Gary: Right now you are down and out,
And feelin' really crappy...
Nicky: I'll say.
Gary: But when I see how sad you are,
It sorta makes me... happy!
Gary: Sorry, Nicky; human nature!
Nothin' I can do;
Makin' me feel glad that I'm not you!
Please take my wife, please take my wife
Then Iíll take your wife, then Iíll fuck your wife
Just a fucking joke, though its kinda not
Thereís a little truth in every single shot
Fueled by hate
Await your fate
Your time has come
To die on stage
It's funny because it's not
It is not enough for me to succeed. Others must fail.
Dwarf: By Moradin's beard! Why do only our homes and children burn?!
Black Mage: [winking] Because it seemed excessively cruel!
Dr. Ivo Robotnik: Ah, hap-PINESS is always so much more enjoyable when it's based on the misery of millions.
Richard III is William Shakespeare's first great comedy. Okay, I know that it gets listed as a tragedy. But, y'see, a tragedy is where a lot of people get killed, and you feel sorry for some of them. In Richard III, a lot of people get killed, and you don't feel sorry for any of them.
"Whenever someone gets run over, I giggle. Does that make me a bad person?"
"You know, it's funny. They say that television encourages violence. But I'm smashing his face in, and we haven't got one!"
—Eddie Hitler, Bottom
"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy- that's funny."
Carly: So how's Freddie?
Mrs. Benson: Broken. But I see you're just fine. ''Isn't that nice?
—iCarly, "iSaved Your Life"
"How much humor can we milk out of psychotic behavior? Find out this fall! Only on Marvel/DC!
"It's only funny until someone gets hurt... then it's frickin' hilarious!"