Quotes: Don't Explain the Joke

"Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies."
Barry Cryer

Jay-Z: Cause I kill at will like solid water dude
Rap Critic: Solid water? Really?
Jay-Z: Y'all niggas don't get it
Rap Critic: No, we got it.
Jay-Z: Kill at Will
Rap Critic: We get it, it's just not that funny.
Jay-Z: Solid water
Rap Critic: Yes, thank you.
Jay-Z: Ice Cube
The Rap Critic, "Top 5 Worst Lyrics I've Heard (This Month)"

"This joke is funny because the Green Devil looks like he's made of Jello, and Jello rhymes with yellow. I realized I shouldn't have to say that, but I need something to fill this space."
RyanMC, commenting on Two Evil Scientists

"It's like when you tell a joke and nobody laughs. You then explain the joke and everyone goes 'oh, that's pretty clever, I guess', but they still won't laugh because you didn't tell the joke right in the first place!"
— Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw'''

"It's not funny if I have to explain it."

Antillus: When we get back, you and I are going to have a talk in which you lose your teeth. Because I'm going to knock them out of your head. With my fists.
Phrygius: 'I think we all understood what you meant at the end of your first sentence, dolt.
High Lords Antillus and Phrygius, Codex Alera

"What do you mean explaining the joke ruins it? Fuck you!"

"Now you and this robotic guardian can have some quality time... Yes, quality snack time! When he snacks... on you! For you... ARE the snack! Ciao!"
Dimentio, Super Paper Mario

"The fact that you had to explain the joke just shows how lame it was."

"If you have to explain a joke, is it really a joke?"
Craig Ferguson, The Late Late Show from September 30, 2008

"Did you ever notice how men leave the toilet seat up? [beat] [Chirping Crickets] ...That's the joke."
McBain, The Simpsons, "A Star Is Burns"

Grant: Well Gront, it took a lot of effort, but I finally got you that Red Sunset Egg, now you can finally finish that cake.
Gront: What Cake?
Grant: Th-The one you needed this egg to finish?
Gront: Oh, that. Yeah, I was never actually making a cake. I made the whole egg story up.
Grant: What!?
Gront: Yup, no cake, I lied. Haha! Get it?
Grant: Uuugggh.... yeah, I got it...
Gront: It's a reference!
Grant: I know the reference...
Gront: To Portal!
Grant: Yes, Gront, i've heard it...
Gront: The cake is a lie!
Grant: I KNOW!!!
Gront: That's where it's from!

Captain Ginyu: Now to deal with these three. Make sure you treat them nicely, boys.
Jeice: Yeah, and when he says "Treat'em nice," that don't mean we're gonna buy you flowers or nothin' like that. No, it means we're gonna kill you!
Captain Ginyu: Oh, would you please shut up!
Jeice: [speaking small] Right, right, sorry about that...
Dragon Ball Z ep 62, "New Ally, New Problem" (English dub)

"If you have to say 'Get it?', you've ruined the joke."
Kevyn Andreyasn, Schlock Mercenary [1]

"[...] I heard all of the Pepperidge Farm servants chant in perfect unison: 'The Goldfish is here! He has come to lead us all to salvation!!!' Naturally, I figured they were all a few ingredients short of a ginger bread man (haha, get it!? Pepperidge Farm sells ginger bread men and I was making a subtle reference to that with my joke! Get it!? HAHAHAHA! THAT'S SO GODDAMNED FUNNY I COULD PUKE! HOLY BASTARD THAT RULED!)."
Roger Barr, I-Mockery.com, "THE GIANT GOLDFISH INVASION!"

Neeshka: Okay, explain that one to me.
Khelgar Ironfist: Well, she said your brains are next to your tail... which would imply that your brains are in your rear end. And that means you breathe through your—
Neeshka: Okay, okay, I get it, all right? Little witch.
Khelgar: Don't take it so hard. I had to explain it, which means the insult's a failure.

Peter: So, are Aces high or low?
Michael Eisner: They go both ways.
Bill Gates: Ha! He said "They go both ways!"
(Everyone laughs)
Ted Turner: Like a bisexual!
Michael Eisner: Thank you, Ted. That was the joke.