manfred is shocked and terrified as Ulric kills him in the car crash. In the comic, the doc had a strange smile on his face before he died, implying he knew about Ulric actually having eight lives instead of nine and knows Ulric just screwed himself over at least a bit, which Ulric noted in his dying words.
- Alas, Poor Yorick: The Crypt Keeper does this during his closing scene, reflecting on Ulric's fate.
- Amusement Park of Doom: Downplayed. The carnival Ulric works in appears to be relatively decent, all things considered, being staffed with a variety of entertainers, having no shortage of merchandise to sell, and the barker is very good at his job. But one has to question the ethical value of killing a man for peoples' entertainment, regardless of him coming back to life.
- Asshole Victim: Even if he did feel a little bad for killing Manfred, Ulric definitely got what he deserved for his greed.
- Attack on the Heart: Ulric's sixth death involves standing behind a moving cutout of a bear with a hole cut out right above his ticker, where guests can pay a whole grand for one crossbow bolt to shoot him with. The guest who finally nails him is stated to be an archery champion at a state fair.
- Big "NO!": Ulric, when Dr. Manfred tests to see if his surgery worked by shooting him. When Ulric revives, he wakes up screaming it again.
- Blackmail: Ulric threatens the barker with dropping out of his final performance unless he's given all the profits.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Ulric does this through the episode.
- Buried Alive: Ulric's last death involves him being buried alive for twelve hours. Only after he finishes narrating his life story to the audience does he realize that he has made a fatal miscalculation, and he only had eight lives (the death of the cat that gave him his gland counting as the first one) instead of nine. He starts pounding on the coffin, but by then, he's too deep underground for anyone to hear him.
- Cats Have Nine Lives: Indeed they do, as a result of a specific gland in their brains. With Ulric's "assistance", Dr. Manfred figures out how to graft the gland into a person's brain and give them the ability of temporary immortality. All goes smoothly, except that the cat loses one life in the process.
- Chekhov's Gun: After Ulric's surgery, we see Manfred's dead cat under a blanket as the doc talks about Ulric's new lives. It's a subtle clue to viewers that the cat died in order for the transplant to occur, meaning Ulric only has eight lives instead of nine.
- Creator Cameo: Richard Donner, director of the episode, is the man with glasses in the front row chanting Ulric's name during the live burial. Incidentally, his wife Lauren Shuler Donner is sitting right next to him.
- Creepy Circus Music: A given, since the setting is a carnival.
- Cut Lex Luthor a Check: We get that Manfred may have needed more funds for his research, yet it's never stated why he couldn't just think of a better way to make cash off of Ulric than displaying him as a sideshow attraction.
- Denser and Wackier: With the carnival music, over-the-top characters, zany sound effects, and goofy transitions, this episode proves itself to be one of the wackiest in the series.
- Didn't Think This Through: Ulric realizes too late that he forgot about the death of the cat that gave him his gland, which means he's already used up all his extra lives.
- Dies Differently In The Adaptation: Well, died differently the first few times. Both the comic and TV Ulrics deliberately crash their car to bump off Dr. Manfred and died for good by suffocating in the coffin, but Comic!Ulric's other deaths were in some different stunts, such as swimming off Niagara Falls, jumping out of an airplane, or being tied up in a sack and thrown into a river for hours. Also, Comic!Ulric is murdered by someone he hired to attend his body after killing Dr. Manfred, while in the TV version, it's Coralee that does him in.
- Dramatic Irony: Ulric's pleas to be let out of his coffin are intercut with two carnival workers discussing the stunt, with one absolutely certain this is all fake and that no one is in any danger of dying.
- Drowning Pit: Ulric's first show/second death, where he's chained up Houdini-style inside a tank that fills with water.
- Dumb Blonde: Averted with Coralee, the carnival showgirl Ulric falls in love with. While she does have the mannerisms and personality of said trope, she's a natural redhead whose blonde hair is a wig.
- Dying Candle: As Ulric suffocates, the candle in his coffin goes out.
- Evil Old Folks: That old lady was way too eager to fry Ulric in his fifth death...
- Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: The episode ends with Ulric (having been Buried Alive for his final stunt) bemusing on how when he's dug up, he's going to be set for life. He also sadly remarks on the fate of the cat that originally owned his gland. Said fate being that it died, meaning it lost a life. Ulric realizes all too late that he only had eight lives, and that he's going to die permanently in this last stunt.
- Flashback-Montage Realization: Ulric expressing regret over how Manfred's cat causes him to think back to its body after the operation, and realizing the horrible truth.
- Gold Digger: Really, why else would Coralee want to be with Ulric? Certainly not for his "charming" personality.
- High-Voltage Death: Ulric's fifth death is an electrocution, where a little old lady in the audience wins a raffle to throw the switch. It takes him quite a bit longer to revive from this death compared to the others, popping back up as he's on a slab in the morgue and frightening the hell out of the coroners.
- Hope Spot: As Ulric panics over his impending fate, one of the carnival workers thinks that he heard something. He and his buddy agree that it was just a cat and walk off.
- How We Got Here: Ulric's narration reflects on how he ultimately ended up buried alive.
- I Call Him "Mister Happy": Coralee calls Ulric's dick "Mr. Friendly" as they have sex.
- In the Back: Coralee jabs Ulric in the back with her nail file in order to steal his money.
- It Runs on Nonsensoleum: Ulric gets his new lives by having the gland that allows said lives removed from a cat and grafted into his brain.
- Karma Houdini: Coralee stabs Ulric to death, and before he revives, she swipes all the money Ulric made up to that point, getting off scot-free.
- Large Ham: The carnival barker revels in ham when introducing Ulric's stunts to the audience. He's far more subdued in private, though.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: When giving Ulric his cut for the crossbow stunt, the barker mentions one of the checks is from HBO (the show's network).
- Mad Scientist: Dr. Manfred, who manages to discover the secret of (limited) immortality through cats.
- Mundane Utility: Once he finds out that he has the ability to temporarily return from the dead, Ulric and Manfred quickly sell the former out as a carnival attraction.
- Nightmare Fetishist: A huge number of people come to the carnival to watch Ulric be killed multiple times.
- Nothing Personal: Coralee says this while pocketing all of Ulric's money and stabbing him to death. Ulric, of course, doesn't feel the same.
- Oh, Crap!: Ulric, by the episode's end, when he does the math and realizes he doesn't have any more lives left.
- Pet the Dog: While reflecting on the episode's events, Ulric wishes that Manfred's cat didn't have to die in order to make his career as "The Undying" possible.
- Reed Richards Is Useless: Obviously, the nine lives treatment is best put to use in show business. It's not like there are any aging billionaires out there who would pay through the nose for a guarantee that they'd survive their next eight heart attacks. And of course, the military would have no interest in soldiers that the enemy would have to kill eight times before they died. Nope -- sideshows, that's where it's at.
- Resurrective Immortality: Cats actually can return to life nine times, thanks to a unique gland in their brains. Ulric has one of these glands grafted into his own brain, giving him the temporary ability to return from the dead.
- Shooting Gallery: Ulric's sixth death has him hide behind a cardboard cut out of a bear, where contestants are challenged to shoot him in the heart with a crossbow.
- Shout-Out:
- The sailor who doesn't have enough cash to shoot Ulric in the heart is called "Popeye" as he's ushered away.
- The barker calls Manfred "Strangelove" as the latter explains Ulric's abilities to him.
- The Stinger: After the candle goes out on Ulric's frantic banging, we get a brief shot of a cat standing over his grave.
- Too Dumb to Live: If Ulric wasn't so blinded by greed, he could've at least kept Dr. Manfred alive. That way, once the remaining lives run out, he could just get the doc to experiment on another cat to gain more lives.
- Villain Protagonist: Ulric is not the kind of character to root for, given how he's willing to kill for the sake of making a profit.
- Whole Episode Flashback: The whole episode has Ulric flashing back to the day he first got his new lives.
- You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Ulric decides that he doesn't want to split his earnings from the sideshow with Dr. Manfred anymore, so he kills them both in a car crash. Of course, while Ulric gets better, Manfred does not.
