Tracey: I know that Beverly's a pain, but the customers are always right.
Sharon: Right in line for a smack!
— Tracey Stubbs and Sharon Theodopolopodous discussing Beverly, their latest customer in line for a pool.
- Date First Aired: 26/05/1997
Sharon and Tracey's pool business is not doing great, with them having to deal with a very rude customer. However some good news has come - the husbands are leaving prison and are heading home in a fortnight. Making matters worse, not only is Chris also coming back in four weeks, but Tracey wants Sharon out. Just then, Dorien shows up. Recently, Marcus has found a new business partner in Jonathan and she had sex with him. However, Marcus almost caught them in the act, causing her to flee only wearing a bedsheet. However, Dorien points out that, what with the development that Tracey has undergone over the years, if he is ready for it, although Tracey wants things to remain the same.
As Tracey forces Sharon to find a new flat, Sharon snaps, especially since Tracey isn't helping out with the pool business. Sometime later, Tracey goes to pick up Darryl. However, there's been an issue - a disagreement with Chris and Darryl has led to a riot alert, meaning that he can't go home yet. Oh, and Sharon has been fired for doing something to Beverly's dog. Soon, Sharon realizes that Beverly has been tearing through pool contractors and has been blacklisted from every one of them. Unfortunately, Tracey is not pleased, especially since she thinks that it was Chris was ruined the husbands' return. However, it turns out that the riot started because Darryl sang "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" in front of the 17-stone homophobic bouncer named Spiros. The two sisters promptly make up, although Tracey is still intent on kicking out her sister.
Tropes in this episode:
- Added Alliterative Appeal: Sharon calls Chris a "mindless moronic moron".
- Alliterative Name:
- Beverly's fortune teller, Mystic Meg.
- Mention is made of a pool contractor named "Dip and Dive".
- Ass Shove: When Sharon calls Dip and Dive to discuss Beverly, they tell her to tell Beverly that she can stick her diving board right up her deep end.
- Auto Erotica: Dorien and Jonathan begin to have it off in a car.
- Celebrity Crush: Sharon mentions having once had a crush on David Cassidy.
- Continuity Nod:
- Dorien's love of Dirty Dancing is briefly touched on.
- Sharon mentions the time that Dorien trained to become part of the Samaritans.
- "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor makes Sharon recall happy memories of her and Tracey.
- Curse Cut Short: Tracey stops Sharon midway through the word "vibrator".Sharon: But Madame 'ere wants to turn the clock back to the bimbo years. Before she knew 'ow to change a plug, pay a bill, use a vib-Tracey: I'm not stupid, Sharon!
- Department of Redundancy Department: Sharon asks Tracey how she knew that Chris threw the first punch like a "mindless moronic moron".
- Foreshadowing: The fact that it was Darryl, not Chris, which delayed the release from prison, plus the fact that Sharon for once was pleased that it wasn't her husband's fault, hints at what happens later on in the series, where Darryl manages to get both him and Chris back to prison and Sharon becomes more willing to stand up for Chris.
- Gasshole: Dorien claims that Sharon could belch for England.
- Get A Hold Of Yourself Man: When Tracey thinks Dorien is in shock, Sharon begs to slap her.
- The Ghost:
- Mystic Meg and Kieth, both mentioned by Beverly during her inane ramblings.
- Spiros, who gets Darryl's release delayed.
- Horrible Housing: The flat Sharon checks out in Ongar, which is damp, overpriced, stinks of cabbage and has a landlady who is mentioned to have had gotten her Ph.D. from the Vinnie Jones Charm School.
- Hypocritical Humour: Dorien complains about being unable to trust Marcus... right after almost being caught having an affair by him.
- Ignoring by Singing:
- Sharon tries to drown out Tracey by covering her ears and singing when Tracey points out that Chris is coming out of prison as well.
- Tracey sings to ignore Sharon trying to find ways to stay in Dalentrace.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: Dorien ends up wanting a double shot of whiskey without the glass after Marcus almost catches her with his business partner.
- I Need to Go Iron My Dog: Dorien needs to get away from a hug with Tracey so she makes a pathetic excuse:Dorien: Ah, I think I've left an insurance policy on the stove. Sorry, milk, on the stove. I'd better check the policy... er, s-... milk... stove.
- Interrupted Intimacy: Dorien and Jonathan are almost caught together by Marcus, and only manage to slip away in the nick of time.
- Kinky Cuffs: When Dorien offers to let Tracey borrow some of her sex toys, Tracey snarks that Darryl will feel right at home in a pair of her handcuffs.
- Malaproper: According to Sharon, Spiros only considered Chris "a prawn in the game", when he meant "pawn".
- Misplaced Retribution: Tracey lets her anger out on Sharon as she believes that it was her husband who delayed Darryl's release. In truth, it was Darryl himself who did the deed.
- Modesty Bedsheet: Dorien is wearing nothing more than a bedsheet after she's almost caught having sex with Jonathan.
- Mythology Gag: The episode shares its name with the show's failed Transatlantic Equivalent from America.
- Noodle Incident:
- Tracey once taped Songs of Praise by mistake.
- Sharon did something to Bobo the dog which got her fired from the contact for Beverly's pool.
- One-Shot Character: Beverly and Bobo the dog.
- Pun: Sharon makes a play on "Don't look back in anger", saying instead "Don't look back in Ongar".
- Rise of Zitboy: Tracey mentions that she doesn't want to look spotty once Darryl returns.
- Shout-Out:
- The episode name is a reference to Stand By Your Man, a short-lived American sitcom that served as the show's Foreign Remake.
- Tracey sings a Song Parody of "Three Lions" by David Baddiel, Frank Skinner and The Lightning Seeds and "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree" by Tony Orlando and Dawn when she learns that Darryl is leaving prison.
- Sharon calls Darryl a "Crimewatch pinup".
- Sharon mentions Cliff Richard getting a knighthood.
- Sharon calls Dorien's Modesty Bedsheet "Jasper Conran meets REDRUM".
- Sharon remembers that she loved David Cassidy once. When Tracey asks Sharon what Chris will do (once he's out of prison), Sharon thinks she's still talking about Cassidy and remarks he could reform The Partridge Family.
- When giving Tracey sex advice, Dorien brings up the songs "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye and "Can't Slow Down" by Lionel Richie.
- Tracey states her feelings on Darryl's return (and Sharon's eviction) are "Que sera, sera":Sharon: Oh, so it was Doris Day 'oo made me move to soddin' Ongar?!
- Dorien fondly looks at a VHS of Dirty Dancing, while Sharon finds a Gloria Gaynor CD and wistfully thinks about the song "I Will Survive" when the two discuss Sharon's upcoming eviction.
- Before telling her about Darryl's release from prison being pushed back, the prison officer tells Tracey that he hopes she hadn't booked front-row seats for Riverdance.
- Darryl and Spiros watch a match between West Ham and Olympiacos.
- Sharon makes a crack about Darryl caring for sparrows in prison, much like the Birdman of Alcatraz.
- Dorien buys Tracey supermarket fizz because she's hardly Jilly Goolden.
- Dorien is fuming that she won't get the chance to meet Prince Charles, as it was the only reason she even bothered to put up with Beverly:Sharon: You mean you dumped 'er on us so you could chat up Charlie? 'E likes 'em old, Dor, but 'e draws the line at crumblies.
- Sharon mentions a pool contractor called "Ocean's 11".
- Tracey had warned Sharon to not lose her rag at Beverly so they wouldn't end up on The Cook Report.
- Song Parody: Tracey sings one of "Three Lions" throughout the episode to celebrate Darryl's release from prison. Sharon also sings her own parody to celebrate getting to stay in Dalentrace.
- Soundtrack Dissonance: "Right Back Where We Started From" (Specifically the lyrics about returning home) plays whilst Tracey is crying over the fact that her husband can't go home yet.
- Take That!:
- When talking about how things have changed since Darryl's imprisonment, Sharon brings up the fact that Margaret Thatcher is finally gone.
- Sharon is still annoyed at Tracey for accidentally taping Songs of Praise.
- Sharon mentions a horrible landlady with as much charm as Vinnie Jones.
- Spiros beats up Darryl for singing "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" by the Cockney Rejects.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: Tracey is far too eager to kick out Sharon, especially after how close they had gotten over the course of the past six series.
- Unsatisfiable Customer: Beverly, who spends most of her screentime demanding constant changes to her new pool. It is later revealed that her behavior has led to her being blacklisted from every nearby pool contractor.
- Unusual Euphemism: Tracey calls Dorien's affairs "piccadillies".
- Waxing Lyrical: Dorien quotes "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor when discussing Sharon's upcoming eviction with her.Dorien: Just go. Walk out the door. Just turn around now. Coz you're not welcome anymore.
