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Spinnerette / Heather Brown
A grad student at "Ohio Research University" who works under Dr. Lambha. Thanks to an accident involving her klutzy ways and the doctor's new "prototype genetic infusion chamber," she has found herself imbued with superpowers derived from spiders. This includes having the proportional strength of a spider ("GIRL ABS!") and super-healing along with six arms and high-tensile spider thread that shoots out of the base of her spine. However, she's not the only superpowered person around.
- Adorkable: She's a biology major and a klutz, so this trope shouldn't be surprising.
- Alternate Self: She has ones in the form of Golden Age Spinnerette, Silver Age Spinnerette, and Dark Age Spinnerette.
- Amazonian Beauty: She gets a Super Physique complete with larger breasts and "GIRL ABS" after getting into a Freak Lab Accident that gave her four extra arms and some superpowers. She decides to fights crime with an outfit that covers most of her body but still manages to be very revealing due to its form-fitting nature so her muscles and curves are quite visible.
- Ambiguously Bi: Shown to be crushing on Darien (who despite his appearance is a boy) early on in the story, but Bottom lefty gropes Mecha Maid every chance it gets. She later decides she is attracted to girls when confessed to by Mecha Maid and comments that she hasn't felt anything around boys before, but this point is left alone after she and Mecha Maid start dating, so whether or not she is attracted to guys is up in the air.
- Badass Bookworm: Though sometimes rather ditzy, the fight against Evil Spinnerette reminds us that she is quite competent in the book smarts department. Exploiting spider biology for a reverse cowgirl!
- Becoming the Mask: To the point she can no longer picture life with only two arms and would rather die than live that way.
- Berserk Button: She hates being teased over her short height and is infuriated whenever anyone so much as hints at mentioning it.
- Breast Expansion: Lampshaded by Heather herself, though it's also possible that, given her increased musculature, her pectoral muscles are just pushing them out further.
- Brought Down to Normal: she was temporarily brought down to two arms by Dr. Universe.
- Character Development: The end of the Glass arc sees Heather become significantly more mature and pragmatic. After all, it's very difficult to imagine the Spinny of volumes past being so coldly and unhesitatingly willing to burn an antagonist to death with thermite.
- Deal with the Devil: Downplayed, but she tries to make a deal with Dr. Universe that in exchange for curing Mecha Maid's ALS. As it is, she owes him a solid for saving her life, so long as it doesn't go against her morals.
- Did Not Think This Through: While she is very clever and resourceful, as shown in the first fight with Evil Spinnerette, and the fight with Col. Glass, she seldom considers the long-term consequences of her impulsive actions. This proves to be a double-edged sword for her. On the one hand, it makes her quick and unpredictable, often leading to victory against far more expirenced, and powerful, foes. On the other hand, if things don't immediately go her way, the consequences jump up and bite her, hard, as is seen when she's taken down by a rookie car thief who has no super-powers of any kind.
- Distracted by the Sexy: According to Word of God, Super MILF's breasts "transcend sex appeal" for her.
- Ditzy Genius: Doesn't head into Idiot Hero territory, though despite being quite intelligent she is shown to be clumsy and headstrong.
- Expressive Mask: The shape of the eye lenses changes to match her facial expressions.
- Expy: She's based on a Gender Flip of Spider-Man. It's fitting in regard to the series' Affectionate Parody status.
- Form-Fitting Wardrobe: Her spider silk costume is custom made. Her nipples show through unless she wears pasties, and her panties must really ride up in the back unless she's Going Commando.
- Gayngst: Went through this after Mecha Maid confessed to her.
- Girls Love Stuffed Animals: She has a pair of giant plush spiders that she often cuddles, one of which is named Mr. Webby.
- Guile Hero: How she brought down Colonel Glass. Her super powers are nowhere near the class that Glass is in, but she was still the one who finally brought him low. With a series of Batman Gambits, she goaded Glass into effectively maiming himself.
- Healing Factor: Can heal minor injuries in a manner of minutes.
- Heroic Build: GIRL ABS! The spider silk superhero costume shows all of her many muscles.
- Heroic Willpower: She's the first to break out of Delta Wave's puerile dream fantasy brainwashing, and Delta even commends her on it.
- Horrible Judge of Character: She's tricked by Evil Spinnerette twice, and the second time Alexis barely put any effort in.
- How Do I Shot Web?: Quite literally. Even after getting the hang of most of her powers, aiming her web is still proving tricky.
- The Immune: Spinny appears to be immune to the rage-inducing toxins Captain Alberta snuck into the Canadian League's water supply, possibly due to her powers being derived from spiders. Later shown to extend to other mind-altering drugs.
- The Knights Who Say "Squee!": She was enthralled by Ben Franklin's origin story. It's clear that she thinks he's the coolest old guy ever.
- Male Gaze: Early on in the story, her outfit was so form-fitting that her nipples were sticking out. While she got pasties to cover them, her butt gets plenty of focus.
- Mistaken for Pregnant: A running joke among the comment section is that Heather's fat suit actually makes her look pregnant, which was lampshaded when a little girl asked Heather if she was having a baby and didn't buy the reply that she was just overweight.
- Multi-Armed and Dangerous: The most obvious effect of her powers is that she got four extra arms.
- Multi-Armed Multitasking: She can use her arms to perform several actions at the same time, and they (especially Bottom Lefty) tend to act on their own.
- Mundane Utility: Using her own silk for knitting and making her costume.
- Never Heard That One Before: Cracks about deodorant usage? How... original.
- Never Say "Die": At first, Heather either can't face, or refuses to accept, the fact that Marilyn really doesn't have much time left, something which Marilyn finds quite frustrating, given that it makes talking about the matter with her very difficult. However, after a significant bit of wising up through Issue 18, Heather eventually makes her peace with Marilyn's mortality, imploring her not to rush to make her life any shorter.
- Organ Autonomy: When not using them, her extra limbs tend to act more or less on their own. Bottom Lefty is particularly... frisky around Mecha Maid.
- Secret Identity Identity: Heather considers Spinnerette to be her true identity to the point where she would rather die than lose her extra arms.
- Shell-Shocked Veteran: After actually killing Glass, she freaks right out when she thinks she's killed an animal.
- Shoot the Dog: Killing Col. Glass while he's down. At the end, even Heather recognizes that the only way to Make Sure He's Dead is to burn him to death while there's a chance, so she does what she has to do.
- Spider-Sense: She doesn't have it, but she thinks she does or at least likes to pretend.
- Super Strength: Those GIRL ABS aren't just for show.
- Took a Level in Badass: Started off incredibly clumsy and incapable of putting up much of a fight, even with enhanced strength and six arms. She's gradually gotten better, to the point where she's even able to quickly incapacitate Mecha Maid and the rest of the Canadian Superheroes.
- What Would X Do?: Asks herself What Would Tiger Do when Captain Alberta drugs the Canadians. It gives her a Heroic Second Wind where she methodically subdues each of the driven-mad superheroes.
- Wrestler in All of Us: She figures that the only way she feasibly can subdue a brainwashed but otherwise competent Mecha Maid is to out wrestle her.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: Though Heather knows she's in a superhero comic, is aware of all the various tropes that apply, and expresses Medium Awareness at times, she thinks she's in a straight example, and not an Affectionate Parody where Reality Ensues.
Mecha Maid / Marilyn Seong
A girl wearing an anime-inspired Meido outfit with the power to fly and shoot missiles. Turns out to be just a powered suit for a girl suffering from the very real ALS disease. While the suit (or more specifically, the headband) allows her to accomplish superhuman feats, the disease means she only has a couple years left to live. Korean and a big fan of the anime Mahoromatic, whence she got the inspiration for her outfit.
- Action Girl: The definitive example early in the series, as she knows what she's doing.
- A-Cup Angst: Is perturbed by Heather ogling Super MILF.
- All for Nothing: All the fighting they did against Adastrea was for naught. While she and Spinnerette were successful in saving Dr. Singh's life, the stem-cell treatment failed to help in any way.
- Anguished Declaration of Love: She's finally able to tell Heather how she feels at the end of Chapter 8, but the situation is less than ideal.
- Badass in Distress: Whenever her armor is shut off, she ends up as this, often to be saved by Heather.
- Batman Grabs a Gun: Equips her armor with high-explosive rounds, white phosphorus missiles, and a thermite self-destruct charge to take out Colonel Glass for good. Everything except the thermite charge fails, which Spinny thankfully takes to use on her own.
- Blade Below the Shoulder: She has a retractible segmented blade stored in her right gauntlet.
- Brainwashed and Crazy: Twice in the comics has she been poisoned by psychotropics into attacking Spinny. Of course, Spinny is immune to poisons, whereas Marilyn combines a thin and waifish frame, a debilitating disease and very low body mass...
- Brick Joke and Wham Episode: There is a very good reason Marilyn's musical instrument of choice is the flute.
- Cannot Spit It Out: Yes, she is interested in Heather. No, she isn't able to tell her until the end of Chapter 8.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Her birth mother was held hostage and killed by Colonel Glass. Even worse is the possibility that Glass might be her birth father.
- Disability Superpower: Her armour was originally developed to counteract her paralysis.
- Driven to Suicide: After Heather kills Colonel Glass, Marilyn tearfully admits that she intended to use her own fight with the man to commit suicide and take Glass with her.
- Dude, Where's My Reward?: After the Adastrea arc, the stem-cell treatment in Dr. Singh's office fails to aid in her condition.
- Expressive Hair: It is most noticeably at the end of Chapter 8, her headband...flap...things go down when she's sad then flare up when she's angry.
- Kaleidoscope Hair: In the first few pages of Issue 16 her hair goes from being purple to red due to an accidental coloring mix-up. A few pages later her hair goes from blonde in one panel to purple in the rest, before finally settling on the more plausible color black.
- Handicapped Badass: Outside of her Powered Armor she's confined to a wheelchair with ALS.
- Happily Adopted: By Park Seong.
- Important Haircut: Very subtly in Chapter 8, when she reveals that she's been using parts of her suit 24/7 for months just to be able to breathe. Her hair, formerly long, black, and straight, is now shorter, and apparently identical in color to her Mecha Maid wig. (It's also disheveled, but that's likely because she's lying in a hospital bed on a respirator.) Word of God is that she dyes her hair purple and wears a black wig in public.
- Lipstick Lesbian: Downplayed. She isn't really seen doing really feminine things, but she's far too feminine to be called a Butch Lesbian. She's more along the lines of an Ellen DeGeneres-type "Chapstick Lesbian."
- Mukokuseki: It's unlikely anyone would have known she was Asian if the comic hadn't told us. (Although that's only with her headset and armor on. As a civilian, her ancestry is more evident.)
- Ninja Maid: Possesses superhuman strength (though her ALS makes her unable to utilize it without her armor), and has a number of maid uniforms she dresses up in.
- Powered Armor: Developed by her father to help disabled people walk, and weaponized by her.
- Precision F-Strike: Though usually calm and rational, she gets very frustrated with Heather's trademark pluckiness while trying to discuss the subject of her mortality.Marilyn: God damn it, Heather! Stop making this so hard!Shit. Glass escapedI would have vaporized that son-of-a-bitch if you hadn't run in my way!Burn in Hell, you psychopath!
- Reed Richards Is Useless: Invented a device that lets paralyzed people walk, and just uses it for crime-fighting. She claims that she's afraid the tech would be used as a weapon. Given that Dr. Universe's backstory has this exact thing happened to him (U.S. military swooped in and tried to steal his research and kidnap his assistant), it's not all that ridiculous a fear. Becomes completely justified when we're introduced to Jennifer Troy, aka, "Adastrea" who outright copied her armor design, and goes on a violent crime spree.
- She Who Fights Monsters: When Mecha Maid learns that Colonel Glass his come to town, she becomes obsessed with killing him, equipping herself with explosive and incendiary weapons, including a thermite self-destruct charge. When she finally confronts him, she recklessly fires off a volley of HE missiles in the middle of Dr. Lambha's laboratory, which would have hit Spinny had Mecha Maid not aborted them at the last second, causing them to veer into the ceiling. She then lashes out at Spinnerette for getting in the way,note , and Spinnerette calls her out on how reckless she's getting in her quest for vengeance, stating that had the missiles hit their intended target Park (Marilyn's butler) and Dr. Lambha would have been killed in the blast.
- Shell-Shocked Veteran: Her disastrous fight with Colonel Glass seems to have left her with some psychological scars. One of the Sheila Sisters triggers her PTSD by shattering some windows and windshields, and gets gunned down (with rubber bullets). A couple of strips later, Heather touching her hair while leaning in close for a kiss caused Marilyn to flash back to this strip.
- Slasher Smile: After pinning the defeated Sheilas down, Mecha Maid remarks she she was afraid she'd have to use lethal ordinance, but her frightening smile doesn't quite match her words.
- Super Strength: Mecha Maid's superhuman strength derives not from her armor, but from her own muscles, augmented by technology in her maid headband. The armor itself provides weaponry and flight capabilities.
- Taking You with Me: Equips her suit with a thermite self-destruct charge to kill Colonel Glass. However, when she tries to activate it, her suit, already heavily damaged from her fight with Glass, malfunctions and results in her receiving a nasty shock instead.
- Ultimately, it's how she takes down "Adastrea" by using an E.M.P. that disables her as well, although by that point, her armor was pretty much non-functional anyway.
- Violently Protective Girlfriend: Lay a harmful hand on Heather, or at least look like you are, and she'll arm a missile immediately.
- Tareme Eyes: In her upbeat super identity she has rounded eyes.
- Teen Genius: Helped design her own Powered Armor.
- Transparent Closet: Her attraction towards Heather is pretty obvious, especially for Sahira. Green Gable didn't think she was in the closet at all. However, she chooses to hide her true feelings from Heather.
- Tsurime Eyes: In her melancholy civilian identity, her eyes are pointed.
- Twofer Token Minority: Threefer Token Minority, really: Asian (Specifically Korean), disabled (Due to ALS), and a lesbian.
- Tyke Bomb: While Marilyn was still in the womb, her biological mother was exposed to radiation by the North Korean government in order to produce another superpowered individual for the country.
- Your Days Are Numbered: Comes with the territory of having a terminal illness.
Tiger / Jeff Coleman
Formerly a police officer who was given superpowers by the previous "Tiger" after he was shot during a robbery gone wrong. His main traits include super-strength and a short temper, but he knows a lot of hidden superhero history. His Canadian ex-wife divorcing him over his alter-ego lead to an irrational prejudice against Canadians.
- Berserk Button: Many.
- Being called 'Black Tiger'
- Thinking his 'Spirit of the Tiger' is a euphemism for steroids
- Any mention of Canada. He gets over this one after being helped by the Legion of Canadian Superheroes.
- Charles Atlas Superpower: He is deeply angered by the idea that he gained his bulk via steroids rather than intense training and drinking lots of protein shakes. In the book-only Chapter 5, this is hinted to not be entirely true. The Spirit of the Tiger does indeed account for some of his musculature.
- Captain Ethnic: He's very adamantly not this, but most citizens think he is. Calling him "Black Tiger" is a good way to piss him off.
- Comes Great Responsibility: Ultimately why he continued to be a superhero despite his wife's protests.
- Doing In the Scientist: "Spirit of the Tiger" is not an euphemism for steroids. It is a legitimate supernatural force.
- Genius Bruiser: Is a skilled detective and the most reasonable of the Ohio Superheroes.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: The most temperamental of the heroes introduced.
- Heroic Build: The guy is a mountain of muscle with a relatively tiny head on top!
- Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Tiger is enormous, especially compared to Mecha Maid.
- It's All My Fault: He has a tendency to take responsibility for the failings of his team. In Issue 12, it causes him to step down as their leader.
- Lawful Stupid: Greta states that Tiger will uphold the law to the letter no matter what, like Civil War era Tony Stark.
- The Leader: He's the leader of the superheroes of Columbus Ohio. This is why he takes responsibility for the mistakes made by his two teammates.
- Noble Bigot: Dislikes Canadians, but is willing to work together with the League of Canadian Superheroes despite his misgivings. Thankfully, he grows out of it.
- Overprotective Dad: He sees Mecha Maid and Spinnerette more like daughters he has to protect than teammates to rely on and it clouds his judgement on missions. For this he is chewed out by the Canadians.
- Take Up My Sword: Before his superhero career, he was a cop on the beat. He responded to a store robbery gone wrong and found an old man mortally wounded at the scene. With a final comment of "You'll do nicely", the old man passed on the Spirit of The Tiger into Jeff... and then died.
- Team Dad: He sees his teammates like his daughters and thus gets quite overprotective of them.
Legion of Canadian Superheroes
A descendant of the original Anne of Green Gables. Despite being a male, his family made him wear the girly outfit, on the basis that Green Gable is a Legacy Character passed from mother to child, and just because that child is a boy is no reason to end the tradition.
- Badass Normal: Unlike the others in his team, he has no super powers but he can still bring down super villains.
- Charles Atlas Superpower: He isn't said to have any powers, but he's been training to become a superhero since birth. He has strength of character!
- Captain Patriotic: He is Canadian and proud of it.
- Formerly Fat: He was once overweight, and does not like being reminded of it.
- Legacy Character: Inherited the suit from his ancestors, all of whom were female.
- Heroic Build: Gable trains rigorously, and it shows.
- The Cape: Is courteous and courageous, despite not possessing any obvious powers.
- Large Ham: He always speaks dramatically and when entering a room he is likely to strike a pose.
- The Strategist: Green Gable calls strategy while his super-powered teammates handle the heavy lifting in a battle against the Composite Soul.
- Wholesome Crossdresser: He dresses in women's clothing because he was raised to, and is dating Colonel Långstrump.
Werewolf of London, Ontario
Werewolf of London, Ontario
A Canadian werewolf who usually goes by the name London. Annoyed that there aren't many high-level superhero jobs in Canada.
- Amazon Chaser: Gushed over Minerva after she used a magic spell to send a composite soul beast back to Hell.
- Ass Kicking Pose: Has a nice one here.
- Chivalrous Pervert: He started hitting on Minerva quickly after meeting her, but he's also a Nice Guy.
- Cursed with Awesome: Cursed with lycanthropy due to a werewolf attack, initially he had all of the usual problems but by the time of the story he's mastered all of them. He could switch back and forth if he could remember how.
- Fan Dumb: In universe: London occasionally has to deal with obnoxious fans with a very poor understanding of lycanthropy.
- Handsome Lech: Is dating Minerva but openly ogles Super MILF, and tries to hang out with Katt and date Minerva simultaneously... Archie-style.
- Nice Hat: Constantly wears a trilby before Gable crushes it.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Everyone calls him "London". His real name is unknown.
- Our Werewolves Are Different: Practice has allowed him to retain lupine form at all hours without the berserk quality common to new werewolves... but he's forgotten how to turn human.
Katt O' Nine Tails
A French-Canadian catgirl with nine prehensile tails. According to Heather, she was working at an animal shelter and somehow found a magical cat that hid there since the War of 1812.
- Artistic License – Biology: Katt's tails appear to emerge from her sacrum rather than her coccyx.
- Bifauxnen: With her coat on she looks quite masculine.
- Bi the Way: Hinted at, but not confirmed, when she suggestively offers Mecha Maid a massage. She also seems a little too eager to Skinship Grope Minerva, who not too long ago was accusing her of trying to steal London away.
- Cat Girl: Has pointed ears, fangs, claws, and nine prehensile tails.
- Every Thing Sounds Sexier In French: The team's resident francophone. Since almost everything in Canada has to be written in both English and French, she sometimes repeats what Gables says in French.
- Hartman Hips: Katt is only slightly above Mecha Maid on the official bust size chart, but her hips make up for it.
- Just Friends: With London, according to Minerva, although she is a little too quick to deny having romantic feelings towards him.
- Kimono Fanservice: She puts on a kimono to do massages.
- Male Gaze: Just like Spinnerette, she gets a few flattering shots that show off her butt. Which is one of the only parts of her that distinguishes her from a male.
- Mundane Utility: Uses her prehensile tails for massages and lifting heavy objects.
- Precision F-Strike: Coupled with Bilingual Bonus, since when annoyed she tends to respond with rather vulgar Quebecois profanity.
- Prehensile Tail: She has nine of them, and they're very strong.
- Stripperiffic: In contrast to her fairly conservative civilian clothes and military-style uniform, her choice of swimsuit appears to be a strapless bikini and a G-string.
Captain AlbertaA former member of the Legion of Canadian Superheroes who was sent to a three-month sensitivity training camp. He returned prematurely to find Minerva had taken his spot on the team and immediately swore revenge.
- Badass Longcoat: A brown trenchcoat, to be precise.
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": Has an A on his hat.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Tried to kill his former teammates when Gable revoked his membership due to him being rude to Minerva.
- The guy is pretty blatantly an extremely bigoted water-bending version of Wolverine, emphasized by appearing right as the team is discussing who their Wolverine is, and right down to being called the Crazy Calgarian in reference to Wolverine being the Cranky Canadian.
- His backstory and powers are identical (or very nearly so) to a Spider-Man villain, Hydro-Man, as is his temper.
- Face–Heel Turn: Snaps when he believes the team has replaced him with Minerva.
- Fat Bastard: Has a large paunch, and is a bigoted jerk.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Extremely hot-tempered, which is one of the reasons he was cut from the team. Gable later exploits this to bring him down.
- Jerkass: The reason he was kicked off the team.
- Making a Splash: He can control water.
- Master Poisoner: Uses a toxin to induce Hair-Trigger Temper in his former teammates, hoping they'll kill each other.
- Nice Hat: A wide-brimmed brown hat with an "A" on it.
- Noble Bigot: He likes to think he's this, but it didn't take a whole lot for him to make a Face–Heel Turn.
- Perma-Stubble: Is constantly unshaven, adding to his gruff and crude appearance.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Becomes this after his Face–Heel Turn, his rudeness being the reason he was kicked off The Team in the first place.
Alexis Woodrow a.k.a. "Evil Spinnerette"
A teenaged girl who claimed to have come up with the alias "Spinnerette" before Heather did. She used magic and instructions gathered from Dungeons & Dragons books to turn herself into an avatar of the spider queen Lolth, but was defeated by Spinnerette. She got off with a relatively light sentence as she was legally considered a minor in the eyes of the US justice system, but later made a comeback.
- Alpha Bitch: Complete with two underlings, Dakota and Julian the latter of whom she transforms into a spiderwoman because if he'd remained male, he would have been a lot smaller and a tasty snack.
- Arachnid Appearance and Attire: Has a spider for the lower half of her body and wears a costume with a webbing motif.
- The Atoner: In Issue 7, she voiced regret for turning herself into a Drider, and voiced interest in somehow reversing the transformation. Ultimately averted, it was all an act.
- Blatant Lies: To get out of fighting Spinnerette on someone else's terms, Alexis feeds her a spiel of obviously dubious veracity. What cements it as being lies is the fact that just as she disappears through the portal, Alexis promises Heather they'll fight again, but on her own terms.
- The Bus Came Back: After defeating Spinnerette, she skipped town with Dakota and Julien, stating it was unlikely Spinny would ever see her again. Fourteen issues later she's summoned to fight by the Editor alongside Silver Age Evil Spinnerette and Dark Age Evil Spinnerette. She gets off by feeding a heap of Blatant Lies to Heather, who of course believes every word of it, and departs with the promise of a rematch on her own terms.
- Dark Action Girl: As Heather's evil counterpart.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Embraces being the villain to the point of demanding Heather refer to her as Evil Spinnerette.
- Evil Counterpart: To Spinnerette.
- Evil Laugh: How she generally introduces herself.
- Extra Eyes: Gets four smaller eyes on her forehead post-transformation.
- Friendly Enemy: Appears to genuinely like Heather, despite their differences
- Functional Magic: Dungeons and Dragons magic works the same in real life that it does in the game.
- Half-Human Hybrid: Turned herself into a drider: human torso, the lower body of a spider.
- Hellish Pupils: After her transformation she is frequently drawn with slitted pupils.
- I Am A Humanitarian: Strongly implied by this guest art.
- It's All About Me: Is very arrogant, and the reason she transformed herself in the first place was to rebel against her controlling parents.
- Karma Houdini: Because of her status as a minor (and her rich family), she couldn't be tried in a court of law, despite numerous instances of breaking-and-entering, theft, illegal use of magic, and assault, and more or less got off with a light sentence. In Chapter 7, she creates two more Drider minions and soundly beats Heather in one-on-one combat, and leaves the city, facing no repercussions.
- Lonely Rich Kid: Alexis' upbringing appears to have been both wealthy and painfully stultifying, with implications of endless and unnecessary (to Alexis) sessions with psychiatrists, doctors, and clergy after her transformation. (Played with a bit though; Dakota and Julian are definitely friends, even though Alexis threatens to kill them both if Heather won't fight her.)
- Manipulative Bitch: Tricks Heather by faking repentance... twice, and Heather falls for it both times.
- Meaningful Name: Arguably her last name Woodrow.
- Most Common Super Power: Her enormous bust size is lampshaded by Tiger and Mecha Maid.
- Of Corsets Sexy: Her costume is a webbing-themed corset.
- Spider People: She uses a ritual to summon Lolth and turn herself into a drider. And she's now got two drider minions at her command.
- Teens Are Monsters: She's only 16, and unlike Dr. Universe and Greta Gravity, has no sympathetic backstory to explain her Start of Darkness. She became a villain For the Evulz and mutated herself just to rebel against her controlling parents.
- Walk the Earth: The true motivation of Alexis' confrontation with Spinnerette: to get the hell out of Columbus.
- Worthy Opponent: Refers to Heather as such before leaving.
- Younger Than They Look: She's only 16, but looks a lot older.
An objectivist Evil Genius who is working with Dr. Lambha on the genetic infusion chamber project. Dr. Universe was once a respected scientist researching the "Cherenkov-Kirby Reaction" but reportedly turned evil after he read a Ayn Rand novel. The Government tried to shut down his free energy research, based on the suspicion that he was a Communist sympathizer, and abducted him and his research assistant (Greta). He read the novel while in capitivity.
- Anti-Villain: Easily the most sympathetic of the villains, as he's not exactly evil.
- Einstein Hair: Balding, as he appears to have lost most of his hair after he became a supervillain, and the rest stands on end.
- Benevolent Boss: Both before and after his Start of Darkness, he's shown to treat his assistant Greta well and is quite fond of her.
- Big Bad: The most outstanding candidate thus far, for a given value of bad.
- Blue and Orange Morality: When you get right down to it, Dr. U isn't exactly evil to begin with. It's just that his principles are way out of step with society.
- Card-Carrying Villain: A complex case. On one hand, he won't dispute anyone calling him a villain but he considers himself a scientist first and foremost, and at one point berates Greta for "playing the villain". On the other hand, he claims that society at large considers scientists in general to be villains and pop-starts to be heroes.
- Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Subverted in his backstory. He and Greta were working on free, limitless energy, but they planned to give it to China, who funded their research and had the greatest projected need of it. Dr. Universe and Greta were then shut down and imprisoned by the government under suspicion of being Communist sympathizers.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Works for Nazis only because he knows their plan will fail, and visibly enjoys it when it finally does. It doesn't hurt that they are paying him a lot of money, and he considers draining racists of their money as a service to the community.
- A Father to His Men: Though Greta is technically his assistant, they're as close as family. It was Universe who encouraged Greta not to be ashamed of her plus sized figure.
- For Science!: His primary motivation is the progression of science, but he doesn't ignore potential practical applications.
- Friendly Enemy: Towards Spinnerette, to the point that he saves her life.
- Heroic Build: Cuts quite a massive figure for a scientist.
- I Did What I Had to Do: When he had to cut off Spinny's extra arms to save her life. From the dialogue, he's really apologetic.
- Kick the Son of a Bitch: Forcefully taking the Genetic Infusion Chamber from Dr. Lambha during the press conference would have been a serious theft if the latter wasn't such a Jerkass Bad Boss.
- Labcoat of Science and Medicine: His getup consists of this and goggles. He also wore red lab gloves in his initial appearance, but quickly abandoned them for some hi-tech gauntlets (presumably because he knew he would be going into the field), and had those ever since.
- Mad Scientist: Zig-Zagged; in practice he's relatively calm and pragmatic, even reasonable. On the other hand, he's pretty amoral in scientific pursuits, even immoral at times, and made a career of being completely willing to commit heinous acts for science (such as vivisecting werewolves to find out how they transform).
- Mundane Utility: The CK Glove isn't just for power amplification, it also makes espressos and plays flac files
- Noble Demon: Considering he saves Spins' life twice when she has having a superpower melt down. He had ample opportunity to experiment on her at the time, but insisted on her volunteering for such treatment. He also has the courtesy to not remove Spinnerette's mask as he helps her.Spinnerette: Aren't you curious who I really am?
Dr. Universe: I know exactly who you are. You're Spinnerette.
- Omnidisciplinary Scientist: He apparently is a nuclear physicist who was researching limitless energy, dabbles into the workings of gravity, a geneticist, and also a surgeon.
- Only in It for the Money: Keeping up with his Objectivist philosophy, this is the reason he does anything. He doesn't believe in Nazi or Neo-Confederate ideals for a second, but he'll work for them if the money is good (and is confident their idiotic plan requiring his services would fail anyway).
- Power Armor: His gauntlets. He appears to be wearing a full set under his lab coat, but it conceals anything but the gauntlets.
- Pragmatic Villainy:
- He calls off an attack on the heroes when he finds out there are other "rogue werewolves" he can take.
- When Spinnerette asks for his help against Colonel Glass and even explains how fighting Glass would help him, Universe declines, stating that he and Greta only engage in battles that they can win.
- Steven Ulysses Pervillain: His real name is Ulysses N. Verde.
- Secret Test of Character: Administers a subtle one to Spinnerette, asking her if she'd accept to selflessly donate her body for testing to give the world free energy. It all sounds like your typical Mad Scientist rhetoric, until you realize that he's an objectivist. He's by definition opposed to altruism. Either that, or he has a conscience in spite of his beliefs or he believes being a good person when necessary is ultimately more profitable, making this a case of Blue and Orange Morality.
- Strawman Political: Dr. U is a better Objectivist than virtually any Rand fan you'll meet in real life, including Rand herself. This makes him a very unusual positive note case.
- Un Evil Laugh: A rather lackluster "Heh... haha!" He occasionally wishes that he was "more maniacal".
- Villains Out Shopping: Issue 15 has him and Greta Gravity going out for some ice cream. Super MILF takes the time to stop by and melt their ice creams for no real reason before flying off.
Dr. Universe's well-endowed assistant, she and Heather initially do not get along. Greta has the power to create her own localized gravity fields, which lets her pick up and throw objects of almost any size.
- All Germans Are Nazis: Averted, she's visibly uncomfortable around the Nazi remnants who commission a Hitler clone from her boss. Of course she's German-Brazilian so her "fatherland" is not the same as theirs.
- Anti-Villain: Like Dr. Universe, she's not genuinely evil.
- Big Beautiful Woman: She's chubby but extremely well-endowed, and her outfit reveals a lot of cleavage. If she's not providing fanservice in the main series, then it's usually in donation wallpapers. Doctor Universe made her eat enough food to gain over thirty kilograms of weight in their backstory since she would need the extra energy for their escape attempt. Much to her chagrin, since she was trying to lose weight.
- But Not Too Foreign: She's of German ancestry, but is proudly Brazilian born and raised. note
- Cooldown Hug: When Heather starts freaking out over the loss of her extra arms in Issue 12, Greta gently cuddles and reassures her.
- The Dragon: For Doctor Universe. She tends to do all of the fighting and heavy "lifting" for him.
- Friendly Enemy: With Spinnerette, to the point that they're more like Vitriolic Best Buds. Despite often being on the opposite side, Greta does seem to be genuinely fond of Heather.
- Gag Boobs: Her enormous bust prevents her from seeing what's directly below her.
- Genki Girl: You might not want to get her started about Brazil (or, even more so, futebol). You might not be able to handle the gushing.
- Gravity Master: Her power is control over gravity within a limited radius.
- Hot Scientist: Her former job was as Dr. Universe's lab assistant. Glasses: check. Braid: check. Amply filled-out labcoat and cardigan: check.
- I Was Just Passing Through: Claims that she saved Heather and Mecha Maid from burning to death out of "[her] own rational self-interest."
- Meganekko: Before she became a villain, anyway.
- Most Common Superpower: Quite literally. Her size is a side effect of her power - and her power is to defy gravity.
- Nice Hat: A felt hat that she's quite defensive about.
- Noble Demon: Like her boss, she's not truly evil, but has embraced being a villain.
- Oktoberfest: Her costume, given to her by some racist guards.
- Pet the Dog: Her reaction to Heather's despair at losing her extra arms was nothing short of heartwarming.
- Vain Sorceress: Heather deduces that she's using her gravity powers as a makeshift corset and push-up bra. Hence, why she has still an hourglass figure and shapely breasts despite being chubby. While Greta is quick to drop the conversation, she's doesn't deny it either.
- Villains Out Shopping: Issue 15 has her and Dr. Universe going out for some ice cream. Super MILF takes the time to stop by and melt their ice creams for no real reason before flying off.
Colonel GlassA member of the Korean People's Army with telekinetic control over glass, and who has a past with Mecha Maid and her family.
- Absurdly Sharp Blade: He can manipulate glass on an apparently molecular level, enabling him to create blades sharp enough to cleanly slice through metal.
- Arch-Enemy: Strongly implied to have been one to White Heron.
- Ax-Crazy: Look at his expression on the cover of Issue 18! He revels in violence any bloodshed.
- Bandaged Face: He's completely swathed in bandages.
- Berserk Button: He's from Best Korea, so he doesn't take kindly to insults to Father Kim Il Sung.
- Boxing Lessons for Superman: He's able to identify different types of glass on sight.
- Character Death: Col. Glass is the first super villain in the comic to die. And it's by Buzz's and Spinny's hands, no less. They cremate him to make sure he doesn't heal. He's the first of the comic's main fatalities outside of a flashback.
- Colonel Kilgore: He's a(n allegedly former) Colonel in the North Korean People's Army.
- Commissar Cap: Wears one as part of his military uniform.
- The Cracker: He can apparently use the silicon in glass shards to re-program attack drones on the fly. He's shown doing this twice. The first drone he crashes into a government black-ops counter-terrorism van that was launching them, and the second drone he tries to use to secure the C-K reactor to ship back to North Korea. Tries being the correct word as he is intercepted by Spinnerette.
- Crazy-Prepared: Deliberately rigged the hostage exchange to provoke a fight with White Heron and filled a nearby river with glass shards to use as ammo.
- Deader Than Dead:
- Had his head blasted into a gory mess by Buzz and then had his corpse cremated. No way in hell he survived.
- Marilyn confirms in the next chapter that he's not coming back.
- Deadpan Snarker: Colonel Glass is fond of sarcastic humour and making cutting remarks while he shreds his opponents with glass shards.
- Death by Irony: After being led into a greenhouse by Spinny, he is caught in the spray of glass shrapnel caused by the explosion of the bomb set off by her. Overwhelmed by the dozens of pieces of glass flung down upon him, he is unable to control them all and gets shredded by the stragglers. It doesn't kill him, but it incapacitates him long enough for Spinny and Buzz to finish him off.
- The Dreaded: Everyone that has heard of him fears him, and his appearance in Columbus is enough to get the city sealed off. Even in a different hemisphere, his name scares people.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Glass may be a bloodthirsty psychopath, but when he learns that Mecha Maid is dying of ALS as a result of North Korea's superpower-breeding camps, he calls off their fight, apologizes, and tells her to spend her remaining time with her loved ones before leaving.
- Faux Affably Evil: He can be relatively polite when he wants to be, and may invoke Villainous Valor on occasion. Though he's quick to ditch it when the opportunity arises, and there's still the little matter of him being a Grade-A psycho.
- Flechette Storm: Col. Glass uses glass offensively by levitating shards and firing them at opponents, He can also fire larger shards to cause a Storm of Blades.
- Genre Savvy: He reads TVTropes, and even cites one of the pages to a General he's about to kill (Faceless Goons to be precise)
- Godzilla Threshold: Prompts this in Marilyn, who loads up on several highly lethal and incendiary implements in her suit, overriding her AI helper Vesper's safety protocol warnings each step of the way. Including a thermite self-destruct charge.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: A guy honking his car horn at him sets him off. And by "sets him off" we mean "imagines liquefying everyone in the car and dismembering random passersby." He's able to resist the temptation of doing it for real, but a cat in a nearby alley isn't so lucky.
- Healing Factor: His secondary power gives him "Level 4" regenerative abilities. In one instance he regrows part of his arm moments after it was severed in an attack. He is even able to recover from white phosphorus. So Buzz blows his head away and than has Heather cremate him before he can try it again.
- Hero Killer: Is considered a Class Triple-A super villain and, in a more literal sense, killed the legendary White Heron in the 1980s.
- In the Hood: Sports a black hoodie while "incognito" in the US, and somehow fits his military uniform underneath it and some jeans.
- It's Personal: Fought and killed Marilyn's adoptive mother, the South Korean superheroine White Heron, in 1985.
- Katanas Are Just Better: Forms a katana out of glass to slice apart Mecha Maid's rockets.
- Kill It with Fire: Since he can block, deflect, or destroy most attacks using glass, and his Healing Factor allows him to recover from any injury quickly, the only way to really defeat Col. Glass is to burn him to death. Which Spinnerette finally does at the end of Glass' arc, using thermite after white phosphorus proved ineffective.
- Knight of Cerebus: Stated as such in the comments. He also appears to be the first truly psychotic villain (Alexis wanted to rebel against her stiflingly proper parents, and Dr. Universe is an Anti-Villain with a case of Blue and Orange Morality. Col. Glass here revels in ripping people to bloody shreds with his glass shards, the first on-panel killing in the comic.)
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Marilyn believes that Glass might be her biological father.
- Meaningful Name: He's a colonel with control over glass. 'Nuff said.
- Mind over Matter: Has psychokinetic control over glass. Any form of glass.
- North Koreans with Nodongs: He's a(n allegedly ex-)Colonel in the Korean People's Army. He also leads some more conventional North Korean soldiers at the hostage exchange.
- Not Quite Dead: This guy just won't go down. Not even when Mecha Maid uses white phosphorous on him. It took a volley of gunshots to the head and being set on fire to finally off him.
- Older Than They Look: He's at least in his 40's, but looks the same as he did in 1985.
- People's Republic of Tyranny: He's an agent of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, aka North Korea.
- Pet the Dog: When he finds out that Mecha Maid is dying as a result of the breeding camps and experiments, he apologizes and leaves her alive, telling her to spend the rest of her allotted time with her loved ones.
- Rasputinian Death: Of the "nothing less would have taken him down" variety. To wit, he has his arm torn off in a building collapse, then Marilyn lights him on fire with white phosphorus, then Heather tricks him into shredding himself with a rain of glass, and then Buzz blows his head off before he and Heather finally cremate him with a thermite charge.
- Scary Teeth: His teeth are shark-like.
- Slasher Smile: Sports one on the cover of Issue 16, and throughout the issue as well.
- The Sociopath: Used glass shards to peel a cat like an orange For the Evulz, and rigged a hostage exchange by bringing one extra prisoner - baby Marilyn, who's hinted to be his own daughter - and a truck with glass headlights, and then trying to turn the extra prisoner into a Human Sacrifice for Kim Il-sung as a ploy to get White Heron to drop her guard.
- Super Soldier: He's the product of a North Korean CK super soldier program, which also produced Lt. Warthog, Mecha Maid, and White Heron.
- Worthy Opponent: Acknowledges Mecha Maid as one after she tries to activate her self-destruct to kill him. When it fails due to her suit malfunctioning, he gives her a chance to stand up so she can die on her feet.
- Would Hurt a Child: Brings baby Marilyn as an extra prisoner and tries to kill her in order to provoke a fight with White Heron. Especially awful since she could very well be his own biological daughter.
The EditorA reality-warper capable of "editing" multiple realities into one.
- Affably Evil: He's quite friendly for a villain attempting to destroy the multiverse.
- Nightmare Fetishist: He proclaims that he wants to create a merged reality even more darker and edgier than the Dark Age of Comics.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: He's stated to look nigh-identical to Stan Lee.
- Not Evil, Just Misunderstood: As it turns out, he's not really a villain after all, and his "reboot" wouldn't cause any lasting harm to the existing universes. He was just deliberately playing the villain to keep Spinnerette distracted by pitting her against villains he knew she'd ultimately triumph over.
- Reality Warper: He can open portals to other dimensions, edit reality to string together coincidences and plot devices, and is allegedly seeking to create a Merged Reality by "rebooting" the multiverse. He settles for creating a space opera universe instead.
- Take That: Given the nature of his Evil Plan, he's probably a meta commentary on the likes of New52 and Secret Wars (2015).
Jennifer Troy/AdrasteaA former patient of Dr. Singh, returned for revenge after contracting ALS.
- Abnormal Limb Rotation Range: She's shown twisting her torso so that it's perpendicular to her hips twice.
- Ambiguously Brown: Anglo-sounding name + medium-brown skin + straight dark hair = ???
- Anecdotal Fallacy: Combined with False Cause. When Dr. Sing expressly points out that there's no empirical proof that his stem-cell technique causes ALS, Adastraea insists her ALS itself is the empirical evidence, simply because the ALS manifested after Dr. Singh's treatment. She conveniently ignores many other possible sources for her condition, especially since she never sought out any other medical professionals to offer an opinion, or treatment.
- Armor-Piercing Question: Spinny gives one to her after she seemingly murders Dr. Singh, asking her if there is anything left in her life except revenge and if anyone really loves her. Although it doesn't cause her to doubt her actions or her crusade against Singh, it does convince her to spare Mecha Maid and end her rampage.
- Crazy-Prepared: A well placed EMP should have taken her down. Instead, her armor has a compressed gas "auto-eject" feature should it be disabled, and she somehow has enough room for a thigh holster with a gun inside those presumably skin hugging armored legs.
- Deadly Disc: Combined with Improbable Weapon User. She takes the lid of a stem cell tank and throws it through a window snapping Spinerette's spider thread trellis in an attempt to stop Dr. Singh's escape.
- Despair Event Horizon: Essentially what she's deliberately invoking. She believes the deaths of people with ALS are inevitable and that killing Singh is just saving them from false hope.Adrastea: We will all DIE. But I will die with my eyes open!
- Did Not See That Coming: She was apparently quite surprised that somebody would think of using an E.M.P. against her and her Powered Armor. She also failed to think that Dr. Singh would actually defend himself with his Cricket bat.
- Don't Make Me Destroy You: When confronted by security guards, she warns them to stand down. When they refuse, she stomps them into the ground.
- Evil Counterpart: As a woman dying of ALS and clad in powered armor, she's a villainous counterpart to Mecha Maid. Her Nemesis Suit is also explicitly based off of the Mecha Maid armor (though not in appearance, obviously).
- For Justice: What she believes her motive is. She actually has the gall to say that her murdering Dr. Sing, thus endangering his patients, and trying to kill Mecha Maid is "justice."
- Gadgeteer Genius: She managed to design and build her Nemesis Suit using only video footage of other powered armors in action, specifically Mecha Maid's, which she considered the best out of all the ones she had seen. Not only that, but she managed to improve upon the Mecha Maid armor's specs, or so she claims.
- Hate Sink: Her misguided efforts at revenge and to prevent others from suffering like she did, which have endangered innocents, have caused her to be negatively received by the majority of readers, as evidenced by the tone of the entries here.
- Hero Killer: She believes she killed Dr. Singh (not an invalid assumption), and actually pats herself on the back for it, despite Mecha Maid outright telling her that she killed all of Dr. Singh's patients too.
- Hope Spot: Being hit with an EMP, disables her... until she ejects her power suit, and draws a gun. Somewhat subverted since without the suit, it left her without any of her powers making her more vulnerable enough that Singh was able to knock her out with his cricket bat.
- I Am Not Left-Handed: She has ALS, so disabling her suit should stop her, right? Turns out she hasn't had it long enough to affect her limbs yet, so she simply takes her suit off, stands up, and draws a gun.
- Insane Troll Logic: Despite going to Dr. Singh because of massive neurological trauma in the first place, after serving a tour in Afghanistan, (where the enemy has very little regard for the rules of the Geneva convention), she, without contacting Dr. Singh in any way, places the blame for her condition entirely on his work, and the procedure that restored her ability to walk. It would be like a patient getting her appendix removed and then fire-bombing the hospital because she developed colon cancer a few months later, without contacting the hospital, or other medical professionals, in any way beforehand.
- Knight of Cerebus: Only the second villain in the comic's run to be presented as a 100% serious threat.
- Knight Templar: Is so utterly convinced that Dr. Singh is responsible for her condition, that she's using lethal force against nurses who work in his office, in front of other patients.
- Meaningful Name: Her codename, the name of her armor, and her MO are taken from the Greek goddess of revenge, who is implacable and ruthless to the point of being more-than-willing to endanger and hurt innocents in pursuit of her "justice."
- Moral Myopia: In response to Mecha Maid screaming "AND HIS PATIENTS," she replies "an eye for an eye." Further when Mecha Maid says "you want revenge against me?" She goes, "no. JUSTICE."
- Murder Is the Best Solution: Her hat. Even if Dr. Singh really was responsible for her condition, there are many better ways to handle it. Going to the press, writing an open letter to the authorities, filing a lawsuit. Instead, she spends months going over footage of Mecha Maid in action, copying her power armor, breaks into his lab, brutalizes nurses, and effectively throws the man himself out a window, over three stories up. Further, when she sees Spinnerette coming back after presumably failing to evacuate Dr. Singh, she immediately intends to snap Mecha Maid's neck like a chicken bone. Fortunately, Spinnerrette had a plan to talk her down.
- Oh Crap!: When she realizes that Mecha Maid and Spinerette were holding back because unlike herself, they were actually concerned about the fate of innocents. Especially as she sees a missile heading towards her face.
- Pay Evil unto Evil: What she believes she's doing, having convinced herself that Singh is responsible for her ALS and intends to infect countless innocents with it.
- Powered Armor: Her Nemesis Suit, which was constructed using Mecha Maid's suit as a basis but improves upon its specs.
- Rationalizing the Overkill: When Mecha Maid points out that killing Singh effectively means murdering every person with ALS (both ethically and legally), including herself, Adrastea sneers that only a fool would have believed the cure would have worked, and that at least she'll die with her eyes open to the truth.
- Recognition Failure: She's insulted that Dr. Singh didn't immediately recognize her... when she's in a gaudy red and black power armor, wearing a mask and speaking with a synthesized voice.
- Red and Black and Evil All Over: Her powered armor is black and red, with a faceplate painted to look like a fanged skull. Even her speech bubbles are black with red text.
- Revenge: What her motive truly is, despite believing it's For Justice.
- Revenge Before Reason: Despite having no evidence whatsoever that Dr. Singh's stem-cell research is responsible for her condition, she insists that her condition itself is the evidence, and is trying to smash Dr. Singh's research, and Dr. Singh himself, in revenge.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: She's destroying Dr. Singh's research in order to get revenge on him for supposedly poisoning her, and even named herself after an epithet of Nemesis, the Greek goddess of vengeance.
- That Man Is Dead: She tells Dr. Singh that he "killed Jennifer Troy."
- Ungrateful Bastard: Rather than being grateful that she temporarily regained the ability to walk, thanks to Dr. Singh's work, she's very quick to blame him when things go wrong, and does her best to utterly ruin the lives of his other patients by destroying the stem cells that may well mean the difference between life and death for them. She even told a paraplegic Marylin to "run" as she was viciously brutalizing a nurse.
- Vengeance Feels Empty: Spinnerette tries to get her to come to this realization, asking her if she has anything left to live for now that her revenge is complete. Adrastea merely calls off attempt to kill Mecha Maid, acknowledges she has no reason to fight her or Spinnerette, and prepares to leave. Until she looks out the window to find Dr. Singh's body missing.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: She's convinced that Dr. Singh and his "poisoned" stem cells are responsible for her ALS and is trying to destroy his research both out of a desire for personal revenge and to prevent others from suffering like she has. When she's told that murdering Dr. Singh means killing his patients too, she pats herself on the back for it by saying that at least they won't die with false hope.
Heather's well-endowed roommate and confidante at school. Sews outfits for Heather and generally puts up with her antics while she stumbles around trying to get the hang of her powers. Also leans on the fourth wall on occasion by pointing out how impossible some of the spider powers are. Of Indian descent (she wears a bindi on her forehead).
- Buxom Is Better: She invokes this with her "pert pair of double-D's".
- The Call Knows Where You Live: A burning bus full of children crashes outside her home. She saves them and insists to the ambulance crew and firemen that she's not a superhero. Enter Fireblade.
- Closed Door Rapport: Has one with Buzz in order to prevent him from finding out she has powers.
- Cry into Chest: After the firemen return to save her from Fireblade.
- A God I Am Not: While saving the bus of children, an Indian girl begins to ask if she's a Hindu deity, because of her many arms and great strength. Sahira picks up on this and says otherwise.
- I Have Boobs, You Must Obey!: Attempted against Buzz, but it wasn't necessary. It still merited a Wonder Twins shout out.
- I Just Want to Be Normal: In the book-only Chapter 5, it turns out she has a superpower after all...and she doesn't want it. She later comes to embrace her powers, as it makes doing chores easier.
- I'm Not a Hero, I'm...: Even after, and while, saving a bunch of children from a burning bus, going into the burning bus to get the driver out, and trying to stall Fireblade until a superhero could show up, she repeatedly insists that she is not a hero.
- Mundane Utility: Copies Heather's powers to make housework easier and uses her own silk for knitting.
- Oh Crap!: Her reaction to Fireblade.Sahira: I'm worried now.
- Only Sane Woman: Frequently acts as the voice of reason to try to keep Heather grounded, though this sometimes makes her Wrong Genre Savvy, herself.
- Out of Focus: She used to effectively be the Deuteragonist of the series, but as Heather's superhero career has grown, she's been seeing significantly less page time. She still gets the occasional Day In The Limelight.
- Power Parasite: She can temporarily copy other superpowers. She can also stack them.
- Something Only They Would Say: She tells Buzz that she saw what happened with Fireblade's attack. She also mentions his motives, something she could've only known if she were close enough to speak with him.
The main researcher at the lab where Heather works. He worked with Dr. Universe on the construction of the Genetic Infusion Chamber.
- Bad Boss: Often leaves Heather to work alone in the lab, insisting that she stay up all night if she has to. He even has an "In Case of Heather, Break Glass" button for some reason, in spite of her being his only assistant and in spite of the above.
- Dirty Coward: When his life is threatened by Colonel Glass, his first and only concern is himself, to the point that he delivers what is basically a superweapon to Glass on a silver platter. Mecha Maid, Spinnerette, and Buzz all call him out on this in rapid succession.
- Jerkass: Blames Heather for anything that goes wrong in the lab.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: POSSIBLY. If he was telling the truth, he really DOES want to use the Genetic Infusor for good purposes, and wasn't even trying to make a profit... Except that Tiger caught him driving a car way, way, way beyond anything he can afford with his university paycheck, and notes, in an "off the record" discussion that there are numerous "anomalies" in his bank account.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Glass threatening his life reveals him to be a selfish coward at heart.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Is very temperamental.
- Hollywood Science: He angrily lampshades how Patti, and the media in general, understand nothing about genetics when she makes a remark about how his research into spider mutations could help find a cure for fatness.
- Irony: Despite being a student of Doctor Universe, his Jerk with a Heart of Gold entry would make him an Altruist, or at least make it close enough so he could pretend to be one.
- Never My Fault: When Spinnerette and Buzz chew him out for hiding another Cherenkov reactor in the campus, making it a target for Glass thus endangering everyone, he claims he had no choice since Doctor Universe made him do it. Buzz points out that he could have at least told the authorities.
- Tempting Fate: He doesn't even get to finish saying "At least things can't get any worse." before Colonel Glass shows up.
Buzz RickardsA security guard at the university. Currently dating Sahira.
- Anti-Hero: Of the Pragmatic Hero variety. He's a nice man and all, but between being willing to leave Lambha to be tortured to death by Glass and later blowing the latter's face apart halfway through his Famous Last Words, he's not exactly a straightforward hero.
- Awesome McCool Name: Quoth Sahira: "That doesn't sound like the name of a guy who plays by the rules!"
- Badass Normal: As attested, with these words no less, by Heather herself.
- The Cape: He wants to be a cop, not because of better pay or anything like that, but because he wants to do more to "protect what we have" than round up drunken college students.
- Dark-Skinned Blond: He's got blonde hair and is Ambiguously Brown.
- Fair Cop: Technically he's only a security guard, but that's just because Columbus' Finest aren't hiring at the moment.
- Multicolored Hair: Light in the front, dark in the back.
- Off Model: Buzz's second appearance has his skin and hair colors swapped.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Despite seeing through Sahira's ploy, he deletes the security footage of Heather using her spider powers and eventually starts dating Sahira.
- Understanding Boyfriend: It's very heavily implied that he knows Sahira's secret and is willing to just stay outside and simply listen to what she has to say about Fireblade's attack.
DarienThe cute guy next door. Both he and Heather have a mutual interest in each other... but things just keep getting in the way. She dates him once, but then ditches him for Marilyn.
- Dogged Nice Guy: He seems genuinely interested in Heather, but can't ever score a date with her thanks to her superhero career. When he finally does, she leaves early to sort out her feelings with Marylin once and for all.
- Long-Haired Pretty Boy: He has fairly long hair and is rather handsome.
- Love Interest: Heather would like to think that he is, anyway. She even states that he's the Mary-Jane Watson to her Peter Parker. It's ultimately averted when she dumps him for Marilyn.
Patti WintersA local reporter for Channel 4 who seems to focus on following superhero related stories. Also the host of her own morning talk show.
- Chekhov's News: When interviewing Dr. Lambha she notes that the pool for the Genetic Infusion Chamber is large enough for a person and asks if it could be used to give a person super powers. No guesses for where Heather gets her powers.
- Coincidental Broadcast: While Sahira is flipping through channels, and arguing with Heather, she comes across a perfectly timed report from Patti.Patti: Dr. Universe and Greta Gravity have returned to the Ohio Research University campus, demanding to speak with Spinnerette.
- Going for the Big Scoop: She tends to show up where super villains do, sometimes before them, sometimes after to either interview them directly or report from a distance.
- Hot Scoop: Always seems to be on-scene whenever something big goes down.
- Intrepid Reporter: She has quite the habit of getting involved with Dr. Universe and Greta Gravity. Of course, she was there for their Start of Darkness so it's likely that helps to keep her safe.
- Nonindicative Name: Patti Winters in a superhero comic? Clearly she's going to have ice powers. Nope, just a normal reporter.
- Shout-Out: Both her name and the fact that she runs a talk-show, to "The Patty Winters Show" from American Psycho.
- Talk Show: In addition to being a reporter, she also hosts "Wakeup! with Patti Winters".
Park SeongMarilyn's adopted father, who works for DARPA.
- Dad the Veteran: Worked for the South Korean military during the 1980's.
- Gadgeteer Genius: He works for DARPA developing powered armor and weapons, and helped create the Powered Armor, missiles, and jetpack Marilyn uses.
- Open-Minded Parent: Is aware that his daughter is a super-heroine and in a romantic relationship with another woman, and is perfectly OK with it.
- Secret Secret-Keeper: Marilyn's told him Spinnerettte's civilian ID, but Heather doesn't know he knows.
- The Short Guy with Glasses: Is relatively short, wears glasses, and is incredibly intelligent.
- Perma-Stubble: Has five o'clock shadow in his concept art and his first appearance. He even had it in 1985.
- Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: The Tiny Guy to White Heron's Huge Girl.
Park the ButlerMecha Maid's faithful butler. The Alfred to her Batman.
- Badass Normal: He is, if well trained, completely human without any powers. He still attacks Colonel Glass despite knowing for a fact that he's severely outclassed, without hesitation, with nothing more than a pair of tonfa.
- Battle Butler: Used to work under White Heron in the South Korean military, and currently helps look after Marilyn.
- Eyepatch of Power: Wears one after getting one of his eyes destroyed by Col. Glass.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Glass stabs Park when he makes the mistake of taking his attention off him.
- Secret Secret-Keeper: Marilyn's told him Spinnerettte's civilian ID, but Heather doesn't know he knows.
- Apologetic Attacker: "Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry!" she says... while utterly trashing Minerva.
- Badass Bystander: When attacked by Minerva she panics and unintentionally thrashes her.
- Canon Welding: She is the same character from Krow's earlier webcomic Krakow. Her sisters later show up in a bonus chapter.
- Defeat Means Friendship: She utterly trashed Minerva in self defence when they first met each other, but Minerva later reveals they're besties.
- Fanservice Pack: She's certainly older and more... developed than in Krakow.
- Gamer Chick: Artwork on Krow's Facebook page shows her playing on a Nintendo DS-type handheld console.
- Multi-Armed and Dangerous: Has six arms.
- Plucky Office Girl: Works as a secretary in the Underworld Department of Labor.
- She Is All Grown Up: And it looks like her horns are indeed longer than her sister's.
- Snake People: She is a Class V demon, or to use the older/newer D&D terminology, a Marilith.
- Tail Slap: When Minerva tries to kill her, Guinness immediately begins lobbing office supplies at her assailant and lashing out with her tail.
- Berserk Button: Don't criticize his smithing skills.
- The Blacksmith: Is shown forging a BFS for Minerva to wield.
- Boring but Practical: Teenage Minerva was pretty disappointed with the sword he made for her because it was made of steel instead of something exotic like dragon bone.
- Canon Welding: Like Guinness, he's from Krow's earlier webcomic Krakow.
- Older Than They Look: While Guinness has aged up from a young teen to an adult, Tom looks more or less the same as he did when he left the world of the living. Possibly justified due to the passage of time in the underworld being extremely convoluted.
Dr. SinghA Sikh doctor working to cure ALS using bone marrow stem cells.
- Batman Grabs a Gun: Dr. Singh has dedicated his life to treating people with neurological trauma. He winds up being forced to use his Cricket bat on one, in self-defense for himself and his two assistants.
- Chekhov's Gun: That cricket bat in his office sure comes in handy when Adastrea shoots her way into his locked office.
- Disney Death: Seemingly plummets to his death when Adrastea severs Spinnerette's escape-line. Fortunately, Spinny thought ahead and set up a web beneath it to catch him. She still reacts as if he really did die to distract Adrastea.
- Failed a Spot Check: When Adrastea damages the coolant tanks, Dr. Singh rushes into the room and doesn't even notice her at first.
- Find the Cure: He's trying to develop a cure for ALS using stem cell therapy.
Cerberus and guardian of Hell whose job is to capture wayward evil spirits and bring them back. She was eventually fired from her job and joined the Legion of Canadian Superheroes.
- A Tragedy of Impulsiveness: Due to misinterpreting her father's Secret Test of Character, as a teenager Minerva tried to kill his secretary Guinness, who kicked her butt to the curb without even trying.
- Blood Knight: The right head is the most aggressive.
- Boobs of Steel: Has one of the largest chests of anyone in the cast, and is physically the strongest. As a child... not so much.
- Chainmail Bikini: It looks more like it's there for support instead of protection and it barely does that.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: Attacks Katt while under the influence of Captain Alberta's rage toxins, accusing her of trying to steal London.
- Cloudcuckoolander: The left head is a cheerful child with a poor attention span. She has been compared to Pinkie Pie, both in the comments and in-universe.
- Cute Monster Girl: For a three-headed monster wolf, she's very cute.
- Entertainingly Wrong: As a teenager she made an unprovoked attempt to murder a completely innocent Guinness, assuming that she was her next target.
- Freudian Trio: Within one body. Her right head is aggressive, her middle head is calm and stern, and her left head is cheerful.
- Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: She exploits this by making out with herself on multiple occasions.
- Hell Hound: She's a Cerberus from the Underworld.
- Leeroy Jenkins: As a teenager, Minerva tried to murder Guinness after misinterpreting her father's statement of the "one final monster" she was to defeat. She spotted Guinness' reflection in a conspicuously-placed mirror, when it was supposed to mean her own aggressiveness.
- Magic Knight: As she puts it, she's "swords and sorcery all in one."
- Multiple Head Case: She has three heads that work independently of each other, but are attached to the same body.
- Our Werewolves Are Different: Contracts lycanthropy from London, enabling her to transform into a three-headed human.
- Proud Warrior Race Guy: She describes Cerberuses as being trained to be warriors from childhood.
- Petting Zoo People: She is an anthropomorphic Cerberus.
- Tsundere: Comes naturally as a result of her heads' different mindsets, though it's especially evident with her more temperamental right head.
Mr. CanusMinerva's father.
- Freudian Trio: Within one body. His right head is stern, his middle head is calm, and his left head is cheerful.
- Hell Hound: Is a Cerberus from Hell.
- Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: He towered over Teen Minerva.
- Multiple Head Case: Has three heads, and his personalities are even divided the same as Minerva's.
- Petting Zoo People: He's an antromorphic Cerberus.
- Secret Test of Character: Minerva's "one final monster to defeat" was her own aggressiveness... but she happened to catch sight of Guinness' reflection in the strategically placed mirror and assumed it was her.
Super MILF/Dr. Laura MacKenzie
A scientist whose body was infused by an alien artefact retrieved from Venus, causing her breasts to grow to a ridiculous size and produce intense heat. She took up the alias Ms. Venus but got shut down by DC's lawyers due to her costume looking too much like Power Girl. She had several children and came back Hotter and Sexier as Super MILF.
- Action Mom: Between her stints as Ms.Venus and Super MILF she gave birth a few times.
- Big Breast Pride: Despite rationalizing her cleavage-revealing outfits as a way to ventilate the heat her breasts emit, she still comes off as remarkably boastful about her bust. She even tells Mecha Maid and Spinnerette to emulate her and "embrace their femininity" via a Cleavage Window.
- Breast Expansion: Courtesy of being engulfed in the explosion of a powerful reactor from Venus.
- Cleavage Window: Her first outfit had one of these, allegedly because her super-boobs need air-cooling. As mentioned, she was forced to retire it thanks the threat of a lawsuit by DC Comics.
- Fetish Fuel: She invokes this in an interview, claiming that this is the reason 80% of supers are in the business, herself included.
- Gag Boobs: Her absurdly enormous breasts are the subject of a number of jokes.
- Impossibly-Low Neckline: To the point where one suspects that the lack of wardrobe malfunctions can only be attributed to one of her actual superpowers.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: A Smug Super, but still a genuine superhero who protects Columbus during Tiger's 10-Minute Retirement and Mecha Maid and Spinnerette's visit with the Canadians.
- Most Common Super Power: Has the largest bust size in the comic, according to Word of God. It manages to be a parody of MCSP while appearing in a webcomic that is at times a joyous celebration of MCSP.London: (staggering away limp-legged) It's like looking into the sun!
- Ms. Fanservice: She knows she's sexy and blatantly flaunts what she's got, often to the embarrassment of everyone around her.
- Naked Apron: In the High School A.U. reality presented in Issue 19, she cooks breakfast wearing nothing but an apron, much to Spinnerette's outward chagrin (and hidden delight).
- Origins Issue: The beginning of Issue 13 is this for her.
- Significant Green-Eyed Redhead: She has red hair and green eyes, and seems to be Ben's Number Two in the ASA.
- Smug Super: Goes out of her way to make Patti uncomfortable during an interview and later on melts Dr. Universe and Greta Gravity's ice creams just because.
- Straw Feminist: She is accused of being one by Mecha Maid.
- Super Dickery: When she comes across Dr. Universe and Greta Gravity purchasing ice cream, she deliberately melts it when Dr. Universe points out she can't pick a fight with them since they're not committing a crime.
- Super Sex Organs: Her powers come from her "Venusian Bosom". Her Impossibly-Low Neckline is stated to be ventilation since they generate heat.
an incident where he saved Hitler's life, a convenient time traveler dropped him off in 2002 to prevent the Subprime Mortgage Crisis. He failed, but makes up for it via superheroics in other areas.
- Badass Bookworm: He invented time travel from a musical instrument, then he beat up eveyone in a Bad-Guy Bar while naked.
- Big Good: He is The Leader of the American Superheroes Association which acts as an umbrella of sorts for all the superhero teams in America.
- Compound Interest Time Travel Gambit: How he initially funded the ASA, though now they get most of their cash from merchandizing. It's Truth in Television, minus the time travel and the ASA. He bequeathed £1,000 each to the two most important cities in his life (Boston, where was born and raised, and Philadelphia, the adopted hometown where he made his name), each fund to be partially opened in 100 years and completely opened in 200; the Boston fund, when opened was enough to establish a large trade school after the first 100 years; the Philadelphia fund was used to fund scholarships to local high school students at maturity in the 1990s.
- Cool Old Guy: It's Benjamin Franklin, the lady's man, famous inventor, and witty humorist. In this verse, he's also a superhero!
- Dirty Old Man: Of course. He was leering down a woman's cleavage when he was sent through time.
- Full-Frontal Assault: A little nudity didn't stop him from engaging in Good Old Fisticuffs when he first became time-displaced.
- Historical-Domain Character: America's Founding Father is now in Columbus, Ohio in the 21st century
- Language Barrier: When he time traveled to Germany, he couldn't understand what Hitler was saying. Oddly enough, the real Benjamin Franklin did speak German.
- Merchandise-Driven: He traveled to Columbus Ohio to ask Spinnerette to join the ASA so he could sell Spinnerette themed merchandise. Mecha Maid asked to keep the action figure he brought along.
- Super Luck: As long as the timeline he's in depends on him surviving to invent time travel, anything in that timeline that tries to hurt him will luckily miss, and any attack of his will be a lucky perfect shot.
White Heron/Kim JeongA Korean superheroine who fought Colonel Glass in 1985.
- Animal-Themed Superbeing: A white heron.
- Badass Cape: Wears a red one with a high collar.
- Captain Geographic: Her chest insignia incorporates the South Korean flag.
- Character Death: She was killed by Colonel Glass, crippling South Korea's military to such a point that North Korea was able to gain a permanent advantage and become the Communist strongman that it is today.
- Dad the Veteran: Is a former member of the North Korean military, and at the very least collaborated with the South Korean army.
- Death by Origin Story: Was killed as part of Mecha Maid's origin story.
- Death-or-Glory Attack: Her chrono field allows her to move at super speed and hit like a truck, but after she uses it, she will become frozen in time until reality can catch up with her, which can potentially take weeks.
- Defector from Decadence: She defected from North Korea to South Korea.
- Form-Fitting Wardrobe: Her costume is very form-fitting.
- Go Out with a Smile: Died with a relieved smile at having saved the baby.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Died saving baby Marilyn from Colonel Glass.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Was stabbed in the back by Glass's Flechette Storm while trying to save baby Marilyn.
- Kid Hero: She defected from the North Korean military when she was at most 16, and died when she was around 19. In between, she worked as an agent of the South Korean military.
- Legacy Character: Was succeeded by New White Heron following her death at Glass' hands.
- Posthumous Character: She was killed decades before the comic started.
- Supernatural Martial Arts: Could launch energy blasts from her hands, and was proficient in taekwondo.
- Super Soldier: She was a soldier with superpowers, presumably as a result of the same program that produced Colonel Glass and Mecha Maid.
- Super Speed: She was capable of running at at least 80 kilometres per hour.
- Super Strength: Technically a side effect of her super speed. Punching something at 80 km/h causes a lot more damage than a normal punch.
- Time Master: Her super speed and strength come from her ability to create a chrono field that speeds up time only for herself (though from her perspective, it's everything else that has slowed down). This unfortunately comes with a pretty severe penalty, detailed above.
- Woman in White: Her costume is white with red gloves, boots, and a cape.
Silver Age Spinnerette
Silver Age SpinneretteAn alternate universe version of our Spinnerette.
- Alternate Self: Unlike Schoolgirl Spinnerette, this one is actually a Spinnerette from another universe.
- Ambiguously Gay: Averted with her, but deliberately enforced in her comic. Silver Age Heather admits to being romantically involved with her universe's Marilyn, but they can't be too blatant about it lest they violate the Comics Code. In her own comic, she gropes Silver Age Mecha Maid's butt by accident and is playfully scolded for pushing the Comics Code Authority's buttons. A piece of artwork showing them playing softball labels them "the gayest of friends".
- Cloudcuckoolander: She wanted to play softball, so she tried to join the army during the Vietnam War. She was too short to join the army, so stormed out of the nurse's office with her shirt undone and immediately signed up to become a super-soldier.
- Deliberate Values Dissonance: She happily tells Sahira that having six arms would make her an excellent housewife, and smokes on a plane along with Dark Age Spinnerette.
- Future Me Scares Me: A minor case where she starts to wonder if 90s Spinnerette was actually a villain. Spinny 2010 assures her that it was just how the 90's were, which doesn't reassure her.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Not really, but she wrongly concludes that Mainstream Spinnerette must be her future daughter once she realizes she's in The New '10s.
- Medium Awareness: Upon seeing Mainstream Spinnerette, Silver Age Spinny complains that she already had to fight dopplegangers from Pluto three issues ago.
- Naïve Newcomer: She is horrified at the state of affairs in the 21st century after being searched at airport security.
- Organ Autonomy: Just like Mainstream Spinnerette, Silver Age Spinny's bottom left hand has a mind of its own and likes the feel of Silver Age Mecha Maid's backside.
- Patriotic Fervor: She was extremely enthusiastic about joining the US Women's Army Corps (to play softball) and derides Sahira as a hippie for thinking it's a bad idea.
- Pint-Sized Powerhouse: She's 4'11", half a head shorter than Heather, who is only 5'1" herself.
- Purple Is the New Black: Her costume is dark blue rather than black.
- Rose-Haired Sweetie: She's got strawberry-blonde hair that looks pink, and is cheerful, coming from a Silver Age universe. She's could also be considered something of a romantic, given that the one of the first things she does after getting her powers is tell Sahira that having six arms would make her a great housewife.
- Skewed Priorities: She wanted to join the US Women's Army Corps simply to play softball. And when she grows six arms, she reacts with anger...because she's still too short to join the army and play softball.
- Smoking Is Cool: To Modern Age Spinnerette's horror, she happily accepts Dark Age Spinnerette's offer of cigarettes, though when berated for smoking at all she claims she only smokes low-tar. The way she says she's come a long way - aside from being a shout-out to old cigarette commercials - implies she's been trying to give them up.
- Super Soldier: She got her powers from a super-solder serum developed by Dr. Universe. While Silver Age General Evescroth muses this would make her an asset to the war effort, he still turns her down since she's too short.
90's SpinneretteAnother alternate universe version of our Spinnerette.
- Alternate Self: Another Spinnerette from an alternate universe, just like Silver Age Spinny, this one is from The Dark Age of Comic Books.
- Amazonian Beauty: She towers over alternate selves.
- BFG: She mentions she has a gatling laser.
- BFS: Her pouchsword is an enormous sword with a scabbard covered in pouches. She has yet to unsheathe it, instead using it as a bludgeon. Or its blade is pouches. It's unclear which.
- Blood Knight: The only way 2010 Spinnerette is able to convince her to give up her sword is by getting her excited about slaughtering "ricola-munchers bare-handed".
- Improbable Weapon User: Her pouchsword, which is a BFS that has a scabbard made of pouches.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Makes the exact same mistake as her Silver Age counterpart when she assumes 2010 Spinnerette is her future daughter.
- Medium Awareness: Proposed to the other Spinny's that they might be characters in a comic book, and later, when facing off against her own Evil Spinnerette, she comments that this would be the second time to 'kick your ass twice in one issue'. ES reacted as if this is a common thing for her.
- Most Common Superpower: One of the first things Modern Age Spinny notices about her is her large bust size.
- '90s Anti-Hero: She has a Liefeldian body structure, aggressive personality, skimpy costume, and gratuitous amount of pouches, including a sword covered with them. So much so, that Silver Age starts to wonder if she was really a villain. In general, she's a parody of The Dark Age of Comic Books.
- Not So Above It All: Despite all her grim 90's Anti-Hero persona, she is a Star Trek fan.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: She's rude and vulgar, particularly towards Swiss people.
- Slasher Smile: Flashes one when she boasts about how strong she is.
- Smoking Is Cool: She knows about the health risks and doesn't care. Cigarettes are just another thing that make her edgy.
- Statuesque Stunner: Bizarre body shape aside, she's quite pretty and towers over the other two Spinnies.
- Stripperific: Her costumes has Absolute Cleavage and a thong.
Golden Age Spinnerette
Golden Age SpinneretteThe oldest variant of Spinnerette from an alternate universe, both by timeline and age.
- Alternate Self: She is the original incarnation of Spinnerette.
- Saying Too Much: Mechanized Maiden scolds her for revealing that she will help Modern Age Spinnerette and Silver Age Spinnerette in their fight against the Editor - something that happened decades ago for her but is in their future.
- Retired Badass: She became a superhero in 1942 and retired in 2000 to become a university professor. Modern Age Spinnerette and Silver Age Spinnerette meet her in 2010.
- Wham Line: Golden Age Spinnerette drops a doozy when Silver Age Spinnerette asks how they can stop the Editor from rebooting the Metaverse: That the Editor isn't actually a villain, and isn't trying to reboot the universe so much as create a new one.
Golden Age Mechanized Maiden
Golden Age Mechanized MaidenThe oldest version of Mecha Maid from an alternate universe.
- Alternate Self: She is the original incarnation of Mecha Maid, and is called Mechanized Maiden.
- Powered Armor: She has a suit of powered armor, and like Silver Age Mecha Maid's, hers used transistors.
- Retired Badass: She became a superhero in 1941 and retired in 2000 to work on prosthetics research. Modern Age Spinnerette and Silver Age Spinnerette meet her in 2010.
KugelblitzAn elderly Nazi plotting to resurrect Adolf Hitler by infusing a clone with his soul.
- Apocalypse Hitler: His Evil Plan was to resurrect Hitler by cloning him and then summoning the original's soul to possess the clone.
- Badass Grandpa: He's a geriatric Nazi who looks like he's over 100, but he can still put up a fight.
- Badass Mustache: Exactly like Hitler's.
- Bad Boss: Didn't show any compunctions to burning his henchman, Maus, to death along with his enemies.
- Berserk Button: Anything having to do with Jewish people.
- Ghostapo: The "last of the Third Reich's Sorcery Batallion" and a practitioner of "Germanic wizardry".
- Mad Scientist: Has enough knowledge of cloning to know that simply creating a genetic duplicate of a person doesn't mean creating a copy of them.
- Meaningful Name:
- His name means "Ball Lightning" in German, and in astrophysics refers to a black hole formed of energy rather than mass.
- The Flakpanzer IV Kugelblitz was an experimental self-propelled anti-aircraft gun (essentially a tank) that utilized a twin-mounted version of the MK 103 cannon - but of the five made only one was used.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: He's a Nazi and thus hates Jewish people.
- Shock and Awe: As per his name, he uses lightning magic.
- Those Wacky Nazis: Is a survivor of the Third Reich, but a relatively minor villain.
MausA tall and heavily muscled Nazi Super Soldier who acts as Kugelblitz's dragon.
- All Germans Are Nazis: Makes this assumption about Greta.
- The Brute: Tall, muscular, and not the brains of the outfit.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Gets taken down in one hit by Mecha Maid.
- The Dragon: To Kugelblitz; his second in command.
- Meaningful Name:
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Like Kugelblitz he's a Nazi and hates Jews.
- Ship Tease: Briefly flirts with Greta.
- Stupid Jetpack Hitler: He's a Nazi Super Soldier.
- Super Soldier: According to Kugelblitz, and it accounts for his Super Strength.
- Those Wacky Nazis: While it's unknown if he's been around as long as Kugelblitz, he's got balls to be wearing an SS uniform in broad daylight in the 21st century USA.
Roberta LeeThe great-great-great-great-granddaughter of Robert E. Lee. She plans to clone him and raise the clone to lead the Confederates anew.
- Artistic License – History: Has several misconceptions about her ancestor's role (and the fact that he had a Fair for Its Day view of slavery) in the Civil War. She admits to not knowing the history, and claims that as a whole that's true for American racists so the plan to clone him would've worked for that reason.
- Badass Longcoat: She wears a trench coat along with her hat.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Gets KO'd in one (technically two) hit by Spinnerette.
- Dark Action Girl: Is pretty handy with her sword.
- Escape Artist: Her magic enables her to open any lock.
- Hollywood Voodoo: She uses Hollywood-esque voodoo magic to fight.
- Hypocrite: She's a neo-Confederate who practices Hollywood Voodoo.
- Nice Hat: A borad-brimmed hat with a feather to be precise.
- Necromancer: She can summon zombies, but she wants to clone her ancestor because any zombie she made would be stupid.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: She's a neo-Confederate who wants to bring back her ancestor and presumably reinstate slavery.
FirebladeAn aspiring supervillain that attacks a bus full of kids.
- Cool Shades: He has a pair of admittedly badass-looking sunglasses.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: After realizing that Sahira meant it when she said she wasn't a hero, the firemen return and deliver one to him. Specifically they hose him down and then smash his face in with a fire extinguisher.
- Diabolus ex Nihilo: He's just starting out and tried to make his first kill a group of children on a bus. Since Sahira saved them, and as far as he can tell she's a superhero, he really wants to have her become his first kill.
- Flight: He can fly, specifically by creating a board made of flames and standing on it.
- Good Smoking, Evil Smoking: Displays his lackadaisical attitude by calmly lighting a cigarette right after he nearly kills a bus full of children.
- It Is Beyond Saving: His reason for trying to kill children is that he thinks they're stealing from everyone through food stamps and section 8 housing.
- Non-Indicative Name: Though he's got fire down, he has yet to use a blade of any kind thus far.
- Oh Crap!: Doesn't say anything, but he gets the expression for it before having his face smashed in.
- Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: He tried anyway.Fireblade: I'm Fireblade. You're going to be my first kill.
- Playing with Fire: He can create and throw fireballs, and can fly as well.
- Pyromaniac: Fitting given his abilities.
- Retcon: A subtle one that was missed for a few days. His name was Flameblade for about an hour or so before it was changed to Fireblade. And were it not for a couple of comments posted on the strip in that time mentioning the original name, and a few times on the next strip's comments, this likely would've gone unnoticed.
- Strawman Political: Sort of. While Dr. Universe tries his best to be a true Objectivist (and arguably a better one than Ayn Rand ever could have been), Fireblade is essentially a psychopath who justifies his hate for others based on right-wing libertarianism. Such people do exist, plentifully, in real life (at least one existed, unnamed to history, in Rand's circle) but the vast majority of them aren't about to actually go out and kill someone over it.
- Then again, unlike Fireblade, none of them have the power with which to do so...
- Too Dumb to Live: Averted. He was winding up to throw some fire at the firemen, only to have them throw a fire extinguisher at him. Instead of risking it exploding in his face, he let it hit him and got his face smashed in, knocking him out cold.
- Would Hurt a Child: En masse. He lit a school bus full of children on fire.
Delta Wave/JustinA young man with dream altering powers.
- Battle Harem: Once Spinny realizes they're in a dream, Delta has Evil Spinnerette, Kat and the rest attack Spinny.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Downplayed. While the overly polite, shy Nice Guy behavior he exudes is just a front, he's not particularly evil, he just got carried away.
- Black and Nerdy: Has a Geek Physique, Nerd Glasses, and an unhealthy obsession with anime and superhero girls. Though it's been pointed out in-universe that he doesn't seem particularly smart.
- Compelling Voice: Uses this to control weaker minds trapped by his dream powers.
- Dream Weaver: His superpower is to control dreams. With it, he traps and brainwashes the cast into believing they're characters in a cliche-riddled harem anime world. When they realize what's really going on, he drops the whole act and starts showing his full mastery over the dream reality.
- Easily Forgiven: Downplayed - although Spinnerette does let him off with nothing but a couple of slaps to the face and an order to get a girlfriend, he did technically save her life and didn't cause her any lasting harm with his dream shenanigans.
- New Transfer Student: He's introduced playing this role.
- Not Evil, Just Misunderstood: He invokes this when Spinnerette calls him a super villain and starts pummelling him.Justin: I'm not a supervillain, I'm just misguided.
- Obliviously Evil: He's not intentionally malicious, but he really doesn't seem to be aware that there's something very disturbing about taking an unconscious girl home instead of to the hospital and using her to live out his sexual fantasies via her dreams.
- Occidental Otaku: He's apparently a huge fan of harem anime cliches.
- Scary Black Man: Played with. He poses as a fairly wimpy kid in dreams, but can come across as menacing once he breaks out the Compelling Voice. In the real world, he really is a completely powerless wimp.
- Trope Overdosed: Delta seems to have been aiming to experience every harem anime cliche in existence, and then some.
- You Need to Get Laid: Spinnerette tells him this after she escapes from the dream world.
- Yuri Fan: Deconstructed, as Spinnerette, an actual lesbian/bisexual, is clearly not amused that he would consider her sexual preferences to be entertainment.
Silver Age Evil Spinnerette
Silver Age Evil SpinneretteAn alternate universe version of Evil Spinnerette. She wears gold-lamé.
- Alternate Self: She's the Silver Age counterpart of Alexis Woodrow, but has a purple-and-green abdomen and wears a gold lamé costume.
- Cult: She claims to the leader of The Sorcerer's Ring,note a group of wizards from the coast.
- Psycho for Hire: She's an assassin, and was hired to kill Spinnerette's loved ones.
- Religion of Evil: Like her mainstream counterpart she is a follower of Lolth... which raises a few questions since the first edition of D&D was published in 1974, whereas "Silver Age Spinnerette" takes place in 1973.
90's Evil Spinnerette
90s Evil SpinneretteAnother alternate universe version of Evil Spinnerette.
Sheila and SheilaAustralian twin sisters, both named Sheila.
- Artistic License – Biology: They apparently take inspiration from Noah's Ark since they only release two of each species under the impression that will be enough to result in a stable population and destroy America's ecological balance.
- Artistic License – History: They claim America introduced the cane toad to Australia. It was actually the Australian government - specifically the Bureau of Sugar Experiment Stations - that introduced the cane toads from Hawaii in an effort to get rid of a native Australian species, the cane beetle.
- A Taste of Their Own Medicine: They plan to introduce native Australian animals to America's ecosystem, where they have no natural predators and will quickly flood the land. They claim this is payback for America doing the same thing to Australia with cane toads, which if you look at Artistic License – History above, is way off the mark.
- Battle Boomerang: They wield boomerangs (labelled "KARMA") that hit hard enough to injure Mecha Maid through her armor.
- Identical Twin ID Tag: One of them wears a blue ribbon in her hair, the other wears a red ribbon.
- Land Down Under: They're Australian ecoterrorists who think a very small sample of their fauna is capable of annihilating the North American midwest's ecological stability.
- Musical Assassin: The blue-ribboned Sheila wields a didgeridoo capable of creating sonic waves loud enough to break glass. Unfortunately for her, Mecha Maid has a bit of a problem when it comes to glass shards...
- Nice Hats: Slouch hats with the side brim pinned to the crown, decorated with crocodile teeth, of course. How else would you know they're Australian?
- No Ontological Inertia: If anything happens to incapacitate Bruce, they revert to human form.
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: When introduced, they were a couple of moronic Australian ecoterrorists who were defeated with relative ease. After they transform, they pitch Spinnerette over the horizon and beat Mecha Maid up enough that she seriously considers using lethal force against them.
- Our Werewolves Are Different: You know that one quokka that Spinnerette and Mecha Maid couldn't find? His name is Bruce, and he can use his Psychic Powers to turn the Sheilas into ferocious were-quokkas.Blue-Ribboned Sheila: We'll tear Mecha Maid to bloody shreds!
- Right for the Wrong Reasons: Inverted. Releasing all those animals may not have been sufficient to cause an ecological apocalypse. Still unleashing a large number of wild animals near a highway could easily cause serious injury or death, not to mention massive property damage as drivers try to avoid them and crash.
- Stupid Crooks: Word of God is that they're not the smartest fish in the barrel, failing at ecology and history, and their plan to destabilize the ecology of the American Midwest is laughable. Fortunately for them, Spinnerette's not the smartest of heroes and panics at the idea of a couple of kangaroos having free reign of the place due to being much too fast for the local black bears to catch, let alone the "horrific damage" a breeding pair of koalas or quokkas could do. They become more competent (at fighting) once they transform.
- What the Hell, Hero?: The blue-ribboned Sheila triggers Marilyn's PTSD and was gunned down with rubber bullets. The red-ribboned Sheila initially thinks her sister's been killed and yells at Spinnerette.
Sarah Nicole Megan
Sarah Nicole Megan
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: While there are witnesses around, she acts like a good, wholesome woman who wouldn't harm a fly. When she's alone with her intended victim, she's cruel, vicious, and thinks little, if anything, about shooting a people to death if they oppose her. How much of this is due to her being drugged is up for debate as she has a history of bullying Heather whie pretending to be a sweet child long, long before anybody thought of "curing" her homosexuality.
- Boomerang Bigot: Sarah is quite against homosexuality despite being gay herself, and the drugs she happily distributes to everyone can turn gay people straight among other effects. She even continues to dose herself to keep herself straight. However, since the drugs do alter people's personalities to make them more "wholesome," it's not clear whether or not she was like this before the church gave her the drugs. Depends on if she willingly sought out a cure for being gay, or if it was forced on her.
- The Bully: Since they were children, Sarah went out of her way to harass Heather.
- Compelling Voice: By her own admission, she's put an even stronger version of the drugs she uses in her pies to make anyone who hears her voice do whatever she says, hoping that Mecha Maid has unknowingly consumed it.
- Cure Your Gays: As a Family Values Villain, one of the effects of her drugs is this. She experienced it first hand after the church used them on her.
- Delicious Fruit Pies: Makes them in her bakery, the Midwest Hostess. Thought they're part her plan since they're laced with mind-control drugs.
- Did Not See That Coming: Both Mecha Maid ignoring Spinnerette's surrender and being shoved off-stage by the little girl she grabbed the microphone from took her by complete surprise.
- Dirty Coward: Does everything through her mind control pies, letting others do the fighting for her. Once Spinnerette managed to subdue a brainwash Mecha Maid, she ran the first chance she got and tried to order the whole town to kill her.
- Drugs Are Bad: After her family discovered Sarah's dark secret, her priest dosed her with drugs to "keep [her] on the straight and narrow". As a result of this, Sarah got the idea to use the drugs to fight crime and keep Circleville perfect, while also keeping herself dosed up on them.
- Dude, She's Like, in a Coma!: She admits to drugging Spinnerette when the later was unconscious.
- Evil Gloating: After ordering Mecha Maid to win at all costs, she calls Spinnerette "Loserette" while demanding the latter's surrender. Seems she didn't lose her bully tendencies after all.
- Evil Is Petty: Using her mind-control drugs to regain her former crown as Circleville's 2004 Pumpkin Queen before putting her plan into action. Though once she's defeated, she's stripped of the title once more.
- Exact Words: Combined with Hoist by His Own Petard. Because she ordered Mecha Maid to "win at all costs," Mecha Maid does not recognize Spinnerette's surrender, and is prepared to fire missiles through Megan herself.
- Family Values Villain: She has a fixation with "keeping Circleville perfect". She also admonishes Spinnerette for her form-fitting costume because "there are children around!". Ironic, considering her past as Shameless Fanservice Girl. The drugs the church gave her seem to be the cause of her new set of morals, and now she is distributing them to others.
- Gone Horribly Right:
- A local priest interrogated, browbeat and drugged her into having a "family friendly" personality at the behest of her parents because they didn't approve of her being gay. The new personality turned out to be so militant that she decided to secretly drug everyone in town into becoming like her, and ended up killing the priest because he showed some scrap of a conscience and did not approve of her plans.
- She gets a taste of this herself when her mind-control works a little too well on Mecha Maid when she tells her to "win at any cost". Unforunately that means she won't stop till Spinnerette is dead, even if she surrenders, and has no qualms about putting Megan in the line of fire to achieve the command.
- Ultimately leads to her defeat, turns out it's not just tuned to her voice but anyone who can get their hand on a microphone. The little girl from earlier manages to break Megan's mind control by telling those affected that they're not being themselves.
- Hollywood Science: Despite not having a degree in chemistry or any kind of training in drug manufacture, she boasts of being able to enhance the drugs she's using in her pies (as well as dosing herself with) so that anyone who ingests them will very quickly come under the influence of her voice, and only her voice, so as to be unable to resist any command she gives. The fans, basically without exception, are all quick to point out how implausible that is.
- Hypocrite: Claims she wants to make Circleville a wholesome place for people through her mind-control. But is willing resort to murder the moment things don't go her way. Ironically she's beaten by a girl who embodies the true spirit of the town.
- Humiliation Conga: Nearly getting blasted to bits via an ill-worded command by Mecha Maid while under her control, shoved off the stage by a little girl and finding out she wasn't affected because she had diabetes showing that Megan really didn't think her plan through, had said plan foiled by said girl who undoes her brain-washing, is quickly arrested, and for a extra kick in the teeth, is stripped once again of her pumpkin queen title.
- I Did What I Had to Do: She says this word for word in regards to her new personality shooting her family priest to death when he disapproved of her "off label" use of his drugs.
- Incompatible Orientation: Sarah had a crush on Heather when they were in high-school, which manifested as aggressive flirtation and teasing. Heather, being Oblivious to Love and considering herself to be heterosexual, interpreted this as Sarah bullying and trying to outdo her.
- Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: While she may have been worthy of some sympathy due to being interrogated and browbeaten into taking the drugs that made her how she is, if not force-fed them, and her position has some merit, the fact that her "solution" for dealing with anyone that she can't drug into Blind Obedience is to have them killed has made her a Card-Carrying Villain.
- Knight Templar: Sarah is a Family Values Villain on a crusade against everything that violates her sense of morals, and if that means killing the offending party then so be it.
- Let's You and Him Fight: Even though Spinnerette is handcuffed to a chair, Sarah goes for a microphone and calls for (a presumably drugged) Mecha Maid the moment Spinnerette begins to resist.
- Madness Mantra: When she sees Spinnerette wrestle Mecha Maid to the ground and handily pin her in a suggestive manner, she immediately goes for the drugged muffins that she keeps on her person while trying to convince herself that she's not gay.Sarah: You don't like girls—You don't like girls—You don't like girls...
- May Contain Evil: Her fruit pies are laced with a personality-altering drug that is extremely addictive and causes those it has affected to become polite, friendly, and adhere to traditional Christian morals. However, she isn't the original source of the drugs and is drugged herself.
- Mundane Solution: Ironically beaten not from a fight with Spinnerette, but being shoved off-stage by a little girl who had diabetes and thus didn't eat her pies.
- Murder Is the Best Solution: She orders the police of Circleville to kill Spinnerette. Not subdue, not restrain, not capture, but kill so as to "protect Circleville's 'perfect' lifestyle."
- Obliviously Evil: She fails to see how drugging people against their will is not just wrong, but dangerous in her bid to "keep Circleville perfect." Of course, she was drugged herself, and the drugs may or may not be affecting her psychology in ways beyond suppressing her sexuality, leading her to spread them around to others.
- Oh Crap!: Get this when her mind-controlled Mecha Maid continues her assult, despite Spinnerette having surrendered, due to Megan telling her to "Win at any costs" which apparently includes Megan's life.
- Powers Do the Fighting: She relies entirely on her drug-addled brainwashing victims to do the fighting for her. The last time she took action personally was using a gun on a completely unarmed priest. She is so utterly inept as a fighter that a small child can, and does, best her.
- Shameless Fanservice Girl: According to Heather, the population of Circleville as a whole thought this when she posed with a tied-up shirt and unbuttoned daisy dukes for a billboard add, which cost her the title of Circleville Pumpkin Queen, which then went to Heather.Heather: It was salacious! She had her shirt tied up, you could see her belly button and everything!
- Sore Loser: Combined with Ungrateful Bitch, and Zerg Rush. After Spinnerette manages to take down a brainwashed Mecha Maid, without killing her, the first thing Megan does is run to the nearest microphone and tell the people of Circleville to crush Spinnerette.
- Strawman Political: While churches having such extreme viewpoints do exist, they in no way represent any officially recognized tenet or denomination of Christianity. Further, any sect that deliberately interrogrates, browbeats, and then drugs their faithful as shown here is universally condemned as a cult and utterly excommunicated, at best.
- Supreme Chef: She joined the same cooking class as Heather, and became a successful baker capable of whipping up the best darn fruit pies in southern Ohio.
- Villain with Good Publicity: She's the face of Circleville, and is heralded by the press as the image of Incorruptible Pure Pureness. In reality, she's a vicious bully who thinks nothing of drugging unconscious people who are chained to chairs, and then painting herself as the victim when her target fights back.
- We Can Rule Together: She reveals to Spinnerette that she drugged her while she was knocked out, and once the drugs kick in and she becomes family-friendly, she can have a spot on the town ruling council. In response, Spinnerette headbutts her and reveals that her altered physiology makes her resistant to all drugs intended for normal humans.
- Weaksauce Weakness: You don't need a drug resistant body to stop from being controlled by her mind controlling pies. Just don't eat them. Anyone who doesn't like pie or can't eat sweets (such as the little girl with diabetes who defeated her) will not fall under her control.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: Even her intentions are pretty extreme: she wants to keep Circleville free from not just crime, but things like divorce and rudeness as well. To do it, she's drugging her fruit pies which she then distributes to the population at large without warning about the contents.
- Wounded Gazelle Gambit: The moment Mecha Maid shows up on the scene, she acts as if Spinnerette is attacking her for no reason.
Lt. WarthogA North Korean super soldier dispatched to hunt down Kim Jeong when she defected.
- Cain And Able: He is, or at least considers himself to be, Kim Jeong's older brother. He's also a ruthless supersoldier who takes pleasure in beating Kim up.
- Super Soldier: He's a North Korean soldier with Class 5 C-K powers, and is presumably a product of the same program that produced Colonel Glass and Mecha Maid.
- Super Strength: He was strong enough to jump dozens of feet and turn a bridge into a crater with a single punch.
- Super Speed: He was fast enough to keep up with Kim Jeong, who was running at a good 80 kilometres per hour.