Quotes / Murder, Inc.

Thatís right, an employment agency for mercenaries. Because that's how wars are set up, through staffing agencies.

We do not murder. We do not execute. We do not massacre. We never, you may be very certain, we never torture. We have no truck with crimes of passion or hatred or pointless gain. We do not do it for a delight in inhumation, or to feed some secret inner need, or for petty advantage or for some cause or belief; I tell you, gentlemen, that all these reasons are in the highest degree suspect. Look into the face of a man who will kill you for a belief and your nostrils will snuff up the scent of abomination. Hear a speech declaring a holy war and, I assure you, your ears should catch the click of evil's scales and the dragging of its monstrous tail over the purity of the language.
No, we do it for the money. And, because we above all must know the value of a human life, we do it for a great deal of money. There can be few cleaner motives, so shorn of all pretence. Nil mortifi, sine lucre. Remember. No killing without payment.
And always give a receipt.
Dr. Cruces of the Ankh-Morpork Assassins' Guild, Pyramids

The Boatman's Market
One does not buy boats here, nor hire boatmen. At the Boatman's Market, one bids on murder. Cloaks and masks are provided.

Boss won't get off your back? Girlfriend won't stop nagging you? Did that fuckstick Tiffany sell you a bullshit dagger that broke almost immediately despite the fact you spent half your goddamned Col on it?! Have you considered... murder?


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