"I once met the Archangel Gabriel, you know! He said I was going to have a son by the Holy Ghost and that I should call him Emmanuel. But Joseph said that was a girl's name, and a bit slutty so we settled on Jesus."
— Virgin Mary
Jesus on Thyface: Social Networking for the Modern Messiah is a humorous look at the life and times of Jesus, but with a twist; the information is presented in the form of Facebook feeds. Despite being a satirical look at The Bible in general, it is actually a surprisingly accurate retelling of The Four Gospels.
- Aerith and Bob: Alongside the Biblical characters are such individuals as Kevin of Nazareth and Josh the Baker.
- All Crimes Are Equal: Played with. The Law of Moses states that almost any crime is punishable by death to a different degree. Unless you're above the law that is.
- All Jews Are Cheapskates: Particularly the disciples. John and Judas set up a price list relating to the extent of the healing Jesus will perform.
- Almighty Mom: The Virgin Mary, natch.
- Bestiality Is Depraved: After Jesus refuses Satan's temptations of sexual company with women or men, he assumes Jesus is a "stable boy."
- Big, Screwed-Up Family: The Herods.
- Blatant Lies: Simon the Pharisee suspects he has met Mary Magdalene before... until he learns she is a fallen woman, after which he denies any knowledge of her.
- Butt-Monkey: Matthew.
- Camp Gay: John Mark. The epilogue states he became a Chatty Hairdresser.
- Can't Get Away with Nuthin': Practically everything Jesus does gets him in trouble with someone - the water into wine miracle for example results in him being prosecuted for producing alcohol without a licence.
- Comically Missing the Point: A lot of people have difficulty understanding the meaning behind Jesus' teachings.
- Composite Character: Mary Magdalene and Mary of Bethany become one character.
- Deadpan Snarker: Jesus on occasion, usually when his disciples misinterpret him yet again.
- Decapitation Presentation: The John the Baptist action figure, a He-Man figure holding up his own head.
- Double Entendre: The title. Letting other people use your account is referring to as to "allow other people to sit on ThyFace".
- Mary Magdalene getting called "Jesus' right hand".
- Mary Magdalene has a habit of being on the receiving end of this, mentioning the time when she had "seven unclean spirits" in her.
- Expy: James and John Zebedee often seem to be this to rock star brothers Noel and Liam Gallagher.
- 419 Scam: Jesus receives a message from the son of a former deceased president who knows the location of King Solomon's Mines and needs someone to help him assist in transferring the funds.
- Funny Background Event: The various ads around the main feeds, as well as who is friends with who (John the Baptist is friends with the profit Muhammad whose page lacks an image, while Satan's friends include L. Ron Hubbard.
- The Gambler: Judas' gambling debts (at Satan's own casino) lead to him selling Jesus out for thirty pieces of silver.
- Gonk: Jesus describes Simon Peter as having the face of an Easter Island statue.
- Hard-Drinking Party Girl: The Virgin Mary is very pleased about her son's ability to turn water into wine to say the least, and contributes to an article about the ideal wine.
- Hot-Blooded: Simon the Zealot, who witnesses Judas' "suicide" and frequently expresses the desire to mash heads.
- Insult Backfire: Satan's response to being called "a thoroughly bad person."
- Jesus Was Way Cool: Manages to border this with Only Sane Man.
- Literal-Minded: Thaddeus and James the Less take a straightforward approach to finding lost sheep.
- Neat Freak: The Pharisee Guide to health and cleanliness is a repetitive cycle of prayer, washing hands, cross oneself, washing some more...
- Never Accepted in His Hometown: The Nazarenes complain that Jesus has been doing far too much preaching in Samaria and don't want him back home.
- Oh, Crap!: When Herod Antipas discovers exactly what he has done to John the Baptist.
- Playing Sick: Martha insists this what Lazarus is doing. Until his status changes to "Dead."
- Running Gag: John and James picking up on every possible innuendo, usually involving Mary Magdalene.
- The disciples' poor understanding of Jesus' teachings, leading to attempts to make money and extreme violence.
- Andrew's attempts to flog his fish. He is less than pleased when Jesus says only two fishes will be needed for his sermon.
- Sarcasm Mode: Jesus is less than impressed by the way the disciples interperet the sermon on the mount.
- When asked what profits a man who saves his soul to gain the whole world, James the Less responds "Oh I know - the world!". Though this may be a case of Literal-Minded.
- Sex Is Evil: One of John the Baptist's strongest beliefs, which he frequently rambles about.
- To which John Zebedee responds that he seriously needs to get a girlfriend.
- Shout-Out: "Jesus the Grey? Now I am Jesus the White."
- Followed by Simon Peter's snarky response "In one way you have not changed my friend. You still talk bollocks."
- The draft notes for the Sermon of the Mount include the line "I feel the hand of history on my shoulder.
- John the Baptist's album "Machareus Prison Blues."
- Barabbas becomes B.A. Barrabas, whose team includes Hannibal, who suggests using elephants to spring B.A. from jail.
- Good Friday is described like an episode of [1].
- When I Was Your Age...: Former High Priest and Old Windbag Annas Ben Seth is prone to these speeches.
