"I forced a bot to watch 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own."
Batman has a lot of movies, all written by human writers. But what would happen if an artificial intelligence wrote a Batman movie? Writer and comedian Keaton Patti sought out the answer and, to quote him, "forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own." And from the first page released on his Twitter alone, it's quite unlike anything Batman fans had ever seen.
Read it in its original script form here
or read it in glorious comic book form here.
This fanfic contains examples of:
- Abstract Eater: Joker apparently drinks anarchy.
- Adaptational Context Change: Batman uses the name "One-Face" to refer to the Joker, despite it being canonically another short-lived alias for Harvey Dent/Two-Face.
- Adaptational Dumbass: Batman in most official adaptations is vastly intelligent, having mastered a multitude of fields. This Batman briefly forgets his parents died years ago.
- Adaptational Jerkass: Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face, which no other Batman would normally do.
- Adaptation Distillation: These characters with decades worth of depth and fleshing out are boiled down to essential traits expressed extremely simplistically.
- Ambiguously Human: Alfred gives birth to Robin. As you know, human men can't spontaneously birth a child.
- Ambiguous Syntax: Joker says that his one rule is that he never follows rules and that he doesn't follow. Is he saying that, since his only rule is a rule, he doesn't follow it, or is he saying that not even he understands what he's saying?Joker: I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't.
- Animal-Themed Superbeing: Batman is themed around bats, as per usual, but several times, it seems he actually thinks he's an anthropomorphic bat instead of a human dressed up like a bat.
- Arch-Enemy: According to Batman, bats and clowns are "moral enemies", which is why he's Joker's eternal foe.
- Artistic License – Physics: Batman somehow drinks bats “like a bat would” despite bats obviously not being liquid.
- Batman Grabs a Gun: Batman fires a rocket at the Joker in a fit of anger, only for the Clown Prince of Crime to deflect the projectile with his sick sense of humor.
- Black Comedy: Courtesy of the Joker himself. He brings Batman a "Batday" present, which is a coupon for new parents that's expired. The story also milks a lot of jokes from Batman being one of fiction's most famous orphans, including in the opening lines.Narrator: He is sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan.
- Black Comedy Animal Cruelty: Batman mentions punching a penguin into jail to make Gotham safe at the beginning. The fact that he didn't say the Penguin implies he beat up a normal one.
- Black Comedy Cannibalism: When Joker states Batman drinks water, the latter retorts with "I drink bats just like a bat would!"
- Department of Redundancy Department: “An explosion explodes” right before Joker and Two-Face arrive.
- Evil Lawyer Joke: Two-Face is described by the narration as "a man but attorney", in the same manner as Joker's "a clown but insane."
- Fantastic Racism: According to Batman, Joker and Two-Face hate him "for being a bat".
- Fastball Special: Batman throwing Alfred at Two-Face.
- Heart Is an Awesome Power: Apparently, having a "sick sense of humor" like the Joker allows one to deflect batrockets.
- Immediate Self-Contradiction: Joker says "I have never followed a rule. That is my rule." He then lampshades how nonsensical it is by stating not even he understands that logic.
- Mister Seahorse: Batman commands Alfred to "give birth to Robin", prompting the butler to go into the childbearing process on the spot "since it is his job".
- Noble Demon: Two-Face, after flipping Alfred like a coin and the butler landing face up, then leaves without a fuss.
- Orphan's Ordeal: Played for laughs. Batman really misses his parents. At one point, he looks around for his parents, having apparently forgotten they died, and the realization "makes him have anger." Joker also trolls him with a coupon for new parents.
- Related in the Adaptation: Alfred being commanded to birth a Robin implies every Robin is in fact his biological son.
- Shaped Like Itself: When Joker and Two-Face make their entrance, the narration describes it as "An explosion explodes".
- Stealth Pun: Instead of flipping his trusty coin, Two-Face flips Alfred Pennyworth.
- Surreal Humor: AI clearly isn't as good at writing stories as humans, but that just makes this all the funnier.
- Troll: At the end, Joker gives Batman a coupon for new parents... but it's expired.
- Truly Single Parent: Alfred starts to birth a Robin on Batman's command.
