Backfire on the Witness Stand

SpongeBob: Mr., er... Squidward, was it? My client has been called cheap. Would you agree with this ludicrous statement?
Squidward: Yes.
Mr. Krabs: What?!
SpongeBob: Allow me to rephrase the question: can you tell the court of some instance of Mr. Krabs' generosity in any way?
Squidward: Nope. (to judge) Can I go now? One day off in three years, and I have to spend it testifying?!

— SpongeBob SquarePants, "Krabs vs. Plankton"

You're in a bit of a legal pickle, and the trial isn't going your way. The other side's case is rock-solid, and you have hardly anything on your side that could help. However, you've got a star witness—what they'll say in their testimony will undoubtedly vindicate you and make your case a slam dunk!

Your witness takes the stand, swears the oath, starts testifying... and to your horror, they're saying all the things you don't want them to say. Whether they're obliviously confessing proof of your heinous deeds or cruelly fabricating evidence for crimes you didn't commit, they're blowing a massive hole in your case. By the time they're done, they've done more to ruin your case than any of the other side's lawyers, and a ruling in your favor is all but impossible at this point.

The trope of a witness who hurts a case more than they help it can come about in many potential circumstances:

• An accomplice to a Frivolous Lawsuit or an Amoral Attorney who's supposed to lie tells the truth, either because they've had a Sudden Principled Stand or they're worried about the consequences of perjury.
• The witness is supposed to lie but is an Unwitting Pawn who is unaware of the plan, a bad liar who Cannot Keep a Secret, or a moron who makes an Idiotic Partner Confession.
• The witness is a True Neutral expert who refuses to spin damning data or a so-called expert who botches their presentation of helpful data.
• A witness with a bone to pick intentionally lies or phrases their testimony in a damaging way. This could be due to a Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal after already agreeing to testify, or the lawyer was never aware of the grudge.
• A prosecution witness plans to testify against an important criminal, but ends up unexpectedly lying on the bench in the defense's favor due to witness intimidation, because The Mob Boss Is Scarier.
• A witness testifies exactly as hoped, but during cross-examination, the opposing lawyer picks them apart and destroys their credibility.
• The witness is an idiot who supplies contradicting information that only helps the prosecution or forgot to supply information to the defense (either because the idiot thought it was of no consequence or "well, You Didn't Ask") until the moment the prosecution drops the bomb and there is nothing the defense can do but try to roll with the punch.

If the defendant chooses to testify and unwittingly reveals their own guilt on the stand, it would be an Accidental Public Confession. If it happens due to cross-examination from the opposing lawyer, it's The Perry Mason Method.

For cases that occur outside a legal setting, see Spanner in the Works or Hoist by His Own Petard. Compare Unwanted Assistance, Liar Revealed, Idiotic Partner Confession, Saying Too Much, and Cannot Keep a Secret.

This trope is the reason why law students are generally told not to ask their clients any question they don't already know the answer to in court.

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Examples

Anime & Manga

• The Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney manga has this happen preemptively to Phoenix in "Turnabout Gallows". When Bobby Wolfe is put on trial for killing his older brother Robin, Edgeworth claims that Bobby would have burned down the Den of Spiders, where Bobby's collections of spiders and spider books are kept, because if he were to be arrested or commit suicide after Robin's murder, no one would be left to take care of them. Phoenix counters that Bobby wouldn't willingly destroy his collection of spiders if Thomas Spitzer, his friend, were around to take care of them. Edgeworth, having anticipated this, calls Spitzer to the witness stand for the prosecution, and Spitzer claims that he finds Edgeworth more convincing, forcing Phoenix to find other ways to prove Bobby's innocence.

Comic Books

• She-Hulk (2004): Volume 2, Issue #3 has She-Hulk brought to trial by the Time Variance Authority for breaking time travel laws by trying to warn Hawkeye of his death. She-Hulk's friend Razorback decides to take the stand in her defense (her lawyer Southpaw doesn't call him to the stand, but Jen argues that his testimony can't hurt). Razorback recalls a story in which he and She-Hulk were delivering vaccines and were attacked by a hostile alien race. While fighting off the aliens, She-Hulk suffered a Wardrobe Malfunction which distracted the aliens, causing them to crash into an asteroid. The story causes the jury to burst into laughter, much to She-Hulk and Southpaw's annoyance and embarrassment.

Fan Works

• Cult Of Squid: Throughout Neptune Trials, various characters take the stand and make absolutely asinine claims that wind up hurting Squidward's case.
  Neptune Guard: You see, your honor, this man clearly has no idea what he's saying.
• Halloween Unspectacular: In "The People vs. Frederick Showenhower", Freakshow and a bunch of other villains are put on trial, with Lionel Hutz defending them. Among his other acts of stupidity, his list of witnesses for the defense include all the heroes, whom he didn't properly vet and didn't know were enemies of his clients, and therefore not willing to testify for them. When he realizes this, he tries to call for a brief recess but is denied when the judge deduces that he wants a chance to Run for the Border.
• Here tackles this in two ways:
  • Marinette refuses to serve as a Character Witness in Alya's trial, warning that "You don't want me to be expert testimony to your character because I'll tell them the truth. And I'd doubt you'd like that very much at all." Alya initially thinks that this was a betrayal, only to realize that she was being honest in order to avoid this very situation.
  • By contrast, Lila has absolutely no trouble taking the stand, serving as the sole testimony for the defense...and promptly tearfully attesting to how Alya was responsible for every lie she posted on the Ladyblog, forcing her to play along with her fraudulent claims.
• Discussed in Tales of Karmic Lies Aftermath. Facing a divorce and custody hearing for her unborn daughter, Ms. Bustier calls Marinette, Chloé, Rose, and Juleka as Character Witnesses, since the four of them are not just former students of hers, but active members of Team Miraculous. She's hopeful that being connected to such heroes will help her case; however, the four point out that if they're called upon to testify, they'll have to be honest — none are willing to commit perjury on her behalf, and her teaching methods ultimately did more harm than good...
• Weight Off Your Shoulder: Chloé confidently assumes that Ms. Bustier will be the perfect Character Witness for her trial; after all, she always took her side whenever Chloé's classmates were being ridiculous! However, Ms. Bustier has recently had a Heel Realization, and admits that she was wrong to constantly give Chloé the benefit of the doubt. On top of that, Chloé had bragged to her about her plans to ally with Gabriel's legal team in order to paint herself as an innocent victim; when Ms. Bustier reveals this on the stand, Chloé flies into a towering rage, screeching at her over her "betrayal".

Films — Animated

• The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad: In his trial for car theft, Toad swears that he bought the motorcar fair and square, trading it for the deed to Toad Hall. He calls Mr. Winkie, proprietor of the tavern where the deal took place, to corroborate. Toad introduces him as "a man of unimpeachable honesty" and begins to walk out of the courtroom thinking he already won, but once Winkie takes the witness stand...
  Toad: Now, Mr. Winkie, do you recall an incident that took place in your establishment, about August the 12th, that I was a party of?
  Winkie: Oh, yes, sir. That I do, sir.
  Toad: Well, then, just tell the court what actually happened.
  Winkie: Well, gov'nor, you tried to sell me a stolen motorcar.
  [Toad stumbles to a stop right as he's grasping the courtroom's doorknob, looks back shocked, and the courtroom's guards drop on him]
• Batman: The Long Halloween Part 2: Sal Maroni does this to Harvey Dent. He went to Dent promising to testify against the Falcone family in exchange for immunity, but on the stand he laughs in Dent's face and mocks Dent before throwing a bottle of acid at Dent, resulting in the creation of Two-Face.
• Heavy Metal: The first witness called by the prosecution in the trial of Lincoln Sternn is the gangly Hanover Fiste. Hanover starts painting the defendant as lawful and honorable because he'd been promised thirty thousand zuleks for favorable testimony. The Loc-Nar, however, monkey-wrenches Hanover's testimony, and transforms the man into a huge hulking brute hell-bent on crushing the life out of Captain Sternn. The courtroom panics as Hanover flicks aside security forces like boogers.

Films — Live-Action

• Zig-zagged in The Dark Knight. In Harvey Dent's first scene, he has Sal Maroni—the head of the Gotham Mafia—on trial, and on the witness stand is a mid-level mafioso who's agreed to testify against Maroni. The witness suddenly changes his testimony on the stand, claiming he's the head of the whole operation and Maroni's just the fall guy. When Harvey asks the judge for permission to treat the witness as hostile, the mafioso pulls a gun on him. Harvey punches him in the face and disarms him, snarks at Maroni about this, then insists on finishing his cross-examination—but he still loses the trial, and Maroni goes free.
• Denial: Julius spells out for Deborah that this is what will happen if she has Holocaust survivors testify against David Irving — he will badger and harass them until they crack and he'll make their case look bad.
• A Few Good Men: The cross-examining of Pvt. Downey almost single-handedly derails the defense in the case of the murder of Pvt. Santiago when Ross manages to make Downey confess that he was not given the orders for the Code Red directly from his superiors, but rather that it was Pvt. Dawson (a man who would want Santiago dead as accuser and sole witness of the fence shooting Dawson allegedly did) who got them and told Downey to come along. As for why neither accused Marine told Kaffee this little bombshell before the trial, the answer is "You Didn't Ask".
• The Ghost and Mr. Chicken: During the libel trial against Luther Higgs and his newspaper, Luther's defense team calls a man named Gaylord Patie, who gives testimony that supports Luther's story. However, when the plaintiff's attorney cross-examines Mr. Patie, Mr. Patie admits that he's a member of a society of believers in UFOs and that the society's last meeting was on Mars. This not only discredits his testimony but also makes Luther seem like even more of a liar.
• The Legend of Lizzie Borden: Hosea's case is already not going that well what with Lizzie's extremely incriminating testimony at the inquest having been ruled inadmissible. But things get worse when Hosea rushes an expert witness on the stand without vetting him, and the expert proceeds to testify that what minor bloodstains were found on Lizzie's clothes were "menstrual blood". Lizzie's acquittal follows soon after.
• In Liberty Heights, this is Played for Laughs - Van is at a party when Trey, who is drunk, crashes his car into the house. Van gets called to testify at Trey's trial, but when he's given the oath ("Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"), Van answers, "No". The trial ends in a mistrial.
• Sleepers: Deliberately Invoked by Michael, who deliberately calls a witness that winds up painting Nokes as an Asshole Victim in order to create reasonable doubt that his clients were the ones who took him out.
• They Drive by Night: Joe Fabrini is on trial for coercing Lana Carlsen to murder her husband Ed, with Lana herself being the key witness for the prosecution. Unknown to the prosecutor, Joe is completely innocent; Lana only accused him as retribution for not being romantically interested in her. Lana's guilt is also chipping away at her sanity. By the time Lana takes the stand, she's a Laughing Mad wreck who gives an incoherent testimony and claims her garage doors made her murder Ed. After she's finished, the prosecutor drops all charges against Joe.
• A Time to Kill: Carl Lee Hailey is on trial for the murder of the two racist thugs who had brutally raped his ten-year-old daughter. Dwayne Looney, a deputy who was present and lost a leg to a stray bullet, is called to testify during the trial. On the stand, Looney makes clear that he doesn't blame Carl Lee, and would have done exactly the same thing in his situation.
  Looney: He's a hero. You turn him loose!

Literature

• In Jose Luis Martín Vigil's novel Alguien debe morir (Someone Must Die), Alipio Zadona's common-law wife Encarnación is his alibi for the murder of Lucas Paz. However, she feels her interrogation's taking too long, so she lies and says she wasn't with him to get it over with.
• Watership Down: One tale of the rabbit Folk Hero El-ahrairah concerns a mole named Hufsa, a rabbit that El-ahrairah's nemesis Prince Rainbow forced El-ahrairah to allow into his warren. El-ahrairah confirmed that Hufsa was a spy by feeding him false information but couldn't simply kick him out of the warren without getting into trouble with Prince Rainbow, so he had to come up with a clever way to get rid of Husfa. He took Hufsa with him on a trip to go commit a grand theft after instructing several animals to do bizarre things in front of them during the trip and give nonsensical explanations for why. Eventually, the Prince was brought to trial by Prince Rainbow, with Hufsa as star witness. El-ahrairah then demanded a trial by jury and insisted on it even when Prince Rainbow told him it would have to be a jury of animals that prey on rabbits. However, once Hufsa started his testimony, the jury heard such absurdities (a rabbit smoking cigarettes?!) that they declared Hufsa insane and refused to hear any more evidence, and El-ahrairah was acquitted, while Prince Rainbow took Hufsa away. Hufsa came to be synonymous with Judas among rabbits evermore.
• In the Sidney Sheldon novel Nothing Lasts Forever, Dr. Paige Taylor is on trial for murdering a patient. (It was actually a Mercy Kill Arrangement situation, but technically, it's still murder and the fact that he left her a fortune looks bad regardless). The prosecution hears that her Sadist Teacher Dr. Barker wants to testify and is downright gleeful, as it's well known that he hated her. Only for the man to angrily denounce him for pressing charges against her and admit that he always thought she was an excellent physician and that he was hard on her because he wanted her to be perfect. This promptly sinks the prosecution's case.

Live-Action TV

• American Crime Story:
  • The People v. O. J. Simpson:
    • Episode six features the testimony of defense witness Rosa Lopez, a housekeeper for Simpson's neighbor who claims to have seen Simpson's white Bronco at his Rockingham home when Nicole and Ron's murders occurred. Since Lopez has threatened to leave the country due to being hounded by the press, Simpson's defense team moves to have her give her testimony at an earlier date. However, when Marcia cross-examines Lopez, she points out that not only are there no records of Lopez booking a flight out of the US, but she has also filed for unemployment. Worse, Lopez is unable to recall at what time she actually saw the Bronco; in her first statement, she claimed she saw it at 10 PM but said in later testimony it was at 10:15. Simpson makes it very clear to his lawyers how displeased he is by this turn of events.
    • Chris Darden desperately tries to convince Marcia Clark not to put Simpson's arresting officer Mark Fuhrman on the stand, as it would allow the defense to question Fuhrman about his history and about police procedures, for which Furhman would almost certainly plead the Fifth in order to avoid potentially incriminating himself or his fellow officers, creating the appearance of a cover-up. Clark doesn't listen to Darden and puts Fuhrman on the stand, and sure enough, Fuhrman pleads the Fifth, playing right into the defense's hands.
  • Impeachment: The Office of Independent Counsel uses increasingly desperate measures to compel Monica Lewinsky to testify because their only other witness to Bill Clinton's perjury is Linda Tripp, an obnoxious, self-aggrandizing paranoiac with a clear ulterior motive for aiding the OIC — she committed a felony by taping her conversations with Monica without the latter's knowledge.
• In the Season 3 finale of Battlestar Galactica (2003), Gaius Baltar is on trial for his role as The Quisling for the Cylons on New Caprica. When the matter of him signing execution orders for the local La Résistance members is brought up, he banks on the testimony of his confidante and loyalist, Felix Gaeta, who was the only other human in the room when the Cylons held a gun against Baltar's head forcing him to sign the orders. Unfortunately for Baltar, Felix had gone through a season-long Break the Cutie process and no longer held Baltar in any high regard. So, he lies under oath and claims that Baltar put up no resistance to the Cylons. The whole trial goes downhill from there.
• Better Call Saul: played with in "Chicanery," with Jimmy's bar hearing. Howard advises Chuck not to testify at the hearing, as they have enough evidence to get Jimmy's license revoked without it. Chuck insists on going anyway, both for his Control Freak tendencies and desire to end Jimmy's law career personally. It backfires in a breathtaking fashion when Jimmy tricks Chuck into an explosive Motive Rant on the stand that damages Chuck's credibility and ends up getting Jimmy briefly suspended instead of fully revoked.
• This happens in the Blackadder Goes Forth episode "Corporal Punishment", although in this case, it's because Blackadder's lawyer is an idiot who thinks calling the prosecutor, who has a grudge against the accused, as a character witness is a good idea.
  George: Captain, leaving aside the incident in question, would you think of Captain Blackadder as the sort of man that would usually ignore orders?
  Darling: Yes, I would.
  George: Um, are you sure? I was rather banking on you saying "No".
  Darling: I'm sure. In fact, I have a list of other orders he's disobeyed, if it would be useful. November 16th, 9:15am, 10:23am, 10:24am, 11:17am...
  George: You missed one there.
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine: In the fourth season finale, Jake and Rosa are being framed for armed robbery by Melanie Hawkins, and their last hope is Matthew Langdon, a former cop who went off the grid after working with her. Langdon tells Jake that he uncovered Hawkins' corruption, and she threatened his and his wife's lives if he didn't leave, but he agrees to testify on Jake and Rosa's behalf anyway. Unfortunately, the squad doesn't find out until he's literally on the stand that Langdon is in fact still working for Hawkins, and he lies to the jury that Jake tried to bribe him into smearing Hawkins' "good name."
• Downton Abbey: Played for Drama when Robert Crawley testifies in his valet Bates' defense for the murder of his estranged wife. He's forced to admit that Bates had said he wished his wife was dead, contributing to Bates' wrongful conviction.
• The Drew Carey Show: Mimi's sexual harassment lawsuit against Mr. Wick (and his countersuit for defamation) comes to an ignominious end when Drew is called to the stand. Drew is under the influence of an aphrodisiac and his consequent inappropriate behavior gets him removed from the courtroom. As he is the sole witness, the case is thrown out.
• House of the Dragon: When Otto Hightower sees that Prince Daemon took his niece, crown princess Rhaenyra, to a brothel, he reports this to King Viserys with some reluctance. While Otto has been searching for a reason to get Rhaenyra disinherited so that his grandchildren can take the throne, it's made plain that Otto honestly feels that Viserys should know this and that he doesn't take much pleasure from doing so. Unfortunately for Otto, while Viserys (privately) acknowledges the information, it also clues the king in on Otto's attempts to usurp the throne from Rhaenyra and sees him dismissed as Hand of the King.
• Justified: In "Guy Walks into a Bar," Raylan testifies at a pardon hearing for the imprisoned Dickie Bennett that he's a "thug" who's too dangerous to be released. However, he finishes his testimony by advising that Dickie be pardoned anyway. He reveals after the testimony that he hopes that Dickie will lead them to his criminal family's hidden wealth.
• Kenan & Kel: Played for Laughs in "The Tainting of the Screw". Kenan takes a tuna cannery to court for supposedly finding a screw in one of their tuna cans. He summons Kel to the witness stand as his only witness. Turns out, the tuna company was innocent, and the real culprit — if by accident — was actually Kel, which he admits while on the stand.
  Kel: [crying on the stand] I DID IT! IT WAS ME! I... DROPPED THE SCREW... IN THE TUNA!
• Lois & Clark: This is invoked by the villains in "The People vs. Lois Lane", which deals with Lois being framed for murder. When Perry offers to testify as a character witness on Lois's behalf, the villains abduct Perry and replace him with a hologram that gives a false testimony to make Lois look guilty.
• M*A*S*H: Defied in "Snappier Judgement". Klinger is facing a court-martial over a stolen Polaroid camera. Klinger picks Major Charles Winchester to defend him, so Charles goes about rounding up defense and character witnesses to bolster his defense of Klinger. Father Mulcahy offers to testify about how Klinger got a Seoul hotel to generously donate a bunch of new Bibles for the camp's Sunday service. While Klinger is subtly trying to get Mulcahy to stop talking, Charles puts two and two together and realizes Klinger had stolen those Bibles, which means that putting Mulcahy on the witness stand would score huge points for the prosecution.
• Zig-zagged in the Monk episode "Mr. Monk Takes the Stand." Monk serves as a major prosecution witness in Evan Gildea's trial for murdering his wife. Gildea's defense attorney Harrison Powell discredits Monk by revealing his mental disorder, leading him to panic and have a Heroic BSoD, while Gildea is acquitted. Fortunately, Monk finds evidence of Gildea's guilt in a different murder, and this time, Powell can't stop him.
• Nuremberg: The lawyer for Ernst Kaltenbrunner requests Rudolf Höss be brought in to testify on Kaltenbrunner's behalf. The prosecution doesn't object because it gave them to cross-examine Höss. In direction examination Höss testified Kaltenbrunner never visited Auschwitz as Kaltenbrunner hoped, but Höss noticeably hesitated when asked to confirm Kaltenbrunner never visited. During the course of the cross-examination Höss states that his people killed over 2.5 million people while he was commandant there. The testimony by Höss does nothing to help Kaltenbrunner escape a guilty verdict and death sentence at the end of the trial and likely helped seal the fate of a number of the other Nuremberg defendants as well.^note  The real-life Höss was himself later found guilty of war crimes and hanged in 1947.
• In The Office (US), Jan sues Dunder-Mifflin for firing her, (falsely) claiming it was because she got breast implants, and coaches Michael Scott to give a deposition on corporate mistreatment of employees. However, Michael is incensed that she admitted his diary into evidence and once gave a scathing performance review calling for his demotion, so he gives a deposition saying there's no pattern of corporate abuse and ruins her case.
• Seinfeld:
  • In "The Ticket," Newman disputes a speeding ticket by claiming that he was rushing to save a suicidal friend, and wants Kramer to pose as that friend in court. However, Kramer had his memory frazzled due to a kick in the head, and is incoherent during his testimony.
  • In "The Caddy," Kramer sues Elaine's buxom frenemy Sue Ellen Mishcke, on the grounds that the sight of her wearing a bra as a blouse caused Kramer to be distracted and get into a car accident. Although he's likely to win already, Kramer (on the advice of his golf caddy Stan) insists on having Sue Ellen try on the bra in question. Since she is wearing a leotard in the courtroom, she's able to pretend that the bra doesn't fit, and the judge rules against Kramer^note This is all a parody of the "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit" debacle from the O. J. Simpson trial.
• Subverted in a "Mathnet" segment on Square One TV. George Frankly is accused of robbing a bank in Los Angeles, while he was actually vacationing on an island in the middle of a lake 150 miles away. To prove his alibi, he calls to the stand a pilot who runs the island's charter plane business, the only way George could leave the island and reach Los Angeles in time. To his dismay, the pilot testifies that George did use his plane. Thankfully, Kate Monday checks on the weather conditions on the day of the robbery and discovers that there were heavy fog and winds, meaning that the plane couldn't have flown George across the lake. It is later revealed that the pilot isn't really a pilot, the sea plane business is fake, and the entire robbery was a Frame-Up against George hatched by two brothers he once put behind bars: one robbed a bank disguised as George, while the other posed as a pilot to testify against him.
• The first episode of The Wire features D'Angelo Barksdale on trial for murder which seems like a slam dunk, until one of the prosecution witnesses suddenly changes her story on the stand, and D'Angelo walks. The witness had been paid off, and the other witness is murdered at the end of the episode for refusing to cooperate.

Visual Novels

• Standard practice in the Ace Attorney series, where every defense witness is lying and/or mistaken about a key detail or three. Particular mention goes to a moment in the finale of the second game, where an assassin is called via remote link and confesses to the identity of his employer, which is strongly suggested to not be what he said to the prosecution in private.

Web Videos

• In the Scott The Woz video The Trial, Scott attempts to convict Steel Wool of murder. Despite calling the murder victims as witnesses, Steel Wool's attorney, Liza Lots, is far better at manipulating the series' Insane Troll Logic in her favor. It doesn't help that the witnesses are Too Dumb to Live, such as correctly identifying a handgun's model, or refusing to name the killer despite knowing their identity.
• The Trial Of Tim Heidecker:
  • Tim calls in EDM musician Orion Jaxx to testify that the conditions at the Electric Sun music festival were better than what the prosecution claims. Jaxx replies that he didn't get any of the amenities Tim promised performers, and he's still waiting for his payment.
  • Tim's next witness, Jesse Popp, says the festival was great and he never saw Tim hand out poisoned vape pens to concertgoers. However, the prosecution gets him to admit he's an actor who was paid by Tim to lie.
  • Manuel Giusti, Tim's final witness, presents an alleged Smoking Gun confession letter from Dr. San that would exonerate Tim. However, he admits under cross-examination that the letter was a forgery given to him by Tim.

Western Animation

• Avatar: The Last Airbender: When on trial for killing the folk hero Chin the Great in a past life, Aang resorts to trying to summon the spirit of Avatar Kyoshi to clear up the matter. Kyoshi answers the call, reveals that Chin the Conqueror was actually a brutal warlord and The Napoleon, and does not sugarcoat that she (indirectly) killed him. The Kangaroo Court promptly sentences Aang to being boiled in oil.
• Parodied in Family Guy:
  • In the episode "Petarded", Peter would call to the stand "The Ghost that Never Lies" (who was conveniently inaudible and invisible to everyone else but Peter). Said ghost still called Peter guilty.
    Peter: Ghost that Never Lies, did you witness the events that took place on that fateful day?... You did? Well, how interesting. And do you see the culprit or culprits in this courtroom today?.. You do? Well, would you kindly point him or them out for this court?.. *angry* Don't point at me, you jackass!
  • In "Friends of Peter G", Peter and Brian are arrested for public intoxication. During their trial, Peter tries to call his own hand as a character witness. However, his hand confesses to murder and Peter ends up withdrawing it as a witness.
• Parodied in King of the Hill. In the episode "The Trouble with Gribbles," Dale sues Manitoba Cigarettes and claims that his second-hand smoke made his wife Nancy ugly, as a scheme to get her a free facelift. He acts as both his own lawyer and his own witness and interrogates himself, but tanks his own case when he realizes that constantly calling Nancy ugly was hurting her self-esteem.
• Regular Show: In the episode "cool bikes", after Benson makes a bet with Mordecai and Rigby that he will give them back the high-end cart he confiscated if he ever admits that they are cool, the two go out of their way to become as cool as possible. This backfires when they are summoned to Intergalactic Cool Court and put on trial for being too cool. In a desperate attempt to get themselves acquitted, Mordecai and Rigby have their lawyer summon Benson as a witness, hoping that Benson will be too stubborn to ever admit they are cool and thus lose the bet. Unfortunately, once the judge warns Benson that he is under oath and thus forbidden to lie, Benson relents and admits that Mordecai and Rigby are cool.
• The Simpsons:
  • "Bart Gets Hit By A Car": When Bart is hit by Mr. Burns's car, Homer takes him to court for one million dollars. Shyster lawyer Lionel Hutz and quack doctor Nick Riviera conspire to make Bart's injuries appear worse than they actually are, which Marge feels uncomfortable about. Burns attempts to settle for $500k, but when he finds out about Marge's guilty conscience through eavesdropping, he rescinds the offer and has his lawyer call her to the stand. Unable to lie, she confesses her doubts at Dr. Nick's credentials, torpedoing the case and damaging her relationship with Homer. Fortunately, he realizes he can't stay mad at her for long.
  • In "Bart the Murderer", after Bart is framed both for the (supposed) murder of Principal Skinner and being the capo di tutti capi of the Springfield Mafia, Hutz calls Homer to the stand and asks if he can sincerely find his son capable of being the leader of a murderous crime syndicate:
    Homer: Well not the leader... [breaks down] Aw, it's true, it's true! All the pieces fit!! [bawls]
  • In "The New Kid on the Block," Homer and Lionel Hutz sue Captain McCallister's all-you-can-eat buffet for false advertising because the staff threw him out at closing time after he ate all the shrimp, but it still wasn't all he could eat. Marge is thoroughly embarrassed by the whole debacle and plans to lie in her testimony to get back at Homer. After her first lie (which visibly surprises Homer), it takes one reminder from Hutz that she's under oath for Marge to fold completely. After she admits that she and Homer spent half the night searching for another all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant — and then went fishing when they couldn't find one — Homer wins his case.
• Sonic Boom: In "Don't Judge Me", Dr. Eggman sues Sonic, claiming he was injured during their most recent battle. Tails tries to give a genuine testimony in Sonic's favor, but Eggman's lawyer twists his words to paint Sonic as a menace to society with a violent grudge against Eggman. Knuckles insultingly claims Sonic is too weak to have inflicted Eggman's injury, which Sonic angrily refutes, hurting his own case. Sticks' rambling testimony averts the trope inasmuch as, while it doesn't exactly help Sonic's case, it doesn't harm it either.
• SpongeBob SquarePants: In "Krabs vs. Plankton", Plankton sues Mr. Krabs over his (faked) injuries from slipping on a wet floor in the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob represents him and calls Squidward as a character witness to prove Mr. Krabs isn't a cheapskate who cuts corners with safety standards. However, Squidward bluntly affirms all of it and to add insult to injury, states that this is his first day off in three years.

Real Life

• Darrel Edward Brooks was charged with six counts of "Hit and Run involving death", sixty-one counts of "First Degree Recklessly Endangering Safety", two counts of "Felony Bail Jumping", and two counts of "Domestic Abuse". The case went to trial in October of 2021. Brooks decided to represent himself roughly two months before the onset of the trial, pleading "Not Guilty" and acting as his own legal defense. The witnesses he called for his defense were completely unhelpful to his case. Firstly, most of the witnesses he called involved people who actively either saw him or had family who were hurt in the parade. None of these people acted to defend him, nor did they have any testimony to help exonerate him. In fact, one of the witnesses outright listed off a series of significant medical injuries her children received as a result of the attack, and another vehemently identified him as the man in the red SUV (while also simultaneously identifying himself as a witness to the domestic abuse charges). Secondly, Brooks seemed to call his witnesses to the stand for the exact purpose of attacking their credibility. Only two witnesses were recalled that the prosecution called first, and both times he attempted to either discredit them with complete incompetence, or simply attempted to mock their history (such as the case with his ex who he called to the witness stand in an effort to paint her as a bad mom). The remainder were not prosecution witnesses, and if he was trying to discredit them, then it's bizarre he'd even call them as witnesses as they only testified because he subpoenaed them to do so. He argued with his own witnesses and did zero research on them or their involvement with the case. He assembled no questions, got flustered when his questions couldn't be answered, and even got one of his direct examinations prematurely ended when he began arguing with a witness that she was in cahoots with the prosecution. He complained that his own witness wasn't being helpful in front of the entire courtroom. It is no small exaggeration to say that Brooks would have been better off not presenting a defense at all instead of the defense he presented.
• Gertrude Baniszewski, on trial for her part in the torture-murder of teenager Sylvia Likens, had her 11-year-old daughter Marie testify as a witness in the hope that she would protect her. However, she soon broke down on the stand and confessed that she had witnessed her mother and her co-defendants torturing Sylvia, and that her mother was the main perpetrator. Baniszewski and her four accomplices were all convicted.
• Gaige Grosskreutz, who was called to testify for the prosecution in the trial of Kyle Rittenhouse. Ultimately, the defense backed him into a corner and forced him to admit he wasn't shot until after he pointed his gun at Rittenhouse (thus proving self-defense rather than attempted murder). The image of ADA James Kraus facepalming spoke volumes.

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