Music / Every Ape And His Brother
Every Ape and His Brother is the stage name for the guy who runs Dozerfleet Productions, and the term also serves as an imprint of Dozerfleet Records which stores parody lyrics to a lot of songs. The song lyrics are grouped into "albums," which are collections of (usually) 10 songs each.
Also, "Every Ape" is its own little story. Each album is a different chapter in a greater Story Arc. The story begins when someone calls someone else up to a red carpet meeting, stating "every ape and his brother will be there." This becomes more true than anyone predicted. Each album is titled after a different creature that shows up to the red carpet meeting.
First in line is Morbid! The Horrendous Hobo!!!, followed by Elefante Elegante Interesante Importante (apparently a cross between Al Capone and Babar.)Songs on each album range in topic greatly, but generally deal with a common theme of an Everything Trying to Kill You Death World.
It is like "Weird Al" Yankovic, but with a pinch of Bloodier and Gorier Sadist Show tendencies. Each song is told from the singer's point of view; but it's a different character each time. Singer characters range from the Righteous Prophet nobody believes to the sadistic Mad Bomber to a doomed victim to a random deranged killer who is cruel to animals. Black Comedy is the rule, though it sometimes borders on Black Comedy. Every now and then, a breather song will show up. These songs often mock commercialism, or revert to a more traditional Weird Al theme of imagining the artist singing about a topic they would never actually sing about.Most of the songs are lyrical parodies, but the occasional style parody makes its way into the mix as well. "Once I'm Gone," for example, is a style parody of Daughtry and Nickelback; while bearing completely original lyrics. "The Haunting Past" is another original song, done in the style of a Billy Joel or Elton John tune. It was written after a high school reunion that the artist attended, in which the girl he knew then had become someone completely different from whom he hoped she'd become. He didn't take it well.
The song collection can be found at its home page on Dozerfleet Wiki
; but most of the song collection is also available at Am I Right?
Discography and Themes By Song
- Morbid! The Horrendous Hobo!!!
- The Only Resort: Papa Roach's "Last Resort" becomes a song about a man with a compulsion to kill chickens, and consider no alternative to killing them.
- Why She Said "Seven Days": Leann Womack sums up the entire plot to The Ring to the tune of "Why They Call it Falling."
Phantasmic: Jaci Velasquez takes a break from Christian Rock and starts singing a jingle for a new hair removal spray commercial.
- Doughboy: Kid Rock and the Pillsbury Doughboy merge into a Composite Character and sing about Pillsbury products.
- Ridiculous: Two clowns debate which one is clownier, and then threaten to kill each other in increasingly silly / violent ways, all to the tune of "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland.
- Lower!!!: Scott Stapp tries to warn the natives of some sort of Celtic tribe that the new cloaked men in blue are really demons in disguise wanting to drag everyone to Hell.
- They'll Claw You Open: Scott Stapp tries to warn visitors of a tropical island that the natives are rather humanitarian.
- The Hundred-Acre Woodland Massacre: Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss' "Whiskey Lullaby" becomes a song about killing Winnie-the-Pooh.
- This Feels Obscene, It's an Earthquake: Based on a mondegreen for Fall Out Boy's "This Ain't a Scene, It's and Arms Race."
- Let the Elements Shine Down: Collective Soul's song "Shine" is repurposed as a listing of the Periodic Table.
- Elefante Elegante Interesante Importante
- Cadmium: "Lithium" is retooled to be about a man's struggle with loneliness and dying RC car batteries after his stinginess drives everyone else away. In the end, he still has no friends. But his willingness to spend money on new nickel-cadmium batteries means that at least his toy cars work again.
- The Bison's Apocalypse: To the tune of Gym Class Heroes' "Cupid's Chokehold," a Flying Brick buffalo with all the subtlety of Godzilla goes around the world finding creative ways to kill anyone who claims it can't be done. A lone prophet must Walk the Earth and warn everyone before they are massacred for their arrogance.
- Serial Bomber: Exactly What It Says on the Tin. To the tune of "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood.
- Serial Bomber, Pt. 2: Remember the Numa Numa meme? Imagine it being sung by a man on a blimp who's about to be blown out of the sky by the serial bomber from the first song, solely because his wife's on the blimp and she was unfaithful to him.
- Salem (Story of a Trial): An edutainment song about the Salem Witch Trials, set to the tune of "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days.
- Slaughterized: A woman cuts a man to ribbons while his ghost sings of the grisly fate.
- Once I'm Gone: This song is a style parody of Daughtry and Nickelback, and serves as a Protest Song to cliche eulogies.
- Livin' It Like al-Queada: Ricky Martin sings about The War on Terror.
- Miss A. Defendant: Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent" gets sent to the electric chair.
- Die Die Die!!!: *NSYNC's "Bye Bye Bye" gets an upgrade to a Darker and Edgier tale. The girl in "Slaughterized" is at it again; but the new man is not as much a helpless victim as his predecessor. When she threatens him; he decides to fight back in a battle that blurs the line between Cycle of Revenge and Escalating War.
- The Chicken of the Opera
Being the most recent album, this one is not yet finished. However, a few of its lyrics are already posted.
- Jerry the Psycho Reindeer: Yep. Rudolph gets the Darker and Edgier treatment.
- Salt the Raging Hamster: "Puff the Magic Dragon" becomes a song about a dwarf hamster that mixes The Incredible Hulk with King Kong.
- Jokerfish: Lady Gaga's "Pokerface" gets stolen by The Joker, who repurposes the song to revel in reiterating to us the plot of "The Laughing Fish."
- The Eel Thing: Bo Bice warns ships about a giant sea monster.
On the Ethics of Creating Werewolves: "Face Down" (Screamo Version) by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus is retooled into a song about The Wolfman 1941.
- Meat Cleaver: Remember that guy from "The Only Resort" who loved killing chickens? Now he does it to ducks! To the tune of "Hash Pipe" by Weezer!
- Serial Bomber, Part 3: The Serial Bomber is believed to be dead. But it turns out he had an apprentice! Now, that apprentice is stalking a black widow to bring about some vigilante justice!
As One: An Anglicization of a song from the Philippines. Remarkable in that it contains absolutely nothing offensive, and nobody dies.
- Pokï¿½dices Apart: A Pokï¿½mon trainer mocks his defeated opponent to the tune of a song by Journey.
- War Crimes: An entire nation is destroyed in every imaginable way, while a young married couple flees in panic and the wife describes the atrocities committed against her neighbors. Set to the tune of "Firework" by Katy Perry, and done in the spirit of "Christmas at Ground Zero" by Weird Al.
- That One: An Americanized version of a song by Ukrainian artist Maria Burmaka, designed to sound like a love song like the type Dido might perform.
- Boozer: An irritated cop chases down a determined drunk driver in a He Who Fights Monsters scenario. Set to the tune of "Loser" by 3 Doors Down.
- Transmorphers: Less Than Advertised: A review of Transmorphers: Fall of Man set to the tune of Lion's theme for the 1986 Transformers cartoon movie.
- The Haunting Past: An original tune of despair of one man's high school crush growing up to be a loser.
- Here Come the Snakes: A Snakes on a Plane homage reiterating the plot from the point of view of a passenger on Flight 121, set to the tune of "Here Comes the Rain" by the Mavericks.
- And Now For Something Completely Different: "Phantasmic," "Doughboy," "Cadmium," "As One," and "That One" are not about death.
- And Your Little Dog Too:
"Then Roo was killed. / That left Kanga wishing she could kill herself.../" ï¿½"Hundred-Acre Woodland Massacre"
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Salt the Raging (Dwarf) Hamster, natch.
- Ax-Crazy: At least 21 characters which can be somewhat named. And 22 if you count the Earthquake. Salt, Jerry, the Bison, The Evil Hair Maiden, her slayer, the Serial Bomber, the Serial Bomber's Apprentice, the Stalked Black Widow, the Butcher, the Terrorist, the Clowns, the Scientist, the Wolfman, the Eel Thing, and more. And that's not even getting into the Always Chaotic Evil tribes mentioned in "Lower!!!" and "They'll Claw You Open."
- Bullying a Dragon: What All of the Other Reindeer do to Jerry.
- But Thou Must: The wolfman really doesn't have a choice; he's programmed to kill everyone, including his girlfriend.
- Coitus Ensues: Mocked in "Less Than Advertised" with the line: "And now a scene of pointless sex!"
- Creator Breakdown / Real Life Writes the Plot / Take That: The songwriter's personal troubles with a malicious girl on campus who just so happened to be a hairstylist at the time resulted in the "Evil Hair Maiden" recurring character. This same Evil Hair Maiden is named Kelsea Linney in the Ciem Webcomic Series, where she's portrayed as Stupid Evil. The Evil Hair Maiden in Elefante kills the Author Avatar in "Slaughterized" before a new Author Avatar kills her in "Die Die Die."
The songwriter's sister once owned a dwarf hamster named Salt. It liked biting everyone.
- Create Your Own Villain: All of the Other Reindeer committed felonies against Jerry and harassed him until he became an Omnicidal Maniacï¿½with Santa's blessing!
Crush. Kill. Destroy!: The Bison has this as his entire modus operandi.
- Death by Sex: A common problem in the Serial Bomber universe.
- Eating the Eye Candy: What any female singer trying to perform "Phantasmic" sounds like she's doing when singing it identically to Jaci's "Baptize Me." Especially considering that it's a song where a girl is promoting a product to men to remove unsightly hair.
- For the Evulz: In "On the Ethics," the Mad Scientist appears to be doing his experiment for...no real reason. Also, the hunters in "Massacre" have as their top reason for murdering Pooh: "It Amused Me."
- Frickin' Laser Beams: "Less Than Advertised" references the ones in Transmorphers and its sequel.
- Gorn: Played for comedy quite often.
- Gotta Kill Them All: Happens to Pooh and his friends when the two crazy hunters show up.
- I'm a Humanitarian: The cannibals in "They'll Claw You Open."
Immune to Bullets: Gopher, since Disney created him instead of Milne. Gives him the power of Joker Immunity as well.
- Kaiju: Salt the Raging Hamster becomes one.
- Karma Houdini: The scientist in "On the Ethics," Salt the Hamster, the Poultry Killer, the Bison, the Serial Bomber, and the Eel Thing never seem to suffer any consequences for their actions.
- Mad Scientist: The singing character in "On the Ethics."
- Mind Rape: The Bison can burn your soul, among other things.
- No Sympathy:
"Emergency rooms are full / you're out of luck!"ï¿½"Earthquake"
- Off With Her Head: Happens to the Evil Hair Maiden.
- Poe's Law: All the time on Am I Right?.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: The entire point of "Die Die Die."
- The Scrooge: Our singer character in "Cadmium."
- Serial Numbers Filed Off: From "Less Than Advertised": "They have no factions and no names at all!"
- Shown Their Work: All the processes of killing and roasting chickens and ducks mentioned in "The Only Resort" and "Meat Cleaver" come from someone with experience in butchering poultry. (And talking down to both.)
- Shout-Out: A lot of the gimmicks used in "Serial Bomber" to blow up the convertible are actually references to Grand Theft Auto III and Forensic Files. The "green T-shirt" is a reference to stoplight parties, where only singles are supposed to wear green.
- Start of Darkness:
"Jerry the Psycho Reindeer / always had a bloody nose / Got dead rats in his mailbox / followed everywhere he goes..."The cop in "Boozer" has one during his Sanity Slippage while chasing the titular drunk driver.
- Stupid Evil: The scientist in "On the Ethics." Why, oh why are you creating that monster to begin with? And how will you possibly ensure that you yourself never become a victim? Especially when you forced him to kill his own girlfriend and gave him a perfectly understandable revenge motive?
- Transformation Trauma: Implied to the wolfman in "On the Ethics of Creating Werewolves."
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: The Serial Bomber wants to teach all women a lesson about infidelity. Even if he has to kill countless innocents along the way. His apprentice is even more sadistic about it.
- Your Cheating Heart: How women (and only sometimes men) end up dead in the Serial Bomber Trilogy.
- Your Head Asplode: Kanga's head gets blown off with a shotgun in "Massacre".