Radar: You Can't Do That on Television
This show got a surprising amount of adult humor out there (as Canadian kids' shows get away with a lot more than their U.S. and European counterparts, and the point of the show is to show stuff that wouldn't be considered appropriate for kids' TV), though some of it that wasn't caught in Canada was caught and censored by Nickelodeon (see "Edited for Syndication" entry on the trivia page.) Most of these are so blatant, they may as well be Refuge in Audacity.
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Sex and Nudity
- On the "Today's Child" sketch on the banned episode "Adoption," Doug's hobbies include reading Playboy magazine and looking up girls' skirts.
- The original cut of the 1984 episode "Body Parts" has three scenes that got cut in America: Mr. Schidtler showing a porno movie to the class, Alisdair selling Playboy magazines, and Karen Grant saying that her favorite body part is "what's in the pants" In this case, it's a wallet.
- "Hey Dad, you know how I you said I couldn't...you know...until I got married? Well, I'm going to get married. See ya later."
- "Censorship": A number of jokes revolve around black censor bars covering the cast members' groins (even though they're not fully naked)
Vanessa and Doug are playing cards as Valerie enters.Vanessa: I'm in luck! Three sevens, Dougie! I won! Peel.Valerie: (gasping) Children! I would be horrified that you would be playing like strip poker! It's immoral!Doug: No, mom, not strip poker, food poker. (He peels a banana.)Valerie: Oh. I've never heard of food poker. I'm sorry, Dougie. I don't know what I was thinking of.Doug: By the way, mom, what is strip poker?Valerie: Never you mind, young man. Just eat that banana.Vanessa: Hey, Dougie, wanna play another hand, double or nothing?
- "Books and Reading"
Mrs. Prevert is washing a stack of books in the sink.Adam: Mom! What are you doing?Mrs. Prevert: Oh, hello Adam. I was just washing some dirty books I found in your father's closet.Adam: Mom, you're ruining them!Mrs. Prevert: (faking concern) Oh, am I, dear?Adam: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? I'm going to go tell Dad.Mrs. Prevert: That's a good idea, dear. While you're at it, why don't you tell him that I just finished washing the dirty books I found in your closet. Your father would probably be very pleased to know that you have similar tastes in literature.Adam: ...Okay, maybe I won't then.Mrs. Prevert: Wise move.
- They did an episode about drugs, but, rather than show real illegal drugs (like marijuana and heroin), they used slime and pies as stand-ins.
- The show didn't seem to mind showing adults and children smoking cigarettes or drinking booze (at least in the Canadian episodes), though it was Played for Laughs and usually followed up with the kid being told that smoking and drinking are bad for you.
- "Rumors": The teacher Mr. Schidtler talks about a rumor going around saying he's a secret alcoholic. He decides to put the rumor to rest by taking the bottle out of his desk and becoming an open alcoholic instead — then he offers the kids a drink, and they happily rush the desk with cups in hand.
Two Boy Scouts are sitting on a house's front porch with a case of bottled beer.Boy Scouts (drunkenly): Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer...Scoutmaster: [Blows whistle] Empty bottles! You were supposed to collect empty bottles!Boy Scout: (drunkenly): We've been emptying them....
- A sketch on the "Medicine" episode where Senator Prevert lectures his son on the dangers of smoking, then lights up a cigar. When his son calls him out on it, Senator Prevert tells him that when he says "Smoking is bad for your health," he means his son's health, not his or anyone else's.
- Barth sounded like he was drunk all the time and smoked cigars while cooking while Lance Prevert openly smoked and drank (and also sounded like he was drunk).
- The jokes about child abuse on "Adoption," such as Adam being used to clean Senator Prevert's house and Prevert trying to get the adoption agency to take him back, Snake-Eyes the Bus Driver crashing into the orphanage he was sent to after he ran over his parents as a child, Barth killing his adopted children with his bad cuisine, and Doug being kept in a cage and whipped. Is it any wonder that Nickelodeon in America banned the episode?
Alasdair: Alanis... If... if you won't go with me to the network party, I'm just going to have to kill myself, that's all.
Alanis: Oh, Alasdair. How touching. I really want to help you. Okay.
Alasdair: You'll come?
Alanis: No, I'll go.
Alasdair: You'll go? Great!
Alanis: I'll go and get my father's gun.
- A series of sketches in this episode involved Lisa talking too much. At one point, a school skit had all of the other students and the teacher pull guns out of their desks and aimed them at Lisa.
Christine: Now this is the ultimate video cartridge. It lets you play with your favorite TV program and do what you've always wanted to do. Like, you could shoot down all those stupid little Smurfs, or you could make The Dukes of Hazzard get into a 20-car collision, or you could sink The Love Boat; think of it - you could commit arson...
- "Culture Junk"
An Opposite Sketch. Kevin comes in wearing a trenchcoat, hat and sunglasses, carrying a violin case.Mr. Prevert: Hey Kevin! Come here. Where do you think you're going with that? [points to the violin case]Kevin: I'm gonna go shoot up the neighborhood, Dad.Kevin opens the violin case to reveal a machine gun.Mr Prevert: I thought you were going to some boring violin lesson or something like that. Go on. Have fun!
While all the kids sitting in the movie theater are cut down by a barrage of bullets:Film announcer: Coming soon to a theater near you, "RAMBO KILLS EVERYONE"! See Rambo shoot your friends. See him kill you! See Rambo shoot everyone in the whole world without having to reload his machine gun once. "RAMBO KILLS EVERYONE"!
- The constant references to Barth using human meat for his burgers.
- Episode 7
Bradfield: Dad, what's the definition of "ignorance and apathy"?Senator Prevert: I don't know, and I don't give a sh—... care.
Lisa: Oh, Christine?Christine: Yes, Lisa?Lisa: Did you go out trick-or-treating?Christine: Actually, no, I just stayed home and helped to hand out the treats.Lisa: I thought so.Christine: What do you mean?Lisa: All night long I kept hearing about the "witch" on your street!
- The 1984 episode "Body Parts" had lots of jokes about "giving the finger". One example: In one skit with El Capitano where Christine was the victim, he had to delay her execution because the firing squad had all given the finger to El Presidente. "Unfortunately," he continues, "it was their trigger-fingers, and now El Presidente won't give them back!"