"You know me. I always save the day."
Iím realizing Iím a pretty lousy hero. But Iím trying. I made a leap of faith. Iím asking you to as well.
Look at you! What are you, a protagonist? I'm so proud! Have you thwarted any villains yet? Elan:
We mostly run away or have mixed victories. Wait, does Nale count? Tarquin: Eh, not really. Elan:
"Pumaman is ten times the movie that
Captain America is, at
least. And I'm being serious; I'm not trying to be funny.
Pumaman is a
far superior film. Just look at
Pumaman for a second: It's full of action beats. There's lots of fighting. (It's not great, but it's fighting.) The music is surprisingly catchy! (Little crappy, but catchy.) And Pumaman has actual fucking superpowers. I mean, OK, so flying and teleporting has nothing to do with being a puma, but hell,
look at this! He's using superpowers! He's tearing a car up and flipping it over with super-strength! That's
doing stuff! And it even has a memorable villain in the form of Donald Pleasence, who even in crappy movies does a pretty damn good job. Now, don't get me wrong: the special effects were terrible, the mythology was ridiculous, and the hero of
Pumaman was a whiny bitch, too. But at the end of the day, it was about a hero flying around and fighting crime. And he did it a lot. Something
Captain America didn't get around to until the 75-minute mark."
Gabriel Macht isÖalright as the Spirit. I guess. I mean, he is not really asked to do a whole lot and that is another complaint I have: The Spirit doesnít really DO anything! Seriously, for as much power as he has, he is surprisingly ineffectual. Even after the climax I kept expecting something more from him. Seriously!? Thatís it? Its sad that I think the police actually have the crime issue covered and donít need a superhero.
"All you ever do is wave your finger at how people are gonna get killed and yet you're constantly getting people killed! What's wrong with you?! You're terrible heroes! All of you!"