Quotes / Failure Is the Only Option


We're bound to fail
'cause you failed before
We're bound to fail
'cause you failed before
— "Bound to Fail" by Accept

So I found that life is just a game.
Good to know there's never been a winner.
Try your hardest, you'll still be a loser.
The world will still be turning when you're gone.
— "Wheels of Confusion" by Black Sabbath

"Another failure, Shredder? You have an almost perfect record!"

"We'll strategize this the usual way. The powerful will delegate to the untalented until failure is achieved."
Dogbert, Dilbert

Failure is always an option.
MythBusters manifesto

Losing is fun!
— The Dwarf Fortress motto

You can't stop it. You never do. You always fail. It's your lot.
Van Allen, The X-Files ("Hellbound")

Robotnik: Do we ever win?
Eggman: That depends on your definition of "win".
Robotnik: Beating Sonic!
Eggman: Oh. Well, then, no.

"She died in her real life, and that's all the Director ever remembered of her. So now, no matter how tough she is, no matter how hard she fights, she's always going to fail, because that's what she's based on. No matter what she's doing, or what she's trying to accomplish, just when her goal is within her reach, it gets yanked away. Every. Single. Time. Can you imagine what that's like?"
Church, describing Tex, Red vs. Blue

"You know, we can't wager on this if you lose every time."
The Abusive Friend, Sexy Losers

"In any race for hidden treasure, it is always the protagonists who sweat and bleed and die to overcome the many challenges inherent in finding it—only for the antagonists to seize it from them at the last minute."
General Tarquin, The Order of the Stick

"You can try your best, do everything correct, and yet you can still fail. Just get used to it. It's the way things are gonna happen, because you can try your best to do everything right, and in the end you still wake up in the middle of the forest, abandoned and dying to death...."
Donnie DuPre, Demo Reel

"Well, Pippin, I guess you finally realize what we knew from the beginning... that your search for perfection and fulfillment was doomed from the start."
The Players, Pippin (final scene)

"It was never meant to be! FATE HAS CONSPIRED AGAINST US!"
Edd, Ed, Edd n Eddy, "Don't Rain on My Ed"

"Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try."
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, "Burns' Heir"


"Tom Batiuk: The man who watches that Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial and says 'Amateurs.'"
Chris Sims on Funky Winkerbean

"Because nothing sets up quality television like knowing ahead of time that the heroes are doomed not only to have their hopes and dreams smashed like a glass menagerie under the feet of an angry elephant, but also a chance to witness them wallowing in the stench of their own personal failure!"
SFDebris on Star Trek: Voyager, "Eye Of The Needle"

"Mulder gives Scully a gentle kiss when they are re-united....Duchovny plays these scenes really well because there is some kind of emotional truth to them. Compare to his reaction to being reunited with his sister (again) and even the actor canít quite bring himself to invest in the idea because it has been proven false over and over. When he is asked to almost break down before her, it smacks of an actor trying to overcome his natural prejudice to the material."
Joe Ford on The X-Files, "Redux II"