"God damn you idiots in the media! I'm doing research on spider genetics, and you infer that I'm going to cure fatness or turn people into spidermen! Don't you understand anything about science? This is just like the Large Hadron Collider—scientists try to investigate subatomic particles, and you dogs on TV report that we're trying to make a black hole to destroy the world!"
— Dr. Lambha
"You're getting web all over the apartment!"
—Sahira, here
"It's like getting a new bicycle on Christmas! Even though it's snowing, you can't help but want to take it for a ride."
— Spinnerette, here
Spinnerette: I guess I'd better leave separately, find my own way to the Spider's Lair. Or should we call it the Web?
Sahira: Please don't call our apartment either of those things...
Sahira: Please don't call our apartment either of those things...
Sahira: "We" spiders? I've seen you flatten a spider with a phone book.
Spinnerette: That was before my origin story!
Spinnerette: That was before my origin story!
"Superhero? I am a supervillain! Didn't you hear my laugh?"
— Evil Spinnerette
Sahira: I don't [know any weavers]. Knit yourself a damn costume!
Heather: I've only just started. The only thing I can knit right now is a scarf. I suppose I could learn to make a sweater, but it doesn't sound very superhero-y.
Heather: I've only just started. The only thing I can knit right now is a scarf. I suppose I could learn to make a sweater, but it doesn't sound very superhero-y.
"I hit girls when necessary! Supervillains are about 50% female, sometimes you have to hit them."
— Mecha Maid
"What am I going to do? I didn't know real superheroes could get sued by fictional superheroes!"
— Spinnerette, here
"I'd do it myself, but now I have to go schmooze with our donors for funds all over again. I hate schmoozing!"
— Dr. Lambha
"A beautiful girl in a low-cut top stumbles into security late at night and finds me irresistable? Get real. I only fell for that the first time."
—Buzz Rickards
Dr. Universe: I take it you are well? I see you have a new addition to your team since the last time we...had a disagreement.
Tiger: You mean the last time I punched you through a pane of glass?
"If I were going to throw an insult at you, I wouldn't stoop to the obvious. I'd make fun of your stupid hat!"
— Spinnerette, to Greta Gravity
Green Gable: Greetings, fellow caped crusaders!
Tiger: Is anyone here even wearing a cape?
Tiger: Is anyone here even wearing a cape?
"You pitiful little man! This technology will change the world! Imagine energy so plentiful that nations would never again go to war over it! But all you see is a weapon, a tool for men like you to hold down—"
— Dr. Verde, to DARPA goons
Tiger: Wait, you're inviting me along? After the way we were arguing?
Green Gable: Of course! What's a disagreement among heroes? We have some werewolves to rescue!
Green Gable: Of course! What's a disagreement among heroes? We have some werewolves to rescue!
"I've had worse thrown at me by better."
— Dr. Universe, on Katt's Car Fu.
"You're half right, Spinnerette. I wasn't a villain then. I am now."
— Dr. Universe
"The American Civil War (1861-1865) was a civil war in the United States of America. The southern states, led by Jefferson Davis, seceded and formed the Confederate States of America. They fought against the US federal government, led by Abraham Lincoln.
This conflict is most notable for introducing steam-powered walking armor to the battlefield..."
This conflict is most notable for introducing steam-powered walking armor to the battlefield..."
— Spinnyverse Wikipedia
Kugelblitz: The master race shall rise again, and crush the Jews who run the world!
Greta: Hmm...if the Jews run the world, wouldn't that make them the master race?
Dr. Universe: By definition I suppose you are correct, Greta.
Maus: What?! No, the Jews are usurpers!
Kugelblitz: An outrage! The Jews have stolen the rightful place of the Aryans! It doesn't count, they cheated!
Greta: I didn't know there were such strict rules for who is the master race...
Greta: Hmm...if the Jews run the world, wouldn't that make them the master race?
Dr. Universe: By definition I suppose you are correct, Greta.
Maus: What?! No, the Jews are usurpers!
Kugelblitz: An outrage! The Jews have stolen the rightful place of the Aryans! It doesn't count, they cheated!
Greta: I didn't know there were such strict rules for who is the master race...
Kugelblitz: Dr. Universe, you must help us! The future of our race depends on it!
Dr. Universe: The future? You pathetic people are stuck in the past. The idea that the key to the human spirit lies in a strand of DNA is idiotic.
Dr. Universe: The future? You pathetic people are stuck in the past. The idea that the key to the human spirit lies in a strand of DNA is idiotic.
"My dear Tiger, there is no law against cloning. I've done nothing wrong. In fact, I've drained the coffers of racist extremists by several million dollars. You should thank me."
— Dr. Universe
Tiger: A good deed by a supervillain, that's rich.
Dr. Universe: Ask the average joe today who the villains are, and he'll name the banker! The scientist! The entrepreneur! Ask him who his heroes are, and he'll name an actor or a pop star! If that is the standard of the day, then I absolutely am a supervillain!
Dr. Universe: Ask the average joe today who the villains are, and he'll name the banker! The scientist! The entrepreneur! Ask him who his heroes are, and he'll name an actor or a pop star! If that is the standard of the day, then I absolutely am a supervillain!
— here
"If that's what they do out in the open, what do you think they do in secret?"
— Dr. Universe, here
Spinnerette: I'm curious, Dr. Universe. Why didn't you remove my mask when I was unconscious? Aren't you curious who I really am?
Dr. Universe: I know exactly who you are. You're Spinnerette.
Dr. Universe: I know exactly who you are. You're Spinnerette.
"Great. I just lost a fight because my stupid left head is a drama queen."
— Minerva
Sahira: Buzz, you want to be a hero, don't you? Why is that? Is a bit of praise worth getting killed for?
Buzz: It's not that. I traveled a lot as a kid. My grandparents are in Mexico, and I spent some time in southeast Asia. I think we forget just how good we have it here, you know? I'd like to do my part to keep it that way. I guess I'm just not smart enough to make Higgs bosons or super rice or whatever. I know I'd make a decent cop though.
Buzz: It's not that. I traveled a lot as a kid. My grandparents are in Mexico, and I spent some time in southeast Asia. I think we forget just how good we have it here, you know? I'd like to do my part to keep it that way. I guess I'm just not smart enough to make Higgs bosons or super rice or whatever. I know I'd make a decent cop though.
"Let's have a carousing montage!"
— Green Gable
Gabe: There we go, another smooth landing!
London: Er, Gabe, I think you may have crushed a car.
Gabe: Oh dear. Should I leave them a note?
London: Er, Gabe, I think you may have crushed a car.
Gabe: Oh dear. Should I leave them a note?
London: Gabe's tougher than he looks.
Minerva: Tougher than he looks still isn't very tough!
Minerva: Tougher than he looks still isn't very tough!
"The greatest superpower of them all is a sound mind. Remember that when you're back in Columbus."
— Gabe, here
Dr. Lambha: If you want to question me, speak to my lawyer!
Tiger:We could do this with lawyers present, or we could do it off the record. Off the record, how did you have a C-K reactor in your possession? Off the record, you don't have clearance to own C-K materials. Off the record, you're going to lose a lot more than tenure.
Tiger:We could do this with lawyers present, or we could do it off the record. Off the record, how did you have a C-K reactor in your possession? Off the record, you don't have clearance to own C-K materials. Off the record, you're going to lose a lot more than tenure.
— here
Tiger: You had a project that could be a weapon, and you put yourself in debt to a supervillain—
Dr. Lambha: Anything can be a goddamned weapon! From household bleach to a cricket bat!
Dr. Lambha: Anything can be a goddamned weapon! From household bleach to a cricket bat!
Mecha Maid: Vesper, prepare suit C for patrol. Remove nonlethal rounds. Load HE rounds.
Vesper: Warning, safety protocol does not allow for HE rounds in an urban environment.
MM: Override safety protocol. Vesper, remove concussion rockets. Load white phosphorus rockets.
Vesper: Warning, safety protocol prohibits use of napalm—
MM: Override safety protocol. Vesper, load thermite self-destruct charge.
Vesper: Warning, safety protocol—
MM: Override safety protocol.
Vesper: Warning, safety protocol does not allow for HE rounds in an urban environment.
MM: Override safety protocol. Vesper, remove concussion rockets. Load white phosphorus rockets.
Vesper: Warning, safety protocol prohibits use of napalm—
MM: Override safety protocol. Vesper, load thermite self-destruct charge.
Vesper: Warning, safety protocol—
MM: Override safety protocol.
"I see neither a cow nor a whale before me. I see a woman who has been gifted with power over gravity. I see an individual who has chosen freedom over submission. I see a superhero."
—Dr. Universe, to Greta Gravity
"Sometimes life isn't fair. But it's up to us to make it fair. That's what heroes do."
—Mecha Maid, here
London: Without a slogan shirt, how will people know that I have excellent taste in music and am an all-around, all-right dude?
Katt: You could talk to them.
London: Who has time for that?
Katt: You could talk to them.
London: Who has time for that?
