Dorien: I wonder what this button does? Ah! Red light's come on, what does that mean?
Tracey: You're open for business?
— Tracey Stubbs mocking Dorien Green for her over-active sex life as she attempts to use a video camera.
- Date First Aired: 27/09/1992
Sharon joins a video-dating agency, and Dorien shoots the tape - on which Sharon lies outrageously about her status, claiming that she runs a catering empire. She ends up getting tapes from two potential suitors: Mike, who's apparently quite "big in the leisure industry", and Jimmy, a nervous flying instructor who's got a stammer.
Tropes In This Episode:
- Alliterative Name: Sharon calls herself a "Sexy Scorpio" when she's being filmed.
- Bittersweet Ending: Sharon loses her chance to date Jimmy, but Tracey cracks a joke about watching Dorien's video again.
- Brief Accent Imitation:
- Sharon puts on a posh voice in her dating video.
- Sharon copies James Bond's accent.
- Chekhov's Gun: A video of Dorien is included at the end of Sharon's dating tape. When Jimmy comes to pick up Sharon for a date, he mistakes Dorien for her thanks to the clip, and takes her instead.
- Concert Episode: Sharon is taken to a Rolling Stones concert by Mike in the latter half of the episode. The only problem is he only was utilizing Exact Words when he stated that he had a Backstage pass.
- Copycat Mockery: After Sharon uses a posh voice in her dating video, Tracey does the same to mock her.
- Deadpan Snarker: When talking about Marcus' camcorder, Dorien mentions he was the first in Chigwell to have one, leading Tracey to respond with:Tracey: What? An unfaithful wife?
- Embarrassing Slide: As it turns out, the contents of the tape that was used by Sharon were not wiped beforehand, leading to the girls viewing Dorien wearing a pink catsuit.
- Exact Words: Mike's backstage passes literally mean you have to sit backstage where you can't even see the band.
- Fictional Document: Tracey is seen reading from The Chigwell Shopper at the start of the episode.
- Fourth-Date Marriage: Tracey worries that Sharon and Mike will be planning their wedding after one date.
- Handsome Lech: Mike is one, disgusting Tracey, but turning on Sharon.
- Hopeless with Tech: Dorien has difficulty using the camcorder, with her not even knowing what the red light on it was supposed to represent.
- Hypocritical Humour: Sharon calls out Chris for being married, yet posting an ad looking for a bit on the side, until Tracey reminds her that she was married to him and still answered it.
- Insane Troll Logic: Sharon claims that Chris shouldn't cheat on her because he's her husband, but there's nothing wrong with her cheating on him because he's her husband.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Sharon laughs at Dorien and refuses to remove the clip of her from her dating video. This comes back to bite her in the arse when Jimmy mistakes Dorien for her and takes out Dorien instead.
- Named After Someone Famous: Jimmy is named after James Bond.
- The Name Is Bond, James Bond: Jimmy introduces himself this way on his tape.
- Noodle Incident:
- Sharon once answered an ad from an Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalike looking for a yuppie sex goddess, only for it to end up being Chris looking for a bit on the side.
- Tracey and Darryl once saw The Rolling Stones back in 1976 due to Darryl building a conservatory for one of the roadies, who was eventually arrested for growing cannabis in it.
- The Oldest Profession: Tracey remarks the red light on the camcorder means Dorien is open for business.
- One-Shot Character: Mike and Jimmy Bond.
- One-Steve Limit: This episode contains another mention of a Dave in the series after Sharon's ex-boyfriend Dave from "Shift", "Women's Troubles" and "Baby Come Back", a David from "Falling in Love Again" and an unseen character called Straight Dave from "Favour of the Month".
- Pun-Based Title: The title is a reference to the idiom "Wipe that smile off your face".
- Running Gag: The girls keep thinking that Jimmy is about to say something during his stammers which turns out to be different from what he actually intends to say.
- Series Continuity Error: Tracey mentions selling Darryl's camcorder, but previous episodes established she wouldn't dare sell any of his things.
- Shout-Out:
- Sharon once showed interest in an Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalike.
- Garth gets tickets to see The Rolling Stones, while Sharon and Mike get backstage passes. Specific mentions to band members include Dorien mentioning Bill Wyman fancied her, Mike lying that he's friends with Keith Richards and Sharon catching a sweaty towel from Mick Jagger.
- Garth tells Tracey "That's entertainment".
- When Tracey reappears after sending off the tapes, she calls Sharon "sex, thighs, and videotape".
- Tracey mentions Hannibal Lecter had a nice smile.
- Jimmy Bond is as the name suggests, named for James Bond and says his catchphrase. Later Tracey calls Sharon "Moneypenny" and Dorien "Pussy Galore".
- Sharon calls Jimmy "Biggles".
- Sharon mentions she doesn't want to clash with Jerry Hall, to which Tracey compares her to the Albert Hall.
- Sharon mistakes a man at the concert for Axl Rose.
- Sharon mistakes Rod Cartwright for Rod Stewart.
- Dorien mentions Sharon likes men like Bruce Willis.
- Mike compares Dalentrace to Elvis' house.
- Garth makes a play-on-words about the Milky Bar kid.
- Mike gives Garth tickets and claims that they are for Guns N' Roses.
- Sharon compares herself in an orange jacket to Orange Man.
- Speech Impediment: Jimmy has a terrible stutter:Jimmy: Get a bit ton-ton-tongue tied myself.
- Take Our Word for It:
- We don't get to see Sharon's full dating video, but Dorien's reactions tell is it is incredibly saucy.
- Dorien wearing a pink catsuit on the television. All we see are the girl's reactions to it.
- Take That!:
- Sharon mentions she's sick of dating men who look like members of The Pogues.
- Tracey briefly comments that Sharon's lies make the Sunday Sport look like The Bible.
- Dorien remarks she has better things to do than watch recordings of Prisoner: Cell Block H episodes.
- Sharon mistakes Bob Geldof for a tramp.
- Dorien mentions Sharon doesn't like men who look like Bruce Forsyth.
- Mike makes a joke about Michael Jackson's old face going up for auction.
- Garth tells Mike the tickets he sold him were as genuine as Elton John's hair.
- Garth is disgusted when Mike gives him tickets to an Amsterdam concert.
- Taped-Over Turmoil: Sharon's dating video is taped over a naughty video of Dorien's, although some of the original video still lingers on over the end.
- Vomit Discretion Shot: A man at The Rolling Stones concert runs off-screen to vomit.
- Verbal Tic: Jimmy has a tendency to stammer on some of his words, leading the characters to think he was about to say something different from what he was about to say.
- Your Door Was Open: Dorien is bored, so she barges into Tracey's living room to tell her.
