Fame may be fleeting and wealth, ephemeral, but true evil never dies. It just comes back with a goddamn second health bar.
Ganondorf, the calamitous demon king of Princess Zelda's Hyrule. And Dracula, the everlasting vampire lord of Castlevania.
The medium of video games has played host to a plethora of sorcerous villains, but none have left a grander legacy than the combatants featured in season six's thirteenth fight. Power both demonic and divine in origin meet vampiric darkness and chaos, for Ganondorf and Dracula, each feared for the unspeakable evil he sets forth upon his respective world, are now fated to bring their dark magic upon one another. Such is the nature of a death battle.
First to be studied in the episode is Ganondorf, reincarnation of the ancient demon king Demise. Ages long since past speak of when Demise led a horde of monsters in a campaign to ravage the land watched over by the goddess Hylia. Her chosen champion defeated the demon king, but he did not emerge from this victory unscathed; in his final moments, Demise bound the spirits of this champion and Hylia's human vessel to a curse, forever damning them to be haunted by the embodiment of his hatred. This demonic rage given flesh, Ganondorf Dragmire, was born to the Gerudo as the one male of the race born every century. Because of this, Ganondorf was crowned king of the Gerudo and saw firsthand the suffering his people endured in the desert wastes they called home. He grew to covet the prosperity and lush fields of neighboring Hyrule, and set out to claim this land for his kin, spurred if only in part by the dying curse cast by Demise so long ago.
Millennia have passed since the dawn of Hyrule's conception, and the threat posed by Demise still lingers within the blood of the Gerudo warlock. The witches Koume and Kotake gifted Ganondorf with a vast knowledge of magic powers ever since childhood; various manners of electrokinesis, telepathy, telekinesis, and levitation are a small sampling of the wisdom they imparted upon him. In the way of close-quarters, Ganondorf is able to imbue himself with this magic to amplify the potency of his unarmed combat, though he is otherwise most adept at swordplay and several disciplines therein. The incarnation of Demise's hatred is as intelligent as he is physically formidable, as through manipulating the populaces of Hyrule and its neighboring territories, he was granted entry into the Sacred Realm. A byproduct from the era of Hylia and Demise, it stems from the golden goddesses who created Hyrule, and who left behind an artifact of supreme might under Hylia's care. This relic, the Triforce, represents a fraction of its creators' power, courage, and wisdom; any who wish to use the Triforce must embody these three virtues in equal share, lest they be left with only a third of its sacred magic. Ganondorf, failing to meet this criteria, was left with just the Triforce of Power under his dominion. While undoubtedly a setback by any standards, this was still not without its blessings, as the Triforce of Power grants Ganondorf immortality and bolsters his might and magic alike. More powerful than even Ganondorf with all his strength and arcane prowess, however, is his transformation into the boar-like monstrosity Ganon. As this dark beast, Ganon's magical might is amplified further, becoming as physically powerful as he is cunning. The warlock also gains yet another increase in his magical potential as Ganon, with an even wider array of magic powers at his disposal seen mostly if not exclusively in this form.
Throughout all of Hyrule's history, there has never been a greater threat to its safety than Ganondorf himself. The Triforce of Power has imbued Ganondorf with strength that is nigh-unopposed; his punches can create shockwaves with their force, while Ganon's own dark magic can shatter islands and blot out the sky with its might. In the way of durability, the Gerudo king has survived being in the epicenter of collapsing castles, some with kilotons of force behind their destruction. Link, the chosen hero of the goddesses and the Triforce of Courage's rightful owner, can react to beams of light with relativistic-level reflexes; thus, Ganondorf should be similar in speed, as the pair have been fated to duel each other as part of Demise's curse. In one certain timeline, Ganon has even slain Link and brought ruin to Hyrule. All of these accomplishments and the power of gods and demons alike give Ganondorf a justified claim as the king of evil, but even a reputation such as this does little to cover up his own failings. Although he can be harmed by conventional weaponry, only armaments with holy power behind them can deal a fatal blow, even if it may take some effort on the wielder's part. It is also possible to use holy magic to seal Ganondorf away, and though he can escape such banishment, the fact he can be sealed in the first place demonstrates his might gained from the Triforce of Power is not limitless. Despite these shortcomings, Ganondorf has continued to wreak havoc upon Hyrule and its sacred defenders, and in doing so, he ensures that the legacy of Demise and his hatred for the goddesses' creations is carried on for all time.
- Ganondorf: (laughs violently as he, King Daphnes Nohansen, and an unconscious Link become surrounded in a rainstorm flooding the remains of Hyrule)
From Ganondorf, the episode moves on to Dracula, the legendary vampire lord, and the tragedy that led to his villainous path. Mathias Cronqvist, the name he went by while still a mortal man, led an order of knights in 11th century Europe; his skill was matched only by his fellow commander and closest friend, Leon Belmont. Mathias' wife Elisabetha had succumbed to disease while he was traveling aboard, and, consumed by rage against God for taking Elisabetha from him, Mathias turned to forbidden and arcane magics to exact his revenge. He manipulated those around him and curried favor with dark forces, even betraying Leon in order to absorb the soul of an ancient vampire. Reborn as the dark lord Dracula, the former Mathias offered Leon the chance to join him in attaining immortality to defy God's will. The Belmont knight turned his back upon the creature who was once his friend, and instead vowed that he and his descendants would forever stand as the world's first line of defense against Dracula's machinations. Centuries have passed since then, and Dracula continued to do battle with the Belmont clan, the legacy of Mathias and Leon looming over this conflict.
Ever since the former Mathias left his humanity behind, the villainous vampire in his place serves as perhaps the most notorious enemy to all mankind. Among other vampiric attributes such as improved strength and reflexes, he has become strong enough to withstand impacts with meteors and the total disintegration of his body. Some of Dracula's greatest potential, however, lies in the fabric of his very conception. It is said that in order for God to be good, an evil being of similar power must exist as a counterbalance. As such, the Chaotic Realm, an alternate dimension that exists alongside reality, and the embodiment of it known as Chaos, can best be described as the source of evil in the Castlevania universe. Dracula, emissary of Chaos in the human realm, is gifted with a nigh-uncountable array of vampiric powers to operate with as a result; these range from garden-variety bloodsucking, shapeshifting, and flight to utilizing the powers of his fallen enemies' souls. More direct approaches in combat see Dracula talented in dark magic, as well. While various spheres of fiery energy, meteors, and acid rain comprise some of the signature spells used by the dark lord, his most powerful attack would be the concentrated blast of holy energy counterintuitively christened the Demonic Megiddo. Dracula's connection to the Chaotic Realm means Dracula will be resurrected every century, and should he require further power than this, he can tap into the powers of Chaos to assume a more bestial state.
The dark lord and his connection to Chaos make for an imposing nemesis to the Belmonts, and Dracula proves this reputation is founded upon a solid base. Nearly a millennium after his birth, Dracula has faced off against generations of Belmonts and their allies, and his link to the Chaotic Realm guarantees he is destined to fulfill his role as the antithesis to God. Even when he was eventually slain for good, Dracula still faced his destiny as the teenaged Soma Cruz. Soma's journey through the castle of the dark lord saw him dodge beams of reflected light and even defeat Chaos within its own realm; as Soma is his reincarnation, the original Dracula theoretically can perform feats on a similar level. Dracula, it should be clear at this point, is a worthy adversary for any foe to face, and yet, a small comfort can be found in knowing this most feared of vampires can still be felled. His position as God's opposite means that holy weapons are a perfect counter to his powers, and his head is a known weak spot while in vampire form; he can render the rest of his body intangible, but his head can still be damaged. His greatest weakness, however, is that in his status as an immortal, Dracula is arrogant enough to underestimate those who fight him, and in turn, his connection to the Chaotic Realm and its wealth of powers can be broken by them. Just as the rules of the universe demand ultimate good and evil, the legacy Dracula left behind continued to fulfill this purpose even after his final defeat through these flaws, a constant reminder that man has a place in ensuring this balance in some manner.
- Dracula: (rises into the air, surrounded by enormous winged arms as he confronts Alucard) Behold my true form, and despair!
With both the episode's fighters studied, there is little left to postpone the ensuing confrontation. One advertisement for the Blue Apron cooking service later, and now, it's time for a death battle!
Smothered in blankets of moonlit mist, the lair of the vampire lord Dracula casts its silhouette against the nighttime sky. The gentle fluttering of his cape is the single noise that Ganondorf Dragmire, king of the Gerudo, permits himself to make as he slams open the doors leading to Dracula's throne room. A perplexed scowl becomes the Gerudo's next expression, as the dust from Ganondorf's intrusion dies down. There, resting upon the seat of power to all Castlevania, is the dark lord himself. Ganondorf greets the vampire with boasts of his superior magic, that all of Chaos' power falters before his own. Dracula, amused by this bout of insolence, flings the goblet of wine nestled between his fingers tumble to the floor out of disregard for the demon king.
FIGHT!
Ganondorf, not content to merely hand out these claims of his might, is keen to then act upon them. Magenta energy swirls into his fist as he charges headlong into the dark lord before the ensuing blast envelops the throne room in a second layer of dust. As the reincarnation of Demise uprights himself, Dracula is nowhere to be seen in the rubble; a whoosh fills the air as the vampire instead rematerializes himself behind Ganondorf. Even as the Gerudo king pushes his offensive, Dracula merely teleports out the way of his second blow. Wicked cackling echoes through the castle halls before Dracula teleports back into view, delivering a wide slap across Ganondorf's exposed face. The brief second the Gerudo takes to process this gives way to an unrestrained fury as he cocks another magic-laden fist back. The punch that follows seems to stagger the former Mathias Cronqvist, until a swarm of bats flutter around the demon king. Dracula, none the worse off from the attack, vanishes from view once more, rematerializing in a flash of energy as the bats flock to his new position. Chaos' herald offers a taste of his own dark magic, sending a sphere of hellfire at Ganondorf's position. Now it becomes Ganondorf's turn to warp to safety, bringing himself away from the flames and vaulting back further.
The Gerudo is almost too preoccupied with the hellfire to notice it also acts as a diversion for the number of Medusa heads closing in on him from behind. Ganondorf touches back down upon the castle floors and wears thin the heads' numbers in a display of acrobatic fisticuffs. The horde is done away with in seconds, but a second swarm of Medusa heads force the Gerudo king to shield himself from the repeated impact. A single head makes contact in such a way that it breaks the demon king's defenses; this in turn allows Dracula to teleport to Ganondorf and catch him in a choke hold. The reborn Demise struggles to escape the dark lord's grasp, instead resorting to the Triforce of Power's divine magic. A golden explosion shines through the throne room as Dracula is blasted backwards. What was at first an uphill battle for the demon king has now turned into an effortless display of power as Ganondorf ensnares the vampire in a choke hold of his own. With Ganondorf driving the dark lord into the floor beneath him, the Triforce of Power radiates from the back of Ganondorf's left hand; the same one he slams into the vulnerable Dracula immediately after. The force of the backhanded punch sends Dracula careening away from Ganondorf, who uses the distance to prime a series of light beams. By the time the beams are within striking distance, Dracula reorients himself, reflecting each ray back at its sender. This turn of events is one that fails to sway Ganondorf, best shown by how he conjures a longsword into his grasp. The Sage's sword bats away the light as Ganondorf lunges toward his vampiric adversary.
With a violent yell, the Gerudo drives the blade firmly into Dracula's neck, a geyser of blood erupting from the impact. The Sage's sword tears Dracula's head clean from the shoulders, with Ganondorf reaching solid ground a second before the severed cranium of the dark lord. Another round of Dracula's chortling seems to mock Ganondorf, however; barely able to keep himself in check, the Gerudo brings his gaze skyward, where the headless frame of Dracula spasms violently. A bat-like demon, Dracula's true form, bursts from out the vampire's human remains. Undaunted by this spectacle, Ganondorf makes to charge at Dracula, but an abrupt swipe knocks the demon king into the castle walls. Dracula pushes the attack, trapping Ganondorf in a plume of hellfire so intense he screams in agony. The Triforce of Power, sensing its master's distress, releases another wave of light that snuffs out Dracula's inferno. Even in his true form, Dracula is immediately put onto the defensive from seeing such a display of power. The faintest semblance of shock is plastered upon Dracula's face as he bears witness to a bipedal boar armed with twin broadswords that rival it in size. Where Ganondorf once was, the dark beast Ganon now stands in his place.
Ganon begins a slow trudge forward, his movements enough to shake the very foundations of Castlevania. The demonic boar's twin blades slam into Dracula, disorienting him briefly, yet not long enough for the dark lord to push back against Ganon's ensuing charge. The full might of Ganon flings Dracula away, where he remains exposed and vulnerable. An upwards strike draws further blood from the herald of Chaos, setting him in position for Ganon to fire a ray of dark magic at him. The attack lingers for a second until Dracula is set free. Ascending into the air, Dracula summons purple runes, condensing their energy into an ever-expanding sphere. As Dracula then unleashes the Demonic Megiddo upon Ganon, he watches as the Triforce of Power vanishes from view. The dark beast bellows as he becomes consumed in the holy energy of Dracula's attack, ground zero for an explosion that levels the castle. Reverting back to Gerudo form admist the debris, Ganondorf is faced with the bestial true form of Dracula hoisting him into the air. A final hellish roar floods the ruins as Ganondorf realizes all too late that the Triforce's magic can save him no longer. Dracula plunges a clawed hand through Ganondorf's waist before ripping the demon king in half. The upper torso of Hyrule's greatest threat gushes with blood as Dracula bathes in the light of the full moon, consuming what little remains of his foe.
K.O.!
In the aftermatch of the fight, all its elements are examined one final time. The array of magic both sorcerors wielded was comparable, and they could scale to other characters with reflexes close to light-speed. Intelligence was another shared advantage thanks to their history of manipulating others to suit their agenda. However, it was Ganondorf who fell short in fields that Dracula specialized in. Both these characters shared a weaknesses to holy weapons, and fittingly, they each had such a trick in their arsenals; Ganondorf's sword of the Six Sages and the Demonic Megiddo of Dracula. However, the usefulness of the former is brought into question thanks to Dracula's regenerative capabilities and its own underwhelming might compared to the holy energy of Demonic Megiddo. Ganondorf and even Demise have had their incorporeal forms sealed; meaning the Gerudo warlock also had no answer to Dracula's ability to directly steal souls. In the way of their defenses, Ganondorf withstood the destruction of a castle, an act with two kilotons behind it. Dracula, however, has faced meteor strikes said to possess two megatons of energy; put another way, this feat puts Dracula as Ganondorf's better in durability a thousand times over. The true tipping point of the fight, though, came down to the deific power both men were fueled by. While it is unclear exactly how much of the golden goddesses' power is channeled into the Triforce, Ganondorf has only a small fraction of the goddess Din's power to rely on. The most generous assumption would give the Triforce of Power planetary levels of strength, as it was Din who created the world. In comparison, Dracula draws his power from the Chaotic Realm, the size of an entire universe run solely by Chaos itself. Comparing the energy both demonic sorcerers have at their disposal, Chaos supplies Dracula with far more power than even the highest reasonable estimate Ganondorf could wield through the Triforce of Power. While Ganondorf could in theory win this fight due to having ways of putting down Dracula, it is the vampiric dark lord, and his greater defenses and power sources, that could more reliably claim victory.
- Boomstick: Of all the ways to go, that must have sucked. The big pig's chances were slim to Ga-none.
Wiz: The winner is Dracula!
Ganondorf vs. Dracula contains examples of:
- Bait-and-Switch: Once bat Dracula has Ganondorf at his mercy, there's a shot of the latter's hand crackling with energy, suggesting he has one last trick to pull. Nope, it's a pre-emptive Dead-Hand Shot before the king of the Gerudo gets torn in half.
- Behemoth Battle: The climax of the fight features Ganon and Dracula's demon form duking it out.
- Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: After it's made clear Ganondorf can practice his swordplay with two blades and on horseback, the idea is pitched that he can fight with two swords on two horsebacks.
- Brick Joke: Boomstick wonders why Ganondorf seems to always be at the center of castles getting blown up. At the end of the fight, the same thing happens, this time thanks to Dracula using Demonic Megiddo destroying his castle.
- The Bus Came Back: Ganondorf is the first winner to return for a second match this season, unlike every other returning fighter. Alas, like Mega Man, Carol, and Tommy, he gets defeated during his return.
- Continuity Nod: The prized insult "bastich" from prior combatant Lobo seems to have wormed its way into Boomstick's vocabulary; casually referring to one of the Six Sages that attempted to execute Ganondorf as such.
- Curb Stomp Cushion: Even if Ganondorf loses this matchup way more times than he wins it thanks to the power imbalance, he did make Dracula cough up blood when fighting as Ganon, to the point where the former stops clowning around and takes the fight seriously.
- Evil Versus Evil: The episode has two spellcasting warlords whose powers are demonic in origin going at it.
- Half the Man He Used to Be: This is Ganondorf's ultimate fate, as after Dracula defeats his beast form with a Demonic Megiddo, he rips the Gerudo in two at the waist and then proceeds to drink his blood from his upper half.
- Insane Troll Logic: Mathias is pegged as being evil just because his name begins with Math, and as we all know, Everybody Hates Mathematics.
- Irony:
- In a fight between two lords of darkness it’s the quality of their holy attacks that plays the biggest factor in who wins.
- It’s noted that Ganondorf had the potential to win if he’d stick to using the Sage Sword rather then the more likely probability of him turning into Ganon in a failed attempt to close the power gap. So he’d be a warrior wielding a holy blade against a monstrous dark lord that’s stronger than him, just like his nemesis Link.
- Just Toying with Them: During the fight, it’s clear that Dracula is barely putting any effort into fighting Ganondorf, with everything up to getting decapitated just has the vampire responding with laughter. It takes Ganondorf transforming into Ganon for Dracula to take the fight seriously.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: When Boomstick tops off Ganondorf's analysis by saying that he'll always come back no matter how many times he's defeated or sealed away, the clips that play are from the pre-development trailers for The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.
- Mythology Gag:
- Dracula's introduction in the fight hearkens back to his infamous first scene from Symphony of the Night; wine glass, "what is a man", and all.
- The fighters briefly get into a round of dead man's volley, a Zelda boss staple (and part of some of Ganondorf's own boss fights), as they parry Ganondorf's light beams back and forth.
- During the fight, Ganondorf uses a few of his moves from his Super Smash Bros. appearances, such as a midair Flame Choke and a Warlock Punch.
- One-Winged Angel: Both combatants are known for doing this, and the climax of the battle is Dracula transforming into his blue demon form and Ganondorf turning into Ganon to even the odds.
- Shout-Out:
- Boomstick calls Ganondorf "Dorf Lundgren" at one point.
- The last step of Dracula's six-step plan to become a vampire compares him to those of What We Do in the Shadows and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure; Mathias is even said to reject his humanity just as Dio did in Phantom Blood.
- In the same rundown, Boomstick specifically describes Castlevania's Barbarian Hero Simon Belmont as a discount Conan.
- Suddenly Voiced: Unlike last time, which featured reusing vocal effects from past Zelda titles and Smash, Ganondorf has an actual voice actor reading lines, something that hadn't even been done in the series at the time of the episode's airing.
