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Quotes: You Bastard
Cuz I need to watch things die, from a distance.
Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies.
You all need it too don't lie.
Why can't we just admit it?
Tool, "Vicarious"

"There, happy now? Pleased to see the mystery resolved? Ö God, youíre such an asshole, and I speak from experience. It only seems like yesterday I was at your level on the Pathetic-o-meter. Why should you give a shit how my life works out? Youíre killing yourself working twelve-hour days, getting fat on cheap take-out food, and your girlfriend is almost certainly fucking other guys. Just because youíve got a plasma screen TV and a big DVD collection doesnít mean youíre a free man, motherfucker. Youíre just a well-paid slave like all the other cattle out there. Even this comic was just a fifteen-minute respite from how hard weíre working you. You used to think the world was always like this, didnít you? The wars, the famine, the terrorism, the rigged elections. But now you know better, right? Now you know what happened to the heroes. And you know the funny thing? You know what makes me laugh now that Iím on the other side? Youíre just going to close this book and buy something else to fill that big, empty void weíve created in your life."
Wesley Gibson, Wanted

You've destroyed a beautiful planet . . . um . . . you horrible person.

"Why do you continue to follow your orders while your superiors betray you? Why did you come here? Well, I'll tell you then. You enjoy all the killing, that's why. Are you denying it? Haven't you already killed most of my comrades?"
Liquid Snake, Metal Gear Solid

"You could thumb your emergency cutoff, turn your eyes from the screen, walk out of the theater, close the book...but you don't. You are my accomplice, and my destroyer. My nemesis. My insatiable, blood-crazed god.
"Ah, ahhh, Christ...it hurts"
Caine, Heroes Die

"We're not up to feature length yet. What you want is a real ending with plausible plot development."

Stan: Oh my god, They Killed Kenny!
Kyle (looking and pointing directly at the viewer): You Bastards!!
Running Gag from South Park, at least once an episode for the first several seasons.

"What kind of sick twisted creature gets enjoyment from playing this kind of game?"
"What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be. You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, 'That's the bad guy.' So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy!"
Tony Montana, Scarface

"And that horrible act of child abuse became one of our most beloved running gags."
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, "Behind The Laughter"

"When you see me smash someone's skull, you enjoy it."
Mike Tyson

"'I must talk to Jesus Christ! Where is Jesus Christ?!', and St. Peter goes 'Hey, Jesus, did you call a cab? C'mon!' (the audience groans) A-ha! Yes! I heard it! Finally, the P.C.s! (hisses) We've crossed the politically correct line! It was okay to beat the shit out of him, but don't do the ethnic joke! (hisses) How Buddhist of you. Yes..."
Robin Williams, after a joke about Osama Bin Laden's death, "Live on Broadway".

"From the imaginations of bored housewives, I think. They're sitting around, husbands are at work, their vibrators on the blink, they're watching Jerry Springer and they come up with these ideas. Probably to get their own sexual pleasure. They're imagining me with an animal, they're fondling their genitalia. I think that's how it all starts."

Yahtzee: Now, I get the feeling Dreamweb's kind of lost interest in having puzzles at this point...
Gabriel: Did you just shoot your way through your problems?
Yahtzee: Yes, we just shot the security guard in the face.
Gabriel: And is he, like, and evil security guard? is he part of the conspiracy?
Yahtzee: Nope, he was a nice, friendly security guard who was being a bastion of civility to us, and now we've shot him in the face, because they couldn't come up with any better puzzles.
Let's Play Dreamweb

"A turning point comes when Walker and the player unwittingly do a bad thing. I felt like shit afterwards, like I played the Modern Warfare 2 airport scene with every civilian replaced with Bambi's mum. Stop guilting me, Spec Ops, that was your idea, you asshole!"

"I went into this movie knowing the plot was recycled a million times over. I just wish we would dispense with the formalities to get to the action.... Iím sorry, there is nothing new to this story anymore so dispense with all that and embrace what you really are. You are an exploitation film with a semi clever satirical bent. But even that is a little sabotaged when the characters pull out the ole soapbox and outright preach what we are seeing is wrong. That is the real lesson to be learned here. Satire can be brilliant at delivering a message while at the same time being very entertaining. When you deliver A MESSAGE you finger wag your audience and we just have to sit there and check our watches and wait for you to sit down so we can enjoy Michael C. Hall chewing the scenery."

"Fuck him! And fuck you too, internet! You clicked on this link, you wanted to see this! I'm like fourteen! The fuck is wrong with you people? You need to get out of your house, you're so desensitized to all this crap and pornography and all this bullshit that's on the internet... Fuck! You crazy fucks!"


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