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Funny: You Can't Do That on Television
  • This memorable exchange, from the episode "Television".
    Christine: As you all know, Vanessa is new to the show and Vanessa, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me.
    Vanessa: There is something I wanted to ask you.
    Christine: Sure?
    Vanessa: How do they make that slime they're always dumping on you?
    Christine: First they take some wa- (catches herself) some liquid, and then they add some jello powder, and some flour, sometimes some soap, and they dump it all over me.
    Vanessa: (looks toward the ceiling) Where do they dump it from?
    Christine: Actually Vanessa, I've always wondered that too, but I just don't know.
    (green slime falls on Christine's head)
    Vanessa: Interesting. Is it always green like this?
    Christine: Well, yeah it usually is, but I guess it could be red.
    (red slime drops on Christine's head)
    Christine: Or... it could be blue.
    (blue slime drops on Christine's head)
    Christine: (getting annoyed) Or yellow.
    (yellow slime drops on Christine's head)
    Christine: Yep... Okay, you guys think you're so smart? Let's see stripes.
    (red, yellow, and blue slime falls on Christine's head)note 
    Vanessa: (who has been in the "splash zone" of the last few slimes) Boy, must be tough being a TV star. By the way, how do you get this stuff out?
    Christine: Well, it usually washes out with water.
    (water falls on Christine's head)
    Christine: Usually.
  • The infamous sketch on "Adoption" where Senator Prevert calls the orphanage to return Adam after using him to do chores, only to learn that "adoption" is forever (even though the orphanage would have had to take Adam back because of how poorly Senator Prevert is treating him).
    (Senator Prevert is on the phone while Adam is in a living room chair, exhausted and moaning)
    Prevert: Hello, hello, l-listen, is this the orphanage? Yeah, look, It's Senator Prevert here. It's about that kid we adopted this morning. Wait a minute...(to Adam): What's your name again?
    Adam (weakly): Adam.
    Prevert: What's your name?
    Adam: Adam.
    Prevert (back on the phone): Adam. Adam. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Listen, here, you can come over here and get him and take him back...What? No, no, no. He's through here...Yea—What'd he do? He did just about everything (as Adam is picking through Senator Prevert's bowl of potato chips): Yeah, he washed the car and he mowed the grass and he raked up the leaves and he cleaned the windows and he did the dishes and he carried out the garbage...
    Adam (interrupts as Prevert leans in to listen): C-cleaned the oven and scrubbed the kitchen floor.
    Prevert: Yeah, (back on the phone): Cleaned the oven and scrubbed the kitchen floor. Yeah, he's done everything that pretty well had to be done, so you can come over here and you take 'im back...What? What do you mean "Adoption is forever"?! Listen, this kid looks like he's getting hungry. He's gonna have to be fed. (venomously): You get over her right away, ya damn bureaucrat! (hangs up; turns attention back to Adam): Hey, listen, kid, what was your name again?
    Adam: Adam.
    Prevert: Adam, yeah, they won't be here for another half-hour, so why don't you go up and clean the toilet? (snatches potato chip bowl as Adam reaches for another chip): AND GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY POTATO CHIPS!

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