Recap / Birds of a Feather S4E3: Commitments

Tracey: I mean, if this Tina's lead a sheltered life in Cyprus, she must think that Chris is really exciting and mature.

Sharon: The only mature thing about Chris is his socks.

— Tracey Stubbs and Sharon Theodopolopodous discussing reasons why Tina could be attracted to Chris.

• Date First Aired: 20/09/1992

With Marcus away, Dorien briefly moves in with Luke who is now single. Chris tells Sharon of his plans to marry Tina from Cyprus with whom he has been corresponding. But it transpires Tina has ulterior motives and takes the café away from Sharon. Fortunately, when Tina sees that the café is not what Chris made it out to be, she departs from his life and Sharon is back in business. Dorien later returns to Chigwell because she feels uncomfortable living with Luke.

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Tropes In This Episode:

• Added Alliterative Appeal: Dorien calls Luke a big bunny.
• Affectionate Nickname: Dorien calls Luke her "big bunny".
• And I'm the Queen of Sheba: Two in the first scene.
  Sharon: I tell ya, if these are a size fourteen, I am Jerry Hall.
  Dorien: If you're size fourteen, then I'm Jerry Hall.
• Bigger Is Better in Bed: Sharon makes a comment about Luke's girth.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Tina pretends to be sweet and innocent, but when she visits Sharon she reveals just how much of a bitch she really is.
• Brick Joke: At the start of the episode, Sharon wears Tracey's shirt and Tracey tells her it's a step up from just grabbing something out from the bottom of the laundry basket. At the end of the episode Tracey can't find her shirt and Sharon tells her to check the bottom of the laundry basket.
• Business Trip Adultery: Dorien tries to get back with Luke while Marcus is away on a business trip.
• Call-Back:
  • Luke has dumped Kelly from "Falling in Love Again" and wants to get back with Dorien.
  • Sharon tries to use Chris being sterile to try get Tina to leave him.
• Child Hater: Tina thinks all children should be strangled at birth.
• Chippendales Dancers: Sharon tells Dorien that the new wine bar possibly has them wall to wall.
• Continuity Nod:
  • Chris' affair with Lisa in "Nicked" is mentioned again.
  • A poster for the prisoner's wives group is visible the second time Sharon visits Chris.
• Deadpan Snarker: After Tina tells Sharon that Chris told her that she'd gone to seed, Sharon remarks:
  Sharon: An' 'e's told me you were as innocent as an angel's armpit, but then 'e did always talk crap.
• Death Glare: Sharon gives Dorien one after she laughs at her for being dumped by Chris.
• The Dreaded Toilet Duty: Dorien isn't looking forward to cleaning Luke's bathroom.
  Dorien: Does one really have to touch the toilet bowl?
• Elevator Failure: A story Dorien never gets tired of telling involves her getting stuck in a lift with Luton Town players.
• Failed a Spot Check: After seeing Sharon wearing her blue silk shirt, Tracey remarks she's got one just like it.
• Gasshole: Chris' cellmate is a flatulent goat dealer.
• Gold Digger: Tina only wants Chris for his café.
• Musical Chores: Tracey sings "You Made Me Love You (I Didn't Want to Do It)" while vacuuming the living room.
• Noodle Incident: Dorien once enjoyed herself getting stuck in a lift with Luton Town players.
• One-Shot Character: Tina Constantino.
• One-Word Title: The title of the episode is "Commitments".
• Overly Long Name: Chris takes ages to write his full name.
  Sharon: Any time before your parole comes up, Chris.
• Recurring Dreams: Sharon has one about Chris getting his bum stuck to a toilet full of piranhas.
• Rhymes on a Dime: Tina keeps asking Sharon "Keys please" to get the keys to the café.
• Ship Tease:
  • Sharon tells Dorien she wouldn't mind trying out Luke for herself.
  • Sharon makes a comment about marrying Marcus after Dorien divorces him.
• Shout-Out:
  • Sharon and Dorien compare themselves to Jerry Hall.
  • Dorien once got stuck in a lift with Luton Town players.
  • Sharon calls herself the Roddick of the fried slice.
  • Chris makes a joke that Giorgio Armani didn't get much creative input on his outfit.
  • Sharon tells Chris that his underpants could have starred on Wildlife on One.
  • Chris tells Sharon she used to have more rabbit than Watership Down.
  • Chris tries to remember something he read in Cosmo.
  • Chris tells Sharon she could make talking an Olympic event.
  • Sharon compares herself to Lucrezia Borgia.
  • Sharon tells Chris that she and him were less like Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, but more like Laurel and Hardy.
  • Dorien moans that Marcus cares more about Norman Lamont than her.
  • Tracey makes a remark about Simon Bates giving out a message on Our Tube.
  • Dorien remarks Alexander Fleming could have discovered penicillin in a dirty mug she found under Luke's couch.
  • Luke's cupboard has a pinup of Julia Roberts on it.
  • Sharon asks Tina if Alexis Cole is one of her role models.
  • Chris mentions the Guinness World Records.
  • Chris compares his café to the Savoy.
  • Sharon sings parodies of "I Came, I Saw, I Conga'd" by Joe Loss & His Orchestra.
• Sickeningly Sweethearts: Tracey and Sharon are disgusted at how lovey-dovey Dorien gets over Luke.
• Song Parody:
  • Sharon sings one of "I Came, I Saw, I Conga'd" to celebrate getting the café back.
    Sharon: I 'ave got my caff back, I 'ave got my caff back. Doo doo doo doo, ooh! Doo doo doo doo, ooh!
  • She then does the same to mock Chris.
    Sharon: Chris is still a scumbag, Chris is still a scumbag!
• Status Quo Is God:
  • Chris nearly takes away Sharon's ownership of the café, but Sharon gets it back after Tina leaves Chris.
  • Dorien plans to divorce Marcus and live with Luke, but backs out because she doesn't like cleaning, the flat was too sleazy and the sex wasn't sleazy enough.
• Take That!:
  • Dorien apologises for the bad cakes, but remarks about what else could you expect in Walthamstow.
  • Luke playing Guns N' Roses at three in the morning is a major turn-off for Dorien.
  • Sharon and Chris compare Tina to Margaret Thatcher.
• Visible Boom Mic: A boom mic dips into view when Tracey and Sharon are outside Luke's flat.
• White Flag: Dorien mentions waving one at Luke's rusty and unusable vacuum cleaner.
• Wingding Eyes: Sharon remarks that Tina has pound signs where her eyes should be.
• Your Door Was Open: Tracey mentions she's had to deal with three years of Dorien bursting in uninvited to take the piss out of her.

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