Doc: How do I say this, your friend is...
Church: Why are you pausing? Caboose is not gonna interrupt you this time.
Doc: No, that was just for dramatic effect. He's pregnant.
Caboose: Oh, good... Wait, what?
Church: All right, are we paying for this service? Because, if we are, I want a refund. And if we're not, I want a refund anyway.
— Red vs. Blue, Episode 76
Dave: I mean, Helen's something special. I've fallen for women before, but never like this. I look at her, and I see myself spending my life with her... I see us growing old together... I see myself bearing her children...
Artie: Er, don't you mean you see her bearing your—
Dave: No, I'm trying to be realistic about this.
Greg: When I got home that night,
Colin: My ovaries did swell,
Ryan: I puffed up like Jiffy-Pop
Wayne: ...I'm a dude! What the hell!
"I was watching Animal Planet, did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, 'Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?' You know it's just some stubborn scientist:
'Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse.'
'Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby.'
'...the male has the baby. You're fired.'"
"Well, there's good news — you've had a baby; the bad news is, it's blown your cock off!"
— Frankie Boyle, Mock the Week.
Frylock: Meatwad, you cannot possibly be pregnant!
Meatwad: Why not?
Frylock: Because you're a... you're... you're a... ...damn it, you're a male!
Meatwad: Really? Awesome! I always wanted a gender!
— "Gee Whiz", Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Stan: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?!?!
Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies!
Stan: Don't you oppress me!
Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?
M-Preg: Since there exists no fanfic genre of ‘M-PMT’ or ‘M-bloody awful period pain’, this is one outlet to make your characters get all the suffering of being female with none of the benefits. Bwahahaahahaa!
"I am Kirk and Spock's illegitimate butt baby. ... Kock."
— Andy Dick
Neil: But that's impossible!
Vyvyan: Yeah, that's what she said! You just can't trust women, can you?