"Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect."
"Every once in a while we turn up another P.D.Q. Bach manuscript in a monastery or attic. And every time we do, we have a great feeling of anticipation, a feeling of exultation, you might say. A feeling that this new piece we've found can't possibly be as bad as the last piece. But so far, every new piece we find of his lives up to the same low standards set by the previous one."
— Peter Schickele on P.D.Q. Bach, An Evening with P.D.Q. Bach
Aram: To say that Jeriah's writings are actually poetry is much the same as saying that tripping down a flight of stairs and breaking your collar bone is ballet.
Gamal: What about the 20 minute speech comparing love to plate tectonics? Was that a poem too?
Aram: I don't even know what the hell that was.
"Of all people, Nguyen best sums up why Birdemic works in the bonus features: When an audience member sarcastically asks why his film is so awesome, he responds with one word: 'Sincerity' "
—Andrew Kasch, Dread Central's Birdemic: Shock and Terror DVD/Blu-Ray review
"Surround yourself with people who’re too afraid to question you, spend a few years having smoke piped up your ricker by studios who’ll let you get away with whatever you want, and believe in all of the magazine covers and hype about being ‘The New Spielberg,’ and the twentieth draft never comes. The second or third draft; that’s good enough. “Monkey in a human suit, I’ve nailed it! M. Night does it again, yeah boiii!” And those terrible reviews and negative critics, well, it’s all persecution. “Oh, they hate my movies because my name’s on them."
—Stuart Millard, "The Self-Destruction of M. Knight Shyamalan
"I first read this sentence nearly three years ago. Since then, I have read it once a week in an increasingly desperate search for meaning. But I still don't understand it."
—Nick Page, In Search of the World's Worst Writers, on the opening line of Amanda McKittrick Ros's Delina Delaney