Quotes / Comedic Sociopathy

Gary: Right now you are down and out,
And feelin' really crappy...

Nicky: I'll say.
Gary: But when I see how sad you are,
It sorta makes me... happy!

Nicky: Happy?!
Gary: Sorry, Nicky; human nature!
Nothin' I can do;
It's schadenfreude,
Makin' me feel glad that I'm not you!

Samerina Volcuzas: The bitch spat on me okay! She didn't know her place! So I showed her where it is. Under my boot. Though to be honest, I think she just stained these boots of mine. Now I must buy another pair of boots again. Can you imagine how much it cost me to buy these things?
Dieter Mengele: One burned down shopping mall and a hundred innocent civilians?
Samerina Volcuzas: Exactly!

Please take my wife, please take my wife
Then Iíll
take your wife, then Iíll fuck your wife
Just a fucking joke, though its kinda not
Thereís a little truth in every single shot
Fueled by hate
Await your fate
Your time has come
To die on stage
It's funny because it's not

It is not enough for me to succeed. Others must fail.

Dwarf: By Moradin's beard! Why do only our homes and children burn?!
Black Mage: [winking] Because it seemed excessively cruel!

Dr. Ivo Robotnik: Ah, hap-PINESS is always so much more enjoyable when it's based on the misery of millions.

Richard III is William Shakespeare's first great comedy. Okay, I know that it gets listed as a tragedy. But, y'see, a tragedy is where a lot of people get killed, and you feel sorry for some of them. In Richard III, a lot of people get killed, and you don't feel sorry for any of them.

"Whenever someone gets run over, I giggle. Does that make me a bad person?"

"You know, it's funny. They say that television encourages violence. But I'm smashing his face in, and we haven't got one!"
Eddie Hitler, Bottom

"Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy- that's funny."
Bender, Futurama

"Mwahahaha... Oh come on! If you don't laugh it just seems mean..."

Carly: So how's Freddie?
Mrs. Benson: Broken. But I see you're just fine. ''Isn't that nice?
iCarly, "iSaved Your Life"

"How much humor can we milk out of psychotic behavior? Find out this fall! Only on Marvel/DC!

"It's only funny until someone gets hurt... then it's frickin' hilarious!"
T-shirt slogan

Ms. Tightpussy: That was... horrible, but mildly entertaining.

There's an old Earth word. It's called schadenfreude - the feeling of elation that comes from learning of the suffering of others. Like when you hear that a rival newsman was caught cursing in front of a live mike, or that a particularly corrupt alderman just stepped in front of a garbage truck. It's elation accompanied by that twinge of guilt for feeling so good, and the quiet, fervent prayer that something that bad never happens to you.
Michael Liberty, Liberty's Crusade.