The survivors of the Poseidon would be rescued and taken to land in Italy and be placed on a train which would go through a tunnel in the Alps, and the tunnel would collapse and everyone would be trapped under the mountain. Irwin Allen cleared his throat modestly. What, he asked, did I think about his idea? It was, I said, a great idea, terrific if not actually stupendous.
But I had a better idea.
Here's what happens, I said. After everybody fights his or her way to the top and/or bottom of the boat, surviving fires and floods and explosions, another big tidal wave comes along and turns the great ship over again. And so the hapless survivors have to retrace their steps!
But I had a better idea.
Here's what happens, I said. After everybody fights his or her way to the top and/or bottom of the boat, surviving fires and floods and explosions, another big tidal wave comes along and turns the great ship over again. And so the hapless survivors have to retrace their steps!
We see what absolutely nobody wanted to see - Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler completely split up as she decided to have a family with someone else. Oh yeah, you nailed that one, movie. That's exactly what everybody was hoping was going to happen by the end of the first film. Just like Tommy Lee Jones splitting up with his wife in Men in Black II, or the orphanage being shut down in Blues Brothers 2000, or all the supporting characters being killed in Alien³, you made one of the most likeable elements in the previous film mean completely nothing. *scoffs* Why don't you just write a big sign at the ending of the first movie saying "You don't like this! You don't want to see this go anywhere! Do not focus on the heartwarming moment we're intentionally focusing on!"?
I believe we have some catching up to do. A few memory gaps to fill? Let's start with the Beast Wars. They're over. You lost.
— Megatron, Beast Machines
The original TRON stars Jeff Bridges as game developer Kevin Flynn in the most confusing plot ever summarized on Wikipedia. It doesn't matter, it's all setup for him getting sucked into a computer and having adventures inside its digital fantasy world... Now flash forward 30 years later, to the most unnecessary sequel of all time, TRON: Legacy. We learn that Flynn is incredibly bad at learning life lessons and has gotten his silly ass stuck inside the computer again.
— Cracked
And so the series ends: The bad guys are mostly dead, the good guys live happily ever after, and Alpha Q's planets are finally restored to life...until Primus's great plan completely fails, the sun collapses into a black hole
, all the planets are horribly annihilated off-screen as part of the backstory for the next cartoon series, everybody forgets that any of this happened, and augh why did we watch this pointless stupid show to begin with?!?
, all the planets are horribly annihilated off-screen as part of the backstory for the next cartoon series, everybody forgets that any of this happened, and augh why did we watch this pointless stupid show to begin with?!?If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.
Hey, remember that "no fate but what you make" thing? Nah, fuck that! You're all gonna die!
—Jay Bauman on Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Best of the Worst
Heartless, Heartless, Heartless! Things haven't changed one bit!
—Donald Duck, Kingdom Hearts II
Hey, remember the ending to Thor: Ragnarok? Well, I'm gonna go ahead and take a fat, purple shit all over that.
These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world ... and then we fucked up the endgame.
— Rep. Charlie Wilson (TX), Charlie Wilson's War
You can't have happy endings in sitcoms, not really, because if everyone's happy, the show would be over, and above all else, the show... has to keep going.
—BoJack, BoJack Horseman, "Free Churro"
Pearl: But... it can't be..!
Spinel: Ohohoho! But it can be! And it is! I got a new style, and a few new toys that are gonna put an end to your "happily ever after" once and for ALL!
It seems our silly stork has delivered the babies to the wrong house!
If Roito died, it would have ended nicely. Just a tragic tearjerker, right? But if he doesn't die and things continue like this...
—Fran Madaraki, Franken Fran Frantic, "Neverending Story: Part 2"
"Here's the thing: multiverse theory's a bitch. Fact is, you— or at least, another you— travelled to the past, saved the world, came back to your future, and finally defeated the Androids! Congratulations, son! You won! So, you decided to celebrate! Head back to the past, get your hair ruffled, and finally get that thumbs-up from daddy dearest! But you made one... fatal... mistake: you took away... what was mine!"
Tony: Wait, hold on a second, so what is this? Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, fairy tale stuff?
Prince Wendell: Well the Golden Age was almost two hundred years ago, when the ladies you refer to had their great moments in history. Things have gone down hill a bit since then. Happy ever after didn't last as long as we hoped.
All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories — if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death.
—The Sandman, "24 Hours"
"Little did we know… our struggle was to continue…"
Screenwriter: Anyway, so then we jump forward to 1969, and Indy is old and grumpy and getting separated, and his son has died, and he's sad, he's so sad.
Producer: Oh, my god!
Screenwriter: Yeah, see, that's the thing. When you bring back an old character that people love, you gotta make them sad and miserable. I don't make the rules.
Producer: Do I?
Screenwriter: I dunno. Somebody must have made that rule, though, 'cause we keep doing that.
Producer: Oh, my god!
Screenwriter: Yeah, see, that's the thing. When you bring back an old character that people love, you gotta make them sad and miserable. I don't make the rules.
Producer: Do I?
Screenwriter: I dunno. Somebody must have made that rule, though, 'cause we keep doing that.
