Sharon: Yeah, but that ain't Garth's fault, is it? I mean... 'e was just an innocent bystander. (Beat) Rat-arsed, but innocent.
— Sharon Theodopolopodous discussing Garth's arrest.
- Date First Aired: 02/06/1997
Dorien needs Sharon's help, wanting her to cover for her relating to Jonathan. However, Sharon, still distraught over Chris' release, doesn't want to cover for Dorien anymore and calls her out. Dorien admits that she's selfish and that she won't have anyone to rely on so she will be less of a Jerkass. As such, Dorien wants a final day out with Sharon.
Tracey soon comes back from Garth revealing that he's going to court on Thursday after getting drunk with his mates and tying the groom naked to a sheep. However, she doesn't want Garth to grass his mates. Soon, Sharon realizes that Dorien and Tracey plan to send her to a health farm. Thus, Sharon fakes the death of a friend named "Gripper" to get out of it. Tracey eventually gets word of this, but Sharon still doesn't want to go to where Dorien wants to go and decides to go to a funeral. They end up at a hippie gathering and Dorien figures out the truth, so Sharon has to have the day out that Dorien wants. Oh, and Garth was able to go free - by beating up the person who tied the groom to the sheep until he confessed.
Tropes in this episode:
- Accidental Misnaming: Dorien calls Gripper "Guffer".
- At the Opera Tonight: Dorien plans a trip to the opera with Sharon, who tries anything she can to avoid it.
- Cardboard Box Home: Dorien mocks Sharon by asking if she can't wait to move into an abandoned packing crate after Chris comes home.
- Celebrity Crush: Dorien has one on Mel Gibson, and it's part of the reason she pretends to have watched Braveheart with Sharon.
- Continuity Nod:
- Dorien getting Tracey and Sharon membership to the tennis club so they'd vote for her in the election and trying to help sell Sharon's café so she could earn commission and go on holiday are brought up when Sharon accuses her of being a user.
- Tracey is still severely anti-grassing.
- Sharon's habit of eating pastries in the bath is mentioned again.
- Cool and Unusual Punishment: Sharon forces Tracey to listen to her sing opera to get back at her for forcing her to go out with Dorien.
- Deadpan Snarker: Dorien isn't sympathetic when she hears Garth was arrested during a Stag Party.Dorien: Oh, Garthy's first arrest, you must be so proud! Shall I go get my camera?
- End-of-Episode Silliness: The episode ends on Sharon trapping Tracey in the living room and aggressively singing the Queen of the Night aria from The Magic Flute to her.
- "Fawlty Towers" Plot: Sharon lies that she's going to a funeral to get away from Dorien, which eventually gets more and more ridiculous until she has to actually take Dorien with her to the funeral of a random person, which is where it crashes down.
- The "Fun" in "Funeral": Sharon pretends to be attending a funeral in order to get away from a day out planned by Dorien. Eventually, Dorien invites herself to attend the funeral with Sharon at a hippie gathering where neither of them knows anyone there.
- The Ghost:
- Dr. Schwartz, Dorien's plastic surgeon.
- Louise Cathcart, Caroline Jones and Melanie, all old friends of Sharon who Tracey thinks have died.
- Davey, Garth's mate who tied the groom to a sheep.
- Heel Realisation: Dorien realises that she's a bit of a jerk and tries to have a nice day out with Sharon.
- Invented Individual: Sharon makes up an old school friend called Gripper who is killed off so that she can get out of a trip to a health farm.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Pointed out by Sharon to Dorien, noting that even when she's doing kind things, they always come from a desire to soften them so that they can do favors for her.
- Last-Second Word Swap: Dorien is clearly about to say "fifty" when lamenting why she's so desperate to stay on the right side of it before amending her words to refer to "forty" instead.
- Musicalis Interruptus: Sharon suddenly stops singing "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" when she thinks she hears Dorien so she can pretend to be sad about Gripper's death.
- One-Steve Limit:
- This episode contains the fifth mention of a Dave (although this one is called "Davey") in the series after Sharon's ex-boyfriend Dave from "Shift", "Women's Troubles" and "Baby Come Back", a David from "Falling in Love Again", an unseen character called Straight Dave from "Favour of the Month" and another unseen Dave from "Wipe That Smile Off Your Tape".
- Tracey mentions Sharon once had a friend called Melanie, the same name as an unseen character in "Thirty Something" and Dorien's Sitcom Arch-Nemesis who first appeared in "The Chigwell Connection", but had been mentioned infrequently since "Old Friends".
- Plastic Bitch: It's revealed that Dorien has been giving herself so much plastic surgery to keep herself looking young that they could have made a mini her from all of the leftovers. She's also the meanest of the three and had just come out of a "The Reason You Suck" Speech by Sharon on how she's a jerk.
- Posthumous Character: Helen Pelkington-Smythe, Maureen O'Hara and Kerry Young, the three dead people who Sharon has to choose who's funeral to attend to mourn the fictional Gripper. In the end, she chooses Kerry.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Sharon gives one to Dorien when she goes too far with her affair cover ups, mainly accusing her of being a user who only does thing so that she could get her own way.
- Series Continuity Error: Tracey mentions she refuses to watch Crimewatch UK as it goes against her anti-grassing views, however she mentioned that she watches it in "Bang".
- Shout-Out:
- The name of the episode is a reference to the 1960's Brit Com Nearest and Dearest.
- Dorien pretends to go to see a movie with Sharon so she can have an alibi for her trysts with Jonathan:Dorien: Well, I was goin' to tell him we went to see Babe, but I didn't want you to be offended by a film about a talking pig, so... we went to see Braveheart instead, which is more me anyway as you can see right up Mel Gibson's kilt during the disemboweling scene.
- Tracey brings up Bob Hoskins in the kitchen.
- Tracey admits Chris isn't exactly Brad Pitt:Sharon: More "cesspit"!
- When Sharon tries to guess Garth's bad news, Tracey reminds her this isn't University Challenge.
- Sharon compares Dorien being generous to Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978):Sharon: Of course, in this case it's, uh, an evil pod that's been taken over by a nice person.
- After Tracey tells Sharon it's her funeral, Sharon responds "And I'll cry if I want to".
- Some lottery winners want a pool shaped liked Anthea Turner.
- Stag Party: Garth got arrested on one such stag night. It apparently involved tying the groom naked to a sheep outside Romford.
- Take That!:
- Sharon falls asleep watching Michael Fish.
- Dorien thinks a Ford Cortina is a lower-class car.
- Sharon remarks that if Damien Hirst tied a naked man to a sheep, it'd be considered "art".
- Tracey refuses to watch Crimewatch UK.
- Neither Sharon nor Tracey can stand The Magic Flute, and Sharon sings the Queen of the Night aria to torture Tracey.
