Bully! A challenge! I love competition!
Theodore Roosevelt
After a long stint as the host of ERB News, US President Theodore Roosevelt (played by Lloyd Ahlquist) jumps into the fray against a similarly-regarded historical figure, UK Prime Minister Winston Churchill (played by Dan Bull.)
- Actor Allusion: Churchill describes Roosevelt as "a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles packet".
- The Alcoholic: Churchill drank heavily in life, which is reflected here, and hints he might be drunk while rapping.Roosevelt: Don't go toe-to-toe with me, you bloated drunk old man!
Why don't you do-si-do on over to a 12-step program? - America Won World War II:
- Roosevelt seems to think the USA did most of the heavy lifting, if his line about Pearl Harbor is anything to go by.
- In Churchill’s opinion, Britain Won World War II. He brags about "saving the planet from an Axis of darkness". Roosevelt counters by claiming that the USA did more fighting (and spending) than Britain by far, even saying that Britain should change his poster to "Keep Calm and Kiss My Cousin's Ass". note
- Animal Motifs: Churchill compares himself to a bulldog and Roosevelt to the Teddy bears that were named after him, but TR himself points out he's a Bull-Moose.
- Ascended Extra: Roosevelt started out as an announcer for ERB, but he eventually got his own rap battle.
- Badass Boast:
- Badass in a Nice Suit:
- Roosevelt raps in a spiffy black suit.
- Churchill wears his hat and his own three-piece suit while he talks about helping fight the Nazis during World War II.
- Boisterous Bruiser: Roosevelt’s very first line: "Bully, a challenge! I love competition!"
- Brief Accent Imitation: Not even Teddy Roosevelt is above this when rapping against a Brit."Everyone knows you're at home like 'thank god for Pearl Harbor'!"
- The Cameo:
- George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln appear in Roosevelt’s background during Churchill's second verse.
- John Schrank, the guy who tried and failed to assassinate TR in real life, shows up just before Roosevelt’s last verse and shoots him in the chest. Much like in real life, it doesn’t work.
- Catchphrase: Roosevelt uses three: his “What's up, bitches?!" from ERB news, and his Real Life "Bully!" (an exclamation roughly meaning "great" or "terrific") and "A bullet can't stop a bull moose!".
- Challenge Seeker: Roosevelt claims to "love competition".
- Cigar Chomper: Churchill starts his first verse asking for a cigar, and later admits that he's a chain smoker.
- Cool Old Guy: Churchill became prime minister at 66 and he holds his own against a much younger-looking (though actually older) Roosevelt.
- Determinator:
- Teddy gets shot in the chest toward the end of the battle and shrugs it off so he can continue his rap battle. This was based on an actual event.
- Churchill displays a refusal to submit even in his final line.
I'll battle to the end and I will never surrender! - Drunken Master: Churchill claims to have come to the battle sloshed and yet he still orders another large glass before boasting how quickly he's going to defeat Roosevelt.
- Egomaniac Hunter: Roosevelt wonders where he'd mount Winston's head on his wall, given his space is fairly filled up.
- Face of a Thug: Churchill’s face is grim enough that Teddy uses up a couple of lines on it just like Tony Hawk did earlier."I mean for Christ's sake! Look at that mug! At least grow a spruce mustache and cover part of it up!"
- General Failure: Roosevelt considers Churchill a subpar commander, saying he's drastically overrated and specifically citing the Gallipoli Campaign as proof.note
- Handicapped Badass: Being born asthmatic and nearsighted did not prevent Roosevelt from becoming a soldier and then President.
- Hypocrite:
- Churchill alludes to the premature deaths of Roosevelt's parents (and first wife, Alice Lee, and younger brother Elliott and sister-in-law Anna [his niece Eleanor's parents]). His own father died at the age of 45.
- Irony: Verbal.
- Roosevelt calls Churchill an 'old man', whereas in reality Roosevelt was 16 years older while their lives overlapped (Churchill outlived Roosevelt by 46 years). Given they're both taken from their most famous period this makes more sense as Roosevelt was way younger as president (42) than Churchill was as prime minister (66).
- Roosevelt also boasts about "busting a 'trust fund lush'"; while Churchill was actually an Impoverished Patrician who worried about money for most of his life and his prolific and famed writing career came from solely from that need, Roosevelt was from an extremely wealthy family himself and never once worried about his finances.
- Kick the Dog: Churchill mocks the deaths of Roosevelt's family members. Roosevelt in turn mocks Churchill for being figuratively and emotionally abandoned by his parents.
- Large Ham: Roosevelt is extremely loud and over the top even by the standards of this series.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Churchill remarks that his opponent looks like EpicLLOYD, the rapper playing him.
- Made of Iron:
- Teddy Roosevelt takes a bullet to the chest during the battle and keeps going. In the real life incident it was based on, he was helped out by a Pocket Protector of his glasses case and the folded-up papers of a really long speech. Which he then delivered as if he hadn't just been shot.
- Churchill brags that while Teddy was born asthmatic and died relatively young despite being a fitness nut and outdoorsman, he is healthy enough to keep trucking despite drinking heavily and "getting up every morning to chain smoke cigars". In Real Life, Roosevelt died at 60. The most heroic and memorable part of Churchill's life came after the age of 66, and he lived to age 90.
- Manchild: Churchill calls Roosevelt "an overgrown Boy Scout."
- Nobody Loves the Bassist: Churchill uses the Mount-Rushmore-as-a-band metaphor by comparing Mount Rushmore to a band and making Roosevelt its bassist.
- No-Sell: Roosevelt gets shot and barely even reacts.
- Off with His Head!: Roosevelt wonders where he can put Churchill’s head after stuffing it.
- Overshadowed by Awesome: Churchill accuses Roosevelt of being less significant than other Presidents, claiming he's the least remarkable of the four presidents on Mount Rushmore, and uses the Nobody Loves the Bassist trope to illustrate his point. Also, while he doesn't denigrate Teddy's presidency itself, he claims that Teddy's accomplishments simply can't measure up to his ("I was saving the planet from an Axis of darkness, while you were back at home opening national parks, yes!").
- Parental Neglect: As Roosevelt points out, Churchill’s parents mostly ignored him.
- Patriotic Fervor: Roosevelt is 100% American and proud of it. In addition to threatening Churchill with his "American muscle" there is this line here:You should be ashamed of your military honor. Everyone knows you're back at home like "Thank god for Pearl Harbor!"
- Perpetual Frowner: Winston Churchill wears a angry scowl for the entire rap.
- Real Men Get Shot: Just like in Real Life, Roosevelt gets shot in the chest and doesn't even flinch, continuing with the battle while boasting that a bullet won't be enough to stop him.
- Red Baron: Churchill references his famous moniker, "The British Bulldog", while comparing it to Teddy's far less intimidating nickname, "Teddy", while overlooking Teddy's other nickname of "Bull Moose".
- Series Fauxnale: Dramatic instrumentation, high production value, Theodore Roosevelt finally getting a battle (wih Peter previously stating he'd have to stop being the news anchor if he did), Breaking the Fourth Wall, all previous U.S. presidents portrayed in the series coming Back for the Finale, and Roosevelt getting shot near the end. Yep, this seems to have all the qualities for a satisfying Series Finale—but it's the penultimate episode instead.note
- Sharp-Dressed Man: Churchill tries to invoke this by claiming he's "fresh in a hat and dinner jacket", but subverts it as a dinner jacket is what's also known as a tuxedo, which he very definitely isn't wearing here. And which also is never worn with the kind of hat Churchill's sporting.
- Slobs Versus Snobs: Roosevelt is the snob, as he wears a pressed suit while boasting of his military experience and personal fitness, and Churchill calls him "an overgrown boy-scout." Churchill, meanwhile, is the slob, as he openly admits to chain smoking and apparently came to the rap battle drunk, and Roosevelt even calls him a "bloated, drunk old man." However, in an interesting twist, both sides downplay the respective traits of the roles assigned to them. Roosevelt is much more vulgar and exuberant than other snobs, while Churchill is much more eloquent and dapper than other slobs.
- Smoking Is Cool: Churchill talks about how much he likes cigars.
- Specs of Awesome: Roosevelt wears a pince-nez and is a general badass.
- Suddenly Shouting: Every line of Roosevelt’s is loud, but after he's shot, he comes back literally roaring.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: Roosevelt belts out his usual “What's up, bitches?" in his first verse.
- Tranquil Fury: Only displays a scowl when he mentions the deaths of Churchill's men at Gallipoli.
- Truth in Television: Just like the battle, the real Roosevelt and Churchill did not get along well at all. In fact, Roosevelt had met Churchill in December 1900 when he was lecturing in the United States. And was not impressed. In a letter on May 23rd, 1908, to his son, Theodore Roosevelt Jr, the elder Roosevelt remarked that Winston's father Randolph "was a rather cheap character," and that Winston "is a rather cheap character", and would later add that both father and son displayed "levity, lack of sobriety, lack of permanent principle, and an inordinate thirst for that cheap form of admiration which is given to notoriety".
- Unstoppable Force Meets Immovable Object: This whole rap is basically this Trope in song form: Roosevelt being the Unstoppable Force and Churchill being the Immovable Object.
- Verbal Tic: Churchill throws a bunch of Yeses and Sees into the end of his lines to salvage his rhymes.
- We Have Reserves: Teddy accuses of Churchill of throwing away lives in the Gallipoli Campaign.
- Worthy Opponent: His very fist words indicate he considers Churchill this.Bully! A challenge! I love competition!
