Quotes / Crapsaccharine World

"When you look with your eyes,
Everything seems nice,
But, if you look twice,
You can see it's all lies."

"If this is paradise
I wish I had a lawnmower"
Talking Heads, "(Nothing But) Flowers"

"Plastic palace people
Sing silent songs, they dream too long
Their memories just stare"
Scott Walker, "Plastic Palace People"

"The world that so enchanted me was rotten to the core"

"When I first seen Columbia, that sky was the brightest, bluest sky that ever was. Seemed like Heaven. Then your eyes adjusted to the light and you see that sea of white faces looking back at'cha."
Daisy Fitzroy, Bioshock Infinite

Rung: You're saying the more outwardly peaceable and well-adjusted a society, the greater the likelihood-
Rewind: Of it having a sinister underbelly. Yup.
Skids: Even Lovetopia, off Rigel VII?
Rewind: Lovetopia? Please. The Lovetopian elite were selling the lower classes to the Macerators. The 'magic ingredient' in every pint of Yum Yum Juice? An impoverished family of six.
Skids: Cuddlex, in the Benevolon Sector?
Rewind: A wonderful place for a vacation—if you ignore the fact that they breed haemoslaves to fight in service to the Antigod. And don't even get me started on the living hell that is Giggleopolis.

"A paradise deep in the fog. Clear the fog, and you will be surrounded by more happiness. Head for the Tree of Eden with the fruit of paradise in hand."
A tablet in Eden, La-Mulana
"Welcome to the paradise of the eternally lost. In times past, this place was called Eden. Now it is an accursed site of war, where vengeful spirits are lost, wandering the paths of life. Those who enter Eden, do not make light of this place."
The same tablet, after the relevant puzzle is completed

I've seen the future, you know what it is!? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener"! You live up top, you live Cocteau's way: what he wants, when he wants, how he wants! The alternative? Come down here, maybe starve to death.
Edgar Friendly, Demolition Man

"Ilium is just Omega with expensive shoes."
Tela Vasir, Mass Effect 2

"Slap some rainbows everywhere, and boom! The world's still fucked up, but boy is it CUUUUUTE!!!"
President Meat, Sparklecare

Real Life

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The hundred million self-confident German masters were to be brutally installed in Europe, and secured in power by a monopoly of technical civilization and the slave-labor of a dwindling native population of neglected, diseased, illiterate cretins, in order that they might have leisure to buzz along infinite Autonbahnen, admire the Strength-Through-Joy Hostel, the Party Headquarters, the Military Museum and the Planetarium which the Fuhrer would have built in Linz (his new Hitleropolis), trot round local picture galleries, and listen over their cream buns to endless recordings of The Merry Widow. This was to be the German Millenium, from which even the imagination was to have no means of escape.
Hugh Trevor-Roper, on the world Hitler intended to create.

The more gentle and nice we make it look, the more vicious the story can be.
Edmund McMillen on the Meat Boy iOS game

Andrew Hussie's memetic assessment of Homestuck's lightheartedness

"But how can we enjoy the bright sunshine when we know the terror that lurks beneath the game? It's not fooling us anymore. We have seen what it becomes. YOU ARE ALL DEMONS! You are all horrible demons and I hate you, walking monsters! Go! Expire! Away, away from us! You wretched demons! You won't take me! Stop your cheery lies! STOP YOUR CHEERY LIES!"
DeceasedCrab upon witnessing what lies beyond Eversion's exterior...

"Think about how many laws have to not exist in that universe for this show to happen. It's apparently legal for a person or corporation to imprison a person, as long as you feed him. It's legal to film and record someone without his knowledge. It's legal to defraud a person out of literally every possible thing he could have in his life, from a real marriage to a real career. If it can be done to Truman, it can be done to anyone, including you. It's as much an 'anything goes' society as The Road Warrior."

"In The Noonday Demon, Andrew Solomon makes the point that depression sufferers see the world, their own circumstances and failings, more accurately than healthy people—positing thus that perhaps optimism is the defining characteristic of the human condition...Millennial advertising actively addresses and discards that we are facing The Sixth Extinction, the one brought on by ourselves, in which the seeds of our own destruction were sown through our need for progress, as Western Civilization turned out to be nothing more than a march to annihilation, one towards which we have been hurtling for thousands of years—today is actually pretty great!

Perhaps 'Pretty Great' itself performs Solomon’s point, pandering as it does to the millennial optimism of millions of young people who see not the world as it is but as it is on the selective reality of their Facebook feeds—on what they see right now. Our doom is programmed in the optimism that is the defining characteristic of our human condition. Thus our doom is programmed in us. We were meant to be this way. We were meant to end the world. Woo-hoo!"
Maya Gurantz, "Don't Be Sad, Millennials: Today Is Actually Pretty Great! (P.S. You're All Going To Die)"

"I get a lot of people saying that because I used to be in Hawai'i , I was so fortunate and that I'm stupid for moving to the mainland. Honestly? Hawaii is a real mixed bag - on one hand, you have the culture, constant flip-flop weather, rain everyday, the most beautiful scenery in the Pacific. On the other? It's expensive as hell, since the price of almost everything is jacked up. You know the stereotype of hawaiians liking that disgusting canned meat? It's because that's the only thing that won't deplete your entire paycheck. If you're one of those geeks who people beat up on a lot? It's utterly pilau. For one, you can NOT keep a secret in Hawai'i. The reason nobody gossips, even in Honolulu is because it'll reach the person you talked about in days if not hours. Get in a high school that has a reputation for being a borderline reform school? Guess what - everyone KNOWS it, and that says a LOT about your character. Hawai'i is also your time zone. If I say, lived in Indiana, I could log onto the web and talk with friends who understand me. In Hawai'i? Everyone in the mainland is in bed during peak logon times - Everyone in Guam, New Zealand, or Australia is still at work, so who's online? The people who just beat you up at school. Better hope the people on the other islands don't have friends with the people you got in a spat with over lunch. It's utter heaven if you are friends with the locals... but if you're a social exile, you have less places to hide on an island than you do in the nice big mainland. It's a gilded cage for an introverted geeky person who people love to pick on for no good reason. Also the bugs are terrible."
—A blogger on why Hawai'i can be this.