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With Apologies to Jesse Jackson indeed!
Derk was the nyght as pich, or as the cole,
And at the wyndow out she putte hir hole,
And Absolon, hym fil no bet ne wers,
But with his mouth he kiste hir naked ers
Like Literal Ass Kicking, certain rear-end related sayings aren't always figurative. Often used as a form of embarassment, Literal Ass Kissing is a rather ultimate form of humiliation and submission.
A commmon variant is the Literal Genie version, when someone isn't familiar with the idiom and assumes it's an order.
See also Literal Ass Kicking.
Examples:
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Film
Literature
- Older Than Print: "The Millers Tale" in The Canterbury Tales, which might also be the first ever literary reference to "open your mouth and close your eyes..."
Derk was the nyght as pich, or as the cole,
And at the wyndow out she putte hir hole,
And Absolon, hym fil no bet ne wers,
But with his mouth he kiste hir naked ers
- Modern English translation:
Dark as pitch, or as coal, was the night, and at the window she put out her hole, and Absolom, who knew no better or worse but with his mouth he kissed her naked ass so sweetly, before he was aware of this.
- Subverted later in the same story, when Absalom gets a red hot poker and returns to the window. When he calls for his kiss again, the lady's lover sticks his ass out the window to pull the same prank. *Sizzle*
- In James Joyce's Ulysses, Leopold Bloom has a habit of kissing his wife's bottom as a greeting.
- Used as a combined joke, CMOA, and Nightmare Fuel in Tithe by Holly Black: after finding out a villain's True Name, the main character sarcastically tells him to kiss her ass, and doesn't realize he's magically compelled to obey. "That is the true nature of servitude . . . Not at all pretty. In the future, I suggest you be less inventive with your insults."
Live-Action Television
- On Scrubs, a rich donor to the hospital is admitted as a patient. JD fantasizes that Dr. Kelso comes into the room and lifts up the patient's bedspread to kiss her butt.
- Thanks to the Literal Genie nature of the magic bean in The 10th Kingdom, this trope is the result when Butt Monkey (ha-ha!) Tony Lewis wishes for his boss "and his entire family to kiss my ass and be my slaves forever". It doesn't help that at least one of the Murrays must have been something of a brown-noser already, since he insists on kissing Tony's ass repeatedly. (Or could that also have been covered under the "forever" part?)
Music
- The titular ass-breath from The Coup's song "Ass Breath Killers" is a breath condition that one gets from kissing too much ass.
Professional Wrestling
- From WWE: Vince McMahon 's "Kiss My Ass" Club, created so Vince could bribe a wrestler that's been doing something he ought not have done. Wrestler would watch Vince arrogantly bend over and reveal to them his buff and beautiful magila. It was forced closed when The Rock made him kiss Rikishi Fatu's ass. Despite this, Mr. Mcmahon still takes advantage of his power with this club to this date.
- Scott Steiner and Test opened their own club, where wrestlers and divas had to pretty much do the same thing to their manly butts. After forcing the only near recipient into the corner of the ring and taking turns farting on her, Mick Foley ended before things got too evil.
- Mitch was made to kiss Triple H's ass. His face was shoved in by Shawn Michaels.
- Similarly, to the first ending of the kiss my ass club, Vince's face was shoved in the ass of the Big Show.
Theatre
- Clive Barker's play The History of the Devil. The Devil makes it a point to ask several characters, although very politely.
Western Animation
- South Park:
- When Randy Marsh accidentally says the N word on TV, he apologizes to Jesse Jackson by kissing his ass on camera. This also turns the episode title "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson" into a Double Entendre.
- Another South Park example: in the episode "Fun with Veal", Cartman refuses to help Stan and Kyle rescue the calves from the veal farm unless Kyle kisses him on the arse. Kyle reluctantly agrees, and Cartman lets off a fart in his face.
- Family Guy: Peter is riding a tricycle. Because of Peter's age and size, the tricycle breaks. Peter's mom is later seen putting a band-aid on Peter's bum and kissing it. Peter runs off with glee.
- In the story where The Simpsons go to Ireland, Bart tricks people into kissing his bottom (which has been spraypainted) instead of the Blarney Stone, although this trick backfired when an Irish version of Nelson decides to carve his initials in the "rock."
Other
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